Category Archives: mind/body/spirit

52+: “Putting on the Gloves” by Chris Green

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As soon as I heard Chris’s story about how she stepped out of (or into?) her comfort zone, I asked if I could share it with the 52Nudges community. Read on for some “powerful” inspiration. — Kathleen

I am not a risk-taker. Nope nope nope. I stay in my lane, do what I’m told (well, mostly), and am definitely not breaking any laws. But when I was laid-off last fall from my job of 28 years, I decided it was time to light up my inner badass and try some new things. After all, if I was going to have to find a new job, I’d better get used to things that were new, different, and scary.

So I signed up for boxing lessons.

Now, I am not a particularly aggressive person. As the only girl in a family of four boys, I spent much of my childhood watching my brothers pile on each other (thank you, Three Stooges) while I just kept to the side, trying not to get hurt. But as I found through years of playing softball, I realized that I enjoyed the physical feeling of power – throwing the ball in from the outfield, crushing that ball for an extra-base hit. Seeing my body able to do what my personality didn’t always allow gave me a special kind of confidence that I have missed as an adult.

My gym is not a boxing-only gym, where Burgess Meredith would be simultaneously smoking and yelling at me from the corner. Instead it is cozy, well lit, and smells pretty good as far as gyms go. And the class is mostly women! This was a huge relief for me, as I am self-conscious trying new things. Most of the time women welcome and support each other and, sure enough, gym rat Julie welcomed me and helped me feel comfortable and ready to hit.

Photo by walking photographer

The actual boxing is fun! While I work on my technique and footwork, I hit the heavy bag and imagine my frustrations and anxieties crumbling under my gloves – my fear of finding the right job (or, honestly, any job), that annoying thing my husband or kids said the night before, my inability to keep to my diet and lose some of that weight. As Coach Vince gently corrects my feet or my weight distribution, I remind myself that since I can do this, I can tackle other hard things too, and deliver a solid combination that can knock out those things I’m scared of.

It is one helluva workout, and I emerge sweaty, invigorated, and ready to charge into whatever the day puts in front of me.

Turns out that the power doesn’t come from the gloves, it comes from what I put behind it. That knockout punch comes from ME.

 

Nudged: Make a list of cities I want to visit, pick 1 to explore

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Backstory: Back in my single gal days, for years I dreamed about going to Italy. Every time the new Backroads‘ catalogue arrived in the mail, I ripped out the pages describing the walking tour of Tuscany and pinned it to my wall. One day I decided I had wasted too much time dreaming and was ready to do something to make it happen. Almost a full year in advance, I booked the tour and put down a sizeable deposit. Then every spare dollar went into a savings account so, by the time I boarded the plane, everything was covered.

This nudge is in part inspired by the success of that planning and adventuring. Today I can’t kid myself about swinging a big deposit (if you can–go for it!), but I can start visualizing my next trip and motivating myself to make it happen.

Once I’ve made my short list of cities, I might go to the library and pick up history and cook books. I might check out cultural music online. I might add a language app to my phone and start practicing the words and phrases I’ll need to be a respectful traveler (please…excuse me…thank you). Or maybe I’ll put together a list of movies set in that city and begin “seeing” myself there.

What I know for sure is I’ve been bitten by the travel bug and I’m starting to itch. I’m looking forward to exploring where I might go.

What Happened: I started by looking up the “best cities in Portugal to visit” and discovered Lisbon, called the “postcard-picture capital”. OMG, gorgeous! A “sea power”, Portugal is known for its temperate climate, beautiful beaches, fishing industry, and port and madeira wines. Sign me up!

But first I needed to look into Buenos Aires, Argentina. Friends who have visited describe it as the “Paris of South America”, featuring spectacular architecture, delicious foods, and world-class culture. I researched online and discovered it is home to a diverse immigrant population with a multitude of languages and has the largest Jewish population in Latin America. This “sexy” city hosts more than 300 plays every weekend and all sorts of cultural and music festivals (the International Jazz Festival that includes dance classes caught my eye). It also has so many libraries and bookstores (734 bookstores, “more per person than any other city in the world”), it is called the “City of Books”. Sounds like my kind of town!

Buenos Aires is also known for it’s beautiful gardens, including its Japanese Garden, which…wait…. Oh, wow….

The Ah-Hahs: For those of you who have been following 52Nudges for a while, you may recall my trip to Portland, Oregon, a little over a year ago. While there, at the recommendations of friends and family, my husband and I explored the fabulous Japanese Gardens. We were blown away by it. Then at one point we looked at each other and asked, “Don’t we have one of these at home?” Yes. Yes we do, just 15 minutes from our house. (Read the Nudged post here.)

I still have not been there.

So I kind of kicked myself as I worked through and processed this week’s nudge. Right here, right now, I have access to great architecture, world-class museums, food from just about every culture, language schools, cafés set up for sipping while people-watching, gardens and paths for walking, and just about everything else I’m hoping to find through travels beyond my own city’s borders. Why is it that I feel the need to search for things I already have here?

Postcard by RetroMail available on Zazzle.com

And then…and here’s where things get goosebumpy…

Why is it I feel the need to search for things outside of myself when maybe, just maybe, everything I need to feel fulfilled is already within me?

Why do I feel the need to do more, do differently, try, achieve? What if…what if for a while I am just still and allow myself to be fully me?

Like with every nudge, I never know where it’s going to take me. This one really surprised me, and I’m grateful for it. Maybe this was the ultimate nudge I’ve needed all along.

I’m still processing this, and don’t know how it will play out. I’m calm and excited at the same time.

Meanwhile, if this week’s nudge led you to plan the Trip of a Lifetime, I hope you’ll send me a postcard. 🙂

 

 

Nudging: Make a list of cities I want to visit, pick 1 to explore

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Backstory: Back in my single gal days, for years I dreamed about going to Italy. Every time the new Backroads‘ catalogue arrived in the mail, I ripped out the pages describing the walking tour of Tuscany and pinned it to my wall. One day I decided I had wasted too much time dreaming and was ready to do something to make it happen. Almost a full year in advance, I booked the tour and put down a sizeable deposit. Then every spare dollar went into a savings account so, by the time I boarded the plane, everything was covered.

This nudge is in part inspired by the success of that planning and adventuring. Today I can’t kid myself about swinging a big deposit (if you can, go for it!), but I can start visualizing my next trip and motivating myself to make it happen.

Once I’ve made my short list of cities, I might go to the library and pick up history and cook books. I might check out cultural music online. I might add a language app to my phone and start practicing the words and phrases I’ll need to be a respectful traveler (please…excuse me…thank you). Or maybe I’ll put together a list of movies set in that city and begin “seeing” myself there.

What I know for sure is I’ve been bitten by the travel bug and I’m starting to itch. I’m looking forward to exploring where I might go.

52+: “Every day is a great day.”

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It’s true that I created the 52Nudges as a way to push myself into new adventures and experiences. So it’s especially gratifying when I learn that someone else has had success with one of the nudges.

I recently received a blog post from McClairie Group, in which executive coach Charmaine McClairie wrote:

After a holiday visit to Paris, my favorite of all cities, I am renewed and refreshed, and I’ve made an important decision. I’ve decided that every day in 2020 is a great day. Any day that I’m on this side of the earth? Yes, it’s a great day.

It’s a decision prompted by Kathleen Guthrie Woods and her 52Nudges, a wonderful initiative that encourages us to challenge ourselves weekly.

This Nudge in particular resonated with me – a Nudge to reserve time to just be. Be still, be quiet and do nothing. It reminded me of the hours and hours I spent in Rodin’s Garden when I lived in Paris earlier in my career. I would stop there on my way home from work, sit on one of the many park benches and soak in this incredible city. The art. The culture. The people. To sit and just be in one of the most beautiful spots in the world was truly transformational for me.

Thank you, Kathleen, for reminding me of the importance of sitting quietly and doing nothing – even in Paris.

Charmaine McClairie enjoying Rodin’s Garden in Paris.

I have a huge smile on my face as I read this, and I am inspired to greet each new day as a great day. Thank you, Charmaine!

P.S. If you’re ready to nudge your career to the next level (or up several levels), check out McClairie Group’s website for insights, solutions, and upcoming events.

Nudged: Go to the beach

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Backstory: When I was compiling The List for nudges, I thought about skills I want to learn, activities I loved doing as a kid and might enjoy doing again, and all sorts of things that have fed my soul in the past and might still work their magic on me today. This week’s nudge falls into that last category.

I grew up on the beaches of Southern California. I body-surfed, explored tide pools, cooked meals over fire pits, and sometimes just sat and watched and listened. The beach is where I went when I needed to clear my head, rest my body (or sometimes reboot it with a strenuous workout), and refuel my spirit.

I’ve now lived in Northern California for over a decade and I have yet to walk on the beach closest to my home. It’s cold here! It’s windy! It’s not the same!

Lately I’ve felt a longing to get back to the beach. I’m so glad I pulled this nudge this week. It’s time.

What Happened: The moment I stepped off the pavement, I wanted to take off my shoes and scrunch my toes in the sand. Oh, how I have missed that sensation! Sadly, it was too dang cold! I should mention that I was dressed in two layers of thermal shirts, a down parka, scarf, and gloves. In part to stay warm, I kept moving. And I walked and walked, looked and listened, and took in “my” beach for 90 minutes.

It was wonderful.

Ocean Beach, San Francisco, California

I breathed more deeply than I have in ages, and noticed when I got home that my sinuses were clear after fighting a tenacious head cold for weeks. I noticed my mind was quiet and focused, my body relaxed, my legs fatigued, but in a satisfying way. I felt like I’d had a complete re-set.

The Ah-Hahs: Is it the briny air? The ions? The crunch of the sand under my feet? The “white” noise of the surf that works its magic on me? Probably all of the above in concert.

Sure, I miss the beaches of my youth, but I’m learning to appreciate the beauty of the beach in my present.

My inaugural walk happened over a lunch break. Totally doable, especially because that beach is just two miles from home. The next morning, I felt a longing to return, but it had to wait due to conference calls and other obligations. But tomorrow, Saturday, Louie the dog and I have a date to go to the nearby dog-friendly beach. I look forward to running around with him in the sand and surf, both of us barefoot. I’ll pack some warm socks for after. 🙂

Nudging: Go to the beach

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Backstory: When I was compiling The List for nudges, I thought about skills I want to learn, activities I loved doing as a kid and might enjoy doing again, and all sorts of things that have fed my soul in the past and might still work their magic on me today. This week’s nudge falls into that last category.

I grew up on the beaches of Southern California. I body-surfed, explored tide pools, cooked meals over fire pits, and sometimes just sat and watched and listened. The beach is where I went when I needed to clear my head, rest my body (or sometimes reboot it with a strenuous workout), and refuel my spirit.

I’ve now lived in Northern California for over a decade and I have yet to walk on the beach closest to my home. It’s cold here! It’s windy! It’s not the same!

Lately I’ve felt a longing to get back to the beach. I’m so glad I pulled this nudge this week. It’s time.

Nudged: Splurge on something for me

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Backstory: When I pulled out this nudge this morning, my first thought was CHOCOLATE CAKE! 🙂 That’s really not what I want for myself, for I know I won’t feel great after a slice (and certainly not after a whole cake).

My original intent for this nudge was to break one of my “rules” and get something that’s way outside of my comfort zone. Something extravagant. Something expensive. (And that’s where I’d be breaking the rule.) But I included in my notes that if finances weren’t up to the challenge (and they’re not), then I would get creative.

So maybe this is the week I give myself a home spa day. Or maybe I buy just one chocolate truffle from the fancy chocolate shop I’ve been meaning to visit and really savor it. Or maybe I see if that beautiful lingerie shop is having a sale and I can find something silky and lovely without blowing all of the grocery money.

The point is to give a special gift to a special person: me.

How might you treat yourself this week?

What Happened: I gave myself a $10 limit. That’s what my budget would allow, and I certainly came up with other “needs” for it, but I felt this was important to do for myself.

So…did I want a thing? Or did I want an experience? Did I want something I’d consume, or something built to last? I considered a bunch of options, and kept coming back to one: I love having fresh flowers in my home. On my nightstand and dresser, on my desk.

Since this was a splurge, I talked myself out of the more practical (and long-lasting) carnations and hydrangeas and went for one of my favorites:

Feminine, elegant, lovely. (And within the budget.)

I smile when I see them.

Nudge accomplished.

The Ah-Hahs: The tricky part for me was having to talk myself out of spending the money on other things we needed. There’s always a bill to be paid or a gift to be purchased or a donation to be made. You know what, every so often it’s good and right to appreciate myself with something beautiful.

Nudging: Splurge on something for me

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Backstory: When I pulled out this nudge this morning, my first thought was CHOCOLATE CAKE! 🙂 That’s really not what I want for myself, for I know I won’t feel great after a slice (and certainly not after a whole cake).

My original intent for this nudge was to break one of my “rules” and get something that’s way outside of my comfort zone. Something extravagant. Something expensive. (And that’s where I’d be breaking the rule.) But I included in my notes that if finances weren’t up to the challenge (and they’re not), then I would get creative.

So maybe this is the week I give myself a home spa day. Or maybe I buy just one chocolate truffle from the fancy chocolate shop I’ve been meaning to visit and really savor it. Or maybe I see if that beautiful lingerie shop is having a sale and I can find something silky and lovely without blowing all of the grocery money.

The point is to give a special gift to a special person: me.

How might you treat yourself this week?

P.S. Hey, Valentine’s Day is this Friday! I hope you do take this opportunity to shower yourself with love and appreciation. xoxo

 

Nudged: Room by room, tidy the house

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Backstory: At my core, I am that woman who starts her day by making her bed. That one simple act clears space in my head and somehow helps me feel that I’ve accomplished at least one small thing.

Meanwhile, I am also that woman who still has Christmas decorations up in her house. In February. Not a lot, but they’re there, mocking me, nagging me to add de-decorating to my massive to do list and “Pull yourself together, woman!”

The idea for this nudge came from FlyLady, whom you’ve heard me talk about before. FLY stands for “Finally Loving Yourself”, and the message is about taking small steps to reclaim our lives, starting with tidying up our homes.

This isn’t crisis cleaning before guests come to stay. This isn’t deep spring cleaning, when you move the furniture and shake out all the rugs and dust and polish every corner and crevice. (I’ve never actually done that, btw. Does anyone?) The plan is to set a timer for a short period–maybe 10 to 20 minutes–and hustle at small tidying tasks. I might take out all the trash and put new bags in the cans. Or I might fold a basket of laundry, put everything away, and move the basket from the side of my bed to the laundry room. Or I might peel the paper snowflakes off the front windows, take down the Christmas wreath, take the Bing Crosby and Nancy Wilson holiday CDs out of the player in my car (for Pete’s sake!), and put everything back in storage.

For more info about how to do this, check out the “Getting Started Tips” at the FLYLady website. And if you’re inspired to do more decluttering in your life, pick up one of her books, Sink Reflections and The CHAOS Cure.

Got your timer? Ready…set…go!

What Happened: I set my timer for 10 minutes and, with “Flight of the Bumblebee” playing in my head, I got to work. In three separate sessions–two yesterday and one today–I put away all the piled-up clean laundry, straightened pillows and throw blankets and picture frames in the living room, cleared all the miscellany off the dining room table and put things where they belonged (like junk mail in the recycling bin), wiped down the bathroom and put out fresh towels, and…put away the last of the Christmas decorations. Hallelujah!

Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay.

The Ah-Hahs: I was astonished at how much I accomplished in just 10 minutes of buzzing around*, and impressed by what a difference just 30 minutes of this ‘n’ that made on my frame of mind. I feel calm. Clear-headed. I do not like an immaculate house, but I am finding that I like a fairly tidy environment. The dent I made this week inspires me to do a bit more–especially in my office and some day in the dumping ground that has taken over the basement–and keep it up.

*I did find, by the way, that racing the clock helped me keep my focus and motivated me to challenge myself to do as much as possible in the time allotted.

Nudging: Room by room, tidy the house

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Backstory: At my core, I am that woman who starts her day by making her bed. That one simple act clears space in my head and somehow helps me feel that I’ve accomplished at least one small thing.

Meanwhile, I am also that woman who still has Christmas decorations up in her house. In February. Not a lot, but they’re there, mocking me, nagging me to add de-decorating to my massive to do list and “Pull yourself together, woman!”

The idea for this nudge came from FlyLady, whom you’ve heard me talk about before. FLY stands for “Finally Loving Yourself”, and the message is about taking small steps to reclaim our lives, starting with tidying up our homes.

This isn’t crisis cleaning before guests come to stay. This isn’t deep spring cleaning, when you move the furniture and shake out all the rugs and dust and polish every corner and crevice. (I’ve never actually done that, btw. Does anyone?) The plan is to set a timer for a short period–maybe 10 to 20 minutes–and hustle at small tidying tasks. I might take out all the trash and put new bags in the cans. Or I might fold a basket of laundry, put everything away, and move the basket from the side of my bed to the laundry room. Or I might peel the paper snowflakes off the front windows, take down the Christmas wreath, take the Bing Crosby and Nancy Wilson holiday CDs out of the player in my car (for Pete’s sake!), and put everything back in storage.

For more info about how to do this, check out the “Getting Started Tips” at the FLYLady website. And if you’re inspired to do more decluttering in your life, pick up one of her books, Sink Reflections and The CHAOS Cure.

Got your timer? Ready…set…go!