Category Archives: mind/body/spirit

52+: Inspiration from Alexandra

Have you ever wanted to do something really BIG in your life? An experience that changes all your perspectives, an encounter that opens up new possibilities, an adventure that takes you beyond anything you’ve imagined?

Me too.

While I’m focusing on taking smaller steps through the 52Nudges project, my friend Alexandra Epple has taken a huge step–and many steps–forward as she walks 800 km through Spain on the Camino De Santiago in search of her soul’s calling.

Beautiful Alexandra taking a leap of faith.

And I’m following her. Not literally (though maybe someday I’ll make it there), but through her blog and Facebook posts. I invite you to do the same. Maybe trekking the Camino De Santiago isn’t your dream, but I think we’ll all be inspired to find and pursue our own as we follow Alexandra on her amazing Spirit Journey.

 

Nudged: Review the Big To Do List

Backstory: I’m getting ready to re-boot my 52Nudges project in the fall, so I’m looking for new Nudges I want to include. Activities that are fun, that nurture my creativity, that feed my spirit, and that…well…just need to get done. If you have been on this journey with me for a while, you also know these tasks need to be things that can be done within one week, that aren’t expensive, and that make me somewhat uncomfortable, thereby nudging me out of old ruts.

So this week I’m pulling up the Big To Do List, a 4-page, 2-columned, constantly growing document that lives on my desktop. Yikes. I’m going to look at all the items I’ve put down over the past year-plus and see what I want to give some extra attention to.

Over the next couple of weeks I’ll be doing some other exercises to come up with tasks that will go onto my 52Nugdes 2.0 list. I hope you’ll join me in this process as you clarify what you want to put on your list. I’ll be sharing mine, and I hope you’ll share some of yours.

Let’s do this! 🙂

What Happened: Late afternoon Monday, I pulled out an old folder and discovered a to do list from 2013. You know what was on there? A lot of the same darn things that are on my 2019 list: turn my “office” into a “creative space”, lose weight, pay off all the bills, finish editing my book and get it into the hands of readers. GEEZ!

I stayed up till 1:00 am that night, having dug out similar lists from 2015 and 2017, along with scraps of paper where I’d scribbled reminders to myself to add more tasks to the to do list. I did a lot of thinking. Let’s be honest, I did a lot more self-loathing. Have I really made so little progress?

I figure I have two options: (1) Take every list and scrap of paper, run it all through the shredder, and just live my life. (2) Condense all those lists and scraps into one document, prioritize, break down those big goals into smaller steps, and get to work.

Option 1 is very appealing. But I know what I am: A list-maker. A manifestor. A finisher. I derive distinct pleasure from crossing something off the list.

A friend recently introduced me to Growing Gills, a book by Jessica Abel. I’ve been told it’s about helping creative people achieve creative goals, in part, my friend told me, by picking ONE thing to do at a time and finishing it. This makes sense to me. Clearly my current method of trying to do a little bit of everything, every day, is not working. Yes, some little things get done (like the laundry), but overall I feel scattered and frazzled. I have all these other big things (like find my purpose through my work) I want to do in life that stay on the list, that hang over me like a threatening weight, and I feel the need to make progress.

Ah-Hahs: Maybe I’ll take some of those big goals and break them down into smaller steps, steps that could become Nudges. Maybe I’ll work those Nudges into my plans for the coming year and make it possible to feel that I’m making real progress. Hmmm….

Here are some of the Nudge ideas that came from reviewing my to do lists (yes, plural) and from the thinking that happened this week:

  • Plan a picnic (I love picnics, yet this has sat on my list for two summers!)
  • Do something historical (take a historical walking tour in my own city or google a historical event and learn more about it)
  • Pick something old from the Big To Do List and break it down (and add some of those steps to the Nudges bowl)
  • Book a month of walks/hikes (4 weekends) with different friends (helps me meet fitness and social goals)
  • Spend 15 minutes/day cross-stitching
  • Explore 5 blogs and comment
  • Go to a speakeasy for date night
  • Invite the nice neighbors over for wine & cheese (we have good intentions to get better acquainted, we just need to do this)

More ideas coming! I’d love to hear what’s making its way onto your list of Nudges.

 

Nudged: Buy a new houseplant

Backstory: I have no recollection of why I put this on the list. It doesn’t feel dramatic or uncomfortable, other than spending money on things like new houseplants is way down at the bottom of the to do list. We have plenty of plants, and I like having fresh flowers in my office and bedroom especially. Hmmmm…. This one could be a dud.

What Happened: Early in the week, I took a tour around our home and evaluated the plants. It was interesting to me how many of them came with backstories, including several we received as housewarming and hostess gifts from dear friends. I do a pretty decent job of keeping everything alive. But there are no plants in our bathroom, and it seems a pretty obvious spot. Good indirect light, lots of steam. Or may I need to move things around, see if one of the plants would do better in a different spot. Hmmm…

I continued to mull while I ran errands, then was hit with inspiration at the grocery store. Five dollars at Trader Joe’s. I’ve spent more on a large mocha! For five measly dollars, I now have this sweet succulent, with its elegant dark-pink edging, for my bathroom counter.

That’s the space I decided needed some love. Every so often (like when we were expecting company), I’d buy some fresh flowers for that spot, but before this morning, I had a vase with dried flowers there. Now it’s fresh and happy and makes me smile.

The Ah-Hah: Let me be honest: Those dried flowers had been sitting there for at least six months and were covered with dust. Gross. Now I have something live and pretty and low-maintenance (it’s a succulent, so I should be able to keep it alive with minimal effort).

So, nothing earth-shattering learned from this week’s Nudge, other than a reminder to look around my home once in a while and think about how I might treat it like the lady she is. And think about how I spend my money. A $5 mocha is a nice treat once in a while and will make me feel peppy for a few hours. But a pretty plant that will last for months (if not years) feels like a bargain.

Nudging: Buy a new houseplant

Buon giorno! I’m back from a fun and relaxing vacation, hoping to hang on to my calm new perspective for a while and use this clarity to help me move forward discovering and pursuing what most feeds my soul. In the next few weeks I’m going to be revisiting everything Nudging and thinking and planning for a new round of 52 Nudges. I hope you’ll join me! In the meantime, I pulled the following to get me back in the Nudging groove. Here we go!

Backstory: I have no recollection of why I put this on the list. It doesn’t feel dramatic or uncomfortable, other than spending money on things like new houseplants is way down at the bottom of the to do list. We have plenty of plants, and I like having fresh flowers in my office and bedroom especially. Hmmmm…. This one could be a dud.

 

Seeking guest bloggers! Would you be interested in sharing your experience with a Nudge? Or maybe introducing a Nudge of your own, letting us all follow along, then following up with your “What Happened” and “Ah-Hahs”? I’d love to include some new voices in this. Send me a message here and I’ll get back to you with details.

Re-Nudging: Wear red lipstick every day

I’m on vacation–a real, fully unplugged vacation! While I’m out, I’m re-running a couple of favorite Nudges. You might try them again for yourself, read them simply for entertainment, or use them as inspiration to try one of your own new Nudges this week. When I get back, keep an eye on this space for news about a rebooting of 52Nudges in the fall. I’d love to have you join me. And if you haven’t already, sign up to receive the posts in your inbox. Subscribing is FREE. Cheers! — Kathleen

Backstory: I laughed out loud when I unscrolled this one. The idea behind this Nudge is to make me feel powerful, to boost my self-esteem, to embolden myself. Embolden—is that a great word or what? That’s all good, but what made me laugh is I picked this on week when likely the only two other beings I’ll see are my husband and dog. Alright, I’ll have to go to the grocery store one day, and I am scheduled for a hair trim on Friday, but otherwise, this is for me. Ah-hah. This is for me.

What Happened: This one almost derailed my whole 52Nudges project. I was extremely uncomfortable going out in red lipstick, and I did go out for errands and other walks around the neighborhood. Red lipstick isn’t me, and I felt like a fraud. If you look at my closet, it’s filled with pastels and corals and cheery colors of spring. Not fade-into-the-background, but certainly not in-your-face colors. I don’t know what I was expecting to learn from this challenge, but…well, nothing came of it….

The Ah-Hah: …Or maybe something did. Maybe the lesson is recognizing what is right for me. Despite what all the fashion magazines claim, maybe a bold red isn’t what I need to feel bold. Maybe I’m at my boldest and best in a warm coral that says “Hello. This is me.”

 

Re-Nudging: Pre-dinner drinks outside

I’m on vacation–a real, fully unplugged vacation! While I’m out, I’m re-running a couple of favorite Nudges. You might try them again for yourself, read them simply for entertainment, or use them as inspiration to try one of your own new Nudges this week. When I get back, keep an eye on this space for news about a rebooting of 52Nudges in the fall. I’d love to have you join me. And if you haven’t already, sign up to receive the posts in your inbox. Subscribing is FREE. Cheers! — Kathleen

Backstory: I love eating outside: a picnic in the park, dinner under the stars, morning tea on the front porch. When I lived in Southern California, all three meals might be enjoyed at my little bistro table in the front yard, and in the summers I hosted the occasional dinner party under my flowering crepe myrtle tree. Bliss. Now that I live in San Francisco, the colder weather makes this less appealing, and I’ve missed it.

Also, when I’ve traveled in Europe, I’ve appreciated the ritual of transition between working hours and the dinner hour. Some of my favorite meals in France were preceded by a glass of wine, good bread, and bowls of olives and goat cheese, plus light conversation. Too often at home I go straight from the stress at my desk to the scramble of dinner prep, to scarfing down dinner, to collapsing into bed.

There has to be a better way.

What Happened: Naturally, I drew this challenge on a particularly cold and gloomy week, so forget taking in a dazzling sunset. It was also a week when my husband worked some long and late hours. I put it off, hoping circumstances would be more favorable, but at some point I just had to bite the bullet and get it done.

I poured some good wine, opened a can of black olives, and set everything on a pretty silver tray. Bundled up in a thick scarf and down parka, I made my way to the front door. My husband was still at work, so it was just me this time. I sat on the front step, sipped some wine, and…watched the storm clouds go by. When was the last time I watched the clouds? I honestly can’t remember, but easily 10 years ago. How sad is that? I felt myself taking longer and deeper breaths, slipping into almost a meditative state as I released the tensions of a full day of work. I resisted the urge to check text messages, although on another occasion this would be the perfect time for a brief catching-up call with a friend. Or better yet, I could invite a local friend to join me. Just 15 minutes did the trick. After his own very stressful workday, my darling husband was greeted by a glass of wine, a bowl of olives, and, best of all, a calm wife who set the tone for his evening.

The Ah-Hah: I want to do this more regularly. On dark, cold nights, a candle (or several) would be a nice addition to make my porch a cozier refuge. I’d also like to try this in the morning (sans alcohol, of course), to watch the sunrise and begin my day with calm. It’s not a big production, it doesn’t take a lot of time, but I can feel a big positive impact.

Nudged: Learn a sentence/phrase in Italian

Backstory: Omg, there are no coincidences! I laughed out loud when I drew this Nudge, because in just a few days I will be in Italy!

The original idea for the Nudge, however, was wholly impractical. Like when I learned a new sentence/phrase in French (see the Nudge here), the intention was to challenge my brain and have some fun. That the timing sets me up for actually using the phrase is happy-stance. (Happenstance means coincidence, and translations to Italian include caso, coincidenza, and combinazione. I’m thinking I won’t be using any of these in my sentence for this Nudge, but good to know.)

What Happened: I already know “thank you” (grazie) and “I’m sorry/excuse me” (Mi dispiace/Scusami), terms I feel are important to know whenever visiting a foreign country. So the first term I looked up was “Cheers!” I was pretty sure I knew what it was, but not 100%. Cin cin! and Salute! (or more properly, Alla salute!) are the most common, so those got put to use right away.

Naturally I wanted something more challenging, so I brainstormed what I think might be some sentences I’ll need to use on our trip:

Vorrei un bicchiere di prosecco, per favore. (I would like a glass of processo, please.)

Bubbly image by vbosica from Pixabay. Cin cin!

Bellissimo! (Beautiful!)

Oh, è mozzafiato! (Oh, that’s breathtaking!)

Ti amo. (I love you.)

All got sprinkled into conversations this week.

Getting into the spirit, my husband mentioned this week’s Nudge to a friend who grew up in Italy, and he taught us to ask for vino locale (local wine) instead of ordering off the menu. He said each region has its own specialties, its own flavors, and by ordering this way we honor the local cuisine and we might get to taste something special that is only offered to friends and family. How cool is that?!

The Ah-Hahs: Dio mio (omg), this has been so fun. And it has me thinking again about signing up for language classes.

 

As I mentioned in the Nudging portion of this post, I’m heading out on vacation. For the next few weeks, I’ll be running some ol’ Nudges. (Thank you to readers who shared their favorites.) Do the Nudge as if it’s new, do your own, or just read along for the entertainment value. Then keep an eye on this space for news about a Fall 2019 reboot of 52Nudges. Ciao!

Nudging: Learn a sentence/phrase in Italian

Backstory: Omg, there are no coincidences! I laughed out loud when I drew this Nudge, because in just a few days I will be in Italy!

The original idea for the Nudge, however, was wholly impractical. Like when I learned a new sentence/phrase in French (see the Nudge here), the intention was to challenge my brain and have some fun. That the timing sets me up for actually using the phrase is happy-stance. (Happenstance means coincidence, and translations to Italian include caso, coincidenza, and combinazione. I’m thinking I won’t be using any of these in my sentence for this Nudge, but good to know.)

And mentioning my upcoming vacation, this seems like a good time to let you know I’ll be taking a break from Nudging for the next several weeks. I’m going to just BE. No challenges, no tasks. In the meantime, I’m going to run some classic 52Nudges posts, which you may choose to nudge yourself in my absence.

Do keep an eye on this space, as I’m planning to reboot the whole 52Nudges experiment, and I’d love to have you join me.

Nudged: Stash $s in pockets

Backstory: Maybe 25 years ago, a friend introduced me to this idea: Get a stack of dollar bills and “stash” them away in the pockets of coats, purses, hidden spots, etc., so that months later, when I find them again, I’ll be surprised and delighted. (I think it also had something to do with attracting abundance, but that part of it is lost to my memory.)

Imagine this: A couple of seasons from now, you’re heading out to run errands or meet a client or take care of some task that has you all stressed out. You hustle into your jacket, hoping it still fits after the indulges (aka stress eating) of the previous months, grab your purse, grab your keys, double-check to make sure your wallet and cell phone are with you. With a deep breath (aka heavy sigh of the overburdened), you head out the door and stuff your hands into your pockets to avoid the chill that has permeated the air since yesterday. Wait…what’s this? Oh, geez, is it an old to do list? The phone number of someone you were supposed to call ages ago? The long-lost receipt for that item you meant to return? Nope. It’s a crisp dollar bill! Huzzah! Add that to the change jingling at the bottom of your purse, and you can treat yourself to a hot and soothing cuppa tea!

Some might ask if this a true Nudge. Does it push me out of my comfort zone, help me to reveal some great Ah-Hah? Probably not. But it definitely qualifies as fun.

What Happened: Just asking for change in singles made me giggle to myself. Does the cashier think I’m heading for a strip club? Ha!

From the moment I pulled this Nudge, I felt the anticipation. It’s funny, because none of this will come to fruition for a long time. In fact, I hope it takes a long time, because that will make the reveal so much more fun for me.

$10 – or rather, ten single $1 bills.

The first went into the pocket of my fanciest coat, one that doesn’t get taken out of the closet very often. (Hmmm…idea for a future Nudge?) The second went into a random page of one of my all-time favorite books, one I know I’ll re-read in a year or two. For half a second I thought about how it would suck if I decide to donate the coat or book before I discover the hidden treasure, but since it’s only a buck, it wouldn’t be a hard loss. And I enjoyed imagining that savvy second-hand shopper as she discovers the bonus inside.

Bill #3 got tucked into the back of a picture frame. And so on. Throughout this week, I let ideas present themselves to me and hid the bills around the house. And each time I felt…giddy.

Giddy. “Dizzy; lighthearted; silly; joyfully elated,” says Merriam-Webster. Yep. All of the above. All week long I felt this in spurts, and I know I will feel giddy again at least 10 more times as I rediscover the bills.

Ah-Hahs: There are so few good surprises left in life. I remember how much fun I had doing Fairy Deeds for others (see this post), so how fun was this to set myself up for 10 future surprises!

Lately I’ve been working on finding my mojo (see this post) and getting through an especially dark Life Funk. There were times I’ve thought about rebooting with a spa day (couple hundred $) or a session with a professional counselor (couple hundred more $). Instead, I spent (but didn’t really spend) just $10 and succeeded in nudging my spirits up for the week.

 

Dear Reader, Whether you’re new to 52Nudges or have been following along for a while, I would appreciate your feedback. Specifically, I’d like to know if there was (1) a previous Nudge you found was impactful for you and (2) a previous Nudge that you’d like to give another go in the future. Send me a note in comments. Thank you!

 

Nudging & Nudged: Get 8 hrs. of sleep (x5)

Backstory: I Nudged myself to get more sleep a while ago, and it’s something I’d like to do more regularly. So back it went into the bowl for another go ’round.

What Happened: This is the first-ever “Nudging & Nudged” incident. Up till today, I have pulled a new Nudge on Sunday and worked on it through the week. But with this one, this week, I know I will achieve it.

This isn’t because I’m being remarkably disciplined or anything that amazing. It’s simply that I’m sick. With bronchitis. And I’ve been sleeping something like 12 hours a day, so getting in 8 is no big deal.

Sure, I could have put this back in the bowl and chosen another task with which to challenge myself. But you know what, I need a break. My poor overworked body is telling me to STOP, so that’s what I’ll be doing this week.

The Ah-Hahs: I really have gotten better at listening to my body (and my heart and soul) and then acting on what it needs. This being more attuned to myself has been one of the great gifts of this whole 52Nudges experiment.

What is your body telling you it needs this week?

Are you longing for quiet time so you can hear your own thoughts? Are your feet crying out for a little pampering (just in time for Sandals Season)? Is this the week you try giving up sugar? Or is it time to book the vacation/adventure/retreat you’ve been dreaming about forever?

Do it…or don’t. Knowing that your body just needs a break is good too.

I’ll see you back here next Sunday with (I hope) a healthier body and renewed energy for the next Nudge.