Category Archives: Completed Nudge

Nudged: Have a cup of coffee/glass of wine on the front porch

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Backstory: Many years ago, upon returning home from a vacation in France, I thought about what had been so special about our experiences–specifically, what were some practices or rituals I could continue back at home. One that had a huge impact was how we eased into dinnertime.

For several weeks after that trip, instead of my usual dash from office to kitchen at 6:00 pm (or 7 or 8), I made a point of slowing down, breathing, pouring something lovely (wine or Pellegrino with a slice of lime), then sipping that while nibbling a few olives or cubes of delicious and aromatic cheese. I’d like to resume this practice and make it a habit.

Maybe I’ll take in a sunset, or maybe I’ll get up with the sun. I plan to sit on our front porch; you might step into your backyard or ease into a chair with a lovely view. Whatever the circumstances, let’s be intentional about taking a few minutes to rest and reset ourselves.

What Happened: Inspired, I got up early one morning and sat in the quiet. Birdsong, clear skies, a steaming cup of tea (it’s what I was in the mood for), and Louie by my side. What a beautiful way to start the day.

The Ah-Hahs: No surprises with this Nudge, just reminders of how lovely my front porch is and how good it feels to sit here for a while and enjoy it.

 

Nudged: Spiff up something

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Backstory: I had to look back at my notes to remind myself why I included this nudge, and I’m sorry to report they aren’t particularly inspiring: “Clear it off or clean it up.” Geez.

But if I’ve learned anything during these past several years of nudging, sometimes the “simplest” challenge reveals a deeper significance. And as I sit here considering what I might do, I think perhaps “I” might be the recipient of some spiffing up this week. Spiritually, emotionally, physically…lots of possibilities there.

As always, make this your own.

What Happened: Moments after I posted this week’s nudge, I grabbed the tube of adhesive caulk that has been sitting on our dining room table (for over a year) and re-grouted the floor of our shower (that has been leaking for well over a year). Nudge done!

Well…maybe not. It seemed too easy. Sure, this task has been on my to-do list for far too long, but I felt there was more I could do. What else has languished on my list? What else is in need of a spiffing up? What else is on my overloaded dining room table?

My eyes landed on the wooden W that fell off the wall and broke (over a year ago). Thinking I could whip through this repair job too, I grabbed the glue and went to work.

Before.

Two days and three types of glue later (oy), it was back in its rightful place.

After.

The Ah-Hahs: Notice anything different in the before and after photos? (Besides the obvious split, of course.) Just below the V on the left, there’s now a blue spot. When I applied the third type of glue, the super-strong one that finally held, I didn’t realize it had seeped through to the paper I’d placed beneath it. In the process of drying overnight, this area soaked up the color of the paper.

And you know what? I love it. It reminds me of the Japanese art of Kintsugi, when gold is used to seal cracks or breaks in pottery. The end result leaves the piece more interesting, more beautiful, than before.

As I look at the repaired W, I’m reminded of all the times we have been broken–have failed, been disappointed, taken detours–and how all of those experiences have come together to make us who we are today. I love that every time I pass this, I am reminded that we are resilient and truly beautiful just as we are.

I’d love to hear what you spiffed up this week. Will you share in the Comments?

Nudged: Make a pie or tart

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Backstory: The full Nudge I created for myself reads:

“Surprise Thor with a pie or tart”

I couldn’t have picked a better Nudge at this time. If you’ve been following this blog, you know that today marks my return to nudging after “The Appendix Adventure.” I am happy to report that I finally–finally, after two months–feel good again. Not quite 100%, but figuring out what that means for me and getting there.

It’s so appropriate that this week I will do something special to thank my darling husband for his support and devotion these past couple of months (and always, really) with one of his favorite treats.

If you have someone special you’d like to thank, consider surprising them with a treat — homemade or store-bought. Or maybe this is a Nudge to treat yourself to something yummy. Have fun with it!

What Happened: I love how baking is a combination of science and art. Flour, sugar, cherries, butter…voilà!

Almost ready for the oven.

I don’t know why I don’t do this more often. It took little time, the ingredients were cheap, and it was fun! What is it about rolling out dough that is sooooo satisfying?

The best part was seeing Thor’s smile when he walked into the kitchen at the end of a long day and discovered his surprise, which made me happy. Nudge accomplished.

The Ah-Hahs: No Big Life Lessons here, just a reminder of how good it feels to mix together a few humble ingredients and create something beautiful.

Nudged: Buy a bar of my favorite chocolate & enjoy it

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Backstory: This Nudge is inspired by a nutritionist-recommended deprivation diet I tried in fall 2021. It was a disaster. I was miserable. Nothing tasted good, I got no pleasure from anything. Sure, a few pounds fell away, but I was so unhappy, I knew I had to find a better way.

I did some homework, took a hard look at what I really ate (all around, quite healthy) and how I really exercised, and made a few adjustments. I rethought my portions, changed up my workouts, and…success. Progress toward my goal weight and optimal health has been slow and steady.

So this Nudge feels like a small indulgence, and it is. As it should be.

What will you treat yourself to this week?

What Happened: I took this photo a few minutes ago, in preparation to tell you I failed at this Nudge.

Even though I made a special trip to the market just for this item early in the week, I never opened it. I felt I couldn’t do the real task of this Nudge, which was to “enjoy it.”

So…what the heck?!

I sat quietly this morning to think on this, and here’s what came up. Typically I’d treat myself to a piece when I was stressed, or as I was preparing a meal and wanted a little something to tide me over, or as a prize upon completing a work project. As I faced each of those scenarios this past week, none of them gave me the opportunity to truly enjoy this deeply delicious chocolate. I kept putting it off until I could take a moment, maybe pair it with an espresso or glass of excellent red wine, but that moment never happened.

The Ah-Hahs: “Failed”? Hardly. I think this Nudge was a huge success in how it made me more aware of how I eat, how I indulge (which is not a bad thing), and how I enjoy the good things in my life. I will open this chocolate bar one day soon, and the full experience of tasting, feeling, enjoying will, I trust, be wonderful.

 

Nudged: Take a Sacred Pause x2/day

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The Backstory: I wish I could remember which friend introduced me to the concept of “Sacred Pause,” because it’s brilliant. This is my way of taking small steps toward more mindfulness. I suck at meditation, and I’m tired of trying to force myself to do it. I’m not great about scheduling Me Time either. It’s also not the same as my regular prayer time, which is sacred in its own way. All I have to do–twice each day this week–is Stop. Take a deep breath. Close my eyes. Maybe stretch. That’s it.

To keep myself on track, I have written this on my daily schedule so I can check off each one.

What Happened: This Nudge was so timely and perfect for me. Life has handed me quite a lot, and I have had a couple of legit meltdowns. “Overwhelmed” doesn’t feel adequate.

So this week, whenever I started to feel panicked, stressed, distracted, pulled in every direction (like the afternoon when I was on the phone with the vet, Thor was texting me, our lovely housekeeper had a question, a client sent a red-flag email, AND the puppy signaled it was time to go pee again), I took a break and took a breath. Okay, I took the puppy out first, then I took a break, but most times when the inner call came, I just stopped in my tracks, closed my eyes, and paused.

One afternoon the pause expanded into a deep, dreamless nap (much needed). On two occasions my pause took the form of sipping a cuppa good tea while looking at something other than my computer screen. One morning, when everything was not going to plan, I listened to what I really needed and took myself and the puppy to the beach for an extended pause.

As of this morning, I feel like I am better at listening to myself and responding to what I really need in the moment. In just a few days I moved past the need for boxes to check off and I’m just doing this.

The Ah-Hahs: Mindfulness. Listening to my self, my needs. In the moment. When I think about how I want to master this in my life, it seems like a Big Project. And yet, what I discovered this week is that I could achieve it with a very small, simple, doable Nudge.

Nudged: Create a chalk message/drawing on the sidewalk

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Backstory: This is so funny: I was actually thinking about pulling out my basket of chalks a few days ago and making something fun, and now I “have” to do it!

If you’re a long-time Nudger, you know that this Nudge has appeared in every round. It checks all the boxes: cheap, fun, creative, outside my comfort zone (I am so not a visual artist), and it 100% lifts my spirits every time.

The message will go on our front sidewalk, so it will be addressed to our neighbors. However, I am fully aware that I am sending this message to myself. What do I need to hear/read? What do you need?

As always, make this Nudge your own. Maybe use paints, markers, or crayons to make an uplifting sign and hang it in your front window. Maybe create something on Canva and post it on your social media. Have fun with it!

What Happened: Oh, how I love this Nudge. I’ve been going out of the house a lot lately (puppy), about every hour on the hour (pee breaks), and every time my messages made me smile.

About an hour after I finished, I noticed one of the neighbor kids was out front, busy making her own chalk messages. She drew some flowers in front of our house with “You are awesome blossom!” #fullheart

The Ah-Hahs: My spirit needed this boost. I needed to do something fun. Sometimes it really is the simplest things that do the heavy lifting.

Nudged: Paint sample squares on the office wall

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Backstory: My office is in our home, and it’s an incredible space. Big bay window that looks out over our backyard. Mementos of past projects on the walls. A huge pine desk. And now a puppy pen in the corner. For years I’ve wanted to give it a makeover. I want color, I want pizzazz, I want something that represents my best self. I want it to look not just like a spare room that serves as an office, but as a truly beautiful creative space.

To that end, a couple of years ago I picked up sample bottles of paint to try out. This is the week I find them (they’re somewhere in the basement) and paint those squares on the wall so I can live with them and figure out what color I want my walls to be.

Thor and I have done this before. We completely changed the look and feel of our dining and living rooms with color. I also know that this is the gateway to more TLC for our home. Painting the walls is the first step that will eventually lead to nice curtains, a rug without holes, and lighting fixtures that don’t date back to the 1970s.

I’m excited to finally get this project started.

Lots of options for making this Nudge your own. Maybe you pick up some of those paper color swatches and start with that. Or browse online and create a Pinterest gallery for a new couch/reading chair/bathtub. Or fix one small thing in your home that has been on the to-do list for a while. If you need inspiration, check out Apartment Therapy, a site I’ve been following recently for motivation on decluttering.

Pick one small step in the larger project and get it done. Let’s show our homes some TLC this week.

What Happened: OMG, I actually did this! I had every excuse ready to flake on this Nudge. I even spent part of my lunch break on Tuesday snooping around Sherwin-Williams‘s website and playing with their “visualizer,” telling myself this would count as completing the Nudge.

But dangit, I’ve put this off long enough. I did, in fact, find those two sample bottles in the basement and was embarrassed to discover I didn’t buy them “a couple of years ago” but in February…2015. How long has “spiff up my office” been on my Wish and To-Do lists? Too long.

So this afternoon I took advantage of the puppy’s nap time and got to work.

Pretty, right? That’s Butter Up on the left, Jonquil on the right. They’re on the wall that I face when I’m at my desk, and I plan to live with them for a while, to see how they look in different lighting during the day, to see which one feels right. Or maybe I’ll decide to branch out and try something totally different. I have to say, there is a light, almost gray, lavender that caught my eye when I was browsing the website.

The Ah-Hahs: Painting these squares + clean-up took less than 10 minutes. I’m kinda beating myself up for putting this off for seven years! But it’s done, and I’m excited to move forward to next steps: choosing my palette, finding a coordinating rug + curtains + lamps. I’m also reminding myself that this is my Process for achieving things, a skill set I haven’t used in a while: Break a big goal/dream into small steps and do one by one till it’s complete. It feels good to be moving forward.

The other ah-hah is I noticed how calming the physical painting was. My breathing naturally aligned with my brush strokes. The colors lifted my spirit. I’m smiling right now as I look at these two colors.

Isn’t it fun when a Nudge turns out to be packed with unexpected gifts?

P.S. What do you think: Butter Up or Jonquil or…?

Nudged: Take a Mental Health Day

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Backstory: “Oh, SURE!”

That’s what I all-but-yelled when I drew this Nudge a few minutes ago. “Take a Mental Health Day.” Take a day off in one of my busiest weeks ever.

I could take one of the four passes. But how ironic is that?

I looked back at my notes on why I included this on The List 3.0. Here’s what I wrote:

“I’ve been my own boss for over two decades. Taking a ‘sick day’ pretty much doesn’t happen, and ‘paid sick days’, well…. I even work weekends once in a while. Also, when I scheduled my COVID booster shot last fall, I found myself looking forward to the time I would ‘get’ to take off to recover. How wrong is that?! I need time to rest and recharge.”

Alright. I accept this Nudge and will give it my best effort.

What Happened: As soon as I finished the Nudging post, I started making a to-do list of what I might do with my Mental Health Day. And then I laughed at myself. Time to get off the treadmill!

Because I had an intensely busy week ahead, I knew I had to be intentional about the day. I chose Friday, knowing I could cram everything else on my schedule into Monday through Thursday and then be able to take full advantage of the Nudge–and not be tempted to cheat.

Ironically, I woke up Monday morning feeling under the weather. WTH?! But I had a big client deadline, so that wasn’t happening. And I didn’t want to work through the morning and take just a half day off. I didn’t feel I would reap the full benefits of the Nudge.

On Tuesday, a client Zoom meeting got postponed at the last minute, but since I was already up and dressed (and in full camera-ready hair and makeup), I took that gift of extra time to tackle things due later in the week.

There were a couple of late nights, but I made it. Friday morning I woke up ready to GO!

Wait. Not that. Well, shoot. This was not the day to catch up on laundry, make and freeze a big batch of soup, pick up the drycleaning, or reply to old emails. I shifted gears and asked myself, What would I want to do if I really didn’t feel well and really needed to take a day off?

I lingered in bed with an inspiring book (Almost Everything by Anne Lamott–highly recommend). I took a long soak in a hot bubble bath (with lavender and epsom salts–divine!). I cuddled up on the couch and enjoyed a favorite feel-good movie (Under the Tuscan Sun–“Lots and lots of ladybugs, Kath!”). I spent a little more time than usual with my daily prayers.

By then it was noon (I know), and I discovered I was bored (I KNOW!). What is wrong with me?!

After a light lunch, I took myself out for a walk. Not my usual multitasking get-some-brisk-exercise-while-listening-to-an-audiobook-and-running-errands kind of walk, but a slow, relaxed, take-in-deep-breaths-and-the-scenery walk. As I walked through one part of my neighborhood, I felt “called” to take a detour and go lie on the grass on an island in a small cul-de-sac. But I resisted. If felt weird. It wasn’t my cul-de-sac, and I worried the residents wouldn’t appreciate my presence.

As I looped back toward home, there that island was again. This time, I didn’t resist. I turned left, plopped myself down on the grass, and was treated to this:

I took in the clarity. I felt and breathed in the breeze. I listened to my heart, and it told me to shut up and enjoy the moment.

The Ah-Hahs: It’s now Saturday morning, and I am pleased to report that I feel incredibly calm and rebalanced. Check this off as one very successful Nudging! Though, I think I might change it from a “Mental Health Day” to a “Spiritual Health Day,” because I feel the benefits in mind and body and spirit. Ahhhhhh.

Nudged: Write & mail 5 “Thinking of you” notes

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Dear Nudger,

If you have followed 52Nudges for a while, you know that I love sending–and receiving–handwritten notes. So much so, that mid-pandemic, I did a whole series of “Connections” Nudges. When I started creating the 3.0 List, I considered dropping this, because, well, it’s been done.

But then, in September of last year, I discovered a stack of holiday cards from 2020, set aside because I had planned to follow up with those people, call them, send an email, tell them how much I enjoy watching their families grow and appreciate their keeping in touch with me. In there was a sweet note from a friend I hadn’t talked to in a while, a long while. I wish I could tell you I picked up the phone and called her in that moment, but that was not possible, because she had taken her own life in August.

This Nudge is in tribute to her. This week I will reach out to a handful of faraway friends and tell them how much I love them, now, while I can.

It’s been a tough couple of years. We’re busy, we’re worried, we’re overwhelmed. I hope this week’s Nudge will generate a little bit of joy for all of us.

Yours, with deep affection,

Kathleen

P.S. If you’re in a dark place, help is available. Please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 and https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.

What Happened: I just mailed the last of my cards. I was at first tempted to do this all in one rush–I even addressed all five envelopes on Sunday after I drew the Nudge. Instead, I found myself wanting to take my time, to be fully present with each. Five days, five personal notes. Signed, sealed, and mailed.

The Ah-Hahs: I think I’m pretty good about keeping in touch with people, but I wish I could be better. The days, the weeks, the months go by in a flurry of work and responsibilities, and…well, you know the drill. I’m glad I could be intentional about reaching out this week. This Nudge did lift my spirits, and I hope my notes lifted the spirits of their recipients.

As I write this, I’m trying to sense if there’s a deeper meaning to all this, a deeper ah-hah. I don’t know. But I’m reminded of how, whenever I traveled solo many years ago, I would send a postcard to myself, a memento of my adventures. You know what, I think I’m going to write one more note right now. I’m going to tell my sweet friend Kath how wonderful she is, how much she is loved. And I’m going to put a stamp on it and mail it. I have a feeling it will arrive on a day when I really need it.

Nudged: Clean out the pantry

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Backstory: Gack. I kinda don’t want to know what’s hiding in the dark corners of my pantry. But it’s time to pull everything out, wipe down the shelves, and toss out anything that has expired.

This might be lacking the “fun” element I want most Nudges to have, but this task has been on my decluttering to-do list for years.

If your pantry is ship-shape, accept this Nudge to attack your linen closet, china cabinet, CD collection, or anything else that needs attention.

Here’s my before photo, to keep me honest:

Let’s do this.

What Happened: I had such good intentions for this Nudge. I was going to break this down in to doable parts by tackling just one shelf each day.

But then I got busy—with work, with life—and I put it off. Which is exactly why I’m facing this mess today.

Early this morning (Saturday), I finally dove in. With everything out, I wiped off the shelves (yuck), then put on my glasses and started reading the fine print. “Expires 2017.” Dear heavens. “Expires 2016”–seriously?!

After taking out a very full trash bin, I considered what made sense and put items back in categories: refill items, ingredients for savory dishes, ingredients for sweet stuff. Looks good!

The Ah-Hahs: This Nudge was very calming. Does that sound weird? There’s something about being able to see what I have, find what I need when I need it, and see what I don’t have that I need to get. In the mix of expired items, I also discovered items from recipes I haven’t made in a long time—like lentils for soup, one of Thor’s favorites. A fresh bag of beans went on my list for my next shopping trip.

As I admired my display, I also realized how satisfying it was to “reclaim” this space. Which kind of inspires me to tackle the next closet. 😉