Backstory: The idea for this nudge came from the book The Sermon on the Mount by Emmet Fox. It basically comes down to embracing the fact that God (Mother Earth, the Universe–whatever term you choose) always provides. “Bread” in this instance may be actual bread, though it really means everything we require for a healthy, happy, free, and harmonious life.
Then it’s a little more. It’s a call to stop being so stubbornly self-sufficient. And that’s what intrigued me, so I thought I’d explore it. Do I need to work on stopping all the doing in my life? (Yes.) Do I need to allow some good to come to me for a change? (Yes.)
Last year, a close friend was rushed to the emergency room and received a very scary diagnosis. I was terrified, and I desperately wanted to do something to help her and her family. She, naturally, resisted at first. We’re grownups, we’re proud people, we can take care of ourselves–right? I told her I understood, for I saw myself in her. I asked her to allow me to step up, and she finally accepted. It felt really really good to be there for her, even in small ways. She has since recovered, and I am reminded that my friends would like the opportunity to give to me on occasion too. Sometimes we can give each other the gift of giving to each other. I know that last sentence is a bit of a tangle, but when I break it down, it makes sense to me.
I’m not sure where this nudge will take me, and I’m eager to try it out.
What Happened: Careful what you wish for!
Early Monday morning, while making breakfast for me and my guys, I dropped a pan full of hot grease on my bare foot. Thor was home, and we were able to treat it immediately. No trip to the ER, no blisters. It could have been so much worse, and I feel really lucky.
However… I spent all of Monday and Tuesday with my foot stuck in a pot of cold water to keep it from blistering and keep the swelling down. Any time I moved (office to couch, couch to office), that pot went with me. And since I am still unable to put on a shoe, I’m home-bound.
That’s one way to kick prideful self-sufficiency to the curb!
Rest and healing became the only goals of my week, so that’s what I focused on. I did get some client work done, and then I took the time gifted to me to do some internal work. I thought about how I have recently blocked my creativity by filling my time with doings–admin work, housework, busy work. There are other things I want to really devote my time and energy to.
So I pulled a book about breaking through creative blocks out of my stack and got to work, my work. I’m starting with a self-commitment to choose projects that feel “100% Kath.” I wrote that on my big white board: 100% Kath.
It’s a start. I’m ready to claim all my good.
The Ah-Hahs: So…the other thing that happened…. I took myself outside for lunch today (inspired by the nudge from a few weeks ago) and noticed the blueberry bush. The full-of-ripe-berries blueberry bush!
I have done nothing to deserve or earn this other than occasionally remembering to give it some water, and yet here it is, bursting with gifts to give me. Another reminder that God always provides–and often gives us more than we asked for. We just have to claim it–or, in this case, harvest it! 🙂