Category Archives: work/career

Nudged: Go to coffeehouse with educational book; learn something new

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Backstory: The full title of this Nudge is “Go to a coffeehouse with an educational book and learn something new.” I’m laughing as I type this. It made for a looong strip of paper for my Nudges jar. But I knew when I included it on The List, I wanted it to be more than simply “Learn something new.”

The inspiration for this Nudge came from a client project I worked on early in the year. It involved a topic–an industry, really–I knew nothing about. I requested a couple of suggestions for books from the client and immersed myself in study. For a couple of intense days, I read, took notes, thought deeply, and then applied what I’d learned to the work.

It was…fun.

I’m looking forward to challenging my brain this week. This is also an excuse to get out of my office, and away from the distractions, so that I can again practice focusing on just one topic at a time.

What Happened: My original plan was to get something at the library, but I found myself at my favorite neighborhood bookshop on Monday with a little extra cash in my pocket, so decided to treat myself to something new. I browsed several sections, including art (maybe), gardening (um, no), cooking (already have too many cookbooks), philosophy (too intense), and U.S. history (I think I know most of this). I ended up in world history, where I briefly considered learning more about the kings of France (cop out!), but instead selected Searching for the Amazons: The Real Warrior Women of the Ancient World by John Man.

Omg, what did I get myself into? Would it be dry and boring? Would it be cheesy or sexist? That afternoon, I cracked it open over lunch and was relieved to discover Man’s writing is approachable, engaging, and delightful.

On Wednesday, I had an appointment with one of my doctors. I left home early and tucked myself into a cozy corner at a bakery across the street that I’d noticed on previous visits. I dove into the book and started taking notes. I was introduced to the long nomadic human history in the “steppes“, the grasslands of Asia. I mumbled “Wow!” (sometimes louder than etiquette dictates) over trivia such as how humans learned how to ride horses sometime around 3500 BC, but the first iron stirrups weren’t introduced till about the 2nd century AD “because a rope looped round the toe did the job.” (Wow.) Back in my office, I googled to learn more about what I’d read, including the famous statue of Athena that once stood in the Parthenon, and the temple to Apollo in Skliros, and the Bassae Frieze, which can now be seen in the British Museum. And Pentheslia, the Amazon warrior who was killed by Achilles….

I am completely geeking out, in the best possible way. 🙂

The Ah-Hahs: One of the aspects I love about my job is I’m constantly learning new things. One of the drawbacks is those topics aren’t always of my choosing. Picking up something pretty random and diving in this week was really fun. I felt…challenged, energized, reawakened, inspired. I enjoyed being a “student” again. So, maybe it’s time to take a closer look at the upcoming class schedule at city college. And then I need to start saving for trips to Greece and England and….

 

Nudging: Go to coffeehouse with educational book; learn something new

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Backstory: The full title of this Nudge is “Go to a coffeehouse with an educational book and learn something new.” I’m laughing as I type this. It made for a looong strip of paper for my Nudges jar. But I knew when I included it on The List, I wanted it to be more than simply “Learn something new.”

The inspiration for this Nudge came from a client project I worked on early in the year. It involved a topic–an industry, really–I knew nothing about. I requested a couple of suggestions for books from the client and immersed myself in study. For a couple of intense days, I read, took notes, thought deeply, and then applied what I’d learned to the work.

It was…fun.

I’m looking forward to challenging my brain this week. This is also an excuse to get out of my office, and away from the distractions, so that I can again practice focusing on just one topic at a time.

 

Nudged: Limit my mobile phone time

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Backstory: I feel like I just did this Nudge. Oh, wait! That was cutting back on social media. Same thing? Sort of. For me I think this one is about focus, about not letting the phone distract me from the things I want to do. So the plan is to designate times when I can check and return messages, rather than being at its mercy 24/7.

What Happened: I started the work week with the intention of only checking voicemail and text messages, and returning any messages, at the beginning of my day (8 am), when I broke for lunch (noonish), and when I wrapped up the day and closed up my office (6…7ish). The big surprise? I didn’t need to do this.

I’m not tied to my phone. I don’t play games on it. I don’t check emails or newsflashes or how my latest post on Facebook is being received. I keep it with me during the day in case a client needs to reach me, but this week there weren’t any urgent calls; we communicated through emails and scheduled times for future chats. I also don’t take it with me to meals, and it stays in my office when I go to bed, so those distractions don’t apply.

The Ah-Hahs: As I reflected on this week’s Nudge, I wondered how it made it onto my List. I think…I think I just got caught up in the hype. There are so many articles and opinion pieces circulating in the world today about how we’re not really connecting, how we’re having closer relationships with our gadgets than with our friends and family members. I suppose I wanted to make sure that wasn’t happening with me.

It’s not.

In fact, as I paid attention to how I use my phone this week, I noticed how it allows me to do quick “Thinking of you!” check-ins with very busy people in my life. With different apps, I can reach friends across all time zones with no worries about long-distance charges. It also enables me to keep in touch with dear ones of very different generations: I call the Boomers, I FaceTime with Millennials. I’m grateful for all of this.

So, while at first I thought this Nudge was a “dud” for me, I’m actually considering it a “win”. Yay, me!

Nudging: Limit my mobile phone time

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Backstory: I feel like I just did this Nudge. Oh, wait! That was cutting back on social media. Same thing? Sort of. For me I think this one is about focus, about not letting the phone distract me from the things I want to do. So the plan is to designate times when I can check and return messages, rather than being at its mercy 24/7.

Nudged: Send a handwritten thank you note to a client, boss, or coworker

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Backstory: I never had a formal mentor, but I have met several people throughout my career who have taught me by example And while I know I’ve thanked clients for work sent my way (“Thank you for your business!” is written on every invoice), I think it’s time to go a little deeper and truly acknowledge someone for who they are and what they’ve done for me.

As always, do this nudge in a way that works for you. Thank a coworker for her great attitude. Thank the woman who tirelessly coordinates your book club’s meetings or mom group’s get-togethers. Tell a neighbor his garden inspires you to keep trying to coax viable things out of your front yard.

I am a believer in handwritten notes, as they feel more personal to me. But a text message or email will work just fine.

Who do you need to appreciate?

What Happened: I spent a couple of days going through my memories of people who have helped me along the way. There were two women who, independently, took chances on me early in my career and hired me for jobs I felt were far beyond my skills and experience; those same women then acknowledged and celebrated me when I succeeded. (I am full of warm fuzzies just thinking about them.) There have been countless graphic designers who took the words I provided and communicated them visually; combined, our work became more effective. I have been so fortunate to have been a part of teams of true collaborators.

Finally I settled on one woman who taught me, by her example, how to be a manager of projects and people. I pulled out my nicest stationery, explained why I was thinking of her, expressed my gratitude and appreciation, and sealed it with a kiss. (Not really. I used a pretty wax seal.)

And then I thought of a second person, so I repeated the process.

The Ah-Hahs: While I hope the recipients of my notes will be pleased to receive them, I fully recognize this nudge is for me. I’m not sure I’ve ever reviewed and catalogued the wins of the past several years of my career. At this turning point, as I consider what I want to do next, it felt good – it felt smart – to acknowledge for myself what I’ve learned and accomplished.

This week’s nudge also reminded me of the good things that came with the work: the high you get when you work with people who inspire and challenge you to bring your A game; the excitement when, as a group, you come up with the perfect creative solution to a problem; the elation when a job is completed and you know it was done well.

I’m holding onto these feelings as I seek and consider new opportunities, as I evaluate the people I want to work with and learn from. Because I want more, please.

Nudging: Send a handwritten thank you note to a client, boss, or coworker

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Backstory: I never had a formal mentor, but I have met several people throughout my career who have taught me by example And while I know I’ve thanked clients for work sent my way (“Thank you for your business!” is written on every invoice), I think it’s time to go a little deeper and truly acknowledge someone for who they are and what they’ve done for me.

As always, do this nudge in a way that works for you. Thank a coworker for her great attitude. Thank the woman who tirelessly coordinates your book club’s meetings or mom group’s get-togethers. Tell a neighbor his garden inspires you to keep trying to coax viable things out of your front yard.

I am a believer in handwritten notes, as they feel more personal to me. But a text message or email will work just fine.

Who do you need to appreciate?

Nudged: No Facebook or online news for 1 week

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Backstory: I signed up to work with a nutritionist last year, to fine-tune what foods (vs. fads) work best for my system for losing weight and maintaining good health. I figured I’d be told to count calories, make adjustments to intake of carbs/fats/proteins, and amp up and create more variety in my exercise routines. So I was surprised to see “limit social media” on her list of recommendations. “It’s a source of stress,” she explained (Duh, I thought at the time), “and that contributes to how our bodies function,” including how we process calories and hang on to excess weight.

I’ve since talked with a number of friends who have received similar advice when seeking to develop healthier lifestyles, including one friend who was assigned “zero social media” for a three-month period while working through some challenges with a therapist.

There’s something to this, so I thought I’d try it out.

What Happened: One of the key guidelines for the nudges I give myself is each has to be, in some way, “uncomfortable”. On a scale of one to 10, this felt like a nine.

I drew this just before noon on Sunday, and my first thought was “I have a few minutes to check everything before this starts!”

How sick is that? I resisted the urge, taped the strip of paper with the nudge on top of my week’s calendar, and went about my day.

Monday 6 am I faced a rude awakening. I realized I have an almost unconscious routine when I first hit my desk in the mornings: Dear Abby, People online, local news, international news, Facebook. I resisted the urge and went to work, and all was fine till I was working on a project for a client and discovered a link about something they’re doing that I wanted to share on my FB business page. “This is work,” I told myself, “it doesn’t count.” And “I’ll just schedule it to run later, but I won’t look at anything else.” Riiight.

I scribbled a note in my calendar for this coming Monday to circle back to it. Would it have been easier and more time-efficient to just get it done? Probably. But that’s not what this week’s nudge is about.

Thor (the code name for my darling husband) emailed me in the afternoon: “Check out this story in the Chronicle!” Maybe if I just read that one story…. But I knew it would lead down the rabbit hole to other links, so I explained why I couldn’t and asked him to give me the highlights over dinner, which he did.

Tuesday was easier. I didn’t feel compelled to launch into my morning routine of checking all my sources.

By end of week, it was no big deal. I noticed that I did feel calmer, even more focused. Huh.

However….

Ah-Hahs: If I’m being completely honest (and I am), I must admit that I filled some of that “free” time with (cringe) online Solitaire. WTH?! This is not something I do. This is not ME. But there you have it. I am not proud of myself.

I took a hard look at “Why do I feel the need to numb myself? What am I avoiding?”

Late Thursday night I spent some time journaling about these questions. Here’s a short list of what came up for me:

  • Facing the losses that have appeared recently in my professional life, resulting in open spaces I don’t know how I’m ever going to fill.
  • Fearing that I’m “done” being a contributing member of society.
  • Feeling I am a burden to my husband.
  • Dreading the overwhelm of BIG projects that seem “impossible” to complete.

I reached out to a wise friend, shared with her some of what was going on in my life, and she told me what I already knew: I need to grieve my losses.

So Friday morning I started my day with an intention to “sit” with my grief.

Only I didn’t. When presented with a chunk of free time between projects, I opened up the Solitaire site.

I can quit any time I want.

This, I acknowledge, is a problem. Maybe not life-threatening, but I know it’s not healthy.

I’m not sure what to do with all this yet, but I consider this nudge a “win” for forcing me to acknowledge this – and do something about it.

I need figure out how to be the queen of my own heart. (Fabulous deck of cards designed by Ambidextrous Studio at http://ambistudio.com/.)

P.S. Avoidance can present in many forms of addiction. If you are reading this and thinking about how you’ve been using an unhealthy substance to numb out, please consider this your nudge to ask for help. If a licensed therapist is beyond your means, contact a clergy person or trusted friend.

Nudged: Go through one bookshelf

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Backstory: Hello! And welcome to 52Nudges 2.0! Today is #1 of 52 nudges, and I’m excited to jump in. Thank you for joining me!

The process is simple: Each Sunday around noon, I draw at random a task/challenge from The List. (Read all the possibilities and see the bowl in this post from last week.) In the following days, I do my best to complete the task, while taking note of what the process reveals for me. My intention is to nudge myself out of my old routines, discover who I am and who I am becoming, and open myself up to new experiences and opportunities.

This morning I drew: Go through one bookshelf. I’m going to pick one (probably one in my office), pull everything out, dust and polish the actual shelf, then consider what I want to replace. Maybe I’ll discover a lost “treasure” hidden behind the clutter, or maybe I’ll decide to toss/share/recycle what’s there and fill the space with something new that feels more authentically me.

Bookshelves all in order? Then you might rearrange the stuff on top of your desk or go through the old packets of seeds in the gardening shed or face the very scary “junk drawer”. Let me know what you find!

What Happened: As I considered which shelf to clear, I was repeatedly drawn to one that has housed–for years–several binders of research, brainstorms, and notes for one client. A client that I have sensed for some time is no longer a fit for me. I have needed to cut the ties, but have hesitated. I know the work, so it’s easy to do. I want to be a helpful, especially when my primary contact at the company calls for a favor.

As I looked at the full shelf, I realized I was looking at the past. And right now, I want to be looking forward to my future, whatever that might be. So…. I pulled everything out and started shredding.

After I dusted and polished, I left the shelf open for a couple of days while I thought about what I might want to go there. Finally I filled it with workbooks, flashcards, and reference books from when I took lessons in French. I should mention that these materials have sat neglected in a tote bag, in a corner of my office, for like 10 years. Now they are front and center again. Now, when I look at that shelf, I hope to be inspired and motivated to do something with them.

The Ah-Hahs: In preparation for this round of nudges, I took a look at things I loved to do as a kid and younger adult, as well as things I would love to try or do more often. Get back to learning French has long held a place on my personal to do list. Classes are not in my budget at this moment, but some day. Meanwhile, I can dip my toe in with the flashcards or by doing an exercise in my old workbooks once in a while. I’m excited about this.

The other ah-hah came while shredding. While the tendency was to dwell in the “loss” of the old client, I chose to shift my attitude and give thanks. I thought about the incredible work I was fortunate to do. I recalled how it felt to be part of a thriving, truly creative collaboration. I felt tremendous gratitude for the enduring friendships I gained over the years. I felt good and light as a result, feeling I had decluttered not only stuff, but negative emotions.

And now I have space into which something new can come.

 

Nudging: Go through one bookshelf

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Backstory: Hello! And welcome to 52Nudges 2.0! Today is #1 of 52 nudges, and I’m excited to jump in. Thank you for joining me!

The process is simple: Each Sunday around noon, I draw at random a task/challenge from The List. (Read all the possibilities and see the bowl in this post from last week.) In the following days, I do my best to complete the task, while taking note of what the process reveals for me. My intention is to nudge myself out of my old routines, discover who I am and who I am becoming, and open myself up to new experiences and opportunities.

This morning I drew: Go through one bookshelf. I’m going to pick one (probably one in my office), pull everything out, dust and polish the actual shelf, then consider what I want to replace. Maybe I’ll discover a lost “treasure” hidden behind the clutter, or maybe I’ll decide to toss/share/recycle what’s there and fill the space with something new that feels more authentically me.

Bookshelves all in order? Then you might rearrange the stuff on top of your desk or go through the old packets of seeds in the gardening shed or face the very scary “junk drawer”. Let me know what you find!

Nudged: Finalize The List 2.0

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Backstory: We’re almost there! For the past few weeks I’ve been doing exercises to come up with nudges. (Scroll back through those posts if you want to do them too.) I have a long list of challenges that encompasses Passion & Play, Creativity, Spiritual Growth, Work, Self-Care, Home Care, and miscellaneous fun stuff.

Now it’s time to cut it down.

This week I’m going to read through my list and consider if each proposed nudge fits the following criteria:

  • Is this something I can do in one week’s time?
  • Is it inexpensive?
  • Does it make me uncomfortable? (It should.)
  • Is it fun? (Most should have some element of fun.)

What Happened: Here it is! The List for 52Nudges 2.0.

  • Assemble a gift basket for myself
  • Bake cookies
  • Book 4 hikes/walks with 4 different friends
  • Browse a clothing consignment shop
  • Buy a nice new dishtowel
  • Buy two bunches of flowers – one for me, one for a friend
  • Claim my “Bread”
  • Clean out my makeup box
  • Compliment a stranger
  • Create a chalk message on the front sidewalk
  • Curate my own film series
  • Do a Fairy Deed
  • Do a favor for a friend
  • Do something backwards
  • Do something crafty
  • Do something I hate
  • Do something patriotic
  • Do something that scares me
  • Donate
  • Enjoy a fire in the fireplace
  • Exhale
  • Explore a used bookstore, spend just $10
  • Explore/read 3 new-to-me blogs + comment
  • Find my new signature scent
  • Get to know one great female artist
  • Give a book to a Free Library Box
  • Give in to an impulse that gives me joy
  • Go on a date night at new-to-us bar
  • Go through one bookshelf
  • Go to a park, do nothing for 30 minutes
  • Go to coffee house with an educational book and learn something new
  • Go to the beach
  • Have lunch outside
  • Ignore the laundry
  • Immerse myself in one big project
  • Investigate free programs and put one on the calendar
  • Invite someone “new” to coffee
  • Iron. Seriously, iron.
  • Jump rope
  • Keep a gratitude journal for 7 days x10
  • Learn how to sign a fun phrase in American Sign Language
  • Learn something about my city’s history
  • Learn something from a YouTube video
  • Let something go
  • Limit my mobile phone time
  • Make a list of cities I want to visit; pick one to explore
  • Make a pie or tart
  • Make a plan to visit Krista
  • Make and decorate a cake
  • Memorize a poem
  • No complaining, no whining x7
  • Notice something
  • Phone a friend
  • Pick something from Big To Do List, break it down
  • Plate our dinners
  • Play dress-up
  • Practice scientific prayer
  • Purge the underwear drawer
  • Re-memorize the 50 state capitols
  • Read through an old journal
  • Room by room, tidy the house
  • Say “yes” to something new
  • Schedule a game night
  • Schedule a long phone chat with a friend
  • Send a handwritten thank you note to a client, boss, or coworker
  • Set a small goal and blow it away
  • Sit (and sweat) in a sauna
  • Spiff up my nightstand
  • Splurge on something for me
  • Take 1 photo/day of something that makes me happy
  • Take a hard look at my calendar and carve out time for me
  • Take a weeklong break from Facebook or online news
  • Take journal to coffee house for 1 hour
  • Thank a writer, artist, or musician
  • Throw a spontaneous party
  • Treat my feet
  • Try a new cocktail recipe
  • Use the good body lotion every night
  • Use the good china
  • Use the good silver x2
  • Wander Joann’s fabric/craft store
  • Wear different shoes every day
  • Wipe down the kitchen cabinets
  • Work 2 hours in a remote space
  • Wrap gifts
  • Write “thinking of you” postcards to 5 old friends

I printed it out, cut it into strips, scrunched each strip into a little ball, and loaded them into my special bowl. Each Sunday, starting in three days, I’ll pick one nudge and tackle it during the week.

This list is yours to use, too, if you wish. Feel free to print it out and cut it into strips. Or create your own list, or create a mix of mine+yours. (For inspiration, check recent posts for exercises that will help you develop your own nudges.)

The other options are to simply follow along and do Nudges with me, or read along and take in inspiration whenever it hits. It’s never too late to join in and there’s no “right” way to do it.

Ah-Hahs: It was challenging at times to decide what stays and what goes. You’ll notice that there are more than 52 nudges on The List, and that’s intentional. I want to always have options, I want to always feel surprised.

As I went through this last step, my overall feeling was excitement. I’m looking forward to being delighted and challenged by each nudge. I’m ready to do this, and I hope you’ll join me.

52Nudges 2.0 starts Sunday, September 8!

See you back here Sunday morning!

 

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