Tag Archives: change

Nudged: Purchase a new nail polish color

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Backstory: I have a small confession. One of my “crazy” dream jobs is to be the person who creates the names on nail polishes. Just imagine: I’d get to research trends, expense mani-pedis, create fun puns all day long—and get paid for it! I’m not sure how to go about putting myself in the running for open positions (Hello, Sally Hansen!), but for now I can spice things up with a hot new color. 🙂

What Happened: While waiting for a prescription to be filled on Monday, I wandered the nail polish aisle. Naturally I was drawn to the peaches and corals, and this season, the reds, but I already have an adequate selection of those in my little basket at home. So I decided to go a different route. Instead of shopping for a color, I shopped for a name, for something I want to live up to. There is one called “Fearless” (perfect!), but it was too similar to reds already in my collection, so I passed.

Alas, I didn’t fall in love with anything I saw in that first shopping excursion. So late Tuesday morning I took myself out for a break from work and walked to another neighborhood drug store. I went back and forth down the aisle, considering names and colors and prices. Did I really want to spend $9 on one bottle? Not really. Did I want to risk spending under $2 on a cheap brand? Not really. I finally narrowed my selection to two options: “Good as Blue” and “Rags to Riches”. Both are outside of my normal palette, and I thought both could be fun to manifest in the days ahead. Which one? I liked the blue color better but the purple name better. Lucky for me, they were on sale, and I got two for about the price of one. Score!

I put the Good for Blue on my nails after lunch. It’s fabulous. It’s out there. I imagine my grandmother, who only wore clear and pale pinks that I can recall, rolling her eyes. Does this make me look younger and hipper, or older and pathetic? I don’t care!

Late Wednesday, just before shutting down for the day, I checked out the Sally Hansen website and found these quotes:

“You can do something about anything. You can and must improve constantly.” – Sally Hansen, Los Angeles Times, 1934

“Beauty to a woman in power. Power to believe in herself.” – Sally, Los Angeles Times, 1934

Did you know the company was founded in 1946 by Sally herself? It isn’t just a brand name. She launched with just two nail products, and today over 300 shades are distributed in over 55 countries. Way to go, Sally!

Ah-Hahs: I spent quite a bit of time exploring the Sally Hansen website and learned this on the About page:

“In a time when women ran households not companies, Sally defied husbands, parents, and society in general, to create the life and beauty she wanted for herself, by herself.”

What a fascinating woman! She and Estee Lauder and Helena Rubenstein (also real people, not just brand names) were pioneers, trail-blazers, and role models.

I encourage you to read Sally’s full story here and think about how she can inspire you. For me, in the moment, I decided to “go for it.” I couldn’t find a link to job listings or any kind of Careers page on the site, so I emailed them through the general Contact page. Maybe they hire freelancers. Maybe their creative staff works out of San Francisco and they’re looking for someone just like me. Maybe they will ignore me altogether and I’ll never hear back. What matters most to me, though, is that I got up the courage to ask.

I’m opening my own doors, thank you very much. And thank you, Ms. Hansen (Can I call you Sally?) for inspiring me.

Nudged: Do something that scares me

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Backstory: I was just thinking about this Nudge. I knew it was on the list, and as my collection in the bowl dwindles, I knew it had to pop up soon.

So here it is. What might I do this week? What scares me? Maybe this is the week I finally…

  • schedule my annual mammogram (the last one resulted in surgery—I’m fine, by the way—so dreading this, though I know it’s necessary).
  • track down and contact the holders of the copyright on some song lyrics I’d like to use in a book I’m writing (worst case scenario: they could say no—which would completely foul things up for me).
  • trust my gut and tell a needy, demanding, and annoying potential client that I really do NOT want to work with her (despite needing the income).
  • say “Oh, hell no!” to everyone else who wants free work/favors/my time/my energy and turn my full focus to work that truly makes me happy, that gives me energy, that gives me joy.
  • decide where I want my ashes to be scattered.

What scares you (and what are you going to do about it)? Good luck!

What Happened: You know a good way to get over fear? Confront it every day. I walked into this week thinking I’d do one thing, but then decided it would be a good exercise for me to keep pushing, to keep nudging.

  • Monday morning, following a rather bizarre phone interview, I “quit” a potential client who I felt was not a good fit for me. (Not only did I remove myself from what I sensed would be a difficult working relationship, I believe I opened a way for something better to come to me.)
  • That afternoon I pitched an idea to a website I’d love to contribute to. (Hope I cracked open a door to new opportunities.)
  • Tuesday morning I decided where I want my ashes scattered. (We’ve been working on our estate plans, talk about scary.)
  • Shortly after I sent the above info off to our attorney, I scheduled my mammogram.

Early Wednesday morning, I learned that “Do not be afraid” appears in the Bible 365 times. One for every day of the year. I think, perhaps, this is something we’re supposed to take to heart. Just do it!

As the week progressed, I thought about some of the work I’ve turned down this year. Oftentimes the reason has been scheduling (I can only do so much in the hours of the day), but this year I’ve also gotten more adept at identifying when personalities and work styles don’t click. It’s a tough call. I’ve certainly done my share of sucking it up for the paycheck to work with difficult people (bullies, control freaks, and, let’s be honest, idiots), but I’ve started to identify and acknowledge the deeper costs to me. So not worth it.

At the same time, I’ve been thinking a lot about the types of people and businesses I’d love to work with more, and this week, one nearby company came to mind. I’ve been impressed with their mailers, emails, website, mission, values, and services. Every time I receive a promotion from them, I think, “Wouldn’t it be great…?”

So I took this one step further and checked out current job listings. Sure enough, they had one that fit my skills and experiences, and I applied.

Turned out they’d already hired someone, but instead of a standard form rejection letter, I got a personal reply asking, “Would you be interested in doing some freelance work for us?” Heck, yes!

Ah-Hahs: As much as I think I could have been a brilliant fit for the staff position, I am not disappointed. I feel like I am getting closer to what I am meant to be doing. After all the closed doors I’ve walked past this year (sometimes doors I’ve closed myself), I trust that the door that opens will reveal something that is right for me.

I am so darn proud of myself for trusting my gut, following my intuition, pushing through fears, and taking chances.

And that, my friends, is a successful Nudge.

 

Nudged: Clear off dresser top; end of week, redo

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Backstory: It’s not the worst hot spot in the house, but as I take in what’s there—what has been sitting there for years—I’m ashamed. Photos of cute toddlers (who are now teenagers with driver’s licenses), old CDs that have lost their cases (can’t recall the last time I listened to them), favorite items of jewelry that need repair (and so have been unworn and unappreciated), Mardi Gras beads…Mardi Gras beads? Really?

 

Before.

What Happened: After pulling everything off and setting it aside in a box for later review, I gave the mirror a good Windex shine and wiped off the layer of dust that had accumulated. I was going to polish the antique wood, but discovered we were out of polish. I wanted to give this beautiful piece of furniture, which has been with me since elementary school, some love, so lemony polish was added to the grocery list, and midweek it got its “massage”.

During.

Several times during the week I caught myself thinking, “I’ll just set this laundry/book/mug/clipping/to do list here for a minute.” But having the dresser top completely empty caused me to stop and do otherwise, which usually meant putting the item in its own place. (Ah-hah.) The practice also caused me to be more aware of the other hot spots in our home: the dining room table continues to be the catch-all, the spare table in the kitchen continues to “temporarily” house many items that don’t fit in our limited storage space.

By coincidence (or not), I talked to two friends who have been more aggressively clearing out clutter after reading the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo. They look at each item and ask themselves, “Does this bring me joy?” If not, out it goes. One friend, who is further along in the process, told me she no longer has any knickknacks, no longer has anything to dust. Now that’s appealing! She realized what gives her true joy is spending time with friends, being outside with her dogs, going on hikes. So that’s how she now spends her time. I find that a little scary (giving up my stuff) and very intriguing.

What did I discover brought me joy? A crystal bowl with a few flowers floating it in. That’s it! Simple, beautiful. And no junk around it to distract me

Will I keep it this way? I still have the box of stuff off to the side because I don’t yet know what to do with it. Perhaps a couple of family photos will make their way back, and the jewelry needs to go somewhere (other than a cardboard box on the floor). We’ll see.

The Ah-Hah: I look at the top of my dresser every day, several times a day, and on some conscious or unconscious level it makes an impression: This is a mess. You are a mess. Add this to your to do list. Pull yourself together!

I realize declutting nudges have appeared several times over the past months, which sometimes feels annoying to me (and maybe to you, too). But I have come to believe it’s more than just throwing out old stuff. In the process I’m clearing space to allow more light, joy, and creativity into my life. I’m uncovering underused treasures while acknowledging other items that have served their purposes and can now go delight someone else. I’m making way for calm and peace. And so I keep at it.

I’d love to hear how you’re doing with all this. You already know I’m a big fan of the FlyLady (a free site where you are lovingly encouraged to clear all sorts of clutter from your life), and I’m curious about the tidying-up book mentioned above.

What are you doing? How are you doing? What are you discovering about yourself in the process? I hope you’ll share.

 

Nudging: Clear off dresser top; end of week, redo

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Backstory: It’s not the worst hot spot in the house, but as I take in what’s there—what has been sitting there for years—I’m ashamed. Photos of cute toddlers (who are now teenagers with driver’s licenses), old CDs that have lost their cases (can’t recall the last time I listened to them), favorite items of jewelry that need repair (and so have been unworn and unappreciated), Mardi Gras beads…Mardi Gras beads? Really?

Nudged: Clean out a drawer

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Backstory: This is part of my ongoing efforts to get rid of clutter, to open up some space and allow more light and breath into my life.

Earlier this week I caught up with my mom. After she gave me updates on various family members and we talked through possible plans for the December holidays, she shared with me what she had planned for her day: “Going through piles, reading the to do list, updating the to do list, sending recipes to friends, going through recipes and setting them aside because I’ll make them some day….”

And I saw my future.

I’m not sharing this with you to in any way dis my mom. But, honestly, I do not want to be looking at the same to do list 30 years from now. I do not want to be spending my golden years sorting through all the stuff and files and papers and projects I’ll get to “some day”.

In fact, I don’t want to be dealing with all this accumulated junk two years from now. So I’m starting somewhere.

What happened: My first thought was to go through my lingerie drawer. It’s entirely possible that the last time I went through it was 10 years ago, when I made my last big move. But I was pretty overwhelmed at the time, so it’s likely everything got pulled out, dumped into a box, then re-dumped into the drawer. I know I have at least two bras in there that pre-date my marriage. I also am pretty sure I have a few half-slips in there, yet I can’t recall the last time I wore or even needed one. Plus I’m sure there are a number of items that need to be tossed and replaced.

I didn’t feel like setting myself up for a shopping/spending excursion just yet, so that drawer got put off. Next up, I thought about going through one of the crowded drawers in my work filing cabinet. Every so often I go through and pull out the files for clients who are no longer active and one-off projects that were completed long ago, and put those folders into archives in the basement. But actually, these drawers aren’t in horrible shape.

As I looked around the office and thought about the options, my attention was drawn to the little table next to the door. This is kind of my launching pad. It’s where I keep coupons, sunglasses, outgoing mail, magazines I’ve read and am ready to take to the gym. And there’s a drawer in it. I’d completely forgotten it had a drawer. Ha!

So I pulled everything out and off and went through it. The sand from a favorite beach (that baggie) finally went into the jar (also pictured) and is now displayed on a shelf. (I’m starting a collection from favorite beaches around the world.) The magazines went to the gym. The expired coupons went into the trash. The hand-warming gel pack I got as a stocking stuffer I don’t know how long ago went into the pocket of my dog walking jacket. The Canadian coins (?), I’m not sure what to do with those, but I certainly don’t need to save them for anything.

I also discovered a pair of binoculars (totally forgot I owned these!), three decks of playing cards, an old desk clock that has been in need of repair for ages, and a gift card for a scalp massage and blow out. (Totally scheduling that for the next week.)

In the drawer I discovered old padlocks and gym locker locks, keys to old luggage, and a spare key to a car we sold like two years ago. (I vaguely recall tearing the house apart, trying to find it. Ooops.)

 

Before…

…and after.

 

The Ah-Hah: Jeez. I wish I felt better about this. I did go through everything, toss a few things, and set some items aside for follow-up (clock repair, blow out, the filter for the bathroom faucet I need to replace). But this just reminds me of how much more I have to do around here. The good news is, I got through this section in less than 30 minutes, and I do see and feel a difference having this one little space of order and serenity.

I am thinking that I need to get myself on some kind of program. Maybe I designate 15 minutes a day to go through things. Maybe I partner with a girlfriend and we help each other by showing some tough love as we go through and toss stuff. Maybe I commit to following FlyLady (oh, how I love her) every day for the next six months for motivation. Maybe this is my next chapter of 52Nudges.

Meanwhile, I have a new perspective on decluttering. It’s been a common theme in this nudging process, and at times it’s seemed silly, or not related to the bigger goals I have for myself. But I’ve come to see it not only as lightening my load and clearing the space around me so I can clear my the space in my head; I’m starting to understand it as a treasure hunt:

  • I better know what my treasurers are, those items that bring beauty and joy to my life, those items I want to keep
  • I unearth hints of who I am, old passions that might be rekindled, mementos of old achievements that remind me of what I’ve overcome and what I’m capable of

What personal treasures have you rediscovered?

Nudging: Clean out a drawer

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Backstory: This is part of my ongoing efforts to get rid of clutter, to open up some space and allow more light and breath into my life.

Earlier this week I caught up with my mom. After she gave me updates on various family members and we talked through possible plans for the December holidays, she shared with me what she had planned for her day: “Going through piles, reading the to do list, updating the to do list, sending recipes to friends, going through recipes and setting them aside because I’ll make them some day….”

And I saw my future.

I’m not sharing this with you to in any way dis my mom. But, honestly, I do not want to be looking at the same to do list 30 years from now. I do not want to be spending my golden years sorting through all the stuff and files and papers and projects I’ll get to “some day”.

In fact, I don’t want to be dealing with all this accumulated junk two years from now. So I’m starting somewhere.

 

P.S. This Tuesday, November 6, is Election Day here in the United States. If you haven’t already sent in your absentee ballot, please consider this your nudge to VOTE!

Nudged: Take Thor to a new place for date night

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Backstory: (For those of you who are new to 52Nudges, “Thor” is the code name for my darling husband.)

I think we’re pretty good about getting out on date nights, but we certainly have our favorite spots (some might call that a “rut”). This is our chance to try something new.

Maybe this is the week we’ll check out one of the ethnic restaurants I learned about when I was inspired by visiting a new market (read the post here). Maybe we’ll put a bunch of different restaurant names on strips of paper, toss them in a bowl, and make a random selection. Or maybe we’ll skip dinner and go straight to a bowling alley, movie theater with recliners, miniature golf course, or pumpkin patch. Hmmm…I might have date night ideas for the next several months!

What would be fun for you? Significant other not available or up for adventure? Then take yourself out. Or call up a friend…or several friends. Wherever you end up, I hope you’ll take a moment to toast yourself for nudging yourself into trying something new. xo

What Happened: There were so many great options, so many places nearby we have yet to try! Finally I decided on a tiny family-owned Italian place we’ve driven past for years. While it’s barely nudging us out of our comfort zone, my choice does have an intention. We’re starting to save up for a big vacation in Italy, and I’m watching movies, reading books, listening to language CDs, and doing whatever I can to keep us motivated to save that money and get excited about going on this adventure together.

I booked the table, then I sent Thor a text message to formally ask him out on a date. It’s silly, I know, but when was the last time you practiced all those courting rituals? He responded in kind, and we were set.

I arrived a bit early and was seated when he walked in the door. Although I know he saw me, he made a point of checking at the counter, then he turned to me and introduced himself as if it was a first, and blind, date. Silly (and adorable) man. Then…he pulled this from behind his back:

So, yes, I married a gem. We had a lovely evening, we nurtured our romance, and we discovered a sweet local restaurant to which we’ll return.

Ah-Hahs: This was one of those “small Nudges” that was so easy to do and so fun. So what if it didn’t lead to any new epiphanies? It was simply fun to venture out of our normal routine.

But I did have one bigger ah-hah: I don’t get flowers spontaneously very often any more. Maybe I’ll receive something on a birthday or following a medical procedure (right?), but flowers “just because”? Doesn’t much happen.

It was really nice, it left me feeling almost giddy. And I’d like for my friends to feel this way more often too. So I’m adding this to the bowl of Nudges: Send flowers to a friend for no particular occasion.

 

Nudging: Take Thor to a new place for date night

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Backstory: (For those of you who are new to 52Nudges, “Thor” is the code name for my darling husband.)

I think we’re pretty good about getting out on date nights, but we certainly have our favorite spots (some might call that a “rut”). This is our chance to try something new.

Maybe this is the week we’ll check out one of the ethnic restaurants I learned about when I was inspired by visiting a new market (read the post here). Maybe we’ll put a bunch of different restaurant names on strips of paper, toss them in a bowl, and make a random selection. Or maybe we’ll skip dinner and go straight to a bowling alley, movie theater with recliners, miniature golf course, or pumpkin patch. Hmmm…I might have date night ideas for the next several months!

What would be fun for you? Significant other not available or up for adventure? Then take yourself out. Or call up a friend…or several friends. Wherever you end up, I hope you’ll take a moment to toast yourself for nudging yourself into trying something new. xo

 

 

 

 

Nudging: Go to the gym 3x

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Backstory: This was a drop-in, you won’t find it on the List. Here’s what happened:

My darling husband, Thor (the name he picked for himself for when he’s mentioned here), has been checking every Sunday to hear about what I’ve done and what I’ve drawn for the coming week. He’s made some excellent suggestions along the way, and helped me to rehash and reevaluate post-Nudge thoughts. A few times I’ve asked if he’s wanted to do the Nudge with me, but he’s always declined. Up till this week.

We’ve both been super-busy with work commitments, with additional events happening after hours and on weekends. It’s a lot. And lately I’ve found our daily check-in conversation goes something like this:

Venus: How was your day?

Mars: Fine.

Venus: How are you?

Mars: Fine.

Venus: What’s on your mind?

Mars: Nothing.

So yesterday we took Louie the dog out for a long walk and caught up. After our usual check-ins (see above), he shared with me that he’s dragging around the weight of not knowing what he wants to do with the last half of his life, a dilemma I can certainly relate to. Many of our friends are retiring from careers and now have time to pursue long-time passions and hobbies. What might ours be? We’ve talked about signing up for classes, brainstorming, getting creative about figuring this out…. No surprise, to him (to many of us) the prospect of figuring out The Rest of Our Lives is overwhelming.

I shared with him the questions Saeeda shared with me during our interview a couple of months ago (read it here): Not “What do you want to do?” in life, but “How do you want to feel?” There are no right/wrong answers, I said to Thor. “You can pick intellectually challenged, silly, strong, relaxed, content, intrigued, entertained…let’s start with how you’d like to feel and we’ll figure out the doing part later.”

Over brunch I suggested we brainstorm some ideas for this. Not happening. Okay. But mid-afternoon he told me he’d decided his Nudge for this week would be “Go to the gym 3 times.” Perfect.

I will be doing this Nudge with him. It’s my hope that we’ll go to the gym together on some, if not all, outings, but since he likes to get up at 4:00 am (and I, well, don’t), we’ll see how it goes.

As we head into this week, I’m thinking about how having someone as an accountability partner can nudge us a little further. Or it can simply make it more fun. If you don’t have a spouse or significant other, think about asking a friend to join you in a Nudge. If that doesn’t feel comfortable to you, then consider making me your partner. Share your chosen Nudge for the week, update me in comments, and at the end of the week, let me know how you did. Let’s encourage each other to fuller lives.

Nudging: Get 8 hours of sleep every night

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Backstory: Well, um, I need to get more and better sleep.

I keep hearing about how lack of sleep effects everything, including my ability to lose weight. I know I need to be better about this, but it always seems to be the easiest thing to cut when deadlines and to do lists and responsibilities are hanging over me.

It’s no coincidence that I recently finished reading the August issue of National Geographic, for which the theme is “The Science of Sleep.”

Did you know “anyone who regularly sleeps less than six hours has a higher risk of depression, psychosis, stroke, and obesity”?

Yikes.

So this week I’m going to walk away from the office, turn off the TV, ignore the phone, and catch some extra zzzzzs.

 

P.S. For inspiration and motivation, I recommend you read the book Thrive by Arianna Huffington. No spoilers, but she got a “wake-up call” when sleep deprivation became a real problem from her—then she took the steps to make a good night’s sleep a priority in her life.