Tag Archives: decluttering

Nudging: Wear a different hat x4

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Backstory: What makes me feel comfortable, feel good, feel like me? I’ve amassed quite a collection of hats over the years, from travels and gifts and some spontaneous as well as thoughtful purchases. Yet I’ve noticed recently that I gravitate to the same few over and over. So this Nudge is part closet purging and part getting clear on what feels right for me.

P.S. For you maybe it’s shoes or sweaters or jewelry (see the “Wear the nice jewelry” post from last year for motivation). Set aside some time this week to experiment and figure out what’s right for you.

Nudged: Throw something out

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Backstory: This could be anything. A “thing”, a memento that no longer holds any sentiment, trash, something I’ve outgrown. Or it could be an attitude or a bad habit or a dream that no longer calls to me. Hmmmm….

What Happened: Tuesday morning, as I sorted through items in my to do folder, I came across the instructions for our “new” CD player (see “Nudged: Listen to two old CDs” from, well, a while ago). I had already figured out how to run the thing just by poking around, but it’s always a good idea to read up on all the functions. Except I couldn’t do that. Why? Because the instructions brochure I had saved to read was all in Spanish. Brilliant. Quick toss that one!

What else in this office/this house/this brain is taking up space, nagging me to do? What really needs to get done, what really matters? Or better yet, what do I want to do that is being put off or blocked because I’m so busy dealing with unnecessary stuff?

The next couple of days I thought about this intermittently as I faced down a huge deadline on a client job. I was exhausted, mentally, physically, and spiritually, and I started think about the feelings and judgments I might throw away: feeling stuck, feeling underappreciated, feeling stressed, feeling tired of working so hard for what often feels like so little return. I delivered the job Thursday afternoon (ahead of the deadline, thank you very much) and allowed myself a brief respite to recover. (Ha. What I wanted to do was crawl into bed with a bottle of wine and cry, but I had things to do.) Friday morning I got back to work on the next set of deliverables.

Friday afternoon, during a break and after I received a “thank you, but we’re going in a different direction” rejection letter on a project that I really really wanted, I started looking around again at what I could get rid of. Let me see, what is “dead” around here? There’s the houseplant I’d tried to resuscitate by placing it in a sunny spot on our front steps (hello, death blocking the entry to our home!)…into the trash. The table center bouquet that had been so beautiful a week ago but now smelled like rot…buh-bye. This morning I pulled out several long-dead lavender plants and planted their healthy replacements..hello, beautiful!

Ah-Hahs: Will this make a difference? We’ll see. But it felt good to throw out the dead and make room for the new, both inside me and in the world around me.

Nudged: Clear off dresser top; end of week, redo

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Backstory: It’s not the worst hot spot in the house, but as I take in what’s there—what has been sitting there for years—I’m ashamed. Photos of cute toddlers (who are now teenagers with driver’s licenses), old CDs that have lost their cases (can’t recall the last time I listened to them), favorite items of jewelry that need repair (and so have been unworn and unappreciated), Mardi Gras beads…Mardi Gras beads? Really?

 

Before.

What Happened: After pulling everything off and setting it aside in a box for later review, I gave the mirror a good Windex shine and wiped off the layer of dust that had accumulated. I was going to polish the antique wood, but discovered we were out of polish. I wanted to give this beautiful piece of furniture, which has been with me since elementary school, some love, so lemony polish was added to the grocery list, and midweek it got its “massage”.

During.

Several times during the week I caught myself thinking, “I’ll just set this laundry/book/mug/clipping/to do list here for a minute.” But having the dresser top completely empty caused me to stop and do otherwise, which usually meant putting the item in its own place. (Ah-hah.) The practice also caused me to be more aware of the other hot spots in our home: the dining room table continues to be the catch-all, the spare table in the kitchen continues to “temporarily” house many items that don’t fit in our limited storage space.

By coincidence (or not), I talked to two friends who have been more aggressively clearing out clutter after reading the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo. They look at each item and ask themselves, “Does this bring me joy?” If not, out it goes. One friend, who is further along in the process, told me she no longer has any knickknacks, no longer has anything to dust. Now that’s appealing! She realized what gives her true joy is spending time with friends, being outside with her dogs, going on hikes. So that’s how she now spends her time. I find that a little scary (giving up my stuff) and very intriguing.

What did I discover brought me joy? A crystal bowl with a few flowers floating it in. That’s it! Simple, beautiful. And no junk around it to distract me

Will I keep it this way? I still have the box of stuff off to the side because I don’t yet know what to do with it. Perhaps a couple of family photos will make their way back, and the jewelry needs to go somewhere (other than a cardboard box on the floor). We’ll see.

The Ah-Hah: I look at the top of my dresser every day, several times a day, and on some conscious or unconscious level it makes an impression: This is a mess. You are a mess. Add this to your to do list. Pull yourself together!

I realize declutting nudges have appeared several times over the past months, which sometimes feels annoying to me (and maybe to you, too). But I have come to believe it’s more than just throwing out old stuff. In the process I’m clearing space to allow more light, joy, and creativity into my life. I’m uncovering underused treasures while acknowledging other items that have served their purposes and can now go delight someone else. I’m making way for calm and peace. And so I keep at it.

I’d love to hear how you’re doing with all this. You already know I’m a big fan of the FlyLady (a free site where you are lovingly encouraged to clear all sorts of clutter from your life), and I’m curious about the tidying-up book mentioned above.

What are you doing? How are you doing? What are you discovering about yourself in the process? I hope you’ll share.

 

Nudging: Clear off dresser top; end of week, redo

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Backstory: It’s not the worst hot spot in the house, but as I take in what’s there—what has been sitting there for years—I’m ashamed. Photos of cute toddlers (who are now teenagers with driver’s licenses), old CDs that have lost their cases (can’t recall the last time I listened to them), favorite items of jewelry that need repair (and so have been unworn and unappreciated), Mardi Gras beads…Mardi Gras beads? Really?

Nudged: De-pill a sweater

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Backstory: Oh, geez. This must have been added to the list in a moment of frustration, not because I felt it was going to nudge me into any greater awareness or move me closer to finding My Purpose in Life, but simply because I am sick of how things pile up.

Two of my favorite sweaters have been in a box under my desk for…well, at least a year. Next to them is a pile of clothing that needs mending, next to a box of writing exercises and short story ideas, next to a yoga mat (covered in dust)…. How does this happen? This space should be my work space, my creating space. Instead, I look around this room and am eternally distracted.

And so this week, I start small with one task that I hope will make a small difference.

What Happened: It took less than an hour to de-pill both sweaters. One went on my body (better than shopping), the other went into the closet. The de-pilling machine (oh, how I love that gadget), went into the box where I keep mending supplies.

My nicely organized–and de-pilled–sweaters.

…and in there I discovered an old, unfinished cross-stitch project that had been tucked away, possibly nine years ago when I first moved into this home. Maybe it’s time to bring that back out and re-stretch the muscles that used to love creating beauty through needlework?

How cute would this look in my kitchen?

The Ah-Hah: It’s scary to open up the tucked away box or even the door to the closet into which you’ve stuffed stuff for far too long. But I’m finding that once I dive in, I find some treasures. Some things get handed off to others who might appreciate them (see my earlier post about sharing favorite books from childhood), some things go to Goodwill where someone who really needs them might find them. Somethings reopen pleasures and passions, such as the cross-stitch project so long neglected.

What’s lurking in your closet/drawer/basement/storage unit?

 

P.S. As I mentioned in the Nudging post for this, I did take time to step away from the Thanksgiving festivities for some quiet reflection. Here are some of the things on my Gratitude List:

  • 52Nudges readers who inspire and motivate me to keep nudging.
  • The marvelous two-story tall poinsettia plant outside my office window that delights me by re-blooming every November.
  • The arrival of the first early-bird holiday card. (You know who you are—and you know how much I love hearing from you! Mine is coming soon!)
  • That delicious autumny nip in the air that says “perfect weather for a long walk.”
  • A brain that is still hungry to grow, open to change, up to a challenge, and curious about so many things.

 

 

 

Nudging: De-pill a sweater

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Backstory: Oh, geez. This must have been added to the list in a moment of frustration, not because I felt it was going to nudge me into any greater awareness or move me closer to finding My Purpose in Life, but simply because I am sick of how things pile up.

Two of my favorite sweaters have been in a box under my desk for…well, at least a year. Next to them is a pile of clothing that needs mending, next to a box of writing exercises and short story ideas, next to a yoga mat (covered in dust)…. How does this happen? This space should be my work space, my creating space. Instead, I look around this room and am eternally distracted.

And so this week, I start small with one task that I hope will make a small difference.

P.S. This week in the United States we celebrate Thanksgiving. More and more the focus of this holiday seems to be on over-eating, over-spending (even with Black Friday discounts), and over-sharing that leads to conflicts with family members. This year I am going to nudge myself to step away from the fray for a few minutes and jot down a list of things I take for granted, and for which I am thankful. You will be on the list. I am grateful that you have joined me on this wild adventure of Nudgings, and I celebrate that we are making our lives better with each small Nudge. Cheers and Happy Thanksgiving!

Nudged: Clean out a drawer

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Backstory: This is part of my ongoing efforts to get rid of clutter, to open up some space and allow more light and breath into my life.

Earlier this week I caught up with my mom. After she gave me updates on various family members and we talked through possible plans for the December holidays, she shared with me what she had planned for her day: “Going through piles, reading the to do list, updating the to do list, sending recipes to friends, going through recipes and setting them aside because I’ll make them some day….”

And I saw my future.

I’m not sharing this with you to in any way dis my mom. But, honestly, I do not want to be looking at the same to do list 30 years from now. I do not want to be spending my golden years sorting through all the stuff and files and papers and projects I’ll get to “some day”.

In fact, I don’t want to be dealing with all this accumulated junk two years from now. So I’m starting somewhere.

What happened: My first thought was to go through my lingerie drawer. It’s entirely possible that the last time I went through it was 10 years ago, when I made my last big move. But I was pretty overwhelmed at the time, so it’s likely everything got pulled out, dumped into a box, then re-dumped into the drawer. I know I have at least two bras in there that pre-date my marriage. I also am pretty sure I have a few half-slips in there, yet I can’t recall the last time I wore or even needed one. Plus I’m sure there are a number of items that need to be tossed and replaced.

I didn’t feel like setting myself up for a shopping/spending excursion just yet, so that drawer got put off. Next up, I thought about going through one of the crowded drawers in my work filing cabinet. Every so often I go through and pull out the files for clients who are no longer active and one-off projects that were completed long ago, and put those folders into archives in the basement. But actually, these drawers aren’t in horrible shape.

As I looked around the office and thought about the options, my attention was drawn to the little table next to the door. This is kind of my launching pad. It’s where I keep coupons, sunglasses, outgoing mail, magazines I’ve read and am ready to take to the gym. And there’s a drawer in it. I’d completely forgotten it had a drawer. Ha!

So I pulled everything out and off and went through it. The sand from a favorite beach (that baggie) finally went into the jar (also pictured) and is now displayed on a shelf. (I’m starting a collection from favorite beaches around the world.) The magazines went to the gym. The expired coupons went into the trash. The hand-warming gel pack I got as a stocking stuffer I don’t know how long ago went into the pocket of my dog walking jacket. The Canadian coins (?), I’m not sure what to do with those, but I certainly don’t need to save them for anything.

I also discovered a pair of binoculars (totally forgot I owned these!), three decks of playing cards, an old desk clock that has been in need of repair for ages, and a gift card for a scalp massage and blow out. (Totally scheduling that for the next week.)

In the drawer I discovered old padlocks and gym locker locks, keys to old luggage, and a spare key to a car we sold like two years ago. (I vaguely recall tearing the house apart, trying to find it. Ooops.)

 

Before…

…and after.

 

The Ah-Hah: Jeez. I wish I felt better about this. I did go through everything, toss a few things, and set some items aside for follow-up (clock repair, blow out, the filter for the bathroom faucet I need to replace). But this just reminds me of how much more I have to do around here. The good news is, I got through this section in less than 30 minutes, and I do see and feel a difference having this one little space of order and serenity.

I am thinking that I need to get myself on some kind of program. Maybe I designate 15 minutes a day to go through things. Maybe I partner with a girlfriend and we help each other by showing some tough love as we go through and toss stuff. Maybe I commit to following FlyLady (oh, how I love her) every day for the next six months for motivation. Maybe this is my next chapter of 52Nudges.

Meanwhile, I have a new perspective on decluttering. It’s been a common theme in this nudging process, and at times it’s seemed silly, or not related to the bigger goals I have for myself. But I’ve come to see it not only as lightening my load and clearing the space around me so I can clear my the space in my head; I’m starting to understand it as a treasure hunt:

  • I better know what my treasurers are, those items that bring beauty and joy to my life, those items I want to keep
  • I unearth hints of who I am, old passions that might be rekindled, mementos of old achievements that remind me of what I’ve overcome and what I’m capable of

What personal treasures have you rediscovered?

Nudging: Clean out a drawer

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Backstory: This is part of my ongoing efforts to get rid of clutter, to open up some space and allow more light and breath into my life.

Earlier this week I caught up with my mom. After she gave me updates on various family members and we talked through possible plans for the December holidays, she shared with me what she had planned for her day: “Going through piles, reading the to do list, updating the to do list, sending recipes to friends, going through recipes and setting them aside because I’ll make them some day….”

And I saw my future.

I’m not sharing this with you to in any way dis my mom. But, honestly, I do not want to be looking at the same to do list 30 years from now. I do not want to be spending my golden years sorting through all the stuff and files and papers and projects I’ll get to “some day”.

In fact, I don’t want to be dealing with all this accumulated junk two years from now. So I’m starting somewhere.

 

P.S. This Tuesday, November 6, is Election Day here in the United States. If you haven’t already sent in your absentee ballot, please consider this your nudge to VOTE!

Nudged: Call someone I haven’t spoken to in 6+ months

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Backstory: Reconnecting can be divine. Recently, I chatted with a friend I haven’t seen in 10 years (yikes, that flew by), and we picked up the conversation like we had last seen each other yesterday.

Certainly this Nudge has a bit of that hopefulness in it, but as I’m working on some different goals in my life, I recognize that there’s also a (selfish) part of me that needs to keep up my professional network. I mean, who knows who I might talk to who has a project for me or a job lead or knows a friend who has a colleague who is looking for someone just like me to fill a role in a fun company?

You never know where the conversation might lead.

Who you gonna call?

What Happened: I scrolled through my Contacts list and noted five who had potential:

  • A long-ago client, who became a friend
  • A very busy working mom of two small children
  • A friend who popped up on Facebook after being AWOL for ages
  • The mother of a close friend to whom I feel I owe a catching-up call
  • A friend who always says “Let’s get together!” but is never the one to make the plans

I kinda cheated on the first two. Texted the client to see if she was available to meet up for a glass of wine. She wasn’t this week, but the door is open to find another time. I also texted the busy mom with a “Thinking of you!” message. This whole chapter of her life is insane right now, and part of me feels like I don’t want to burden her with friendship. But I do want to keep the connection open, and someday we’ll reconnect (I hope).

Midweek, a woman I was supposed to interview for an article had to reschedule. Suddenly I had an hour free, so I pulled out my list. I took inventory of my feelings as I considered the last three women, and you know what? I didn’t feel like talking with any of them. I didn’t feel like being the friend who, once again, is the one making all the effort. If they wanted to talk with me, they have my number.

Instead, I called a dear friend, someone I talk with pretty regularly, though not often. She is someone who gets the whole give-and-take of a friendship. Sometimes she is the one who reaches out to me. This week, I reached out to her.

The timing was perfect. I caught her during a breather at work and we caught up on how our parents are doing, travel plans, dreams and intuitions for our futures. It was a short and sweet conversation, it was a lovely reconnection.

The Ah-Ha: I make an effort into keeping in touch with a wide network of people—family, friends, former coworkers. I think it’s important to maintain connections, but, with some people, there’s a part of me that’s tired of doing all the work, and I got clearer on this for myself this week. Why do I put energy into relationships that just suck energy out of me? Why do I even care about trying to reach out in friendship to people who only get in touch when they need something (money, a favor, a few hours of free work on their website “because we’re friends”)? Hmmph.

Actually, it’s deeper than just being tired of trying to keep up with the masses. Instead, I’d like to put that extra time and energy into the nurturing the dear friendships I do have. Quality over quantity. I’d like to spend more time discovering the depths of a selection of relationships, and build upon those.

As I considered who I might call this week to complete the Nudge, I realized I’m okay with quietly letting some people go and getting on with life.

I feel like I’ve taken “decluttering” to a whole new level.

Nudging: Listen to two old CDs

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Backstory: Because I work from an office in our home and do little driving, the same six CDs have been in my car for…two years? Longer? Sheesh, that’s embarrassing. And pretty much the only time I listen to music at home is while I’m prepping and cooking dinner. You’d think I could change up my playlist periodically, but my reality (some might call it my “rut”) is that the soundtrack to Hamilton! is on constant rotation. Not a bad choice, but the neighbors are probably sick of hearing me bellow out “Here comes the General—RISE UP!” at 7:34 pm every single night. (“An-ge-li-caaa…Ee-liii-za…AND PEGGY!”)

I don’t know what I thought I’d learn from this Nudge. I suppose it’s another step in the clearing out process to re-evaluate treasures and determine whether they are to be saved, tossed, or shared. Or maybe I just need to remember the pleasures of listening to really great music more often.