Tag Archives: experiment

Nudging: Try a New Recipe

Backstory: Good timing!

I pulled this Nudge several months ago, when I didn’t have the time and wasn’t in the mood. But I love cooking and baking! I love experimenting in the kitchen! And my file of recipes (clipped from magazines and printed from online sources) is overflowing, so this is the perfect time to get back into an activity that feeds (pun fully intended) my soul.

Maybe this is the week you try a healthy version of one of your favorite dishes. Or challenge yourself with a meal from a different culture. Or, if cooking is not your thing, spread your wings and try a new technique in a hobby that makes you happy. The key words here are “try” and “new”.

Nudged: Wear a different scarf every day

Backstory: This came from two things: (1) my mojo goal of getting dressed every day and (2) my decluttering. I have a lot of scarves. I’m wondering if I really wear or need all of them. So I’m going to go through them this week and see what happens.

What Happened: On Sunday, I wore my one and only red sweater, but I don’t have a scarf with red in it. I have an ivory one, but I wear that all the time. I was feeling the need for coziness, so I put on a SF Giants-themed scarf made from fleece. It was a gift from special people a few Christmases ago, so I thought of them as I put it on and felt wrapped in a hug. Good choice.

On Monday, I decided to mix things up, have a little fun, and add an extra challenge. I reached into my closet and blindly chose a scarf, then had to build an outfit around it. I selected a silk paisley scarf in shades of purple. It was way dressier than my day (in the office, with tasks to do around the house), but okay. Game on! Instead of wearing it with the usual lavender sweater, I pulled out a pale pink. It worked! Instead of pearls, I dug out a pair of bronze-colored earrings. Nice. Hair up, mascara on, and I was ready for the day. I felt good.

Grapped a big pink pashima on Tuesday morning and paired it with a coat that hasn’t received much love lately. The coat is looking a little worn around the cuffs, and almost went into the dumpster…but…you know…with a little ribbon stitched around the edges, maybe I could remake this into something “new”? (Or better yet, maybe the tailor at our drycleaners could do it for me).

Wednesday’s pick was a super soft blue scarf. This one feels like wrapping my neck in a hug. Love this scarf. I’ve had it for…oh, geez, about half my life. It’s going nowhere.

I had to attend an event Thursday and had my outfit all picked out ahead of time in my mind. But with this Nudge, I decided to let Fate take over. I pulled out a scarf that I have mixed feelings about. It’s elegant and beautiful, but it’s not a great color on me. But that’s what I pulled, so that’s what I had to work with. Starting with the skirt I’d chosen for the evening, I selected a different top and shoes. The combination didn’t quite work. The colors were kinda there, but not exactly. Then, on a total whim, I turned the scarf over to its back side. Mind. Blown. Okay, that’s a bit overstated. But I got a whole “new” scarf out of it.

It’s the end of the week and I haven’t given away a single scarf. I’m okay with this. I was intentional about this Nudge and it totally worked for me, even challenged me to try new combinations in my wardrobe. What a fun win!

Some of this week’s scarves, all pretty and organized.

Ah-Hahs: I saved Friday for last. I had a long and busy day, but I had to run to the market. On a normal workday, I would have dashed out of the house in yoga pants, a big fleece jacket, hair in a messy bun, and maybe a dab of lip gloss.

But then I thought back to that great show What Not To Wear and how the hosts always said it takes just as long to dress nice as it does to dress sloppy. So true! Maneuvering into a snug sports bra and cramming my booty into formfitting leggings takes real effort! Instead, I pulled on skirt and sweater, slipped into loafers, and draped a scarf over my shoulders.

You know what, I didn’t just feel “nice”, I felt “chic.” And because I felt chic, I carried and presented myself better. And so I felt better about myself.

It’s the same lesson I reaffirmed when I wore different hats during the week for a Nudge not long ago. (Read that post here.) Really, being nice to ourselves and setting ourselves up for a great day is so simple. Let’s keep it up!

 

Nudged: Wear a different hat x4

Backstory: What makes me feel comfortable, feel good, feel like me? I’ve amassed quite a collection of hats over the years, from travels and gifts and some spontaneous as well as thoughtful purchases. Yet I’ve noticed recently that I gravitate to the same few over and over. So this Nudge is part closet purging and part getting clear on what feels right for me.

What Happened:

Monday: Worked from home all day. Wasn’t feeling it.

Tuesday: Well, this was fun. I quickly purged three hats:

(1) The old hat I used to wear running that is so badly stained (i.e., disgusting) that I wouldn’t dare wear it in public again. “Yet,” my inner debater said, “it is a great lightweight hat for running.” “Yet,” said my inner reasonable woman, “it’s been ages since you went running. If you get back into it, you can buy a clean new hat to motivate yourself.” Into the trash!

(2) A heavyweight winter baseball cap that was a fun gift, but that has always been uncomfortable. The cardboard bill has never relaxed, and it’s given me a headache every time I’ve worn it. Donate!

(3) Two hats that look far too much like a certain politically charged hat (one that was recently deemed a symbol of hate—yikes!). I have felt uncomfortable wearing both in public because I didn’t want to be mistaken for taking sides. I tried them on again, and one, actually, is not that comfortable. Donate! The other, actually, feels really good on, and maybe it doesn’t look that much like the offensive hat. I chose to wear it while running errands, to see if it got a reaction and how I felt in it. No big deal. This might be a keeper.

Wednesday: Had a client event tonight. My hair looked ah-mazing!, so didn’t want to smoosh it into hat head.

Thursday: Second-day hair looked not quite so amazing. Good thing it’s hat Nudging week! Pulled out one of my favorites, one that doesn’t get worn nearly enough. Paired it with a nice turtleneck, cool shades, lovely earrings, and the “good” trenchcoat (that also doesn’t get taken out enough). I felt so chic!

Me so chic!

Friday: Today I took a sick day. My body said, “Rest,” and for once I listened. Even though I knew I wouldn’t be going out, I took a few minutes to pull the remaining hats from my closet—winter, spring, summer, fall—and try all them on. So cute! I am already thinking about outfits I might put together when the sun comes out.

The last hat I pulled on was a cap a dear friend knitted for me. Baby soft, in my favorite color (lime green), it was like receiving a hug from her. So I left it on and will wear it while I curl up with tea and a good book and take care of myself today.

Ah-Hahs: When I wear something special—a jaunty hat, the “good” jewelry—I feel better. This week’s Nudge reaffirmed how being nice to myself and dressing well impacts everything I do during the day. It’s pretty simple.

I also had a lot of fun feeling chic. This reminded me of when I stopped in a local café several years ago for a coffee and pastry and couldn’t help but notice a woman seated a few tables away. She wasn’t supermodel gorgeous, she wasn’t famous; she’d possibly be described as “a woman of a certain age.” But she had something, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Sitting with just lovely posture, she sipped her cappuccino, nibbled her pastry, and read the daily paper. She was wearing dark jeans, a nice cotton blouse, a navy blazer with gold buttons, and gold pumps. Gold shoes! Fabulous!

Feeling somewhat invisible in my sloppy dog-park attire (tragic, but real), I snuck a photo of her with my phone. I printed it out and tacked it to a board in my office for inspiration because I wanted to be like her. That photo stayed on my board for several years until I accepted I can be like her. Or rather, I am my best me.

Go be your best you. ♥

 

Nudging: Wear a different hat x4

Backstory: What makes me feel comfortable, feel good, feel like me? I’ve amassed quite a collection of hats over the years, from travels and gifts and some spontaneous as well as thoughtful purchases. Yet I’ve noticed recently that I gravitate to the same few over and over. So this Nudge is part closet purging and part getting clear on what feels right for me.

P.S. For you maybe it’s shoes or sweaters or jewelry (see the “Wear the nice jewelry” post from last year for motivation). Set aside some time this week to experiment and figure out what’s right for you.

52+: When Nudging pays off

There’s this local craft spirits distillery I’ve been curious about for a couple of years. When a friend introduced me to their gin, in particular, I was surprised by how much I liked it. I wanted to learn more. I picked up a book about the history of gin. I tried flights at bars and experimented with cocktails at home.

Then about eight months ago, I nudged myself and coordinated a group of friends to go for a tour and tasting. It was fantastic. The whole time we were there I kept thinking, “It would be really fun to work here.”

So I nudged myself again and called them. Turns out they were hiring for the tasting room team, so I applied. And then I interviewed, went through intense training, was tested extensively, and got hired. I’m now there every Sunday alongside wonderful colleagues. I welcome guests from all over the world, tell stories, and learn new things.

I know: Wow!

This isn’t replacing my day job; it’s actually on top of all the other things I do. Friends have suggested I’ll one day write a book about gin, or start distilling my own in the bathtub. (Never say never!) I don’t know. I don’t know who I might meet or where it might lead. The future is uncertain, of course, so for now I’m just having fun. (And getting paid a bit while doing it.)

I have been meaning to share this with the 52Nudges community for ages, but there was part of me that wanted to make sure the job would “stick” before I went public. That sounds silly, now, but I was uneasy. Would they like me? Would I screw up? Would I burn out?

So far so good.  🙂

I share this with you now because I realize all of this came about because I opened myself up to opportunities and I nudged myself to:

  • Plan a fun outing with friends
  • Do something that scares me
  • Take a risk
  • Challenge my intellect and learn something new
  • Pursue a passion

If I wrapped up this whole 52Nudges project right now, I’d consider it a win. However, this experience inspires me to keep going. What might the next Nudge reveal? I am excited to discover the possibilities.

How will you nudge yourself this week? Is there something on the edge of your dreams you want to try? Please hear this from me: Go for it. ♥

Nudged: Clear off dresser top; end of week, redo

Backstory: It’s not the worst hot spot in the house, but as I take in what’s there—what has been sitting there for years—I’m ashamed. Photos of cute toddlers (who are now teenagers with driver’s licenses), old CDs that have lost their cases (can’t recall the last time I listened to them), favorite items of jewelry that need repair (and so have been unworn and unappreciated), Mardi Gras beads…Mardi Gras beads? Really?

 

Before.

What Happened: After pulling everything off and setting it aside in a box for later review, I gave the mirror a good Windex shine and wiped off the layer of dust that had accumulated. I was going to polish the antique wood, but discovered we were out of polish. I wanted to give this beautiful piece of furniture, which has been with me since elementary school, some love, so lemony polish was added to the grocery list, and midweek it got its “massage”.

During.

Several times during the week I caught myself thinking, “I’ll just set this laundry/book/mug/clipping/to do list here for a minute.” But having the dresser top completely empty caused me to stop and do otherwise, which usually meant putting the item in its own place. (Ah-hah.) The practice also caused me to be more aware of the other hot spots in our home: the dining room table continues to be the catch-all, the spare table in the kitchen continues to “temporarily” house many items that don’t fit in our limited storage space.

By coincidence (or not), I talked to two friends who have been more aggressively clearing out clutter after reading the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo. They look at each item and ask themselves, “Does this bring me joy?” If not, out it goes. One friend, who is further along in the process, told me she no longer has any knickknacks, no longer has anything to dust. Now that’s appealing! She realized what gives her true joy is spending time with friends, being outside with her dogs, going on hikes. So that’s how she now spends her time. I find that a little scary (giving up my stuff) and very intriguing.

What did I discover brought me joy? A crystal bowl with a few flowers floating it in. That’s it! Simple, beautiful. And no junk around it to distract me

Will I keep it this way? I still have the box of stuff off to the side because I don’t yet know what to do with it. Perhaps a couple of family photos will make their way back, and the jewelry needs to go somewhere (other than a cardboard box on the floor). We’ll see.

The Ah-Hah: I look at the top of my dresser every day, several times a day, and on some conscious or unconscious level it makes an impression: This is a mess. You are a mess. Add this to your to do list. Pull yourself together!

I realize declutting nudges have appeared several times over the past months, which sometimes feels annoying to me (and maybe to you, too). But I have come to believe it’s more than just throwing out old stuff. In the process I’m clearing space to allow more light, joy, and creativity into my life. I’m uncovering underused treasures while acknowledging other items that have served their purposes and can now go delight someone else. I’m making way for calm and peace. And so I keep at it.

I’d love to hear how you’re doing with all this. You already know I’m a big fan of the FlyLady (a free site where you are lovingly encouraged to clear all sorts of clutter from your life), and I’m curious about the tidying-up book mentioned above.

What are you doing? How are you doing? What are you discovering about yourself in the process? I hope you’ll share.

 

Nudged: Go to the gym 3x

Backstory: This was a drop-in, you won’t find it on the List. Here’s what happened:

My darling husband, Thor (the name he picked for himself for when he’s mentioned here), has been checking every Sunday to hear about what I’ve done and what I’ve drawn for the coming week. He’s made some excellent suggestions along the way, and helped me to rehash and reevaluate post-Nudge thoughts. A few times I’ve asked if he’s wanted to do the Nudge with me, but he’s always declined. Up till this week.

We’ve both been super-busy with work commitments, with additional events happening after hours and on weekends. It’s a lot. And lately I’ve found our daily check-in conversation goes something like this:

Venus: How was your day?

Mars: Fine.

Venus: How are you?

Mars: Fine.

Venus: What’s on your mind?

Mars: Nothing.

So yesterday we took Louie the dog out for a long walk and caught up. After our usual check-ins (see above), he shared with me that he’s dragging around the weight of not knowing what he wants to do with the last half of his life, a dilemma I can certainly relate to. Many of our friends are retiring from careers and now have time to pursue long-time passions and hobbies. What might ours be? We’ve talked about signing up for classes, brainstorming, getting creative about figuring this out…. No surprise, to him (to many of us) the prospect of figuring out The Rest of Our Lives is overwhelming.

I shared with him the questions Saeeda shared with me during our interview a couple of months ago (read it here): Not “What do you want to do?” in life, but “How do you want to feel?” There are no right/wrong answers, I said to Thor. “You can pick intellectually challenged, silly, strong, relaxed, content, intrigued, entertained…let’s start with how you’d like to feel and we’ll figure out the doing part later.”

Over brunch I suggested we brainstorm some ideas for this. Not happening. Okay. But mid-afternoon he told me he’d decided his Nudge for this week would be “Go to the gym 3 times.” Perfect.

I will be doing this Nudge with him. It’s my hope that we’ll go to the gym together on some, if not all, outings, but since he likes to get up at 4:00 am (and I, well, don’t), we’ll see how it goes.

As we head into this week, I’m thinking about how having someone as an accountability partner can nudge us a little further. Or it can simply make it more fun. If you don’t have a spouse or significant other, think about asking a friend to join you in a Nudge. If that doesn’t feel comfortable to you, then consider making me your partner. Share your chosen Nudge for the week, update me in comments, and at the end of the week, let me know how you did. Let’s encourage each other to fuller lives.

What Happened: Monday morning, 4:55 am: “Kath. It’s time.”

My darling likes to get up at 4:00 am on weekdays, have his coffee, watch the news, clean the kitchen (I told you he’s a gem), then be at the gym when they open their doors at 5:00 sharp. I aspire to this, but my days are really really long and I get really really tired. I begged off on this first day. However, a couple of hours later, when my to do list threatened to consume all of today and tomorrow, I remembered my commitment to this Nudge and got myself out the door. Got my workout in and checked off the first of three days. Yay!

Tuesday morning I was up and dressed before Thor gave me my five-minute warning. We got to the gym, got in our workouts, and got our days started. Wahoo!

Wednesday: I don’t know if this is allergies or a cold or my body just crying uncle. I’m out. Thor had an especially long day ahead, so he went into the office to prep early. There’s still time to do this.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday…(see “Wednesday”).

The Ah-Ha: You know, “best laid plans” and all. We both got two outta three, and I’ll take it. It was fun to come up with this idea and pursue it together, and I’m proud of us for giving this a shot.

I also realize this whole creative Nudging adventure is not really Thor’s thing, and I won’t push him to actively participate with me each week, but I do hope we’ll figure out other Nudges we can do together.

I asked Thor for his ah-hah on his first full Nudging experience and got, “It was fine.”

I’m good with that.

What greeted me at 5:00 am 🙂

 

Nudged: Get 8 hours of sleep every night

Backstory: Well, um, I need to get more and better sleep.

I keep hearing about how lack of sleep effects everything, including my ability to lose weight. I know I need to be better about this, but it always seems to be the easiest thing to cut when deadlines and to do lists and responsibilities are hanging over me.

It’s no coincidence that I recently finished reading the August issue of National Geographic, for which the theme is “The Science of Sleep.”

Did you know “anyone who regularly sleeps less than six hours has a higher risk of depression, psychosis, stroke, and obesity”?

Yikes.

So this week I’m going to walk away from the office, turn off the TV, ignore the phone, and catch some extra zzzzzs.

 

P.S. For inspiration and motivation, I recommend you read the book Thrive by Arianna Huffington. No spoilers, but she got a “wake-up call” when sleep deprivation became a real problem from her—then she took the steps to make a good night’s sleep a priority in her life.

 

What Happened: Here is a photo of my cozy nest, my new Happy Place:

I nailed this Nudge. Every night this week I was in bed, lights out, by 11:00. Most nights I was tucked in before 10. This is huge for me. And even though there were a couple of nights when I woke up in the wee hours, this week I was able to go back to sleep after a short break. (Typically I am wide awake and up for a few hours—hello, hormonal fluctuations!) My daily average: 8.33 hours.

I wish I could tell you how I managed to pull this off, but I didn’t do anything other than set an intention to go to bed at a “decent” hour and then do it. No reading one more chapter, no running one more load of laundry, no replying to one (or two or ten) more emails. Lights out!

The Ah-Hahs: To completely skew all scientific research on this Nudge, I also decided to make this a week of (almost) no online news. I didn’t read the stories about local crime on SFGate, check on our country’s standing on the international stage on BBC, like any postings from “friends” on Facebook, or keep up with the Kardashians on People.

I can’t tell you if all of the above or parts contributed to weight loss (didn’t weigh in this week) or helped me be more creative and productive in my work or made me less susceptible to serious health issues. But I can tell you I feel good today. I might even say I feel rested.

Wow.

 

Nudged: Move something (i.e., a piece of furniture)

Backstory: This one is easy. For the past several years, my desk has faced a wall that displays an outline made up of sticky notes for a book that I’m on track to finish this fall. I’ve stared at this wall, gained inspiration from it, been frustrated by it. As this Big Project comes to a close, I’m ready to change my perspective. I’m thinking I’ll turn the desk 45 degrees so that it will now face the window and look out onto our backyard. This will be the first small step toward the larger project of (finally) redecorating this room with paint, curtains, and a rug in warm colors. I’m excited to do this.

What Happened: “What’s this week’s Nudge?” My husband, Thor (that’s the name he chose for himself for when I write about him), has gotten in the habit of asking this question every Sunday, and I love how supportive he’s been with everything. I told him I’d need his help to move my desk, to which he responded, “What’s our Nudge?” Turns out he had something else in mind. “How about we move the bed?” Uh, “Okay.”

The man takes his plans seriously, apparently, and he got down to business over lunch on Saturday when he drew up options (see below) for where we might put the bed, and what else we might have to move to accommodate the shift.

If you’ve ever done any remodeling, you know what’s coming. You buy something as simple as a new lamp, and suddenly the couch looks shabby. So you buy a new slipcover, and the drapes no longer match. There goes the rug, the coffee table, the paintings…total snowball effect.

A similar thing happened with this Nudge. We moved our one piece of furniture, which was a big undertaking on its own, but then came the collateral damage. We Swiffered and vacuumed a good three years of dust bunnies and dog fur. We decided to take down all the curtains and wash them. We realized after taking apart the California king-size bed and moving all the parts into the hallway that we had bolted the headboard to the wall. We decided it will stay in place for a month while we determine if we like the new arrangement.

In the process of moving heavy items, we ripped out the TV cable cord (another appointment for my to do list) and scratched the 90-year-old hardwood floor. (Guardsman’s Touch Up Pen is my new best friend.) By the time we were done, we had moved nine pieces of furniture. Nine. This was no “nudge,” this was a full-on move.

The Ah-Ha: This whole thing felt like a hilarious scene from a marriage. A bit of arguing, a lot of compromising, some decent teamwork, and some laughter at ourselves. This was not what I had in mind when I added this Nudge to my list, but like all the others, it’s the unexpected results that are the most revealing.

I was hoping to get a new perspective, and I got it. As we dropped our sore and tired bodies in to bed last night, I felt like I was on vacation in a new place. The light from the windows hit me at a different angle, the sounds—from the tree outside to the dog’s breathing in his bed—took on slightly different tones. I felt disoriented, but not uncomfortable. Waking up, I was not in my routine. I had to be a little more aware as I navigated my way from the warm bed across the dark room. It was…stimulating. That’s the best description I can come up with. It was different, new, challenging, and, yes, stimulating.

Once we finished resetting the bedroom, Thor said, “Now let’s go move your desk.” My back was crying uncle, so I suggested we put it off another day. But then, as I thought about it, I said, “What would you think of moving your desk in with mine?” Currently his desk shares space with the guest room. I’d love to get him out of there, make the guest room really nice and welcoming. But more than that, I’d love to have his company. It’s so crazy how often we’re working on our different projects after hours with a wall between us. Even though this is my space during the week, I’d love to have him with me on weekends while we pay bills or catch up on emails and YouTube videos.

I’m a little nervous that if we make this new move it will create another snowball effect (feeling the need to remodel everything in the house), but I’m open to the changes. And that’s what makes all of this Nudging business fun.

Thor and I going to look at our options after breakfast. 🙂

 

Nudging: Wander an expensive store, touch everything I want (but don’t spend a dime)

Backstory: I groaned when I drew this Nudge, and almost used one of my passes. Money is tight, bills are due, I have a long list of things I need to put our money toward (roof repairs) and things I want to put our money toward (a real vacation). Why would I even want to be tempted by looking at pretty new things?

As I thought about the deeper meaning on this Nudge, I realized it’s not really about stuff. Maybe what I need to be doing is changing the energy surrounding me and my money. Maybe if in my mind I accept the items I touch, I will manifest receiving them, or I will simply stir up some newly energized wealth—in whatever form it comes.

Hey, I said I wanted to be “uncomfortable” in this journey. I best embrace that.

P.S. On the topic of wanting to save money, I stumbled upon this article on the BBC website about living “off-peak”. I love that this is really an exercise in living creatively, and I’m thinking a couple of the writer’s ideas need to be added to my List, such as meeting for breakfast vs after-dinner drinks and seeing if my favorite local bakery (Hello, Noe Valley Bakery!) offers day-old croissants (not likely) or baguettes (maybe). I might also start a list of books I want and wait for sales at my favorite shops (Hello, BookShop West Portal and Omnivore Books!). Maybe even saving money can be fun!