Category Archives: Completed Nudge

Nudged: Learn how to do card-shuffle-fan thing

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Backstory: I have always wanted to learn how to do that fabulous trick where it appears you are tossing a desk of cards from one hand to the other in a long stream.

My first stop will be Google, where I hope to determine what it is actually called. (Pretty sure it is not called “card-shuffle-fan thing”. Sheesh.)

Then I am going to peruse tutorial videos on YouTube.

My ultimate goal is to be able to intimidate…eh…impress my friends with whom my husband and I play the card game Hearts every few months. I lost, by quite the margin, at our last session, so I am looking for every advantage.

Our next tournament…eh…friendly game is scheduled for late summer, so I have plenty of time to practice. This week is about doing the research, taking the first steps, and having fun pursuing something that has been on my personal to do list for ages.

What are you going to nudge yourself to try this week?

What Happened: Get ready to be impressed! 😉

First up, I googled for information and learned the trick I wanted to learn is called a “waterfall.” Cool!

Next, I searched for training videos and found this one.

Deck of cards, training video, ounce of courage…I was good to go.

Here is a typical representation of my Day 1 attempts:

Hmmm…I think there’s another name for that “trick”. 52 Pickup, anyone?

On Day 2, I determined my hands were too small to be successful, so I was pleased to discover we had a smaller-sized deck in the games cabinet.

Um…it didn’t completely solve the problems. But every day, for five to 10 minutes, I stood at my desk (figured out that was a good way to catch the falling cards) and practiced.

Slow and steady. Deep breath. Patience, determination, and optimism. Repeat.

Here is the video Thor took of me tonight: card waterfall video

If for some reason you can’t watch it, well, let’s just say The Magic Castle won’t be calling any time soon. But it’s better than where I was just a few days ago!

The Ah-Hahs: Earlier in the week I caught up with a friend who is also revisiting her childhood passions. What did she love doing? What would keep her occupied for hours? And how might she incorporate some of that former joy into her life today?

This Nudge was that for me. I didn’t have any grand revelations about life, I just had some fun. I took a few minutes out of my insanely busy workdays and fed my inner child.

Oh, and I’m not giving up. I still have time to perfect this trick before our next game of Hearts.

P.S. This is interesting. I just inserted the tags for this post and was reminded of my earlier post about wanting to find my Mojo, to find or reclaim my magic. This was not at all what I had in mind for myself at the time, but cool!

Nudged: Do something I hate (i.e., weeding)

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Backstory: Ugh. Remember when I/we did something that scared us? (Read that post here.) That was scary (obvs), but it also had an element of fun. Not so much this Nudge. This has a taint of must-do, take responsibility, be an adult.

Or…I need to see this as spreading my wings and taking a leap of faith out of my nest.

That seems much more exciting, doesn’t it? 🙂 Let’s do this.

What Happened: The actual slip of paper for this Nudge includes “(i.e., weeding)”, so I initially thought about weeding at least part of the backyard, but couldn’t bring myself to do it. (Seriously, I do not enjoy gardening, as we learned in this post about finding a new bookstore. When I win big in the lottery, my first outsourcing will be to hire someone to clean up my garden—and maintain it—for me.)

Instead I decided to tackle the refrigerator. This is one of those household tasks that ends up on my to do list almost every week, and almost every week gets bumped to the end of the line.

So… I pulled on the ol’ rubber gloves, grabbed the trash can, and dove in.

Two words: Bio. Hazard.

Is sticking to a new diet on your list of New Year’s Resolutions? Then I’ve got a sure-fire trick for you to achieve your goal. Just pull a few condiments out of your fridge, read the expiration dates (oh, sweet god), then try, just see if you can open the lids that have become glued to the jars by what is now unidentifiable muck.

Gag-o-rama.

But it got done. All of it. And honestly, it wasn’t all that bad. Nothing pre-dated my marriage, which made me feel a tiny bit better about things. (I say this because there was a time when I went through the spice rack and discovered some items lurking in the back that should have been added to the compost pile ages ago). And there wasn’t a lot. I was definitely shaming myself for wasted food as I tossed unused items, but I couldn’t dwell on things that at this point were way beyond saving.

Ah-Hah: So fresh start. Clean shelves. Open spaces. When I popped out to the market this afternoon, I only purchased ingredients for our next several meals, and you can trust that moving forward I’ll be conscientious about only buying what we need for now.

It’s not perfectly organized, but it’s clean and I know what’s in there. Progress!

I’d like to tell you that during the process I also experienced a personal ah-hah, one in which I chose to embrace that every day is a fresh start with open spaces for new opportunities. I didn’t.

I also could have looked at this as an opportunity to examine the things in my life that have the potential to make me “sick”, physically, emotionally. I didn’t really do that either. But somewhere in the back shelves of my subconscious, the ideas are there, and maybe I’ll find myself making healthier choices as a result.

What did you weed out of your life this week?

Nudged: Wear a different scarf every day

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Backstory: This came from two things: (1) my mojo goal of getting dressed every day and (2) my decluttering. I have a lot of scarves. I’m wondering if I really wear or need all of them. So I’m going to go through them this week and see what happens.

What Happened: On Sunday, I wore my one and only red sweater, but I don’t have a scarf with red in it. I have an ivory one, but I wear that all the time. I was feeling the need for coziness, so I put on a SF Giants-themed scarf made from fleece. It was a gift from special people a few Christmases ago, so I thought of them as I put it on and felt wrapped in a hug. Good choice.

On Monday, I decided to mix things up, have a little fun, and add an extra challenge. I reached into my closet and blindly chose a scarf, then had to build an outfit around it. I selected a silk paisley scarf in shades of purple. It was way dressier than my day (in the office, with tasks to do around the house), but okay. Game on! Instead of wearing it with the usual lavender sweater, I pulled out a pale pink. It worked! Instead of pearls, I dug out a pair of bronze-colored earrings. Nice. Hair up, mascara on, and I was ready for the day. I felt good.

Grapped a big pink pashima on Tuesday morning and paired it with a coat that hasn’t received much love lately. The coat is looking a little worn around the cuffs, and almost went into the dumpster…but…you know…with a little ribbon stitched around the edges, maybe I could remake this into something “new”? (Or better yet, maybe the tailor at our drycleaners could do it for me).

Wednesday’s pick was a super soft blue scarf. This one feels like wrapping my neck in a hug. Love this scarf. I’ve had it for…oh, geez, about half my life. It’s going nowhere.

I had to attend an event Thursday and had my outfit all picked out ahead of time in my mind. But with this Nudge, I decided to let Fate take over. I pulled out a scarf that I have mixed feelings about. It’s elegant and beautiful, but it’s not a great color on me. But that’s what I pulled, so that’s what I had to work with. Starting with the skirt I’d chosen for the evening, I selected a different top and shoes. The combination didn’t quite work. The colors were kinda there, but not exactly. Then, on a total whim, I turned the scarf over to its back side. Mind. Blown. Okay, that’s a bit overstated. But I got a whole “new” scarf out of it.

It’s the end of the week and I haven’t given away a single scarf. I’m okay with this. I was intentional about this Nudge and it totally worked for me, even challenged me to try new combinations in my wardrobe. What a fun win!

Some of this week’s scarves, all pretty and organized.

Ah-Hahs: I saved Friday for last. I had a long and busy day, but I had to run to the market. On a normal workday, I would have dashed out of the house in yoga pants, a big fleece jacket, hair in a messy bun, and maybe a dab of lip gloss.

But then I thought back to that great show What Not To Wear and how the hosts always said it takes just as long to dress nice as it does to dress sloppy. So true! Maneuvering into a snug sports bra and cramming my booty into formfitting leggings takes real effort! Instead, I pulled on skirt and sweater, slipped into loafers, and draped a scarf over my shoulders.

You know what, I didn’t just feel “nice”, I felt “chic.” And because I felt chic, I carried and presented myself better. And so I felt better about myself.

It’s the same lesson I reaffirmed when I wore different hats during the week for a Nudge not long ago. (Read that post here.) Really, being nice to ourselves and setting ourselves up for a great day is so simple. Let’s keep it up!

 

Nudged: Create a chalk message on front sidewalk

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Backstory: What are some of the things you loved doing as a child? Off the top of my head:

  • Seeing how high I could swing on the swings at the playground.
  • Creating baked goods. (Some experiments didn’t qualify as “good,” but they were still creative and fun).
  • Dancing, both in ballet class and freestyle with my friends.
  • Pretending to be Nancy Drew/Barbie/one of Charlie’s Angels.
  • Getting lost in a good book (Nancy Drew, Little House on the Prairie).
  • Decorating the sidewalk with colored chalk.

Whenever we host a special event, I love to greet our guests with a message. Happy Birthday! Merry Christmas! Welcome! I typically include their names with some simple drawings (hearts, flowers), and when I open my door, I am gifted with big smiles.

There’s no special occasion this week, but I think it will be fun to greet my neighbors with a bit of joy.

I keep a basket of chalks, both the small and big sizes, in a table by the front door. They’re cheap! Find colored chalks at toy stores, crafting stores, and some grocery or drug stores.

Chalk not your thing? Then maybe pull out a sheet of printer paper and draw a sign of greeting to hang in your window or on your front door. Have fun with this!

What Happened: Early Monday morning, feeling a bit goofy, I went outside and wrote my message. I used a light-colored chalk, so it’s a little hard to see in the photo. It reads:

It’s going to be a GREAT day! (smiley face)

 

I smiled the whole time I was writing it…until I looked up and was face-to-face with a neighbor I’ve seen around but don’t know. He was dressed for work (of course); I was in animal print flannel PJs, blotchy pillow-imprinted face, and bed-head hair. Lovely! I imagined him thinking, “Crazy woman”, but you know what? I didn’t care. I wished him “Good morning!”, gave him my friendliest smile, and finished the last touch on my message.

As my day progressed, I found myself sneaking peeks outside the front window. Had anyone noticed my message? Was anyone lifted out of Monday Morning Gloom?

It didn’t take long for me to realize the message was for me as much as anyone. I was wishing myself a great day, setting the stage for a great day with a great attitude. And I found myself smiling frequently.

The next morning, although my original message was intact, I wanted more. Now I am not an artist. I don’t kid myself about that, especially since I work with amazing artists and know what they are capable of. But I can do simple drawings, so I went with this:

Wednesday, rains gifted me with a fresh canvas of sorts, so on Thursday it felt appropriate to create this:

Again, no one stopped by to comment. I don’t know if it made anyone smile or think how much they used to love chalk drawings. It didn’t matter, because…

The Ah-Hah: …doing this made me happy. That’s right, just a few minutes in the morning instilled a lightness and joy in me that lasted all day long.

There were a few moments of “I should take a class! I should learn more art!” I really think that’s beyond me, but I can appreciate the delight that comes from things like the International Chalk Festival. If you are looking for inspiration for your own creations—or just want to be delighted—check out some of the artists and their amazing work here.

P.S. We’re having some friends over for dinner tonight. Guess what I’m going outside to do right now? 😉

Nudged: Fix something

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Backstory: Right after I pulled this Nudge from the jar, I scribbled down a list of to dos from off the top of my head: replace the smoke detector in my office, clear the shower drain, mend the collar of my favorite sweater…. Easy things to do, I suppose, so I don’t understand why this list grows and grows as I put things off.

Or maybe this Nudge isn’t about literally fixing a “thing” but about mending a rift, rebuilding a connection, healing a hurt. There’s all sorts of ways we can approach this one. Let’s see what comes up.

What Happened: Monday morning I pulled out my actual to do list (which runs four pages in double columns of nine-point font—ugh) and combined that with the list I came up with on the fly Sunday morning. There are big to dos, like scheduling repair work on my car, and little to dos, including all those “quick ’n’ easy” tasks that pile up. I imagined taking half a day and buzzing around, crossing things off the list, while Rimsky-Korsakov’s “Flight of the Bumblebee” played in the background.

Tuesday our wonderful housekeeper cleared the shower drain, so I got a freebie. Today I faced a big work deadline, so naturally this was the perfect time to distract myself. I set my timer for one hour (to help me stay focused), then grabbed some tools. First I removed the showerhead that has been spraying us at about 50% capacity lately. After soaking it in lime remover didn’t make a difference, I went online for help and found a recipe for 1/3 cup baking soda + 1 cup white vinegar for dissolving deposits. While that soaked, I grabbed the WD40 and oiled all the locks. No more struggling to get into the house! Then I super-glued a piece of art that has been in need of attention for like a year. Check, check, check. Huzzah! I felt like such a super woman and I had fun.

Fun?

Yes, fun.

I feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment when I fix things around the house. I know this is in part because some of these tasks are considered “man’s work”, and dangit, I like knowing I can take care of things myself (thank you very much).

“I am woman. Hear me…wrench something!”

Ah-Hahs: What needs fixing most? My attitude. Sure, dealing with household chores is a pain, but they have to be done. So…why not make a game out of it or turn up the stereo and dance my way through them? Think of all I could accomplish and how much more fun I could inject into my life if I just fix myself a little bit. Hmmm….

Nudged: Draw something to manifest x5

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Backstory: I think my original idea was to use this space in my office—the big white board I have on one wall and look at every day—to visualize something I want in my life. I’m not entirely sure what I meant by “x5”. Could be I wanted to draw a new image each day of the work week, or am I supposed to draw five different images that represent one dream? I’ll figure it out.

Please remember, I am a writer, not an artist, so don’t expect this to be pretty. 🙂 I hope this Nudge will be fun—and fruitful!

What Happened: I brainstormed what I might want to manifest. Breaking my Life into categories, I noted a few things under each. For Work, I want to finish a big personal project (maybe draw images of the final printed version). For Mind/Body, I want to reach that long-sought-after goal weight (I envisioned drawings of the scale with my “magic” number) and get in some replenishing naps. For self-care, I want to be gifted with some really nice PJs, both cozy flannels and something that feels feminine and luxurious.

Really? These are the big “dreams” I want to manifest for myself? Who is this person?!?

I took a step back mid-week to mull this over. Sure, things like winning the lottery so that I could feel financially secure would be lovely, and taking steps toward being more financially secure is a worthy goal. But a “dream”? Hardly.

Where did my big dreams go? What happened to being recognized for my creative work and feeling successful and finding true love? (That last item on my bucket list got checked off, by the way.) None of the items on my initial list are the least bit exciting. How depressing is this?

It crossed my mind that 50-something women don’t dream. The Big Things in Life are those we hope for in our 20s and 30s, when fame and fortune and achievement and recognition seemed all-important. I don’t, honestly, want to be living a Rich & Famous lifestyle, but every March I still imagine my Oscar acceptance speech (“I’d like to thank the Academy…”).

The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to imagine manifesting something “impossible”. So here’s what I ended up drawing:

Starting at top left, my rendition of the Pulitzer Prize Gold Medal, followed by my work at #1 on The New York Times’ Best Sellers List, and at the bottom a check for $250,000.00.

What this represents to me is being recognized for my writing, for my creativity, for my connecting people through my work. I have no idea what kind of work this might be, but I don’t feel that’s my job right now. My job is to state (or draw) my wishes to the Universe, then step back and let the Universe do its thing.

The Ah-Hah: Honestly, I felt disappointed in myself this week. I want to dream big again. I want to feel inspired and motivated and excited. What will it take to do this? I don’t know yet, but I’m determined to find that “impossible” goal and have fun going for it.

Nudged: Drink 3-4 liters H2O every day

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Backstory: Drinking enough water seems such a simple thing to do, and I know it will impact my health and well-being. So why don’t I keep it up?

I don’t have an answer. I just need to do this.

What Happened: I never hit the 4-liter mark, but I hit 3 a couple of days and comfortably downed 2+ on the other days. This is not “perfect”, but it’s “better”, and I’m okay with that.

Along the way, I figured a few things out:

  • If I exercise in the morning, I quickly and effortlessly go through the first liter.
  • If I put a slice of citrus in it, it feels special.
  • If I serve water in a fancy glass or mug, I pick it up more often.
  • If I put it in a pretty pitcher, it feels like I’m treating myself. It also helps to see that full liter on my desk, to keep track of how much more I need to drink and to save me the time of having to refill in the kitchen.

  • If I made it a game, it was kind of fun. For example, when I took stretch breaks from work on the hour, I swallowed several gulps. When I watched TV, I took a couple of gulps whenever there was a commercial break. (Which is funny, because we fast-forward through most ads, but I still used those breaks as a reminder to sip.)

How do I feel? Fine. Did I notice any big changes in my health or well-being? Not yet. But I believe the long-term benefits will happen if I keep this up.

In fact, during the week I mentioned this Nudge to a friend who has a couple of decades on me. She has been concentrating on increasing her water intake recently and has noticed that several nagging health issues have, for lack of a better word, eased.

Ah-Hahs: No fireworks. No fanfare. No big ah-hah moment. This was simply a step toward better self-care, and it’s something I need to continue working on. It’s all good.

Nudged: Plant something

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Backstory: Well, crap. This is clearly a Nudge from the original list, before I did some other Nudges that helped me gain clarity on how much I do not like gardening. Isn’t one of the “rules” of nudging that it has to be “fun”?

Ugh.

But…I have been thinking it would be nice to plant a new rose bush in the backyard, to have fresh cut flowers without having to spend the extra money at the market. And the blueberry bushes are thriving, despite lack of attention, so maybe another one would work. Or a new herb plant for the kitchen window?

I am feeling anti-enthusiastic about this week’s task. But I drew it, so I must do it.

What Happened: I spent much of this week looking for ways to wiggle out of this. I mean, really. I had no desire to go to the garden center, pick something out, and dig in the dirt just to check this off. Maybe I could get “creative” about this one. Maybe I could “plant my feet” into some intention? Maybe I could use my last “pass” and choose another Nudge for the week? (Although by the time I thought of this, much of the week had gone by.) I even considered fudging about completing it, which is 100% in opposition to what this 52Nudges experience is about.

This morning this Nudge continued to hang over my head, taking up mental space as I worked, ran laundry, and tried to distract myself with busyness. I really don’t want to do any gardening. The thought of wandering the garden center for inspiration doesn’t elicit any good feelings from me. But what “seed” might I “plant”?

Ah. Hah.

On my to do list is visiting my oldest friend. After her family moved out of state when I was eight, we became pen pals, and we continue to keep in close touch via letters, emails, and now text messages. We’ve also managed to get together in person several times over the decades. The last visit was for my wedding, coming on eight years ago. I want to see her. I want to spend time in her company. I want to reminisce and catch up and share and dream. I want to do all of this before it’s “too late”.

I don’t know where the money or the time will come from, since both right now are committed to other things. But…I can plant the seeds and make my intention to do this known.

So I called my travel agent and asked her to keep an eye out for screaming deals on airfare.

And I texted my friend and asked her when would be the best times of year to come for a visit.

I don’t know how or when I’ll do this, it might even have to wait till next year, but I feel encouraged that the intention is now in motion.

The Ah-Hahs: That line about “Maybe I could get ‘creative’ about this one.” I just laughed (with delight) at myself. I started out dreading this Nudge, then found a way to have it help me manifest something I really want to do.

How fun and amazing is that?

 

Nudged: Wear a different hat x4

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Backstory: What makes me feel comfortable, feel good, feel like me? I’ve amassed quite a collection of hats over the years, from travels and gifts and some spontaneous as well as thoughtful purchases. Yet I’ve noticed recently that I gravitate to the same few over and over. So this Nudge is part closet purging and part getting clear on what feels right for me.

What Happened:

Monday: Worked from home all day. Wasn’t feeling it.

Tuesday: Well, this was fun. I quickly purged three hats:

(1) The old hat I used to wear running that is so badly stained (i.e., disgusting) that I wouldn’t dare wear it in public again. “Yet,” my inner debater said, “it is a great lightweight hat for running.” “Yet,” said my inner reasonable woman, “it’s been ages since you went running. If you get back into it, you can buy a clean new hat to motivate yourself.” Into the trash!

(2) A heavyweight winter baseball cap that was a fun gift, but that has always been uncomfortable. The cardboard bill has never relaxed, and it’s given me a headache every time I’ve worn it. Donate!

(3) Two hats that look far too much like a certain politically charged hat (one that was recently deemed a symbol of hate—yikes!). I have felt uncomfortable wearing both in public because I didn’t want to be mistaken for taking sides. I tried them on again, and one, actually, is not that comfortable. Donate! The other, actually, feels really good on, and maybe it doesn’t look that much like the offensive hat. I chose to wear it while running errands, to see if it got a reaction and how I felt in it. No big deal. This might be a keeper.

Wednesday: Had a client event tonight. My hair looked ah-mazing!, so didn’t want to smoosh it into hat head.

Thursday: Second-day hair looked not quite so amazing. Good thing it’s hat Nudging week! Pulled out one of my favorites, one that doesn’t get worn nearly enough. Paired it with a nice turtleneck, cool shades, lovely earrings, and the “good” trenchcoat (that also doesn’t get taken out enough). I felt so chic!

Me so chic!

Friday: Today I took a sick day. My body said, “Rest,” and for once I listened. Even though I knew I wouldn’t be going out, I took a few minutes to pull the remaining hats from my closet—winter, spring, summer, fall—and try all them on. So cute! I am already thinking about outfits I might put together when the sun comes out.

The last hat I pulled on was a cap a dear friend knitted for me. Baby soft, in my favorite color (lime green), it was like receiving a hug from her. So I left it on and will wear it while I curl up with tea and a good book and take care of myself today.

Ah-Hahs: When I wear something special—a jaunty hat, the “good” jewelry—I feel better. This week’s Nudge reaffirmed how being nice to myself and dressing well impacts everything I do during the day. It’s pretty simple.

I also had a lot of fun feeling chic. This reminded me of when I stopped in a local café several years ago for a coffee and pastry and couldn’t help but notice a woman seated a few tables away. She wasn’t supermodel gorgeous, she wasn’t famous; she’d possibly be described as “a woman of a certain age.” But she had something, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Sitting with just lovely posture, she sipped her cappuccino, nibbled her pastry, and read the daily paper. She was wearing dark jeans, a nice cotton blouse, a navy blazer with gold buttons, and gold pumps. Gold shoes! Fabulous!

Feeling somewhat invisible in my sloppy dog-park attire (tragic, but real), I snuck a photo of her with my phone. I printed it out and tacked it to a board in my office for inspiration because I wanted to be like her. That photo stayed on my board for several years until I accepted I can be like her. Or rather, I am my best me.

Go be your best you. ♥

 

Nudged: Compliment a stranger

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Backstory: I suppose this one is along the lines of doing a “Fairy Deed” (read the post on that successful Nudge from last year here), but this is not anonymous. This is up close and personal. This is Putting Myself Out There.

Here we go. 🙂

What Happened: Right away I started looking for opportunities. Perhaps I could find something nice to say about a guest at work on Sunday, but we were busy, and the afternoon flew by and I forgot. Monday morning I got up before the sun to take my car in for service, but I was too tired (see worked all day Sunday) and I forgot.

Monday afternoon, after I picked up my car, I made a quick run to the grocery store for a few items. I don’t know what went haywire, but I got stuck in a line behind two other people while we waited for the person ahead of us to get a price checked or something. The tension grew. People behind me grumbled then switched to different lines. I thought about doing the same, but didn’t have it in me to pull all my stuff off the conveyor belt and schlep it over to the next cashier. (And we all know that as soon as you do that, their register crashes while your old line suddenly hits warp speed).

I stuck it out and opened my eyes. The two people in front of me had their kids with them, kids who looked to be the age of elementary school students. And these two amazing small humans were thoroughly enjoying this opportunity to get acquainted. They asked each other questions, they teased, they giggled. I caught myself smiling. So instead of stressing over being stuck, I focused on the joy in front of me.

When it became clear the line was going to move again, I leaned in toward their parents and said, “You both have adorable children.” I smiled, they smiled. They said, “Ah, thank you!” I left the store with a bag full of groceries and a heart full of warm fuzzies.

Ah-Hahs: On the drive home from the market I thought about how easy it was to shift my attitude from being annoyed to being entertained. That’s all it really took: a shift on my part. And I feel I could do this in just about any situation, so I hope now that I’m aware of it, I will remember to do it more often.

It also struck me that this change in attitude can be contagious. Mid-week I caught up with my dad, who is in his mid-80s and walks with a cane. He told me how people of all generations, colors, and genders are so kind to him, so helpful. They hold doors open and wait patiently while he goes through, and they tell him “Take your time” as he struggles to put back a grocery cart. At first he was surprised to be the recipient of all this good treatment, but now he sees the ripple effects and it inspires him to initiate.

It’s so easy to be kind. Let’s look for opportunities to do it more often.