Backstory: I think my original idea was to use this space in my office—the big white board I have on one wall and look at every day—to visualize something I want in my life. I’m not entirely sure what I meant by “x5”. Could be I wanted to draw a new image each day of the work week, or am I supposed to draw five different images that represent one dream? I’ll figure it out.
Please remember, I am a writer, not an artist, so don’t expect this to be pretty. 🙂 I hope this Nudge will be fun—and fruitful!
What Happened: I brainstormed what I might want to manifest. Breaking my Life into categories, I noted a few things under each. For Work, I want to finish a big personal project (maybe draw images of the final printed version). For Mind/Body, I want to reach that long-sought-after goal weight (I envisioned drawings of the scale with my “magic” number) and get in some replenishing naps. For self-care, I want to be gifted with some really nice PJs, both cozy flannels and something that feels feminine and luxurious.
Really? These are the big “dreams” I want to manifest for myself? Who is this person?!?
I took a step back mid-week to mull this over. Sure, things like winning the lottery so that I could feel financially secure would be lovely, and taking steps toward being more financially secure is a worthy goal. But a “dream”? Hardly.
Where did my big dreams go? What happened to being recognized for my creative work and feeling successful and finding true love? (That last item on my bucket list got checked off, by the way.) None of the items on my initial list are the least bit exciting. How depressing is this?
It crossed my mind that 50-something women don’t dream. The Big Things in Life are those we hope for in our 20s and 30s, when fame and fortune and achievement and recognition seemed all-important. I don’t, honestly, want to be living a Rich & Famous lifestyle, but every March I still imagine my Oscar acceptance speech (“I’d like to thank the Academy…”).
The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to imagine manifesting something “impossible”. So here’s what I ended up drawing:
Starting at top left, my rendition of the Pulitzer Prize Gold Medal, followed by my work at #1 on The New York Times’ Best Sellers List, and at the bottom a check for $250,000.00.
What this represents to me is being recognized for my writing, for my creativity, for my connecting people through my work. I have no idea what kind of work this might be, but I don’t feel that’s my job right now. My job is to state (or draw) my wishes to the Universe, then step back and let the Universe do its thing.
The Ah-Hah: Honestly, I felt disappointed in myself this week. I want to dream big again. I want to feel inspired and motivated and excited. What will it take to do this? I don’t know yet, but I’m determined to find that “impossible” goal and have fun going for it.