Backstory: Do I want to change careers? Go back to school? Master a new skill?
In her book Sacred Success (see “For Inspiration” in the right column), author Barbara Stanny talks about one of her clients who was terrified about taking on a new challenge in her work. “I am not qualified…I better stay away…I might mess it up,” she told herself. (Hmmm, that inner voice sounds familiar.) Instead, she gave herself permission to be not perfect. “When you screw up, you can clean it up!” she told herself as she dove in. She later revealed that the secret was realizing “For everything I don’t know, I know someone who knows. I can just call them and they can tell me what to do—or do it for me!”
One of the most valuable gifts we have in life is our extended network. We know women who have made big changes in their own lives, women who have impacted ours in ways big and small, and women who are willing to mentor or at the very least give real-life answers to our really scary questions. What do I want to know? Who can I ask? How might it redirect me toward something I really want?
Who are you gonna call?
What Happened: Starting Sunday, I brainstormed experts I might call and questions I wanted answered. There’s the author of the soon-to-be-released memoir about personal transformation. (Would I ask about her journey or ask her about the ins and outs of 21st-century publishing?) I thought about exploring pastry making and cake decorating, skills I would love to acquire. My husband has a friend who volunteers for an organization that helps women escape from human trafficking and sets them up for fresh starts; maybe I could interview her about how I could contribute. Or I could email Elizabeth Gilbert, Expert in Living a Full Live, and see if she’d give me some advice. It can’t hurt to ask!
As I pondered my many choices, I got an email Tuesday morning from Kelly Mishell, a long-time friend who is a life coach who specializes in teaching women about the Law of Attraction. “Start each day with intention,” her email said. That’s interesting. I had read that same suggestion in a book the night before. Coincidence?
I’ve thought about becoming certified as a life coach, so figured she’d be the perfect expert to interview for my Nudge. Then a funny thing happened: This morning, as I drafted my questions for our interview, I realized I didn’t want her expert advice on becoming a coach, I wanted her expert advice on utilizing the Law of Attraction in my life.
Bingo.
Following is a transcript of our interview, all of which makes up this week’s…
Ah-Ha:
Kath Woods: What is the Law of Attraction?
Kelly Mishell: Everything unto itself attracts. Whatever you put out into the Universe is coming back to you energetically. Every thing in the Universe is energy. This includes things we see, our physical bodies, and our thoughts and feelings. So, say you’re feeling joy. It has a frequency and vibration, like a radio frequency. If you’re putting that out, the Universe matches your vibration and sends that back to you. Joy = Joy, also, Frustration = Frustration.
KW: Do you teach people how to control this?
KM: It’s not acting “as if”, it’s not masking. You can’t fake out the Universe with “Just think positively!” If you’re just covering crap with a bunch of roses, it’s still crap. You have to find better feeling thoughts.
KW: How does this work, for example, with worries about money?
KM: Instead of lack thought, such as “I can’t take a vacation, I never have enough money,” you have to shift to “I have everything I need. I’d like more money so I can take a vacation.” Another example would be the lack thought of “I’ve gone on so many bad dates, I’ll never meet the right person” or you can think “I’ve gone on so many bad dates, I know the right person is out there.” I coach clients to keep trying with a new statement until they find one that feels better, then they can use it as a mantra. You have to get into the habit of, when the mind goes to negative, you catch it and flip it.
KW: So it’s about mastering the feeling? Is that right?
KM: It takes 17 seconds for the Universe to match the vibration you’re putting out. If you can feel better and feel abundance, it gets matched. Then to manifest it, it takes 68 seconds, so you might speak it aloud for 68 seconds. There are other details, such as being clear and being specific, so that the Universe knows how to give to you. You don’t change overnight, so I give my clients exercises to practice—repetition and reinforcement—until it becomes habit.
KW: What kinds of requests do you get from clients?
KM: I get women who want to change careers but don’t know how or are afraid to do it. Some want the confidence to do anything, others want help in relationships, such as overcoming the fear of commitment. As women, we’re judging ourselves so harshly. “Is this how you’d treat your best friend?” I ask. I give clients exercises to help them know their worth, know their own light. I did it for myself. Marianne Williams said, “It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.” When we shine our light, we make it possible for others to shine too.
KW: How do you Nudge yourself?
KM: I say “Yes” to things. In the past, I thought everything through. I needed to see the outcome before I began. It was fear-based. Now I say “Yes”, then I figure it all out. The saying goes, “God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.”
If you’re interested in learning more about the Law of Attraction and/or Kelly’s work, go to Kelly Mishell Coaching. If you could use an extra boost, sign up to receive her free “Weekly Wisdom” inspirational messages.