Category Archives: passion&play

Nudging: Learn how to sign a fun phrase in American Sign Language

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Backstory: The seed for learning American Sign Language (ASL) was first planted with earlier nudges, learning fun phrases in French (“What do you want for dinner?”) and Italian (“I would like a glass of prosecco, please.”). Those nudges were both really fun, and they challenged my brain in new ways.

This nudge goes a bit deeper. It was also inspired by a barista in a coffee house and a Lyft driver I met on separate occasions last year, both of whom were hearing impaired. I was struck by the realization of the effort I make to be polite and respectful when I visit foreign countries, but here, with my own people, I’ve only managed “Hello” and “Thank you.”

I’d like to do better.

Nudged: Create a chalk message

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Background: This Nudge is one of my favorites. I did it during my first round, and it was so much fun, I’m doing it again. (Also, I need to keep nudging myself until I just do it without prompting.)

The actual backstory is this is one of those activities that came out of my explorations of “Things I loved doing when I was a kid.” What made you smile when you had no limitations (as in, “you can’t draw…you’re not artisitic…”)? What tickled your creative muse? What did you get lost in? What activity simply filled you with joy?

This is the week to do it. 🙂

What Happened: Took a couple of days to think about what I wanted to write/draw. Finally, Wednesday morning, I grabbed my basket of colored chalks and wrote a love letter of sorts on my driveway.

I am no great artist, and I have no aspirations of painting/drawing anything legit. This, for me, is just fun. (And we all need need more fun in our lives.)

 

The Ah-Hahs: I know, this is all so silly, but it isn’t. Every time I came home and left, or just looked out the window, I smiled.

Mission accomplished.

 

P.S. After I post this, I’m heading out to join friends in greeting trick-or-treaters. I love love LOVE Halloween! It’s always been my favorite holiday (yes, more than Christmas), because it’s the one day when slightly weird creative kids (like me) shine. Can’t wait to see what this generation of ghouls has come up with.

Tonight also marks a tender milestone. Today was the last day at work for several of my long-time colleagues. At 5:30, I will be pouring some bubbly and toasting them, us, the great work we did together over the past 20 years. A big door is closing tonight, and I trust portals to fabulous new adventures will be opening for all of us soon. Cheers, my friends!

Nudging: Create a chalk message

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Background: This Nudge is one of my favorites. I did it during my first round, and it was so much fun, I’m doing it again. (Also, I need to keep nudging myself until I just do it without prompting.)

The actual backstory is this is one of those activities that came out of my explorations of “Things I loved doing when I was a kid.” What made you smile when you had no limitations (as in, “you can’t draw…you’re not artisitic…”)? What tickled your creative muse? What did you get lost in? What activity simply filled you with joy?

This is the week to do it. 🙂

Nudged: Investigate free programs, put 1 on the calendar

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Backstory: This nudge is designed to physically get me out of my comfort zone by exploring new places and trying new things. The “free” part may be the big challenge, and I’m going to need to be a bit creative. Street fairs, talks, programs at the library…? I’m feeling curious, and it feels good.

What Happened: This nudge was crazy-fun! I totally didn’t expect that! Here’s some of what I looked into:

  • Upcoming author events at my favorite foodie bookshop. (But I know I’d buy a book, so it doesn’t count as “free”.)
  • Checking out a local writers’ group. (A friend sent me the link. It wasn’t the right fit, but I was touched that she is looking for fun things for me to try.)
  • A Q&A with a local historian. (He’s promoting his new book, and, well, see bullet #1.)
  • A plethora of political events, from rallies to debates to meet ‘n’ greets with candidates.
  • Events and workshops at my nearby public library. (Was all set to go to a crafting event, till I saw it was for teens. Then got excited about a read-aloud event*, till I saw it was for toddlers. Sheesh.)
  • Open galleries and art shows.
  • Food & beverage events. (Found a coffee festival and a “Whiskies of the World” event, but both had hefty admission fees. Phooey. Then found a free chocolate-tasting event. Huzzah!)

What finally sparked my enthusiasm was a link to upcoming holiday events. For several years, my husband and I attended the big tree-lighting ceremony in Union Square the Friday after Thanksgiving. Great way to get into the holiday spirit.

Photo from UnionSquareShop.com

Since this nudge is about finding new things to do, though, I did a little more digging and found:

  • A tree lighting of a 100-plus-year-old live maple tree in Golden Gate Park.
  • The lighted boat parade on the Bay.

And something else caught my eye on one of those sites, so I clicked through and have added a note to my 2020 calendar to check back in the spring for:

  • Japantown’s annual Cherry Blossom Festival.

What fun new things did you discover?

*With Halloween coming up, I’m reminded of a good friend’s really cool tradition. While waiting for the few trick-or-treaters who come to her door, she and a couple of friends cozy up to a crackling fire and read spooky stories out loud. Think Edgar Allen Poe and his “Tell-tale Heart” or anything by Stephen King. I might have to try this on the 31st.

 

Nudging: Investigate free programs, put 1 on the calendar

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Backstory: This nudge is designed to physically get me out of my comfort zone by exploring new places and trying new things. The “free” part may be the big challenge, and I’m going to need to be a bit creative. Street fairs, talks, programs at the library…? I’m feeling curious, and it feels good.

Nudged: Play my flute for me–from Carrie

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Dear Nudgers,

Carrie contacted me over the summer when I put out a call for guest bloggers. She shared with me that she was inspired by my 52Nudges project to start her own, which she calls “Me & My Quite Contrary Life.” I’ve since picked up ideas from her nudges, and I hope you’ll visit her website and do the same.

Meanwhile, this week she is our Guest Nudger! I will be following her lead (possibly tickling the ivories on our old piano), and I encourage you to do the same by picking up one of the joys you’ve left behind in your childhood.

Thank you, Carrie! — Kathleen

Backstory: As I was creating my own list of nudges, inspired by Kathleen’s 52Nudges, I brainstormed what activities I used to enjoy but stopped doing as an adult. Instrumental music was at the top of the list.I started playing the flute when I was in 5th grade and continued playing regularly until my early 30s. I was in marching band and concert bands throughout high school and college (eight years total), took private lessons, played in a flute choir, and played for church and nursing homes as a soloist or with a group. My dad is a talented, life-long musician, so it was in my blood and was something I excelled at with countless hours of practice and perfectionism. Music was a big part of my life and shaped who I am today.

A serious picture from my high school band days–with the same flute I have today.

The music stopped abruptly one day about five years ago. It was a combination of factors that produced my “retirement” from playing the flute and piccolo. My flute teacher/mentor/friend Jan died suddenly of cancer several years before, and I had never completely gotten over it. I was devastated by her death, and felt I couldn’t play without her; the joy was gone. In addition, I changed churches and wanted to explore other areas of my God-given talents. I packed up my flute, my constant companion for decades, and haven’t touched it again.

…until this week.

The purpose of this nudge is to play my flute for my benefit only. I won’t be playing along with someone else or because someone asked me, but because I want to play for my enjoyment.

I have many questions going into the week: What will I play? Will I remember how to do it? What will the dog think? How will I feel as I play?

“Music has healing power. It has the ability to take people out of themselves for a few hours.”– Elton John

What Happened: I sat on this nudge for most of the week and did nothing. Finally, on a quiet Friday night when my husband was gone and I was alone (with the dog!), I found my instrument in the back of a closet and challenged myself to play at least one song. I did it! I ended up playing for about an hour, and experienced many thoughts and emotions during that time.

I was happy to see my flute again as I opened the case. I was reminded of my excitement to play as a 5th grader. It felt like seeing an old friend again. The happiness soon gave way to guilt as I saw some rust spots on the instrument from age and neglect. I felt like a bad friend.

It felt very familiar to assemble the pieces and get the instrument properly aligned. All the dents and dings that I remembered were still there, evidence of our times together. I started playing and discovered I remembered all of the fingerings—just like riding a bike! I played an old hymn first, then moved on to other flute solos from my past. The joy of playing slowly came back.

The dog ran into the room as I hit a high note. She sensed my joy and thought it translated into a treat for her. She anxiously wagged her tail and looked at me with big brown eyes. When a treat was not produced, she quickly lost interest and returned to the couch. Her soft snores were occasionally heard as a musical accompaniment.

I soon realized how out of shape I was—my mouth hurt after one song. I kept going.

After about an hour, I pulled out some old pictures of my band days and reminisced about my musical career and about Jan. I wish she was still around so I could have more conversations with her. I have no doubt we would still be great friends today. She never married or had children, but she was a mother and mentor to me when I was in high school. I am grateful that her parents mailed me a stack of her flute music after her death. As I was feeling sad that I wouldn’t talk to her again, the next piece of music I came across was her music of “When We All Get to Heaven”. WOW! What a reminder that I will get to catch up with her again someday.

The most talented flute player I have ever known, my mentor and friend, Jan. She is so missed.

Ah-Hahs: I enjoyed my evening of music for just my benefit, my private concert. It was fun to read music again—I didn’t realize it had been so long! In church, all the words of worship music are on the screens, so I don’t read actual sheet music often. I miss it.

My flute will always be an important item that I will never get rid of, but I don’t feel the need to play it often. It served its purpose in my life, and I am grateful.

It was fun to look back on my musical career and see all the benefits playing the flute brought me: quality time spent playing music with my dad and sister, good friendships with bandmates, marching band trips to Florida and California, confidence to perform in front of many people, staying in shape with marching band, and it kept me out of trouble as a teenager. It was definitely time well spent!

With the same flute in college marching band for four years.

I am really enjoying my nudges project. This is just one more example of how I am rediscovering joy and getting out of my comfort zone. I never would have played again without this challenge. Thanks, Kathleen, for your inspiration!

Get better acquainted with Carrie and her 52Nudges-inspired project through her blog, Me & My Quite Contrary Life.

 

 

Nudging: Play my flute for me — from Carrie

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Dear Nudgers,

Carrie contacted me over the summer when I put out a call for guest bloggers. She shared with me that she was inspired by my 52Nudges project to start her own, which she calls “Me & My Quite Contrary Life.” I’ve since picked up ideas from her nudges, and I hope you’ll visit her website and do the same.

Meanwhile, this week she is our Guest Nudger! I will be following her lead (possibly tickling the ivories on our old piano), and I encourage you to do the same by picking up one of the joys you’ve left behind in your childhood.

Thank you, Carrie! — Kathleen

Backstory: As I was creating my own list of nudges, inspired by Kathleen’s 52Nudges, I brainstormed what activities I used to enjoy but stopped doing as an adult. Instrumental music was at the top of the list.

I started playing the flute when I was in 5th grade and continued playing regularly until my early 30s. I was in marching band and concert bands throughout high school and college (eight years total), took private lessons, played in a flute choir, and played for church and nursing homes as a soloist or with a group. My dad is a talented, life-long musician, so it was in my blood and was something I excelled at with countless hours of practice and perfectionism. Music was a big part of my life and shaped who I am today.

A serious picture from my high school band days–with the same flute I have today.

The music stopped abruptly one day about five years ago. It was a combination of factors that produced my “retirement” from playing the flute and piccolo. My flute teacher/mentor/friend Jan died suddenly of cancer several years before, and I had never completely gotten over it. I was devastated by her death, and felt I couldn’t play without her; the joy was gone. In addition, I changed churches and wanted to explore other areas of my God-given talents. I packed up my flute, my constant companion for decades, and haven’t touched it again.

…until this week.

The purpose of this nudge is to play my flute for my benefit only. I won’t be playing along with someone else or because someone asked me, but because I want to play for my enjoyment.

I have many questions going into the week: What will I play? Will I remember how to do it? What will the dog think? How will I feel as I play?

“Music has healing power. It has the ability to take people out of themselves for a few hours.”

– Elton John

Nudged: No Facebook or online news for 1 week

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Backstory: I signed up to work with a nutritionist last year, to fine-tune what foods (vs. fads) work best for my system for losing weight and maintaining good health. I figured I’d be told to count calories, make adjustments to intake of carbs/fats/proteins, and amp up and create more variety in my exercise routines. So I was surprised to see “limit social media” on her list of recommendations. “It’s a source of stress,” she explained (Duh, I thought at the time), “and that contributes to how our bodies function,” including how we process calories and hang on to excess weight.

I’ve since talked with a number of friends who have received similar advice when seeking to develop healthier lifestyles, including one friend who was assigned “zero social media” for a three-month period while working through some challenges with a therapist.

There’s something to this, so I thought I’d try it out.

What Happened: One of the key guidelines for the nudges I give myself is each has to be, in some way, “uncomfortable”. On a scale of one to 10, this felt like a nine.

I drew this just before noon on Sunday, and my first thought was “I have a few minutes to check everything before this starts!”

How sick is that? I resisted the urge, taped the strip of paper with the nudge on top of my week’s calendar, and went about my day.

Monday 6 am I faced a rude awakening. I realized I have an almost unconscious routine when I first hit my desk in the mornings: Dear Abby, People online, local news, international news, Facebook. I resisted the urge and went to work, and all was fine till I was working on a project for a client and discovered a link about something they’re doing that I wanted to share on my FB business page. “This is work,” I told myself, “it doesn’t count.” And “I’ll just schedule it to run later, but I won’t look at anything else.” Riiight.

I scribbled a note in my calendar for this coming Monday to circle back to it. Would it have been easier and more time-efficient to just get it done? Probably. But that’s not what this week’s nudge is about.

Thor (the code name for my darling husband) emailed me in the afternoon: “Check out this story in the Chronicle!” Maybe if I just read that one story…. But I knew it would lead down the rabbit hole to other links, so I explained why I couldn’t and asked him to give me the highlights over dinner, which he did.

Tuesday was easier. I didn’t feel compelled to launch into my morning routine of checking all my sources.

By end of week, it was no big deal. I noticed that I did feel calmer, even more focused. Huh.

However….

Ah-Hahs: If I’m being completely honest (and I am), I must admit that I filled some of that “free” time with (cringe) online Solitaire. WTH?! This is not something I do. This is not ME. But there you have it. I am not proud of myself.

I took a hard look at “Why do I feel the need to numb myself? What am I avoiding?”

Late Thursday night I spent some time journaling about these questions. Here’s a short list of what came up for me:

  • Facing the losses that have appeared recently in my professional life, resulting in open spaces I don’t know how I’m ever going to fill.
  • Fearing that I’m “done” being a contributing member of society.
  • Feeling I am a burden to my husband.
  • Dreading the overwhelm of BIG projects that seem “impossible” to complete.

I reached out to a wise friend, shared with her some of what was going on in my life, and she told me what I already knew: I need to grieve my losses.

So Friday morning I started my day with an intention to “sit” with my grief.

Only I didn’t. When presented with a chunk of free time between projects, I opened up the Solitaire site.

I can quit any time I want.

This, I acknowledge, is a problem. Maybe not life-threatening, but I know it’s not healthy.

I’m not sure what to do with all this yet, but I consider this nudge a “win” for forcing me to acknowledge this – and do something about it.

I need figure out how to be the queen of my own heart. (Fabulous deck of cards designed by Ambidextrous Studio at http://ambistudio.com/.)

P.S. Avoidance can present in many forms of addiction. If you are reading this and thinking about how you’ve been using an unhealthy substance to numb out, please consider this your nudge to ask for help. If a licensed therapist is beyond your means, contact a clergy person or trusted friend.

Nudged: Go through one bookshelf

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Backstory: Hello! And welcome to 52Nudges 2.0! Today is #1 of 52 nudges, and I’m excited to jump in. Thank you for joining me!

The process is simple: Each Sunday around noon, I draw at random a task/challenge from The List. (Read all the possibilities and see the bowl in this post from last week.) In the following days, I do my best to complete the task, while taking note of what the process reveals for me. My intention is to nudge myself out of my old routines, discover who I am and who I am becoming, and open myself up to new experiences and opportunities.

This morning I drew: Go through one bookshelf. I’m going to pick one (probably one in my office), pull everything out, dust and polish the actual shelf, then consider what I want to replace. Maybe I’ll discover a lost “treasure” hidden behind the clutter, or maybe I’ll decide to toss/share/recycle what’s there and fill the space with something new that feels more authentically me.

Bookshelves all in order? Then you might rearrange the stuff on top of your desk or go through the old packets of seeds in the gardening shed or face the very scary “junk drawer”. Let me know what you find!

What Happened: As I considered which shelf to clear, I was repeatedly drawn to one that has housed–for years–several binders of research, brainstorms, and notes for one client. A client that I have sensed for some time is no longer a fit for me. I have needed to cut the ties, but have hesitated. I know the work, so it’s easy to do. I want to be a helpful, especially when my primary contact at the company calls for a favor.

As I looked at the full shelf, I realized I was looking at the past. And right now, I want to be looking forward to my future, whatever that might be. So…. I pulled everything out and started shredding.

After I dusted and polished, I left the shelf open for a couple of days while I thought about what I might want to go there. Finally I filled it with workbooks, flashcards, and reference books from when I took lessons in French. I should mention that these materials have sat neglected in a tote bag, in a corner of my office, for like 10 years. Now they are front and center again. Now, when I look at that shelf, I hope to be inspired and motivated to do something with them.

The Ah-Hahs: In preparation for this round of nudges, I took a look at things I loved to do as a kid and younger adult, as well as things I would love to try or do more often. Get back to learning French has long held a place on my personal to do list. Classes are not in my budget at this moment, but some day. Meanwhile, I can dip my toe in with the flashcards or by doing an exercise in my old workbooks once in a while. I’m excited about this.

The other ah-hah came while shredding. While the tendency was to dwell in the “loss” of the old client, I chose to shift my attitude and give thanks. I thought about the incredible work I was fortunate to do. I recalled how it felt to be part of a thriving, truly creative collaboration. I felt tremendous gratitude for the enduring friendships I gained over the years. I felt good and light as a result, feeling I had decluttered not only stuff, but negative emotions.

And now I have space into which something new can come.

 

Nudging: Go through one bookshelf

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Backstory: Hello! And welcome to 52Nudges 2.0! Today is #1 of 52 nudges, and I’m excited to jump in. Thank you for joining me!

The process is simple: Each Sunday around noon, I draw at random a task/challenge from The List. (Read all the possibilities and see the bowl in this post from last week.) In the following days, I do my best to complete the task, while taking note of what the process reveals for me. My intention is to nudge myself out of my old routines, discover who I am and who I am becoming, and open myself up to new experiences and opportunities.

This morning I drew: Go through one bookshelf. I’m going to pick one (probably one in my office), pull everything out, dust and polish the actual shelf, then consider what I want to replace. Maybe I’ll discover a lost “treasure” hidden behind the clutter, or maybe I’ll decide to toss/share/recycle what’s there and fill the space with something new that feels more authentically me.

Bookshelves all in order? Then you might rearrange the stuff on top of your desk or go through the old packets of seeds in the gardening shed or face the very scary “junk drawer”. Let me know what you find!