Category Archives: work/career

52+: Connections–A former work colleague

Who do you miss? The pal with whom you regularly went out for lunch? The woman who brought in the best homemade treats? The one with the great attitude, who always made you feel seen and appreciated? Whether you’ve been separated by COVID or career paths that diverged long ago, this is your nudge to reach out and reconnect.

Nothing fancy needed here. I’ll probably make a phone call—or three, because I can think of a few candidates. (Sending an email or message through LinkedIn would also work.) And since we might both be working, I might first reach out first to schedule a coffee break + chat.

Here are some prompts that might help the conversation flow:

“I was just thinking about you!”…

  • “Remember that project when we…had a big win / had that crazy client / won that award?”
  • “Are you working from home? What’s your home office like?” (Maybe we’ll exchange photos.)
  • “What do you miss most about our old office?”
  • “Whatever happened to our old boss / assistant / crazy client?”

It strikes me that this is the heart of networking. Sure, we all want to make professional connections that help us get ahead, but it’s the personal connections that make it all worthwhile.

By the way, if  a new job comes out of a reconnection, I want to hear about it! 😉

52+: On a (sometimes bumpy) journey to a new passion-fueled career

I am always on the lookout for stories about women who have followed their passions and created new opportunities for themselves. Is there something you love doing that you’d love to turn into a career? Have people told you it’s “impossible” because it’s “not realistic” or “you’re too young/old” or…? Hmmm…. I hope Melissa’s story will inspire you to take a chance on yourself.

After completing an internship in public relations, Melissa Fulton knew she’d never use her BA in Public Communications. After completing an internship at IBM in sales support, she chose tech sales for her career and spent 13 years on that path. When her second daughter was born, she took a leave of absence that “led to another year and another year and another baby and….” Fast-forward to 2017, when she faced an emptying nest and wondered, “What is my next chapter going to be?”

As Melissa explored her options, her husband made an observation. “You’ve always loved travel, and you love organizing everyone’s trips,” he said to her. “You should check that out.” He introduced her to one of his former work colleagues, a woman who had retired from the tech sector and started a travel agency. Melissa made the call, and as soon as she got off the phone, she thought, “I totally want to do this!”

It was another year before she went online to look up “How to be a travel agent.” During that interim, she thought about what she wanted—and what she didn’t. “I wanted to travel more,” she said. “I wanted a flexible schedule to be able to attend our kids’ events. I didn’t want to sit behind a desk 9 to 5.”

She explored joining a network and starting her own business. She spoke with other women who had started travel agencies and took their experiences to heart. “You can be very independent, hang your own shingle,” she said, “but I didn’t want to take on a large investment then realize it wasn’t the right fit for me.” With a franchise, however, the parent company offered training, website hosting, contract negotiating, marketing tools, and a network of helpful colleagues who could offer advice and suggestions. “I liked that structure and support,” she said.

She and her husband bought a franchise, named it Travel By Meli (her friends’ nickname for her), and dove in.

She started with some basic training and quickly realized the work was more complicated than she had anticipated. “It’s a big world out there!” she said. “There’s so much information. I got home and thought, ‘What have I done?’”

As she looks back, she sometimes wishes she could have started off in a more organized fashion, with more training upfront versus learning as she worked. “Instead, I decided I was going to help anybody and everybody,” she said, and with word-of-mouth providing the only advertising she needed, business took off like crazy. She quickly developed a reputation for expertise in planning land-based trips to Europe and river cruises, and often worked till the wee hours of the morning. “At times, it was too much,” she said, but she now sees it was the best way to learn. “It was better than reading or taking a course,” she said. She also found her personal travel experiences gave her an edge, for example, when she planned a trip to Peru for clients. “It’s such a unique experience,” she said, and it helped that she had taken a similar trip with her family and could advise her clients on what to expect and what they would need.

Melissa in Santorini, Greece, one of her favorite places.

Then, in early March of this year, COVID hit. “I became busier cancelling than I’d ever been booking,” she said. At one point she thought she might throw in the towel and go back to the corporate world, but was emboldened by the outstanding service she received from the “wonderful” suppliers who were handling the changes. Then…people started booking and rebooking again. “By mid-July, people were more optimistic and were just so tired of being home,” she said. “I heard, ‘We need something to look forward to!’ They started booking trips into 2022, and I thought, ‘Oh, I love this!’” She remains “definitely hopeful” and trusts that “the world will be okay again some day”.

When asked what advice she would offer to someone who is trying to figure out her next chapter, she thought about her response for a few moments before speaking. “‘What makes you excited?’ is the hardest question for anyone to answer,” she said. “I’m going through this right now with my daughter. Do you work for money or to be fulfilled? Do you volunteer [to feed your passion]? I don’t know.” She confessed she struggled initially to find her own way, in part, she said, because she sometimes felt like she had lost who she was while she was so busy caring for her growing family.

Based on her own journey, she offered some suggestions. “Get together with friends and chat. Ask them ‘What do you think I’m good at?’ and listen to their answers.” She also encourages women to trust themselves and their abilities. “It doesn’t matter how old you are or if you haven’t worked in years,” she said. “You have interests, your experience, and your work ethic.” Use them.

Authenticity plus optimism is paramount. “Don’t ignore the things you like to do, your passions, and think you can’t do anything with them,” she said. “Don’t sell yourself short.”

52+: When Dreams Take Flight

I love hearing stories about how stars align (or Nudges nudge) for the perfect outcome. They remind me to stay positive and patient, to do what I can do, leave the rest up to the Universe, and have faith.

In this instance, a number of factors came together—a passion for history, a random ad, a supportive spouse, and a prompt from an acquaintance—to help one woman identify her dream and experience it in unanticipated ways. Inspired by her story, I asked if I could share her journey and insights with 52Nudges’s readers.

Pilar Dowell is a talented graphic designer. After working 15 years in-house and 10 years as a contractor for the Walt Disney Company, she opened Seattle-based Pilar Dowell Design and spread her wings to work with a broader clientele.

On the side, she fed her curiosity for World War II history, inspired initially by her dad, who was a teacher. “I like learning,” she said, “and I gravitate toward books and movies about history, specifically about WWII.”

One day, on her way out of an airplane-themed diner near her home, she picked up a local newspaper and noticed an ad offering “Free Fly Days” through the Flying Heritage & Combat Armor Museum. Every summer, they bring out some of their collection’s vintage aircraft and invite the public to come watch them fly. Pilar decided to check it out.

On her way there, she got lost and, by chance, ended up at Historic Flight, a smaller museum, then located at the opposite side of the tarmac. The friendly people inside gave her directions to her intended destination, but she saw enough to be intrigued and thought, “I have to come back here.” She picked up some information and made plans to return for a memorial flight commemorating the 70th Anniversary of D-Day. That afternoon, Pilar picked up her youngest son early from school and headed over. “I figured Alex would learn so much more about history that day than he would in school.”

A few weeks later, she and her husband, Rob, returned to attend a different event. As they looked around, Rob talked to someone on the staff and mentioned “My wife would love to volunteer here if you need graphic design.” Her first project was creating a brochure, and she soon learned incredible opportunities came with the job. “They would reward the volunteers with flight,” Pilar explained, including tours inside the planes and short turns at the controls. “The first time they asked ‘Would you like to take a ride in Grumpy?’ I almost cried,” she said.

Pilar in the cockpit of a B-25. (Photo courtesy of Pilar Dowell.)

Grumpy is a B-25, her favorite airplane. B-25s played a pivotal role in the Doolittle “Tokyo” Raid, which took place right after Pearl Harbor. Of the almost 10,000 models that were made, there are still about 100 B-25s (B stands for “bomber”) still in existence around the world. About 45 are air-worthy, Pilar shared in an enthusiastic burst of statistics, and the rest are on display in museums. With her colleagues from Historic Flight, she got to travel to Ohio to commemorate the 75th anniversary of the Doolittle Raid. “I met the man who was the co-pilot to Jimmy Doolittle, the last surviving Doolittle Raider,” she said, adding that meeting pilots and other retired military personnel, and hearing their stories, has been especially moving for her.

In addition to brochures and posters, Pilar created items, such as T-shirts, for Historic Flight’s retail store and marketing pieces for the flight show season, which runs April through September (except for this year, due to COVID). “I had just finished work for an air show,” she said, “and was showing it to the wife of the museum’s owner. She said, ‘You really should market aviation design,’ as a branch of Pilar Dowell Design.” The suggestion sparked Pilar’s imagination, and Fly Girl Graphic Design was born. Within a short period, she got a domain, designed a logo and business card, and built and launched the website.

With targeted clients that include aviation museums, airports, and pilot associations, Fly Girl Graphic Design is more about graphic design services than sales of merchandise. “I find it’s the most fun,” she said. “For example,” she explained, “when I was hired to create a poster and T-shirt design for an air show, I got to learn about the aircraft and the history.”

Fly Girl Graphic Design has brought together Pilar’s skills, experience, and passions. For those of us looking for ways to identify and pursue new personal and/or professional adventures with purpose, she shared some insights. “There are museums where you offer to volunteer, and those people become your community. They are there for the same reasons you are,” she said. “Seek. Find what you’re interested in, then go find your people.”

Nudging: Pick something from the Big To Do List

Backstory: The intention behind this nudge is to pick one of those BIG PROJECTS that have reappeared on various editions of my Big To Do List–and this is the important part (that doesn’t quite fit in the headline space): break it down into smaller steps and finally start getting it done.

I checked my notes from when I first created my nudges List, and this is the what I thought I might do:

Plan a Picnic: pick a date, invite family and friends, pull the picnic basket (an item that I love) up from the basement and give it a good cleaning, go through cookbooks and plan a fun menu, select games (bocce ball!), pick a park….

I’m more than a little sad that I can’t do all of this right now (darn COVID), and I’m tempted to do part of it because I really do miss picnics. It’s been several years since I’ve been on a proper picnic, which is why having one has been on the to do list for so long.

However, doing “part” is not the point of this nudge. So I’m going to take a look at the really BIG PROJECTS on my list and pick one. Maybe I’ll make a plan for starting a Victory (against COVID) Garden and growing my own salads. Maybe this is the week I do some research on what I’ll need to take a trip to Portugal (someday) and set up a special savings account with a plan for regular small deposits. I might sand and paint an old desk that desperately needs a facelift. Or I could go for one of the projects on my list that gets me closer to achieving a professional goal.

What are you inspired to tackle this week?

Nudging: Ignore the laundry

Backstory: Well, crap. I knew this was coming — heck, I created these nudges! — and have been dreading the day I would pull it from the bowl. That day has come.

This is included because over the past two years I’ve noticed I’ve been been saying more frequently “Laundry is my life.” Sorting, washing, drying, line-drying, ironing, folding, putting away…. It’s meant to be a joke, but it’s not so funny any more.

There was a small part of me that thought just now  “I have until noon — I can do just a few things (aka cheat) to get ahead of this.” But that defeats the purpose of the nudge, so here I go, starting now, I commit to ignoring the laundry for one week.

To keep myself honest, here’s a photo of the basket of clean laundry sitting next to my bed.

laundry before

If all goes well (haha), it will be right here seven days from now. Impossible to know if I’m doing myself a favor or creating a massive headache for myself for next Sunday.

 

Nudging: Set a small goal and blow it away

Backstory: Sure, this is about getting things done. But it’s mostly about developing muscle memory. What does it feel like to start something and finish it? Set a goal and achieve it? To win, to succeed, to exceed my own expectations?

Although I complete personal and professional projects every week (I love deadlines), it seems like it’s been a long time since I’ve experienced a really big win, so I’m going to start with something “small” and get back in the rhythm of winning. My intention is then to set bigger and bigger goals for myself. How exciting!

The example I wrote down for myself when I created The List was building up to holding a plank for one minute.

What might you do this week?

P.S. 52nudges is now on Instagram!

Nudging: Explore 3 new-to-me blogs + comment

Backstory: I’m always looking to expand my horizons, learn something new, challenge myself. This nudge is designed to encourage me to set time aside to actually do it.

Will I discover a new hobby or a company I’d like to work for? Feed a curiosity? Be inspired by someone I admire? All possible.

The uncomfortable part is the commenting. But like with other activities, I’m sure I’ll get more out of the experience if I actually engage.

 

Nudged: Do something I hate

Backstory: “Hate”? Really? Such a strong term. I can think of things I dislike doing, but this seems a bit much.

I looked back at my notes from when I was putting together my list and confirmed this nudge was designed to push me way out of my comfort zone. In part, it’s designed to get me to do something that has been on my to do list forever, and for whatever reason has been put off. Like catching up on the mending (ugh) or weeding the backyard (which looks like a jungle after all the great rain we had earlier this month). Or–and this is a biggie–have new headshots taken. These days, I do not like having my photo taken. At all. Because I am pretty much not happy with how I look. At all.

Maybe there’s something in that last statement I can work with.

How will you nudge yourself this week?

What Happened: I couldn’t come up with anything at the beginning of the week, then was presented with an “opportunity”. Actually, that’s literal. I was offered a great work opportunity, one that checked so many boxes of things I can do well and things I want to do, and it was really really tempting to say “Yes!” But I held off. Something wasn’t…right. Something didn’t feel…authentic for me. I wrestled with my choices, knowing at a very deep level that accepting the offer would be the easy way through. After a few days of agonizing, I listened to my gut, swallowed my pride (because my ego had definitely been stroked), and said, “No. Thank you.”

Immediately I felt a weight lifted. I have a strong sense that I was being “tested”, and by making the right-for-me choice, something else–something better–will come in to fill the open space.

While the process was difficult, it wasn’t something I “hated”.

Okay, so what could I do to complete this nudge? What are things people typically hate doing? Taxes (already done). Deep cleaning the kitchen (ours is in pretty good shape). Ironing. Ironing…huh.

The Ah-Hahs: And that’s when it hit me: I would turn this nudge on its ear. I love ironing! Seriously! It’s a total zen thing for me, in which I work slowly and am rewarded with beautiful results. I love how my nice cotton PJs feel against my skin after they’ve been ironed, and I love how pretty my dish towels look with crisp folds.

So I pulled out the board, iron, and spray bottle, put a chick flick on the TV, and found my calm and happy place.

I loved every moment.

 

Nudged: Memorize a poem

Backstory: I almost used one of my passes on this one. Just not feelin’ it. Then I reminded myself that one of the goals of this 52Nudges program is to push myself a bit when I feel uncomfortable.

When I did this nudge in round one, I memorized my favorite Shakespearean sonnet, #29:

“When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes….”

It was actually pretty fun to re-stretch my memorization and presentation muscles. So here we go again.

Meanwhile, this is a good opportunity to remind everyone that you don’t have to do exactly what I do. Make your own list of nudges and draw one at random each week to do in tandem with me. Or just read along, be impressed when I slay a big nudge (or laugh with me when I “fail”),  and take in inspiration whenever it strikes.

What Happened: My first instinct was to memorize a poem in French. HA! An online review of the most famous French poems quickly put that idea to bed. Waaaaaay too ambitious and beyond my linguistic skills (for now)!

Then I remembered one of the other inspirations I had for this nudge. Last year, on a whim, I checked out Where the Sidewalk Ends from the local library. This collection of truly whimsical poems by Shel Silverstein delighted me as a child, and I was eager to revisit it.

It did not disappoint.

Quite the opposite. It engaged, delighted, tickled, amused, and delighted me some more. I got in the habit of reading a few poems at bedtime, which allowed me to briefly forget the cares of the day and fall asleep with a smile on my face.

So for this nudge, I chose one of my favorites:

Listen to the MUSTN’TS, child,

Listen to the DON’TS.

Listen to the SHOULDN’TS,

The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON’TS.

Listen to the NEVER HAVES,

Then listen close to me–

Anything can happen, child,

ANYTHING can be.

The Ah-Hahs: As I practiced the poem every day this week, I found that it was becoming my new mantra. A reminder as I do creative work that it is my job, my purpose, my responsibility to think beyond the shoulds, musts, and nevers.

That, and I noticed I smiled a lot this week. 🙂

Nudged: Do something backwards

Backstory: This could be fun. 🙂 This nudge was inspired all those self-help articles that encourage us to do things differently, rewire our brains, and break out of our ruts. We might take a different route home. If you always put your left shoe on first, this week start with the right.

Maybe I’ll have dessert first or serve scrambled eggs and waffles for dinner. Or…? I don’t know what I’ll do yet, but I hope to have fun mixing things up.

What Happened: I wish I could tell you I did something wildly creative this week. But the truth is I’m still recovering from a nasty sinus-cold bug I picked up early in the year. As a result, I dragged through the week, getting done whatever I could, but not having much energy left over for wild creativity.

So…I worked with what I had. One morning, instead of jumping out of bed, dashing to the gym, pulling myself together, and focusing on my to dos till I could rest in the evening, I reversed that list. For just the third time in my long career, I got up and stayed in my PJs. I worked for a couple hours, then I went back to bed and got some of the rest I really needed.

The Ah-Hahs: I could be really disappointed about the story of this nudge, but I’m actually kind of proud of myself for coming up with something appropriate–and much needed. And I will say that I was more aware of how I do things during the week. I didn’t just blindly go through the motions of work, household chores, and errands. I thought about each and how I might change things up. I didn’t find any great new way to do things (yet), but it was fun to consider. (By the way, I nixed the idea of starting my grocery shopping in the freezer section and ending in produce. That would have been so messy!)

Meanwhile, for inspiration, here’s a little “Upside Down” from Diana Ross. 🙂