Category Archives: passion&play

Nudging: Create a chalk message on front sidewalk

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Backstory: What are some of the things you loved doing as a child? Off the top of my head:

  • Seeing how high I could swing on the swings at the playground.
  • Creating baked goods. (Some experiments didn’t qualify as “good,” but they were still creative and fun).
  • Dancing, both in ballet class and freestyle with my friends.
  • Pretending to be Nancy Drew/Barbie/one of Charlie’s Angels.
  • Getting lost in a good book (Nancy Drew, Little House on the Prairie).
  • Decorating the sidewalk with colored chalk.

Whenever we host a special event, I love to greet our guests with a message. Happy Birthday! Merry Christmas! Welcome! I typically include their names with some simple drawings (hearts, flowers), and when I open my door, I am gifted with big smiles.

There’s no special occasion this week, but I think it will be fun to greet my neighbors with a bit of joy. (And fingers crossed there is no rain!)

I keep a basket of chalks, both the small and big sizes, in a table by the front door. They’re cheap! Find colored chalks at toy stores, crafting stores, and some grocery or drug stores.

Chalk not your thing? Then maybe pull out a sheet of printer paper and draw a sign of greeting to hang in your window or on your front door. Have fun with this!

Nudged: Fix something

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Backstory: Right after I pulled this Nudge from the jar, I scribbled down a list of to dos from off the top of my head: replace the smoke detector in my office, clear the shower drain, mend the collar of my favorite sweater…. Easy things to do, I suppose, so I don’t understand why this list grows and grows as I put things off.

Or maybe this Nudge isn’t about literally fixing a “thing” but about mending a rift, rebuilding a connection, healing a hurt. There’s all sorts of ways we can approach this one. Let’s see what comes up.

What Happened: Monday morning I pulled out my actual to do list (which runs four pages in double columns of nine-point font—ugh) and combined that with the list I came up with on the fly Sunday morning. There are big to dos, like scheduling repair work on my car, and little to dos, including all those “quick ’n’ easy” tasks that pile up. I imagined taking half a day and buzzing around, crossing things off the list, while Rimsky-Korsakov’s “Flight of the Bumblebee” played in the background.

Tuesday our wonderful housekeeper cleared the shower drain, so I got a freebie. Today I faced a big work deadline, so naturally this was the perfect time to distract myself. I set my timer for one hour (to help me stay focused), then grabbed some tools. First I removed the showerhead that has been spraying us at about 50% capacity lately. After soaking it in lime remover didn’t make a difference, I went online for help and found a recipe for 1/3 cup baking soda + 1 cup white vinegar for dissolving deposits. While that soaked, I grabbed the WD40 and oiled all the locks. No more struggling to get into the house! Then I super-glued a piece of art that has been in need of attention for like a year. Check, check, check. Huzzah! I felt like such a super woman and I had fun.

Fun?

Yes, fun.

I feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment when I fix things around the house. I know this is in part because some of these tasks are considered “man’s work”, and dangit, I like knowing I can take care of things myself (thank you very much).

“I am woman. Hear me…wrench something!”

Ah-Hahs: What needs fixing most? My attitude. Sure, dealing with household chores is a pain, but they have to be done. So…why not make a game out of it or turn up the stereo and dance my way through them? Think of all I could accomplish and how much more fun I could inject into my life if I just fix myself a little bit. Hmmm….

Nudged: Draw something to manifest x5

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Backstory: I think my original idea was to use this space in my office—the big white board I have on one wall and look at every day—to visualize something I want in my life. I’m not entirely sure what I meant by “x5”. Could be I wanted to draw a new image each day of the work week, or am I supposed to draw five different images that represent one dream? I’ll figure it out.

Please remember, I am a writer, not an artist, so don’t expect this to be pretty. 🙂 I hope this Nudge will be fun—and fruitful!

What Happened: I brainstormed what I might want to manifest. Breaking my Life into categories, I noted a few things under each. For Work, I want to finish a big personal project (maybe draw images of the final printed version). For Mind/Body, I want to reach that long-sought-after goal weight (I envisioned drawings of the scale with my “magic” number) and get in some replenishing naps. For self-care, I want to be gifted with some really nice PJs, both cozy flannels and something that feels feminine and luxurious.

Really? These are the big “dreams” I want to manifest for myself? Who is this person?!?

I took a step back mid-week to mull this over. Sure, things like winning the lottery so that I could feel financially secure would be lovely, and taking steps toward being more financially secure is a worthy goal. But a “dream”? Hardly.

Where did my big dreams go? What happened to being recognized for my creative work and feeling successful and finding true love? (That last item on my bucket list got checked off, by the way.) None of the items on my initial list are the least bit exciting. How depressing is this?

It crossed my mind that 50-something women don’t dream. The Big Things in Life are those we hope for in our 20s and 30s, when fame and fortune and achievement and recognition seemed all-important. I don’t, honestly, want to be living a Rich & Famous lifestyle, but every March I still imagine my Oscar acceptance speech (“I’d like to thank the Academy…”).

The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to imagine manifesting something “impossible”. So here’s what I ended up drawing:

Starting at top left, my rendition of the Pulitzer Prize Gold Medal, followed by my work at #1 on The New York Times’ Best Sellers List, and at the bottom a check for $250,000.00.

What this represents to me is being recognized for my writing, for my creativity, for my connecting people through my work. I have no idea what kind of work this might be, but I don’t feel that’s my job right now. My job is to state (or draw) my wishes to the Universe, then step back and let the Universe do its thing.

The Ah-Hah: Honestly, I felt disappointed in myself this week. I want to dream big again. I want to feel inspired and motivated and excited. What will it take to do this? I don’t know yet, but I’m determined to find that “impossible” goal and have fun going for it.

Nudging: Draw something to manifest x5

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Backstory: I think my original idea was to use this space in my office—the big white board I have on one wall and look at every day—to visualize something I want in my life. I’m not entirely sure what I meant by “x5”. Could be I wanted to draw a new image each day of the work week, or am I supposed to draw five different images that represent one dream? I’ll figure it out.

Please remember, I am a writer, not an artist, so don’t expect this to be pretty. 🙂 I hope this Nudge will be fun—and fruitful!

Nudged: Plant something

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Backstory: Well, crap. This is clearly a Nudge from the original list, before I did some other Nudges that helped me gain clarity on how much I do not like gardening. Isn’t one of the “rules” of nudging that it has to be “fun”?

Ugh.

But…I have been thinking it would be nice to plant a new rose bush in the backyard, to have fresh cut flowers without having to spend the extra money at the market. And the blueberry bushes are thriving, despite lack of attention, so maybe another one would work. Or a new herb plant for the kitchen window?

I am feeling anti-enthusiastic about this week’s task. But I drew it, so I must do it.

What Happened: I spent much of this week looking for ways to wiggle out of this. I mean, really. I had no desire to go to the garden center, pick something out, and dig in the dirt just to check this off. Maybe I could get “creative” about this one. Maybe I could “plant my feet” into some intention? Maybe I could use my last “pass” and choose another Nudge for the week? (Although by the time I thought of this, much of the week had gone by.) I even considered fudging about completing it, which is 100% in opposition to what this 52Nudges experience is about.

This morning this Nudge continued to hang over my head, taking up mental space as I worked, ran laundry, and tried to distract myself with busyness. I really don’t want to do any gardening. The thought of wandering the garden center for inspiration doesn’t elicit any good feelings from me. But what “seed” might I “plant”?

Ah. Hah.

On my to do list is visiting my oldest friend. After her family moved out of state when I was eight, we became pen pals, and we continue to keep in close touch via letters, emails, and now text messages. We’ve also managed to get together in person several times over the decades. The last visit was for my wedding, coming on eight years ago. I want to see her. I want to spend time in her company. I want to reminisce and catch up and share and dream. I want to do all of this before it’s “too late”.

I don’t know where the money or the time will come from, since both right now are committed to other things. But…I can plant the seeds and make my intention to do this known.

So I called my travel agent and asked her to keep an eye out for screaming deals on airfare.

And I texted my friend and asked her when would be the best times of year to come for a visit.

I don’t know how or when I’ll do this, it might even have to wait till next year, but I feel encouraged that the intention is now in motion.

The Ah-Hahs: That line about “Maybe I could get ‘creative’ about this one.” I just laughed (with delight) at myself. I started out dreading this Nudge, then found a way to have it help me manifest something I really want to do.

How fun and amazing is that?

 

Nudged: Wear a different hat x4

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Backstory: What makes me feel comfortable, feel good, feel like me? I’ve amassed quite a collection of hats over the years, from travels and gifts and some spontaneous as well as thoughtful purchases. Yet I’ve noticed recently that I gravitate to the same few over and over. So this Nudge is part closet purging and part getting clear on what feels right for me.

What Happened:

Monday: Worked from home all day. Wasn’t feeling it.

Tuesday: Well, this was fun. I quickly purged three hats:

(1) The old hat I used to wear running that is so badly stained (i.e., disgusting) that I wouldn’t dare wear it in public again. “Yet,” my inner debater said, “it is a great lightweight hat for running.” “Yet,” said my inner reasonable woman, “it’s been ages since you went running. If you get back into it, you can buy a clean new hat to motivate yourself.” Into the trash!

(2) A heavyweight winter baseball cap that was a fun gift, but that has always been uncomfortable. The cardboard bill has never relaxed, and it’s given me a headache every time I’ve worn it. Donate!

(3) Two hats that look far too much like a certain politically charged hat (one that was recently deemed a symbol of hate—yikes!). I have felt uncomfortable wearing both in public because I didn’t want to be mistaken for taking sides. I tried them on again, and one, actually, is not that comfortable. Donate! The other, actually, feels really good on, and maybe it doesn’t look that much like the offensive hat. I chose to wear it while running errands, to see if it got a reaction and how I felt in it. No big deal. This might be a keeper.

Wednesday: Had a client event tonight. My hair looked ah-mazing!, so didn’t want to smoosh it into hat head.

Thursday: Second-day hair looked not quite so amazing. Good thing it’s hat Nudging week! Pulled out one of my favorites, one that doesn’t get worn nearly enough. Paired it with a nice turtleneck, cool shades, lovely earrings, and the “good” trenchcoat (that also doesn’t get taken out enough). I felt so chic!

Me so chic!

Friday: Today I took a sick day. My body said, “Rest,” and for once I listened. Even though I knew I wouldn’t be going out, I took a few minutes to pull the remaining hats from my closet—winter, spring, summer, fall—and try all them on. So cute! I am already thinking about outfits I might put together when the sun comes out.

The last hat I pulled on was a cap a dear friend knitted for me. Baby soft, in my favorite color (lime green), it was like receiving a hug from her. So I left it on and will wear it while I curl up with tea and a good book and take care of myself today.

Ah-Hahs: When I wear something special—a jaunty hat, the “good” jewelry—I feel better. This week’s Nudge reaffirmed how being nice to myself and dressing well impacts everything I do during the day. It’s pretty simple.

I also had a lot of fun feeling chic. This reminded me of when I stopped in a local café several years ago for a coffee and pastry and couldn’t help but notice a woman seated a few tables away. She wasn’t supermodel gorgeous, she wasn’t famous; she’d possibly be described as “a woman of a certain age.” But she had something, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Sitting with just lovely posture, she sipped her cappuccino, nibbled her pastry, and read the daily paper. She was wearing dark jeans, a nice cotton blouse, a navy blazer with gold buttons, and gold pumps. Gold shoes! Fabulous!

Feeling somewhat invisible in my sloppy dog-park attire (tragic, but real), I snuck a photo of her with my phone. I printed it out and tacked it to a board in my office for inspiration because I wanted to be like her. That photo stayed on my board for several years until I accepted I can be like her. Or rather, I am my best me.

Go be your best you. ♥

 

Nudging: Wear a different hat x4

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Backstory: What makes me feel comfortable, feel good, feel like me? I’ve amassed quite a collection of hats over the years, from travels and gifts and some spontaneous as well as thoughtful purchases. Yet I’ve noticed recently that I gravitate to the same few over and over. So this Nudge is part closet purging and part getting clear on what feels right for me.

P.S. For you maybe it’s shoes or sweaters or jewelry (see the “Wear the nice jewelry” post from last year for motivation). Set aside some time this week to experiment and figure out what’s right for you.

Nudged: Throw something out

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Backstory: This could be anything. A “thing”, a memento that no longer holds any sentiment, trash, something I’ve outgrown. Or it could be an attitude or a bad habit or a dream that no longer calls to me. Hmmmm….

What Happened: Tuesday morning, as I sorted through items in my to do folder, I came across the instructions for our “new” CD player (see “Nudged: Listen to two old CDs” from, well, a while ago). I had already figured out how to run the thing just by poking around, but it’s always a good idea to read up on all the functions. Except I couldn’t do that. Why? Because the instructions brochure I had saved to read was all in Spanish. Brilliant. Quick toss that one!

What else in this office/this house/this brain is taking up space, nagging me to do? What really needs to get done, what really matters? Or better yet, what do I want to do that is being put off or blocked because I’m so busy dealing with unnecessary stuff?

The next couple of days I thought about this intermittently as I faced down a huge deadline on a client job. I was exhausted, mentally, physically, and spiritually, and I started think about the feelings and judgments I might throw away: feeling stuck, feeling underappreciated, feeling stressed, feeling tired of working so hard for what often feels like so little return. I delivered the job Thursday afternoon (ahead of the deadline, thank you very much) and allowed myself a brief respite to recover. (Ha. What I wanted to do was crawl into bed with a bottle of wine and cry, but I had things to do.) Friday morning I got back to work on the next set of deliverables.

Friday afternoon, during a break and after I received a “thank you, but we’re going in a different direction” rejection letter on a project that I really really wanted, I started looking around again at what I could get rid of. Let me see, what is “dead” around here? There’s the houseplant I’d tried to resuscitate by placing it in a sunny spot on our front steps (hello, death blocking the entry to our home!)…into the trash. The table center bouquet that had been so beautiful a week ago but now smelled like rot…buh-bye. This morning I pulled out several long-dead lavender plants and planted their healthy replacements..hello, beautiful!

Ah-Hahs: Will this make a difference? We’ll see. But it felt good to throw out the dead and make room for the new, both inside me and in the world around me.

52+: When Nudging pays off

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There’s this local craft spirits distillery I’ve been curious about for a couple of years. When a friend introduced me to their gin, in particular, I was surprised by how much I liked it. I wanted to learn more. I picked up a book about the history of gin. I tried flights at bars and experimented with cocktails at home.

Then about eight months ago, I nudged myself and coordinated a group of friends to go for a tour and tasting. It was fantastic. The whole time we were there I kept thinking, “It would be really fun to work here.”

So I nudged myself again and called them. Turns out they were hiring for the tasting room team, so I applied. And then I interviewed, went through intense training, was tested extensively, and got hired. I’m now there every Sunday alongside wonderful colleagues. I welcome guests from all over the world, tell stories, and learn new things.

I know: Wow!

This isn’t replacing my day job; it’s actually on top of all the other things I do. Friends have suggested I’ll one day write a book about gin, or start distilling my own in the bathtub. (Never say never!) I don’t know. I don’t know who I might meet or where it might lead. The future is uncertain, of course, so for now I’m just having fun. (And getting paid a bit while doing it.)

I have been meaning to share this with the 52Nudges community for ages, but there was part of me that wanted to make sure the job would “stick” before I went public. That sounds silly, now, but I was uneasy. Would they like me? Would I screw up? Would I burn out?

So far so good.  🙂

I share this with you now because I realize all of this came about because I opened myself up to opportunities and I nudged myself to:

  • Plan a fun outing with friends
  • Do something that scares me
  • Take a risk
  • Challenge my intellect and learn something new
  • Pursue a passion

If I wrapped up this whole 52Nudges project right now, I’d consider it a win. However, this experience inspires me to keep going. What might the next Nudge reveal? I am excited to discover the possibilities.

How will you nudge yourself this week? Is there something on the edge of your dreams you want to try? Please hear this from me: Go for it. ♥

Nudged: Walk a new street

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Backstory: I’d forgotten about this one—how fun! I think the idea for this Nudge may have come to me when I checked out a new-to-me bookstore several months ago, when I ended up in a new-to-me neighborhood. Even though I live in a smallish city (San Francisco is roughly 47 square miles; for comparison, Los Angeles is 302 square miles), there is so much here I have yet to explore. Weather permitting, here is my chance to do just that.

What Happened: My city is home to several really cool staircases. Some are elaborately painted. Some offer incredible views or glimpses into “secret” gardens. For this adventure, I chose something closer to home: a staircase that I’ve driven past probably once a week for the last 10 years.

Early one morning this week, I and my loyal sidekick Louie hopped in the car and drove five short minutes to the base. We huffed and puffed up the steps, then recuperated by wandering one of the side streets. Back down, then right back up, followed by a trip down a different street, where we checked out gardens and got glimpses into interesting home decors. Down again, with a break through a different street and oohs and ahhs over interesting architectural details. Then one final climb and descent before we got back in the car and headed home.

As I look at this photo, the angle doesn’t look all that intense. But I’m here to tell ya, our butts were sore! 🙂

The Ah-Hahs: I often think “I don’t have time” to do things like this. But I do. Re-read that line about “five short minutes” away from home. Geez. And not only did I get a great workout, I changed up my usual gym routine, I got some fresh air, I got in the dog’s exercise (which is typically a separate workout from my own), and it felt a bit like going to a museum (checking out the different homes and gardens and getting inspired about what I might do with my own).

What did you discover this week?