Tag Archives: change

Nudged: Have a cup of coffee/glass of wine on the front porch

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Backstory: Many years ago, upon returning home from a vacation in France, I thought about what had been so special about our experiences–specifically, what were some practices or rituals I could continue back at home. One that had a huge impact was how we eased into dinnertime.

For several weeks after that trip, instead of my usual dash from office to kitchen at 6:00 pm (or 7 or 8), I made a point of slowing down, breathing, pouring something lovely (wine or Pellegrino with a slice of lime), then sipping that while nibbling a few olives or cubes of delicious and aromatic cheese. I’d like to resume this practice and make it a habit.

Maybe I’ll take in a sunset, or maybe I’ll get up with the sun. I plan to sit on our front porch; you might step into your backyard or ease into a chair with a lovely view. Whatever the circumstances, let’s be intentional about taking a few minutes to rest and reset ourselves.

What Happened: Inspired, I got up early one morning and sat in the quiet. Birdsong, clear skies, a steaming cup of tea (it’s what I was in the mood for), and Louie by my side. What a beautiful way to start the day.

The Ah-Hahs: No surprises with this Nudge, just reminders of how lovely my front porch is and how good it feels to sit here for a while and enjoy it.

 

Nudged: Paint sample squares on the office wall

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Backstory: My office is in our home, and it’s an incredible space. Big bay window that looks out over our backyard. Mementos of past projects on the walls. A huge pine desk. And now a puppy pen in the corner. For years I’ve wanted to give it a makeover. I want color, I want pizzazz, I want something that represents my best self. I want it to look not just like a spare room that serves as an office, but as a truly beautiful creative space.

To that end, a couple of years ago I picked up sample bottles of paint to try out. This is the week I find them (they’re somewhere in the basement) and paint those squares on the wall so I can live with them and figure out what color I want my walls to be.

Thor and I have done this before. We completely changed the look and feel of our dining and living rooms with color. I also know that this is the gateway to more TLC for our home. Painting the walls is the first step that will eventually lead to nice curtains, a rug without holes, and lighting fixtures that don’t date back to the 1970s.

I’m excited to finally get this project started.

Lots of options for making this Nudge your own. Maybe you pick up some of those paper color swatches and start with that. Or browse online and create a Pinterest gallery for a new couch/reading chair/bathtub. Or fix one small thing in your home that has been on the to-do list for a while. If you need inspiration, check out Apartment Therapy, a site I’ve been following recently for motivation on decluttering.

Pick one small step in the larger project and get it done. Let’s show our homes some TLC this week.

What Happened: OMG, I actually did this! I had every excuse ready to flake on this Nudge. I even spent part of my lunch break on Tuesday snooping around Sherwin-Williams‘s website and playing with their “visualizer,” telling myself this would count as completing the Nudge.

But dangit, I’ve put this off long enough. I did, in fact, find those two sample bottles in the basement and was embarrassed to discover I didn’t buy them “a couple of years ago” but in February…2015. How long has “spiff up my office” been on my Wish and To-Do lists? Too long.

So this afternoon I took advantage of the puppy’s nap time and got to work.

Pretty, right? That’s Butter Up on the left, Jonquil on the right. They’re on the wall that I face when I’m at my desk, and I plan to live with them for a while, to see how they look in different lighting during the day, to see which one feels right. Or maybe I’ll decide to branch out and try something totally different. I have to say, there is a light, almost gray, lavender that caught my eye when I was browsing the website.

The Ah-Hahs: Painting these squares + clean-up took less than 10 minutes. I’m kinda beating myself up for putting this off for seven years! But it’s done, and I’m excited to move forward to next steps: choosing my palette, finding a coordinating rug + curtains + lamps. I’m also reminding myself that this is my Process for achieving things, a skill set I haven’t used in a while: Break a big goal/dream into small steps and do one by one till it’s complete. It feels good to be moving forward.

The other ah-hah is I noticed how calming the physical painting was. My breathing naturally aligned with my brush strokes. The colors lifted my spirit. I’m smiling right now as I look at these two colors.

Isn’t it fun when a Nudge turns out to be packed with unexpected gifts?

P.S. What do you think: Butter Up or Jonquil or…?

Nudging: Paint sample squares on the office wall

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Backstory: My office is in our home, and it’s an incredible space. Big bay window that looks out over our backyard. Mementos of past projects on the walls. A huge pine desk. And now a puppy pen in the corner. For years I’ve wanted to give it a makeover. I want color, I want pizzazz, I want something that represents my best self. I want it to look not just like a spare room that serves as an office, but as a truly beautiful creative space.

To that end, a couple of years ago I picked up sample bottles of paint to try out. This is the week I find them (they’re somewhere in the basement) and paint those squares on the wall so I can live with them and figure out what color I want my walls to be.

Thor and I have done this before. We completely changed the look and feel of our dining and living rooms with color. I also know that this is the gateway to more TLC for our home. Painting the walls is the first step that will eventually lead to nice curtains, a rug without holes, and lighting fixtures that don’t date back to the 1970s.

I’m excited to finally get this project started.

Lots of options for making this Nudge your own. Maybe you pick up some of those paper color swatches and start with that. Or browse online and create a Pinterest gallery for a new couch/reading chair/bathtub. Or fix one small thing in your home that has been on the to-do list for a while. If you need inspiration, check out Apartment Therapy, a site I’ve been following recently for motivation on decluttering.

Pick one small step in the larger project and get it done. Let’s show our homes some TLC this week.

Nudged: Ignore the news for 1 full week

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Backstory: Pretty straightforward this one. By ignoring the news this week, I hope to lower my blood pressure and maybe focus on more joy in the world. Fingers crossed.

What Happened: Well, this was HARD! I jumped right in, committed to sticking to my plan, but “news” is everywhere. Monday morning it distracted me at the gym. (Just try focusing on anything other than the hanging TV screens in front of you while you’re stuck on the elliptical.) And it feels like everything counts as news. Is it okay to check the weather app? (Not if I end up looking at weather-related stories — like power outages and catastrophic flooding.) Does keeping up with posts on Instagram count? (Yes, but some had to be checked for work.) Dang! I found myself looking for loopholes!

When I got stressed, I wanted to “relax” with a “break.” When I got bored, ditto. When friends forwarded interesting articles, I wanted desperately to stay informed and reply with my opinions; instead, I set them aside to look at next week. When “BREAKING NEWS” arrived in my email inbox, I could have given in and gotten my celebrity fix, but I got better at moving it to trash before getting sucked in.

I stuck with it, acknowledging the tug to “just look for a moment” and then pulling myself away. Altogether, I felt I completed this Nudge successfully and…

The Ah-Hahs: It got easier with each new day. The attraction lost its appeal, especially as I started to register how less stressed I was. This is in big part due to my noticing how much time I waste looking at mostly garbage, how much energy I waste getting worked up over all the triggering messages that come my way. This was a great Nudge for Radical Self-Care.

Will I slide back into old bad habits next week? I hope not. I don’t think so. I really do feel better having had this break from the 24/7 news cycle.

Nudged: Put $5 into 4 random pockets

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Backstory: My friend Candace introduced me to this practice many years ago, and it’s been ages since I’ve last done it. You know how we get so stressed about money (usually the lack of it)? Well, this is one way to be delighted by money for a change (interesting pun–hehe!). Here’s how it works:

  1. Get four bills ($1, $5, $20 — whatever you can swing)
  2. “Hide” each of the bills in a different pocket, or in something you don’t plan on opening for some time. The first time I did this, it was summer and I put the bills in the pockets of different winter coats. You might also slip them inside books you plan to read, in the back of a drawer you rarely open — any place you’re likely to forget about for a while.

That’s it! A few months from now, you’ll reach into that pocket and SURPRISE! Then do something nice for yourself with it.

What Happened: Interestingly, it was a little challenging getting four $5 bills. I had to go to two places to get change!

With four “Abes” in hand, I spent a couple of days thinking about where I might hide them. Since my coats are in active rotation right now, that didn’t make sense. Old purses? Between the pages in big, serious books I really should read (but keep getting passed over for fun stories)? Then…huh…what about those jeans I’ve been using to monitor my current weight-loss efforts?

Tucked in the back of my closet are three pairs of nice jeans I am hoping to get back into before the year ends. It will feel sooooo good to slip them back on, knowing I have achieved significant goals, so why not double-down on the joy and happiness when I discover a bonus prize in the pockets?

That took care of three bills. The last I finally tucked deep inside a box of postcards. I will definitely forget about this, and it will be super-fun when I finally find it and reward myself for my good deeds of keeping in touch with people.

The Ah-Hahs: This Nudge is a little different than others, in that I won’t get the pay-off (what is with me and puns this week?!) for some time. However, I had fun doing this. As I hid each bill, I imagined how delighted I will be when I discover it, and that emotion took hold of me now. And that is what I wanted to get with this Nudge: to link money and happiness right now. Ch-ching!

Nudging: Put $5 into 4 random pockets

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Backstory: My friend Candace introduced me to this practice many years ago, and it’s been ages since I’ve last done it. You know how we get so stressed about money (usually the lack of it)? Well, this is one way to be delighted by money for a change (interesting pun–hehe!). Here’s how it works:

  1. Get four bills ($1, $5, $20 — whatever you can swing)
  2. “Hide” each of the bills in a different pocket, or in something you don’t plan on opening for some time. The first time I did this, it was summer and I put the bills in the pockets of different winter coats. You might also slip them inside books you plan to read, in the back of a drawer you rarely open — any place you’re likely to forget about for a while.

That’s it! A few months from now, you’ll reach into that pocket and SURPRISE! Then do something nice for yourself with it.

Nudged: Explore a new used-book store, spend just $10

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Backstory: Of all things, this Nudge was inspired by a character in a book I read last year (wish I could remember the title). The character would only read books he could purchase for $5 or less. What an interesting challenge! I also love that this Nudge is a way to support a local small business.

Speaking of great small bookshops, I’d like to give a shout-out to Dudley’s in Bend, Oregon. In their cozy space, they offer new and used books, as well as an espresso bar. This fabulous staircase (pictured) leads to the seating area.

What happened: I know this is partly due to COVID shutdowns, but it has been ages since I’ve been able to just browse, and it takes all my willpower to not stock up on books online. But with this Nudge in mind, I was determined to pick up something for less than $10 for myself.

I did a reconnaissance of the space, checking out the various sections—travel, local history, mysteries—before deciding to focus on fiction. Mixing things up, I began perusing the shelves at the end of the alphabet. At first it was fun to see titles of books I’ve already read and be reminded of the pleasure they gave me. Then I stumbled upon one that looked familiar. I was pretty sure the title was on my list of recommendations from friends, but I couldn’t remember reading it. I pulled it out, and sure enough, it was something on my To-Read List—and it was only $5. I also found the perfect pick-me-up gift for a friend, a novel by a local author I think she’ll love. And the price was just $5—wahoo!

Can I also add, it felt really good to pay in cash.

 

Ah-Hahs: Stop and enjoy. Not scrolling online, not buying based on reviews, but seeing and holding the actual books. What a tactile, thoughtful treat.

I wasn’t in the shop long, but it was such a pleasant and calming experience that it recalibrated my day. And I didn’t have to spend a fortune. I’m quite pleased by the fact that I got all this for so little.

Nudged: Eliminate (or delegate) a big responsibility

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Backstory: I groaned when I read this Nudge, and I almost put it back for my first Pass. This nudge presents at the start of one of the busiest work weeks for me—oh, plus Christmas. Everything on my massive to-do list is a “MUST-DO”, and at a quick glance, everything in there can only be done by me.

Or…?

My intention to practice more Radical Self-Care is behind this Nudge. When I added it to the List, I set the intention that I would be on the lookout for tasks that suck my time and energy, things I overdo or overthink that ultimately aren’t healthy. I’m not going to drop the ball on taking care of my family, meeting all the tight client deadlines, making sure bills get paid on time, and carve out time for exercise and sleep. At this moment, I honestly don’t know what could be eliminated or delegated, but I am accepting this Nudge and trusting something will come to mind.

What Happened: I mulled this one over throughout Sunday and into Monday. I considered putting off the laundry for a day or two, but then I wouldn’t have clean gym clothes, which means I couldn’t go to the gym, which means I can’t do the exercising that is so important to my well-being. (What was that I said about “overthinking” in the Backstory?)

Mid-morning I got an idea. Instead of heading out for a massive grocery shopping, I would try online ordering and delivery. I haven’t had great luck in the past (the time lettuce was “out of stock” and I had to rush out last minute to another store to get what I needed for that night’s dinner party comes to mind—who runs out of lettuce?!), but maybe everything would fall into place this time. I grabbed my list off the fridge, pulled up the website, and got to work. The ordering part went pretty quickly, and I got a reasonable window for delivery. But then, shortly before delivery I got an email that they were out of two items (and I had requested substitutions!). Fortunately, these were not items I needed right away, but this does mean I’ll have to physically go to the market later this week.

Delegating this task did save me some time, so I’ll call this a win.

Ah-Hahs: Did this save me stress? I’m not really sure how I feel about this nudge, so I allowed myself a little extra time to mull it over. Yes, my choice to hand over this responsibility saved me getting fully dressed and taking time to go to the market and load+unload the car. But some days, the only time I get away from my desk and out of the house is when I run errands like this. (Thanks, COVID.) And I typically enjoy shopping for groceries, seeing what’s in season, getting inspired.

I think what I mostly got out of this is my need to re-stretch my nudging muscles and live into the discomfort that comes when I “give things up” to take better care of myself. This is becoming especially important at work. Do I really have to do it all by myself? What can I delegate? Who can I bring on board my “team”? Is it time to hire a VA?

There are things I can delegate. I just have to get a little creative with it.

Anyone else have an interesting experience with this nudge? Please share in Comments.

Nudged: Accessorize, Baby!

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Backstory: This Nudge was inspired by my need to clean out my closet, and by how much fun I had late in 52Nudges 2.0 when I played dress-up for a week. (Revisit that post here.) I also seriously need to break out of my rut of wearing workout clothes all day long. (Thanks again, COVID.)

I know I feel better when I look better, so this is encouragement to pull out the good jewelry, pretty scarves, and fancy shoes.

What Happened: As soon as I drew this Nudge, I knew exactly where I’d start–with this fabulous “Canadian Mountie’s” hat!

It was a gift from a dear friend, something I never would have thought to buy for myself. I had been thinking I needed a special occasion to wear it, an event where I could be appropriately fashionable (because I saw a photo of Sarah Jessica Parker, as Carrie Bradshaw, wearing something similar on the set of And Just Like That), and then I decided “Today” could be my special occasion.

Naturally, I had to put together a whole ensemble to go with it, so out came a sleek turtleneck, a silky scarf, and understated gold earrings (and my mask, of course). I felt, well, fabulous!

Building on the success of day one, I dug deeper into my closet as the week progressed. I pulled out a favorite pencil skirt, something that hasn’t seen much daylight since I last set foot in an actual office, and discovered it still fit–Huzzah! Another day, before heading out to run errands, I paired skinny jeans (not yoga pants) with a fitted jacket and boots–with actual heels.

The Ah-Hahs: It didn’t take a lot of extra effort to spiff myself up, yet I sure noticed changes. I was more aware of my posture, and I carried myself more upright and walked with what felt like more confidence. I didn’t have that little voice in the back of my mind praying “Please don’t let me run into anyone I know at the market, please….” I didn’t want to be invisible, to just get through the day; I was comfortable being seen.

This was a fun kick-off Nudge, and I’m wondering what else in my closet needs to come out to play.