Category Archives: Radical Self-Care

Nudging: Create a chalk message/drawing on the sidewalk

Leave a reply

Backstory: This is so funny: I was actually thinking about pulling out my basket of chalks a few days ago and making something fun, and now I “have” to do it!

If you’re a long-time Nudger, you know that this Nudge has appeared in every round. It checks all the boxes: cheap, fun, creative, outside my comfort zone (I am so not a visual artist), and it 100% lifts my spirits every time.

The message will go on our front sidewalk, so it will be addressed to our neighbors. However, I am fully aware that I am sending this message to myself. What do I need to hear/read? What do you need?

As always, make this Nudge your own. Maybe use paints, markers, or crayons to make an uplifting sign and hang it in your front window. Maybe create something on Canva and post it on your social media. Have fun with it!

Nudged: Paint sample squares on the office wall

Leave a reply

Backstory: My office is in our home, and it’s an incredible space. Big bay window that looks out over our backyard. Mementos of past projects on the walls. A huge pine desk. And now a puppy pen in the corner. For years I’ve wanted to give it a makeover. I want color, I want pizzazz, I want something that represents my best self. I want it to look not just like a spare room that serves as an office, but as a truly beautiful creative space.

To that end, a couple of years ago I picked up sample bottles of paint to try out. This is the week I find them (they’re somewhere in the basement) and paint those squares on the wall so I can live with them and figure out what color I want my walls to be.

Thor and I have done this before. We completely changed the look and feel of our dining and living rooms with color. I also know that this is the gateway to more TLC for our home. Painting the walls is the first step that will eventually lead to nice curtains, a rug without holes, and lighting fixtures that don’t date back to the 1970s.

I’m excited to finally get this project started.

Lots of options for making this Nudge your own. Maybe you pick up some of those paper color swatches and start with that. Or browse online and create a Pinterest gallery for a new couch/reading chair/bathtub. Or fix one small thing in your home that has been on the to-do list for a while. If you need inspiration, check out Apartment Therapy, a site I’ve been following recently for motivation on decluttering.

Pick one small step in the larger project and get it done. Let’s show our homes some TLC this week.

What Happened: OMG, I actually did this! I had every excuse ready to flake on this Nudge. I even spent part of my lunch break on Tuesday snooping around Sherwin-Williams‘s website and playing with their “visualizer,” telling myself this would count as completing the Nudge.

But dangit, I’ve put this off long enough. I did, in fact, find those two sample bottles in the basement and was embarrassed to discover I didn’t buy them “a couple of years ago” but in February…2015. How long has “spiff up my office” been on my Wish and To-Do lists? Too long.

So this afternoon I took advantage of the puppy’s nap time and got to work.

Pretty, right? That’s Butter Up on the left, Jonquil on the right. They’re on the wall that I face when I’m at my desk, and I plan to live with them for a while, to see how they look in different lighting during the day, to see which one feels right. Or maybe I’ll decide to branch out and try something totally different. I have to say, there is a light, almost gray, lavender that caught my eye when I was browsing the website.

The Ah-Hahs: Painting these squares + clean-up took less than 10 minutes. I’m kinda beating myself up for putting this off for seven years! But it’s done, and I’m excited to move forward to next steps: choosing my palette, finding a coordinating rug + curtains + lamps. I’m also reminding myself that this is my Process for achieving things, a skill set I haven’t used in a while: Break a big goal/dream into small steps and do one by one till it’s complete. It feels good to be moving forward.

The other ah-hah is I noticed how calming the physical painting was. My breathing naturally aligned with my brush strokes. The colors lifted my spirit. I’m smiling right now as I look at these two colors.

Isn’t it fun when a Nudge turns out to be packed with unexpected gifts?

P.S. What do you think: Butter Up or Jonquil or…?

Nudging: Full Pass #1

2 Replies

Dear Nudgers,

You may recall that I allow myself to “Pass” on a Nudge four times during the year. Usually that means I have pulled something I don’t feel like doing at the moment, or the timing isn’t right, or whatever. I don’t really have to have an excuse. I simply put the original Nudge back in the bowl and draw a new one.

Today I am taking advantage of this rule by taking a Full Pass for the week. Everything’s fine. In fact, everything is better than fine. I’m just exhausted because this happened last weekend:

Meet Bear, the newest member of Pack Woods. Bear is sweet, smart, fun, curious, and challenging. Come to think of it, he is kind of a cuddly and furry embodiment of a Nudge.

So while I rest…hahahahaha…I mean while I devote every drop of my time, energy, and attention to taking care of our little* dude, you can do whatever you wish this week. Pull a Nudge of your own and see it through, or take a breather. Listen to your heart, and do what you need and want to do.

I’ll see you back here next Sunday.

With virtual hugs and wet puppy kisses,

Kathleen

*”Little.” LOL! At four months, Bear weighed in at 32 lbs. Who needs the gym? 😉

Nudged: Take a Mental Health Day

Leave a reply

Backstory: “Oh, SURE!”

That’s what I all-but-yelled when I drew this Nudge a few minutes ago. “Take a Mental Health Day.” Take a day off in one of my busiest weeks ever.

I could take one of the four passes. But how ironic is that?

I looked back at my notes on why I included this on The List 3.0. Here’s what I wrote:

“I’ve been my own boss for over two decades. Taking a ‘sick day’ pretty much doesn’t happen, and ‘paid sick days’, well…. I even work weekends once in a while. Also, when I scheduled my COVID booster shot last fall, I found myself looking forward to the time I would ‘get’ to take off to recover. How wrong is that?! I need time to rest and recharge.”

Alright. I accept this Nudge and will give it my best effort.

What Happened: As soon as I finished the Nudging post, I started making a to-do list of what I might do with my Mental Health Day. And then I laughed at myself. Time to get off the treadmill!

Because I had an intensely busy week ahead, I knew I had to be intentional about the day. I chose Friday, knowing I could cram everything else on my schedule into Monday through Thursday and then be able to take full advantage of the Nudge–and not be tempted to cheat.

Ironically, I woke up Monday morning feeling under the weather. WTH?! But I had a big client deadline, so that wasn’t happening. And I didn’t want to work through the morning and take just a half day off. I didn’t feel I would reap the full benefits of the Nudge.

On Tuesday, a client Zoom meeting got postponed at the last minute, but since I was already up and dressed (and in full camera-ready hair and makeup), I took that gift of extra time to tackle things due later in the week.

There were a couple of late nights, but I made it. Friday morning I woke up ready to GO!

Wait. Not that. Well, shoot. This was not the day to catch up on laundry, make and freeze a big batch of soup, pick up the drycleaning, or reply to old emails. I shifted gears and asked myself, What would I want to do if I really didn’t feel well and really needed to take a day off?

I lingered in bed with an inspiring book (Almost Everything by Anne Lamott–highly recommend). I took a long soak in a hot bubble bath (with lavender and epsom salts–divine!). I cuddled up on the couch and enjoyed a favorite feel-good movie (Under the Tuscan Sun–“Lots and lots of ladybugs, Kath!”). I spent a little more time than usual with my daily prayers.

By then it was noon (I know), and I discovered I was bored (I KNOW!). What is wrong with me?!

After a light lunch, I took myself out for a walk. Not my usual multitasking get-some-brisk-exercise-while-listening-to-an-audiobook-and-running-errands kind of walk, but a slow, relaxed, take-in-deep-breaths-and-the-scenery walk. As I walked through one part of my neighborhood, I felt “called” to take a detour and go lie on the grass on an island in a small cul-de-sac. But I resisted. If felt weird. It wasn’t my cul-de-sac, and I worried the residents wouldn’t appreciate my presence.

As I looped back toward home, there that island was again. This time, I didn’t resist. I turned left, plopped myself down on the grass, and was treated to this:

I took in the clarity. I felt and breathed in the breeze. I listened to my heart, and it told me to shut up and enjoy the moment.

The Ah-Hahs: It’s now Saturday morning, and I am pleased to report that I feel incredibly calm and rebalanced. Check this off as one very successful Nudging! Though, I think I might change it from a “Mental Health Day” to a “Spiritual Health Day,” because I feel the benefits in mind and body and spirit. Ahhhhhh.

Nudging: Take a Mental Health Day

Leave a reply

Backstory: “Oh, SURE!”

That’s what I all-but-yelled when I drew this Nudge a few minutes ago. “Take a Mental Health Day.” Take a day off in one of my busiest weeks ever.

I could take one of the four passes. But how ironic is that?

I looked back at my notes on why I included this on The List 3.0. Here’s what I wrote:

“I’ve been my own boss for over two decades. Taking a ‘sick day’ pretty much doesn’t happen, and ‘paid sick days’, well…. I even work weekends once in a while. Also, when I scheduled my COVID booster shot last fall, I found myself looking forward to the time I would ‘get’ to take off to recover. How wrong is that?! I need time to rest and recharge.”

Alright. I accept this Nudge and will give it my best effort.

 

Nudged: Write & mail 5 “Thinking of you” notes

Leave a reply

Dear Nudger,

If you have followed 52Nudges for a while, you know that I love sending–and receiving–handwritten notes. So much so, that mid-pandemic, I did a whole series of “Connections” Nudges. When I started creating the 3.0 List, I considered dropping this, because, well, it’s been done.

But then, in September of last year, I discovered a stack of holiday cards from 2020, set aside because I had planned to follow up with those people, call them, send an email, tell them how much I enjoy watching their families grow and appreciate their keeping in touch with me. In there was a sweet note from a friend I hadn’t talked to in a while, a long while. I wish I could tell you I picked up the phone and called her in that moment, but that was not possible, because she had taken her own life in August.

This Nudge is in tribute to her. This week I will reach out to a handful of faraway friends and tell them how much I love them, now, while I can.

It’s been a tough couple of years. We’re busy, we’re worried, we’re overwhelmed. I hope this week’s Nudge will generate a little bit of joy for all of us.

Yours, with deep affection,

Kathleen

P.S. If you’re in a dark place, help is available. Please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 and https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.

What Happened: I just mailed the last of my cards. I was at first tempted to do this all in one rush–I even addressed all five envelopes on Sunday after I drew the Nudge. Instead, I found myself wanting to take my time, to be fully present with each. Five days, five personal notes. Signed, sealed, and mailed.

The Ah-Hahs: I think I’m pretty good about keeping in touch with people, but I wish I could be better. The days, the weeks, the months go by in a flurry of work and responsibilities, and…well, you know the drill. I’m glad I could be intentional about reaching out this week. This Nudge did lift my spirits, and I hope my notes lifted the spirits of their recipients.

As I write this, I’m trying to sense if there’s a deeper meaning to all this, a deeper ah-hah. I don’t know. But I’m reminded of how, whenever I traveled solo many years ago, I would send a postcard to myself, a memento of my adventures. You know what, I think I’m going to write one more note right now. I’m going to tell my sweet friend Kath how wonderful she is, how much she is loved. And I’m going to put a stamp on it and mail it. I have a feeling it will arrive on a day when I really need it.

Nudging: Write & mail 5 “Thinking of you” notes

Leave a reply

Dear Nudger,

If you have followed 52Nudges for a while, you know that I love sending–and receiving–handwritten notes. So much so, that mid-pandemic, I did a whole series of “Connections” Nudges. When I started creating the 3.0 List, I considered dropping this, because, well, it’s been done.

But then, in September of last year, I discovered a stack of holiday cards from 2020, set aside because I had planned to follow up with those people, call them, send an email, tell them how much I enjoy watching their families grow and appreciate their keeping in touch with me. In there was a sweet note from a friend I hadn’t talked to in a while, a long while. I wish I could tell you I picked up the phone and called her in that moment, but that was not possible, because she had taken her own life in August.

This Nudge is in tribute to her. This week I will reach out to a handful of faraway friends and tell them how much I love them, now, while I can.

It’s been a tough couple of years. We’re busy, we’re worried, we’re overwhelmed. I hope this week’s Nudge will generate a little bit of joy for all of us.

Yours, with deep affection,

Kathleen

P.S. If you’re in a dark place, help is available. Please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 and https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.

Nudged: Check out the local specialty cheese shop

1 Reply

Background: I’ve lived in my current neighborhood for over a decade, yet for some reason I can’t explain, I’ve never stepped inside the specialty cheese shop across the street from one of my favorite restaurants. I’ve walked and driven past it a million times. I’ve even parked in front of it and peered in the front window. Friends rave about this place, about its offerings and its owners. What’s it going to take to get me in the door?

This week’s Nudge.

As always, make this your own. Maybe this is the week you visit a new-to-you branch of your local library, or the knitting shop that seems to call out to you, or the tiny historic building you’ve always meant to explore.

I wish you a fun adventure!

What Happened: I was so pumped for this Nudge, I even got dressed up to go out! I arrived at the shop just as it was scheduled to open at 10 am on Monday, only to discover that they are closed on Mondays. Phooey. And pivot! I decided instead I would check out a tiny wine shop on the way home, only to discover there was no parking in that area from 10 to noon on Mondays. Re-pivot. 

Tuesday morning I got in my car with fresh intentions, and my efforts were greatly rewarded. As soon as I walked across the threshold, I knew I was in a special place. More than just a cheese shop, it was a tiny grocery with a spectacular array of cheeses, sandwiches, and gourmet offerings.

That wasn’t all. I spotted a sign that advertised “We have French butter.” Oh. Mon. Dieu!

After a lovely chat with the proprietor, a man with whom I hope to be on a first-name basis one day, I left with a small slice of Manchego cheese and a $7 package of butter. An extravagance, perhaps, but my total cost came to less than $12 and my mouth watered all the way home.

I treated myself to a lunch of kings and queens. Not fussy or expensive, but oh-so-very-special. Every single bite was delicious.

The Ah-Hahs: A delight for all my senses. The “discovery” of another neighborhood treasure. The possibility of more culinary adventures in my future. It took me only 10 years to make it happen.

This is why I do 52Nudges. 

Nudged: Ignore the news for 1 full week

1 Reply

Backstory: Pretty straightforward this one. By ignoring the news this week, I hope to lower my blood pressure and maybe focus on more joy in the world. Fingers crossed.

What Happened: Well, this was HARD! I jumped right in, committed to sticking to my plan, but “news” is everywhere. Monday morning it distracted me at the gym. (Just try focusing on anything other than the hanging TV screens in front of you while you’re stuck on the elliptical.) And it feels like everything counts as news. Is it okay to check the weather app? (Not if I end up looking at weather-related stories — like power outages and catastrophic flooding.) Does keeping up with posts on Instagram count? (Yes, but some had to be checked for work.) Dang! I found myself looking for loopholes!

When I got stressed, I wanted to “relax” with a “break.” When I got bored, ditto. When friends forwarded interesting articles, I wanted desperately to stay informed and reply with my opinions; instead, I set them aside to look at next week. When “BREAKING NEWS” arrived in my email inbox, I could have given in and gotten my celebrity fix, but I got better at moving it to trash before getting sucked in.

I stuck with it, acknowledging the tug to “just look for a moment” and then pulling myself away. Altogether, I felt I completed this Nudge successfully and…

The Ah-Hahs: It got easier with each new day. The attraction lost its appeal, especially as I started to register how less stressed I was. This is in big part due to my noticing how much time I waste looking at mostly garbage, how much energy I waste getting worked up over all the triggering messages that come my way. This was a great Nudge for Radical Self-Care.

Will I slide back into old bad habits next week? I hope not. I don’t think so. I really do feel better having had this break from the 24/7 news cycle.