Tag Archives: change

Nudging: Take a hard look at calendar, carve out time for me

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Backstory: It’s the age-old story of women, isn’t it? We give all our time and energy to taking care of others at jobs and at home, to family members and friends and even strangers. “Me Time” still has a tinge of selfishness to it.

I don’t know about you, but I’m an expert at doing this until my well is completely empty. Then I finally take “me” time when I get run down and sick.

This week’s nudge is designed to change that dynamic. What can I give up? When can I designate time for my projects, my passions?

Nudged: Review the original List

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Backstory: For the past couple of weeks I’ve been journaling and brainstorming and exploring tasks that might make it on to The List for 52Nudges 2.0.

This week I’m going to review old posts, to see if there are any old Nudges I’d like to do again. Take a look, and let me know if there were any you thought were particularly effective–or worth revisiting.

Before I started the whole project, I reached out to a my sister and a couple of close friends to ask “What do you remember about me as a kid? What did I love to do? What was I passionate about? What have I let go that you think I should try again?” Their answers led to some of my original Nudges, so I’m not interviewing anyone this week. But you might. What have you forgotten about yourself? What have you let go of that you’d like to try again?

What Happened: I took a break after delivering a big job early Wednesday morning and spent an hour reviewing all the post topics (dating back to March 2018) from the first round of 52Nudges. Some seemed so small, but had big impacts (Wear red lipstick, Visit a new-to-me bookstore). Some didn’t work out so well (creating a vision board was a bust), but others were fun, challenging, motivating. I got to “Create a chalk message on the front sidewalk” and immediately got up from my desk, grabbed the basket of chalks, and headed outside to do this:

Have a FUN day!

It’s going back on The List because it scratches my creativity itch, it’s uncomfortable (I’m sure the neighbors think I’m nuts), and it feeds my soul (those uplifting messages are really directed at me, you know).

The point of this week’s Nudge was to see if there were any I wanted to do over, either because they were really fun or because I feel there might be more for me to learn from them. Some that may make it onto the final 2.0 List:

  • Compliment a stranger
  • Work offsite
  • Go through one bookshelf
  • Be early to everything
  • Use the good silver
  • Fix something

Ah-Hah: One is definitely not going the list: Listen to 2 old CDs. Why am I dropping this? Because that one tiny Nudge has been a huge success. I drew that Nudge in September 2018, and after I went through our personal collection, I branched out. Now, every couple of weeks or so, I go to my public library and request CDs of music I’ve never listened to before. I’ve heard opera, hip-hop, jazz, pop. I’ve sung and groaned aloud, depending on how much I liked/disliked what I’ve heard, whether it be country or classical or contemporary. I’ve developed new appreciation and respect for great artists of past and current generations, and I’ve let go of any need to like someone’s music because someone else said it’s “great”.

All because I nudged myself to try something different.

Cool. 🙂

 

 

 

Nudging: Review the original List and ask a friend (or two)

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Backstory: For the past couple of weeks I’ve been journaling and brainstorming and exploring tasks that might make it on to The List for 52Nudges 2.0.

This week I’m going to review old posts, to see if there are any old Nudges I’d like to do again. Take a look, and let me know if there were any you thought were particularly effective–or worth revisiting.

Before I started the whole project, I reached out to a my sister and a couple of close friends to ask “What do you remember about me as a kid? What did I love to do? What was I passionate about? What have I let go that you think I should try again?” Their answers led to some of my original Nudges, so I’m not interviewing anyone this week. But you might. What have you forgotten about yourself? What have you let go of that you’d like to try again?

Meanwhile, last week I shared a list of topics I pulled from our city college’s course schedule. One of those was “Lost Wax Casting.” I had absolutely no idea what that was, so I wrote it down to find out more. A few days ago I googled it and learned it’s a process for duplicating metal sculptures (and jewelry dating back 6,000 years! (Read more about it here.) So cool!

This isn’t something I want to explore further, no part of it is going on my List of Nudges, but I’m kind of pleased with myself for pursuing it.

Nudged: Explore things I’m curious about

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Backstory: Last week I worked with some prompts to come up with tasks that might become Nudges on The List for the re-launch (coming up in September). I was shocked when “3 Things I’m Curious About” yielded only two. What the heck?

So this week I’m going to dig a little deeper and try to find things I’m curious about. I might google random topics online. Maybe I’ll look at maps or pick up a book about reinventing myself. I’ll definitely review class offerings at City College.

What have you always wanted to learn? Was there an academic or career path you let go because it wasn’t “practical”? Is there a skill you’ve always wanted to acquire? Let’s explore those and figure out how to get some of those small steps on our lists for the next round of 52Nudges.

What Happened: I was really nervous about this. Do I feel too old to try new things? Have I given up? Has this whole 52Nudges business been a joke?

Yikes.

I don’t want to put things on The List just to have things on The List. I want each Nudge to be something I’m genuinely curious about, something that makes my heart flutter. But…what?

Time to do some research.

I pulled up the Fall 2019 course schedule for our nearby City College (where, by the way, I have yet to take a class–and it’s free!) and just browsed. Everything that even slightly caught my attention, I wrote it down:

  • American Sign Language (Huh. Maybe this year instead of learning to speak a useful or fun phrase, I’ll teach myself how to sign it.)
  • Art History (There’s a course titled “Women Through Art History”. Now, it could be a semester full of viewing artistic nudes, which, whatever, or it could be a survey that introduces me to the work of great women artists. Instead of signing up for the class, maybe I google “great women artists” and start borrowing illustrated books from the library to learn more about them and their work.)
  • Lost Wax Casting Family (I have absolutely no idea what this is. So I wrote it down to learn more.)
  • Films of Alfred Hitchcock (How cool is this? Of course, I would need to do this during daylight hours so as not to set myself up for waking up screaming in the middle of the night. But–fun! And I could simply decide to make a list of all Hitchcock films–or Scorsese, or great female directors, or Academy Award-winning actresses–and watch them on my own through Netflix or the library.)
  • History of San Francisco (This! This topic keeps coming up for me, so I am going to figure out some way to learn more about my home city. Walking tours, archives, historic sites, books.)
  • Intro to Museum Studies (Not sure if this is an intro course for people who want to become museum directors or–what’s the word?–curators! I had to look that up. But it inspires me to make a list of local museums and go visit them.)

Ah-Hahs: Okay. I feel better about all this. I’m starting to feel excited about what’s coming. There ARE things I want to learn and experience and explore and try and….

Nudged: Buy a new houseplant

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Backstory: I have no recollection of why I put this on the list. It doesn’t feel dramatic or uncomfortable, other than spending money on things like new houseplants is way down at the bottom of the to do list. We have plenty of plants, and I like having fresh flowers in my office and bedroom especially. Hmmmm…. This one could be a dud.

What Happened: Early in the week, I took a tour around our home and evaluated the plants. It was interesting to me how many of them came with backstories, including several we received as housewarming and hostess gifts from dear friends. I do a pretty decent job of keeping everything alive. But there are no plants in our bathroom, and it seems a pretty obvious spot. Good indirect light, lots of steam. Or may I need to move things around, see if one of the plants would do better in a different spot. Hmmm…

I continued to mull while I ran errands, then was hit with inspiration at the grocery store. Five dollars at Trader Joe’s. I’ve spent more on a large mocha! For five measly dollars, I now have this sweet succulent, with its elegant dark-pink edging, for my bathroom counter.

That’s the space I decided needed some love. Every so often (like when we were expecting company), I’d buy some fresh flowers for that spot, but before this morning, I had a vase with dried flowers there. Now it’s fresh and happy and makes me smile.

The Ah-Hah: Let me be honest: Those dried flowers had been sitting there for at least six months and were covered with dust. Gross. Now I have something live and pretty and low-maintenance (it’s a succulent, so I should be able to keep it alive with minimal effort).

So, nothing earth-shattering learned from this week’s Nudge, other than a reminder to look around my home once in a while and think about how I might treat it like the lady she is. And think about how I spend my money. A $5 mocha is a nice treat once in a while and will make me feel peppy for a few hours. But a pretty plant that will last for months (if not years) feels like a bargain.

Nudged: Book a Pilates class

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Backstory: This is really the result of a bigger Nudge. A while back I played with what forms of exercise might get me…well…moving. Do I want to get into an organized team sport, like softball or soccer? (No.) Do I want to give running another try? (My 53-year-old knees say no.) Yoga? (Ugh.)

Maybe there is something I loved doing as a child that I’d like to revisit. Jumping rope is on the list, as is bocce ball. I will continue with long walks, on my own and as excuses for catching up with friends, but the exercise that my body seemed to most respond to has always been Pilates.

I can come up with any number of excuses for why I haven’t been to a class in over a year. None of those excuses are good. So this week, I’m going to pull out my calendar, make a commitment, and just do it.

What good-for-you activity have you been putting off? If you can’t fit it in this week, at least get it inked on the calendar for soon.

What Happened: Wasted no time on this one. Got online, re-upped my account, and booked a class for next week.

Then I skipped ahead to the next week and booked two more.

Gulp. 🙂

The Ah-Hahs: I won’t be able to report back this week on how the class went , but I can confirm that this Nudge has been completed and I’m nervous…no, I’m excited…about getting back on track with regular exercise that I’ve loved doing in the past.

Meanwhile, this week I’m going to practice getting up at 5:15 am so it won’t be quite so painful next week to make it out the door for a 6:00 am class. Step by step, bit by bit, squat by squat. 🙂

Nudging: Book a Pilates class

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Backstory: This is really the result of a bigger Nudge. A while back I played with what forms of exercise might get me…well…moving. Do I want to get into an organized team sport, like softball or soccer? (No.) Do I want to give running another try? (My 53-year-old knees say no.) Yoga? (Ugh.)

Maybe there is something I loved doing as a child that I’d like to revisit. Jumping rope is on the list, as is bocce ball. I will continue with long walks, on my own and as excuses for catching up with friends, but the exercise that my body seemed to most respond to has always been Pilates.

I can come up with any number of excuses for why I haven’t been to a class in over a year. None of those excuses are good. So this week, I’m going to pull out my calendar, make a commitment, and just do it.

What good-for-you activity have you been putting off? If you can’t fit it in this week, at least get it inked on the calendar for soon.

Nudging: Wear a different hat x4

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Backstory: What makes me feel comfortable, feel good, feel like me? I’ve amassed quite a collection of hats over the years, from travels and gifts and some spontaneous as well as thoughtful purchases. Yet I’ve noticed recently that I gravitate to the same few over and over. So this Nudge is part closet purging and part getting clear on what feels right for me.

P.S. For you maybe it’s shoes or sweaters or jewelry (see the “Wear the nice jewelry” post from last year for motivation). Set aside some time this week to experiment and figure out what’s right for you.

Nudged: Throw something out

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Backstory: This could be anything. A “thing”, a memento that no longer holds any sentiment, trash, something I’ve outgrown. Or it could be an attitude or a bad habit or a dream that no longer calls to me. Hmmmm….

What Happened: Tuesday morning, as I sorted through items in my to do folder, I came across the instructions for our “new” CD player (see “Nudged: Listen to two old CDs” from, well, a while ago). I had already figured out how to run the thing just by poking around, but it’s always a good idea to read up on all the functions. Except I couldn’t do that. Why? Because the instructions brochure I had saved to read was all in Spanish. Brilliant. Quick toss that one!

What else in this office/this house/this brain is taking up space, nagging me to do? What really needs to get done, what really matters? Or better yet, what do I want to do that is being put off or blocked because I’m so busy dealing with unnecessary stuff?

The next couple of days I thought about this intermittently as I faced down a huge deadline on a client job. I was exhausted, mentally, physically, and spiritually, and I started think about the feelings and judgments I might throw away: feeling stuck, feeling underappreciated, feeling stressed, feeling tired of working so hard for what often feels like so little return. I delivered the job Thursday afternoon (ahead of the deadline, thank you very much) and allowed myself a brief respite to recover. (Ha. What I wanted to do was crawl into bed with a bottle of wine and cry, but I had things to do.) Friday morning I got back to work on the next set of deliverables.

Friday afternoon, during a break and after I received a “thank you, but we’re going in a different direction” rejection letter on a project that I really really wanted, I started looking around again at what I could get rid of. Let me see, what is “dead” around here? There’s the houseplant I’d tried to resuscitate by placing it in a sunny spot on our front steps (hello, death blocking the entry to our home!)…into the trash. The table center bouquet that had been so beautiful a week ago but now smelled like rot…buh-bye. This morning I pulled out several long-dead lavender plants and planted their healthy replacements..hello, beautiful!

Ah-Hahs: Will this make a difference? We’ll see. But it felt good to throw out the dead and make room for the new, both inside me and in the world around me.

52+: When Nudging pays off

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There’s this local craft spirits distillery I’ve been curious about for a couple of years. When a friend introduced me to their gin, in particular, I was surprised by how much I liked it. I wanted to learn more. I picked up a book about the history of gin. I tried flights at bars and experimented with cocktails at home.

Then about eight months ago, I nudged myself and coordinated a group of friends to go for a tour and tasting. It was fantastic. The whole time we were there I kept thinking, “It would be really fun to work here.”

So I nudged myself again and called them. Turns out they were hiring for the tasting room team, so I applied. And then I interviewed, went through intense training, was tested extensively, and got hired. I’m now there every Sunday alongside wonderful colleagues. I welcome guests from all over the world, tell stories, and learn new things.

I know: Wow!

This isn’t replacing my day job; it’s actually on top of all the other things I do. Friends have suggested I’ll one day write a book about gin, or start distilling my own in the bathtub. (Never say never!) I don’t know. I don’t know who I might meet or where it might lead. The future is uncertain, of course, so for now I’m just having fun. (And getting paid a bit while doing it.)

I have been meaning to share this with the 52Nudges community for ages, but there was part of me that wanted to make sure the job would “stick” before I went public. That sounds silly, now, but I was uneasy. Would they like me? Would I screw up? Would I burn out?

So far so good.  🙂

I share this with you now because I realize all of this came about because I opened myself up to opportunities and I nudged myself to:

  • Plan a fun outing with friends
  • Do something that scares me
  • Take a risk
  • Challenge my intellect and learn something new
  • Pursue a passion

If I wrapped up this whole 52Nudges project right now, I’d consider it a win. However, this experience inspires me to keep going. What might the next Nudge reveal? I am excited to discover the possibilities.

How will you nudge yourself this week? Is there something on the edge of your dreams you want to try? Please hear this from me: Go for it. ♥