Category Archives: Completed Nudge

Nudged: Throw something out

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Backstory: This could be anything. A “thing”, a memento that no longer holds any sentiment, trash, something I’ve outgrown. Or it could be an attitude or a bad habit or a dream that no longer calls to me. Hmmmm….

What Happened: Tuesday morning, as I sorted through items in my to do folder, I came across the instructions for our “new” CD player (see “Nudged: Listen to two old CDs” from, well, a while ago). I had already figured out how to run the thing just by poking around, but it’s always a good idea to read up on all the functions. Except I couldn’t do that. Why? Because the instructions brochure I had saved to read was all in Spanish. Brilliant. Quick toss that one!

What else in this office/this house/this brain is taking up space, nagging me to do? What really needs to get done, what really matters? Or better yet, what do I want to do that is being put off or blocked because I’m so busy dealing with unnecessary stuff?

The next couple of days I thought about this intermittently as I faced down a huge deadline on a client job. I was exhausted, mentally, physically, and spiritually, and I started think about the feelings and judgments I might throw away: feeling stuck, feeling underappreciated, feeling stressed, feeling tired of working so hard for what often feels like so little return. I delivered the job Thursday afternoon (ahead of the deadline, thank you very much) and allowed myself a brief respite to recover. (Ha. What I wanted to do was crawl into bed with a bottle of wine and cry, but I had things to do.) Friday morning I got back to work on the next set of deliverables.

Friday afternoon, during a break and after I received a “thank you, but we’re going in a different direction” rejection letter on a project that I really really wanted, I started looking around again at what I could get rid of. Let me see, what is “dead” around here? There’s the houseplant I’d tried to resuscitate by placing it in a sunny spot on our front steps (hello, death blocking the entry to our home!)…into the trash. The table center bouquet that had been so beautiful a week ago but now smelled like rot…buh-bye. This morning I pulled out several long-dead lavender plants and planted their healthy replacements..hello, beautiful!

Ah-Hahs: Will this make a difference? We’ll see. But it felt good to throw out the dead and make room for the new, both inside me and in the world around me.

52+: When Nudging pays off

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There’s this local craft spirits distillery I’ve been curious about for a couple of years. When a friend introduced me to their gin, in particular, I was surprised by how much I liked it. I wanted to learn more. I picked up a book about the history of gin. I tried flights at bars and experimented with cocktails at home.

Then about eight months ago, I nudged myself and coordinated a group of friends to go for a tour and tasting. It was fantastic. The whole time we were there I kept thinking, “It would be really fun to work here.”

So I nudged myself again and called them. Turns out they were hiring for the tasting room team, so I applied. And then I interviewed, went through intense training, was tested extensively, and got hired. I’m now there every Sunday alongside wonderful colleagues. I welcome guests from all over the world, tell stories, and learn new things.

I know: Wow!

This isn’t replacing my day job; it’s actually on top of all the other things I do. Friends have suggested I’ll one day write a book about gin, or start distilling my own in the bathtub. (Never say never!) I don’t know. I don’t know who I might meet or where it might lead. The future is uncertain, of course, so for now I’m just having fun. (And getting paid a bit while doing it.)

I have been meaning to share this with the 52Nudges community for ages, but there was part of me that wanted to make sure the job would “stick” before I went public. That sounds silly, now, but I was uneasy. Would they like me? Would I screw up? Would I burn out?

So far so good.  🙂

I share this with you now because I realize all of this came about because I opened myself up to opportunities and I nudged myself to:

  • Plan a fun outing with friends
  • Do something that scares me
  • Take a risk
  • Challenge my intellect and learn something new
  • Pursue a passion

If I wrapped up this whole 52Nudges project right now, I’d consider it a win. However, this experience inspires me to keep going. What might the next Nudge reveal? I am excited to discover the possibilities.

How will you nudge yourself this week? Is there something on the edge of your dreams you want to try? Please hear this from me: Go for it. ♥

Nudged: Walk a new street

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Backstory: I’d forgotten about this one—how fun! I think the idea for this Nudge may have come to me when I checked out a new-to-me bookstore several months ago, when I ended up in a new-to-me neighborhood. Even though I live in a smallish city (San Francisco is roughly 47 square miles; for comparison, Los Angeles is 302 square miles), there is so much here I have yet to explore. Weather permitting, here is my chance to do just that.

What Happened: My city is home to several really cool staircases. Some are elaborately painted. Some offer incredible views or glimpses into “secret” gardens. For this adventure, I chose something closer to home: a staircase that I’ve driven past probably once a week for the last 10 years.

Early one morning this week, I and my loyal sidekick Louie hopped in the car and drove five short minutes to the base. We huffed and puffed up the steps, then recuperated by wandering one of the side streets. Back down, then right back up, followed by a trip down a different street, where we checked out gardens and got glimpses into interesting home decors. Down again, with a break through a different street and oohs and ahhs over interesting architectural details. Then one final climb and descent before we got back in the car and headed home.

As I look at this photo, the angle doesn’t look all that intense. But I’m here to tell ya, our butts were sore! 🙂

The Ah-Hahs: I often think “I don’t have time” to do things like this. But I do. Re-read that line about “five short minutes” away from home. Geez. And not only did I get a great workout, I changed up my usual gym routine, I got some fresh air, I got in the dog’s exercise (which is typically a separate workout from my own), and it felt a bit like going to a museum (checking out the different homes and gardens and getting inspired about what I might do with my own).

What did you discover this week?

Nudged: Find my mojo

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Backstory: This Nudge didn’t come from the bowl. This is one I dropped in because I’m struggling today. Maybe it’s the post-holidays blues. Maybe it’s the cold and gloominess of the season. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a real affliction, in case you didn’t know. Maybe it’s the ongoing frustration of not having a clear path, a clear purpose.

I’m not sure what’s up (or down) with me right now, but I feel the need to find something to get me up in the mornings. Something other than piles of laundry that need to be addressed or bills that need to be paid. I am dragging through my days, so much so that yesterday, as I lay in bed dreading my day (and it was a Saturday!), I had a small fantasy about pulling everything off the top of my desk and burning it in the fireplace. Yes, I know that wouldn’t really solve any problems—likely make some worse—but the idea of having a clean start is appealing.

Where is my magic? What happened to my mojo? I need to find it and put it back to work.

P.S. I did check in with myself and know it isn’t chronic depression, lack of sleep, or illness causing my malaise. If your blue mood is lasting longer than is okay, please schedule a checkup with your doctor or reach out to someone for help. xo

What Happened: I started by looking up the definition of “mojo”, and this is some of what I found:

“a quality or some ability that brings good luck or helps you be good at something”

“personal confidence and charisma”

“self-confidence, self-assuredness”

“belief in one’s self”

“a good luck charm to bolster confidence”

“the ability to bounce back from a debilitating trauma or negative attitude”

“magical power”

(Sources: Urban Dictionary, Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary)

This helped me clarify that I am not looking for a thing—a charm or amulet—that will provide me with power, I’m looking for actions that will rekindle the magical power I have inside me, a power that seems to have gone temporarily dormant.

Over the week I set aside some quiet time to think about what makes me feel good, makes me feel energized and calm and happy and me. Here are some of the things that came up:

  • pulling myself together (if I dress better, I feel better)
  • knowing there’s money in the bank (catching up and staying current with accounting)
  • clearing space in my office (and subsequently clearing my head)
  • writing personal letters to family and friends (and, as a result, reading their replies)
  • doing something crafty (on my to do list is sewing cheery curtains for the kitchen and pulling out the cross-stitching box)
  • cooking and baking
  • playing with Thor (my darling husband), especially when we do slightly crazy touristy things
  • a tidy house
  • talking walks (for exercise and meditation)
  • get-togethers with friends (especially one-on-one or in small, intimate groups)
  • watching a really great movie
  • getting lost in a really great book

I then took one step, sort of a new year’s thing, but really exactly the Nudge I needed this week: I cracked open a new notebook and started a gratitude journal. I know this to be such a great tool, but haven’t used it for a while. Now is the perfect time to remind myself—with just three items a day—of how much I have to be thankful for, even on those days when it feels like a stretch. A few of the items on this week’s page:

  • cozy new PJs
  • the trusty, hard-working space heater in my office
  • Thor, my funny, affectionate, appreciative, generous life partner
  • good dark chocolate
  • my loyal Louie (the dog)
  • fresh raspberries
  • the fabulous women of my book club
  • this whole crazy 52Nudges adventure

Ah-Hahs: You know what those actions on my list above are, right? Nudges. I wrote a bunch on strips of paper and added them to the bowl. I believe taking these small steps over time will help me find my mojo and continue to nurture it.

P.S. Just before the Christmas, a friend shared a list of “20 Ways to Be Kind (without spending a dime)”, ideas of actions that could be given instead of purchased things. Take a look and see if any of these inspire you for new additions to your Nudges:

  1. send a handwritten note
  2. recreate a special day
  3. listen without distractions
  4. include someone new
  5. smile more
  6. look for common ground
  7. assume the best in everyone
  8. share your prayers (If someone asks for prayer support, respond with a text or note what you said in your actual prayer.)
  9. affirm someone
  10. apologize early and often
  11. be clear (but polite)
  12. be kind to yourself
  13. lend a hand
  14. pay it forward…for free!
  15. offer to babysit
  16. donate used clothing
  17. curb the road rage
  18. give your time
  19. let people know they matter (Learn the name of the guy who makes your coffee, the waiter at your favorite restaurant, the crossing guard.)
  20. share the wisdom you’ve learned

Nudged: Work two hours outside of the office

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Backstory: This is about shaking things up. Getting out of the routine (aka rut). Nudging myself, literally, out of the nest of my own making.

I work from an office in our home. I love doing this, but I have to be hyper-aware of the toll isolation takes on me. In previous years, I made a point of going out to lunch once a week with a client to make sure I had human contact. It’s a little harder to do now because most of my clients are remote. (One of my all-time favorite clients lives in Detroit.) I spend all day, every day, on a computer, communicating with friends, family, and clients through emails and text messages. When I start talking with my Head of Security (Louie, the dog) and expecting him to answer, I know I have to get out.

Maybe I’ll take my laptop to a coffeehouse. Maybe I’ll take a folder and review it in the park (sitting in my car, if the weather is too chilly). Maybe this is the week I check out the other nearby library branch, to see if they have a cool workspace.

What Happened: I’m writing this from a coffeehouse down the street. I got out, I walked here. I fired up my laptop and was immediately annoyed by the loud music. “I’ll never get anything done here!!!” I lamented—silently, of course. And then I started working and tuned everything out. I sipped a delish mocha, I reviewed some notes for a project, I did some research for an upcoming interview.

You know what was really nice? I could only work on the three things I brought with me. When I’m home, I’m easily distracted by the phones, the pinging emails and text messages, the dog, the stack of files that need to be filed, the to do lists on my desk and white board and desk top. Here it’s just me, my laptop, and my thoughts.

The Ah-Ha: That bit about No Distractions. Among the three projects I brought with me is something I’ve been putting on the backburner while other tasks took priority. Here I have no choice but to focus on this one thing. Hmmm. There’s something here that needs further examination.

Nudged: Visit Michael’s; wander and spend just $10

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Backstory: I am glee-ful having drawn this Nudge today! Michael’s stores are those big warehouses filled with art and crafts supplies, frames, fun home decorations, and just about everything you need to inspire creativity. I am pumped! Will I pick up paints, stickers, marked-down holiday decorations? Fun! The biggest challenge may be keeping to the $10 limit.

What Happened: I couldn’t wait, so I popped into Michael’s early afternoon on Sunday. Everywhere I looked I found goodies, from artificial flowers I could turn into wreaths and pretty papers on which I could write letters to far-flung friends, to an array of accouterments for baking and cake/cookie decorating. Danger zone! I wandered every aisle in search of creative inspiration and the thing that my whole body said, “I want that!”

A few of the items were over my budget (which I was tempted to blow a couple of times), but I stuck to the confines of the Nudge. Finally I picked up two rolls of pretty ribbon for gift-wrapping—and put one back. I snagged a mold for making pineapple-shaped ice cubes for a friend who is the ultimate hostess (pineapples are a symbol of hospitality) and a sheet of super-cute ladybug stickers for another friend (it has to do with the line Diane Lane says in the movie Under the Tuscan Sun: “Ladybugs, Katherine…lots and lots of ladybugs”). I kept a tally in my head and figured the coupon I had would allow one more small item, so I added some cute gift tags.

My total purchase after discounts and coupon: $10.70. Score!

Ah-Hah: I was really pleased with myself when I left the store. But Monday morning, as I reexamined my modest haul, I noticed a trend. Did you see it?

Every item I purchased is for someone else.

Now, this isn’t all bad. I do love finding “perfect” gifts for friends and I love taking the time to create a beautifully wrapped package. But did I really not find one thing I wanted for myself?

Apparently not.

Actually, the more I thought about it, I realized my motivation was less about picking up something I was excited about and more about how would I fulfill the spending $10 part of the Nudge.

Interesting.

I was tempted to keep for myself the two items I’d purchased as gifts. Sure, I could use both, but then I imagined my friends’ delight upon receiving them, and tucked them away for the next birthday.

I thought back over my wanderings, trying to remember what had caught my eye. Candles. Stickers. Seasonal decorations. Beautiful fake flowers that look quite real. All those cookie cutters and cake-decorating kits.

I’m thinking I may go back in a couple of weeks and take another look. And maybe I’ll return a couple of weeks after that. But instead of going with the intention of spending a certain amount, I think I’ll wait until I see something that I really want, and then buy it for myself.

For those of you who celebrate: I wish you a Happy Kwanzaa! May Light, Happiness, and Peace be yours in the new year.

Nudged: Purchase a new nail polish color

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Backstory: I have a small confession. One of my “crazy” dream jobs is to be the person who creates the names on nail polishes. Just imagine: I’d get to research trends, expense mani-pedis, create fun puns all day long—and get paid for it! I’m not sure how to go about putting myself in the running for open positions (Hello, Sally Hansen!), but for now I can spice things up with a hot new color. 🙂

What Happened: While waiting for a prescription to be filled on Monday, I wandered the nail polish aisle. Naturally I was drawn to the peaches and corals, and this season, the reds, but I already have an adequate selection of those in my little basket at home. So I decided to go a different route. Instead of shopping for a color, I shopped for a name, for something I want to live up to. There is one called “Fearless” (perfect!), but it was too similar to reds already in my collection, so I passed.

Alas, I didn’t fall in love with anything I saw in that first shopping excursion. So late Tuesday morning I took myself out for a break from work and walked to another neighborhood drug store. I went back and forth down the aisle, considering names and colors and prices. Did I really want to spend $9 on one bottle? Not really. Did I want to risk spending under $2 on a cheap brand? Not really. I finally narrowed my selection to two options: “Good as Blue” and “Rags to Riches”. Both are outside of my normal palette, and I thought both could be fun to manifest in the days ahead. Which one? I liked the blue color better but the purple name better. Lucky for me, they were on sale, and I got two for about the price of one. Score!

I put the Good for Blue on my nails after lunch. It’s fabulous. It’s out there. I imagine my grandmother, who only wore clear and pale pinks that I can recall, rolling her eyes. Does this make me look younger and hipper, or older and pathetic? I don’t care!

Late Wednesday, just before shutting down for the day, I checked out the Sally Hansen website and found these quotes:

“You can do something about anything. You can and must improve constantly.” – Sally Hansen, Los Angeles Times, 1934

“Beauty to a woman in power. Power to believe in herself.” – Sally, Los Angeles Times, 1934

Did you know the company was founded in 1946 by Sally herself? It isn’t just a brand name. She launched with just two nail products, and today over 300 shades are distributed in over 55 countries. Way to go, Sally!

Ah-Hahs: I spent quite a bit of time exploring the Sally Hansen website and learned this on the About page:

“In a time when women ran households not companies, Sally defied husbands, parents, and society in general, to create the life and beauty she wanted for herself, by herself.”

What a fascinating woman! She and Estee Lauder and Helena Rubenstein (also real people, not just brand names) were pioneers, trail-blazers, and role models.

I encourage you to read Sally’s full story here and think about how she can inspire you. For me, in the moment, I decided to “go for it.” I couldn’t find a link to job listings or any kind of Careers page on the site, so I emailed them through the general Contact page. Maybe they hire freelancers. Maybe their creative staff works out of San Francisco and they’re looking for someone just like me. Maybe they will ignore me altogether and I’ll never hear back. What matters most to me, though, is that I got up the courage to ask.

I’m opening my own doors, thank you very much. And thank you, Ms. Hansen (Can I call you Sally?) for inspiring me.

Nudged: Create a vision board for one goal

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Backstory: Oooo, this is a good one! It’s creative, it gets me manifesting, it’s fun!

The idea is to pick one of my goals or dreams—any one—and create something that represents to me what it would feel like to have it be my reality. It is putting the Law of Attraction to work for me.

In the past I’ve clipped images from magazines and pasted them onto a poster board in a collage. (If you’re more artistically gifted than I am, you might draw or paint yours.) The resulting vision board is then placed where I will see it every day.

Got my scissors, got my glue stick…let’s do this!

What Happened: Total bust. Utter defeat. Epic failure!

My pathetically empty vision board

I stared at this Nudge all week and couldn’t do it. First, I couldn’t decide on which goal or dream to manifest. So many, and none jumped out as The Big One I wanted to pursue. Second, I didn’t want to spend money on buying a stack of magazines to cut up, and I couldn’t pull from on any stack of old magazines because I’ve successfully decluttered them all. (So maybe there is one drawback to decluttering.) Or maybe I am just feeling burned out this week.

What’s a gal to do?

Get up. Brush myself off. Take a few deep breaths. Regroup.

In a few hours I’m going to draw a fresh new Nudge from my little bowl and dive into it with renewed courage and conviction.

Meanwhile, I’ve written “Create a vision board for one goal” on a new strip of paper and tossed it back into the mix. (If I draw it later today, I’ll just have to go with it, right?)

How did you do? Were you inspired to create something wild for your vision board? Did you manifest something from it? I’d love to hear about it.

The Ah-Hah: See “Get up. Brush myself off. Take a few breaths. Regroup.” Would add “And repeat.”

Or…maybe I need to hang my blank board somewhere, letting it represent my openness to something I can’t yet envision for myself. Hmmm…interesting.

Nudged: Do something that scares me

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Backstory: I was just thinking about this Nudge. I knew it was on the list, and as my collection in the bowl dwindles, I knew it had to pop up soon.

So here it is. What might I do this week? What scares me? Maybe this is the week I finally…

  • schedule my annual mammogram (the last one resulted in surgery—I’m fine, by the way—so dreading this, though I know it’s necessary).
  • track down and contact the holders of the copyright on some song lyrics I’d like to use in a book I’m writing (worst case scenario: they could say no—which would completely foul things up for me).
  • trust my gut and tell a needy, demanding, and annoying potential client that I really do NOT want to work with her (despite needing the income).
  • say “Oh, hell no!” to everyone else who wants free work/favors/my time/my energy and turn my full focus to work that truly makes me happy, that gives me energy, that gives me joy.
  • decide where I want my ashes to be scattered.

What scares you (and what are you going to do about it)? Good luck!

What Happened: You know a good way to get over fear? Confront it every day. I walked into this week thinking I’d do one thing, but then decided it would be a good exercise for me to keep pushing, to keep nudging.

  • Monday morning, following a rather bizarre phone interview, I “quit” a potential client who I felt was not a good fit for me. (Not only did I remove myself from what I sensed would be a difficult working relationship, I believe I opened a way for something better to come to me.)
  • That afternoon I pitched an idea to a website I’d love to contribute to. (Hope I cracked open a door to new opportunities.)
  • Tuesday morning I decided where I want my ashes scattered. (We’ve been working on our estate plans, talk about scary.)
  • Shortly after I sent the above info off to our attorney, I scheduled my mammogram.

Early Wednesday morning, I learned that “Do not be afraid” appears in the Bible 365 times. One for every day of the year. I think, perhaps, this is something we’re supposed to take to heart. Just do it!

As the week progressed, I thought about some of the work I’ve turned down this year. Oftentimes the reason has been scheduling (I can only do so much in the hours of the day), but this year I’ve also gotten more adept at identifying when personalities and work styles don’t click. It’s a tough call. I’ve certainly done my share of sucking it up for the paycheck to work with difficult people (bullies, control freaks, and, let’s be honest, idiots), but I’ve started to identify and acknowledge the deeper costs to me. So not worth it.

At the same time, I’ve been thinking a lot about the types of people and businesses I’d love to work with more, and this week, one nearby company came to mind. I’ve been impressed with their mailers, emails, website, mission, values, and services. Every time I receive a promotion from them, I think, “Wouldn’t it be great…?”

So I took this one step further and checked out current job listings. Sure enough, they had one that fit my skills and experiences, and I applied.

Turned out they’d already hired someone, but instead of a standard form rejection letter, I got a personal reply asking, “Would you be interested in doing some freelance work for us?” Heck, yes!

Ah-Hahs: As much as I think I could have been a brilliant fit for the staff position, I am not disappointed. I feel like I am getting closer to what I am meant to be doing. After all the closed doors I’ve walked past this year (sometimes doors I’ve closed myself), I trust that the door that opens will reveal something that is right for me.

I am so darn proud of myself for trusting my gut, following my intuition, pushing through fears, and taking chances.

And that, my friends, is a successful Nudge.

 

Nudged: Clear off dresser top; end of week, redo

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Backstory: It’s not the worst hot spot in the house, but as I take in what’s there—what has been sitting there for years—I’m ashamed. Photos of cute toddlers (who are now teenagers with driver’s licenses), old CDs that have lost their cases (can’t recall the last time I listened to them), favorite items of jewelry that need repair (and so have been unworn and unappreciated), Mardi Gras beads…Mardi Gras beads? Really?

 

Before.

What Happened: After pulling everything off and setting it aside in a box for later review, I gave the mirror a good Windex shine and wiped off the layer of dust that had accumulated. I was going to polish the antique wood, but discovered we were out of polish. I wanted to give this beautiful piece of furniture, which has been with me since elementary school, some love, so lemony polish was added to the grocery list, and midweek it got its “massage”.

During.

Several times during the week I caught myself thinking, “I’ll just set this laundry/book/mug/clipping/to do list here for a minute.” But having the dresser top completely empty caused me to stop and do otherwise, which usually meant putting the item in its own place. (Ah-hah.) The practice also caused me to be more aware of the other hot spots in our home: the dining room table continues to be the catch-all, the spare table in the kitchen continues to “temporarily” house many items that don’t fit in our limited storage space.

By coincidence (or not), I talked to two friends who have been more aggressively clearing out clutter after reading the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo. They look at each item and ask themselves, “Does this bring me joy?” If not, out it goes. One friend, who is further along in the process, told me she no longer has any knickknacks, no longer has anything to dust. Now that’s appealing! She realized what gives her true joy is spending time with friends, being outside with her dogs, going on hikes. So that’s how she now spends her time. I find that a little scary (giving up my stuff) and very intriguing.

What did I discover brought me joy? A crystal bowl with a few flowers floating it in. That’s it! Simple, beautiful. And no junk around it to distract me

Will I keep it this way? I still have the box of stuff off to the side because I don’t yet know what to do with it. Perhaps a couple of family photos will make their way back, and the jewelry needs to go somewhere (other than a cardboard box on the floor). We’ll see.

The Ah-Hah: I look at the top of my dresser every day, several times a day, and on some conscious or unconscious level it makes an impression: This is a mess. You are a mess. Add this to your to do list. Pull yourself together!

I realize declutting nudges have appeared several times over the past months, which sometimes feels annoying to me (and maybe to you, too). But I have come to believe it’s more than just throwing out old stuff. In the process I’m clearing space to allow more light, joy, and creativity into my life. I’m uncovering underused treasures while acknowledging other items that have served their purposes and can now go delight someone else. I’m making way for calm and peace. And so I keep at it.

I’d love to hear how you’re doing with all this. You already know I’m a big fan of the FlyLady (a free site where you are lovingly encouraged to clear all sorts of clutter from your life), and I’m curious about the tidying-up book mentioned above.

What are you doing? How are you doing? What are you discovering about yourself in the process? I hope you’ll share.