Category Archives: mind/body/spirit

Nudged: Have a cup of coffee/glass of wine on the front porch

Backstory: Many years ago, upon returning home from a vacation in France, I thought about what had been so special about our experiences–specifically, what were some practices or rituals I could continue back at home. One that had a huge impact was how we eased into dinnertime.

For several weeks after that trip, instead of my usual dash from office to kitchen at 6:00 pm (or 7 or 8), I made a point of slowing down, breathing, pouring something lovely (wine or Pellegrino with a slice of lime), then sipping that while nibbling a few olives or cubes of delicious and aromatic cheese. I’d like to resume this practice and make it a habit.

Maybe I’ll take in a sunset, or maybe I’ll get up with the sun. I plan to sit on our front porch; you might step into your backyard or ease into a chair with a lovely view. Whatever the circumstances, let’s be intentional about taking a few minutes to rest and reset ourselves.

What Happened: Inspired, I got up early one morning and sat in the quiet. Birdsong, clear skies, a steaming cup of tea (it’s what I was in the mood for), and Louie by my side. What a beautiful way to start the day.

The Ah-Hahs: No surprises with this Nudge, just reminders of how lovely my front porch is and how good it feels to sit here for a while and enjoy it.

 

52+: Ideas for Self-Care (and possible future Nudges)

I’m always on the lookout for ways to practice Radical Self-Care, so was pleased to stumble upon this article from Real Simple. Check out “8 Simple Ways to Practice Self-Care Every Day” and see if there’s something in here you can do for yourself today or add to your bowl for a future Nudge.

Nudging: Have a cup of coffee/glass of wine on the front porch

Backstory: Many years ago, upon returning home from a vacation in France, I thought about what had been so special about our experiences–specifically, what were some practices or rituals I could continue back at home. One that had a huge impact was how we eased into dinnertime.

For several weeks after that trip, instead of my usual dash from office to kitchen at 6:00 pm (or 7 or 8), I made a point of slowing down, breathing, pouring something lovely (wine or Pellegrino with a slice of lime), then sipping that while nibbling a few olives or cubes of delicious and aromatic cheese. I’d like to resume this practice and make it a habit.

Maybe I’ll take in a sunset, or maybe I’ll get up with the sun. I plan to sit on our front porch; you might step into your backyard or ease into a chair with a lovely view. Whatever the circumstances, let’s be intentional about taking a few minutes to rest and reset ourselves.

 

Nudged: Invite a potential friend out for a “date”

Backstory: Maybe it’s all the isolation from COVID, or just the fact that so many of my closest friends live far away. I need new girlfriends. I need someone with whom I can pick up the phone and be spontaneous. And it takes time to find the right matches and nurture these relationships.

But it feels like dating (ugh), and it’s scary and hard! So…I’m nudging myself to make the first move.

What Happened: One of my doctors is super fun. We have great chats when I go in for checkups, and I’ve often thought, if we had met under different circumstances, we would be friends.

I don’t have her personal info, so figuring out how to contact her was interesting. I didn’t want to leave a message on her office voicemail or email, something her staff would screen. Instead, I sent her a handwritten note, marked “Personal,” which basically said what I wrote above then said I’d love the opportunity to get better acquainted, maybe over coffee or lunch.

Honestly, this felt a little icky. But I reminded myself of a conversation I had with a friend years ago, a friend who is a pastor. He shared with me how people put him on kind of a pedestal and were intimidated about inviting him to social gatherings. It was like they thought he was too pious to enjoy it or worried he would be judging them. He’s human too, and he was lonely! With him, I was able to separate the person from the profession, and we became good friends, and I followed up by building friendships with other pastors in my life.

So….I hope my doc accepts my invitation.

Ah-hah: As I write this, I haven’t yet had a response to my note, and I’ve been feeling like a nerdy, needy middle schooler: “Why doesn’t she like me?! What’s wrong with me?!” I admit there was a small part of me that hoped for an immediate and enthusiastic YES!

I’m going to have to be okay with the wait. I’m mostly proud of myself for going waaaay outside my comfort zone and making the ask. Because nothing would happen if I didn’t first ask, and it feels empowering to have taken the first steps.

 

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Nudged: Explore a new used-book store, spend just $10

Backstory: Of all things, this Nudge was inspired by a character in a book I read last year (wish I could remember the title). The character would only read books he could purchase for $5 or less. What an interesting challenge! I also love that this Nudge is a way to support a local small business.

Speaking of great small bookshops, I’d like to give a shout-out to Dudley’s in Bend, Oregon. In their cozy space, they offer new and used books, as well as an espresso bar. This fabulous staircase (pictured) leads to the seating area.

What happened: I know this is partly due to COVID shutdowns, but it has been ages since I’ve been able to just browse, and it takes all my willpower to not stock up on books online. But with this Nudge in mind, I was determined to pick up something for less than $10 for myself.

I did a reconnaissance of the space, checking out the various sections—travel, local history, mysteries—before deciding to focus on fiction. Mixing things up, I began perusing the shelves at the end of the alphabet. At first it was fun to see titles of books I’ve already read and be reminded of the pleasure they gave me. Then I stumbled upon one that looked familiar. I was pretty sure the title was on my list of recommendations from friends, but I couldn’t remember reading it. I pulled it out, and sure enough, it was something on my To-Read List—and it was only $5. I also found the perfect pick-me-up gift for a friend, a novel by a local author I think she’ll love. And the price was just $5—wahoo!

Can I also add, it felt really good to pay in cash.

 

Ah-Hahs: Stop and enjoy. Not scrolling online, not buying based on reviews, but seeing and holding the actual books. What a tactile, thoughtful treat.

I wasn’t in the shop long, but it was such a pleasant and calming experience that it recalibrated my day. And I didn’t have to spend a fortune. I’m quite pleased by the fact that I got all this for so little.

Nudged: Give myself a home facial

Backstory: This Nudge hits on two themes: self-care and household decluttering. I wish I could go out for a professional facial, but I’m still not comfortable being in enclosed spaces. (Darn COVID.) But that’s no excuse to pass up a chance for some pampering. Besides, I know there’s a treasure trove of potions and creams and stuff hiding in the bottom drawer of my bathroom cabinet. Time to dig something out and put it to use!

Note: Like with all Nudges, you can follow along with mine or do your own thing. Maybe you can splurge for a mani-pedi at your favorite spa—go for it! Maybe you got a fancy gift set of bath bubbles for the holidays—break it out! Treat yourself to something that makes you feel good.

What happened: The directions weren’t specific as to the time—just “Let dry and rinse with warm water”—so I figured I had about 10 minutes. Immediately after I applied the mask and washed the residue off my hands, I started looking for a way to multi-task. I could sort laundry, put the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher, make the bed, check emails, glance at headlines….Whoa.

STOP!

A better choice, I realized, was to sit my butt down and relax for those 10 minutes. Close my eyes, breathe. It was hard, but I did it.

Ah-Hahs: I love how Nudges surprise me, how what I expect to experience goes out the window. I thought this one would be a simple act of self-care. Instead, it was hard for me to do, which was a little disappointing. I did my best, but will admit I was fidgeting and distracted. Which makes me think maybe I need to give myself facials more frequently, for the health of my skin and my soul.

I wish you a happy, healthy, and fun new year! xoKathleen

Nudging: Give myself a home facial

Backstory: This Nudge hits on two themes: self-care and household decluttering. I wish I could go out for a professional facial, but I’m still not comfortable being in enclosed spaces. (Darn COVID.) But that’s no excuse to pass up a chance for some pampering. Besides, I know there’s a treasure trove of potions and creams and stuff hiding in the bottom drawer of my bathroom cabinet. Time to dig something out and put it to use!

Note: Like with all Nudges, you can follow along with mine or do your own thing. Maybe you can splurge for a mani-pedi at your favorite spa—go for it! Maybe you got a fancy gift set of bath bubbles for the holidays—break it out! Treat yourself to something that makes you feel good.

Nudged: Accessorize, Baby!

Backstory: This Nudge was inspired by my need to clean out my closet, and by how much fun I had late in 52Nudges 2.0 when I played dress-up for a week. (Revisit that post here.) I also seriously need to break out of my rut of wearing workout clothes all day long. (Thanks again, COVID.)

I know I feel better when I look better, so this is encouragement to pull out the good jewelry, pretty scarves, and fancy shoes.

What Happened: As soon as I drew this Nudge, I knew exactly where I’d start–with this fabulous “Canadian Mountie’s” hat!

It was a gift from a dear friend, something I never would have thought to buy for myself. I had been thinking I needed a special occasion to wear it, an event where I could be appropriately fashionable (because I saw a photo of Sarah Jessica Parker, as Carrie Bradshaw, wearing something similar on the set of And Just Like That), and then I decided “Today” could be my special occasion.

Naturally, I had to put together a whole ensemble to go with it, so out came a sleek turtleneck, a silky scarf, and understated gold earrings (and my mask, of course). I felt, well, fabulous!

Building on the success of day one, I dug deeper into my closet as the week progressed. I pulled out a favorite pencil skirt, something that hasn’t seen much daylight since I last set foot in an actual office, and discovered it still fit–Huzzah! Another day, before heading out to run errands, I paired skinny jeans (not yoga pants) with a fitted jacket and boots–with actual heels.

The Ah-Hahs: It didn’t take a lot of extra effort to spiff myself up, yet I sure noticed changes. I was more aware of my posture, and I carried myself more upright and walked with what felt like more confidence. I didn’t have that little voice in the back of my mind praying “Please don’t let me run into anyone I know at the market, please….” I didn’t want to be invisible, to just get through the day; I was comfortable being seen.

This was a fun kick-off Nudge, and I’m wondering what else in my closet needs to come out to play.

And our first Nudge of 3.0 is…

And our very first Nudge of 52Nudges 3.0 is…

…Accessorize, Baby! 

Let’s dive right in.

Backstory: This Nudge was inspired by my need to clean out my closet, and by how much fun I had late in 52Nudges 2.0 when I played dress-up for a week. (Revisit that post here.) I also seriously need to break out of my rut of wearing workout clothes all day long. (Thanks again, COVID.)

I know I feel better when I look better, so this is encouragement to pull out the good jewelry, pretty scarves, and fancy shoes.

Am I tired, burned out, or…?

As I prepared for a minor medical procedure (I’m fine, by the way), I scrambled to get all my work done ahead of time so I could take a couple of days off to recover. I finally had an “excuse” to take a break from my 24/7 schedule (because there’s client work + my work + household and family care), and I found myself looking forward to the downtime—to rest, to watch chick flicks, to read a book purely for my own pleasure.

What is wrong with me?! Why do I have to have something happen that lays me flat, that forces me to be still, to finally take some time for myself?

I’ve been recognizing this pattern a lot lately and acknowledging that I am Burned Out. Then this article came out, and I think there’s more to it.

 

“What is High-Functioning Anxiety?” writer Dominique Michelle Astorino asks. It features:

  • Overthinking
  • People-pleasing
  • Inability to slow down
  • Fear of failure
  • Overplanning
  • Poor boundaries

 

What are the symptoms? They include:

  • Irritability
  • Restlessness
  • Worry
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Feeling depleted

Check check check…. Dangit!

All of this supports and motivates my decision to include some Radical Self-Care in my List of upcoming 52Nudges. In addition to adding some pampering (I can’t even remember the last time I treated myself to nice body lotion), I’ll be adding things like “Reevaluate a long-term friendship” and “Say ‘No’ without giving an explanation”.

I welcome your suggestions. What Radical Self-Care practices have you done that worked for you in the past? What are some acts of self-kindness you would like to do (but have been putting off)? Please share with me—with all of us—in Comments.

Need help putting together your List? Check out the 52Nudges Workbook for exercises, tips, and inspiration. You’ll find everything you need to get ready for the 3.0 launch on December 12.

 

 

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