Tag Archives: household

Nudging: Room by room, tidy the house

Backstory: At my core, I am that woman who starts her day by making her bed. That one simple act clears space in my head and somehow helps me feel that I’ve accomplished at least one small thing.

Meanwhile, I am also that woman who still has Christmas decorations up in her house. In February. Not a lot, but they’re there, mocking me, nagging me to add de-decorating to my massive to do list and “Pull yourself together, woman!”

The idea for this nudge came from FlyLady, whom you’ve heard me talk about before. FLY stands for “Finally Loving Yourself”, and the message is about taking small steps to reclaim our lives, starting with tidying up our homes.

This isn’t crisis cleaning before guests come to stay. This isn’t deep spring cleaning, when you move the furniture and shake out all the rugs and dust and polish every corner and crevice. (I’ve never actually done that, btw. Does anyone?) The plan is to set a timer for a short period–maybe 10 to 20 minutes–and hustle at small tidying tasks. I might take out all the trash and put new bags in the cans. Or I might fold a basket of laundry, put everything away, and move the basket from the side of my bed to the laundry room. Or I might peel the paper snowflakes off the front windows, take down the Christmas wreath, take the Bing Crosby and Nancy Wilson holiday CDs out of the player in my car (for Pete’s sake!), and put everything back in storage.

For more info about how to do this, check out the “Getting Started Tips” at the FLYLady website. And if you’re inspired to do more decluttering in your life, pick up one of her books, Sink Reflections and The CHAOS Cure.

Got your timer? Ready…set…go!

Nudged: Buy a new houseplant

Backstory: I have no recollection of why I put this on the list. It doesn’t feel dramatic or uncomfortable, other than spending money on things like new houseplants is way down at the bottom of the to do list. We have plenty of plants, and I like having fresh flowers in my office and bedroom especially. Hmmmm…. This one could be a dud.

What Happened: Early in the week, I took a tour around our home and evaluated the plants. It was interesting to me how many of them came with backstories, including several we received as housewarming and hostess gifts from dear friends. I do a pretty decent job of keeping everything alive. But there are no plants in our bathroom, and it seems a pretty obvious spot. Good indirect light, lots of steam. Or may I need to move things around, see if one of the plants would do better in a different spot. Hmmm…

I continued to mull while I ran errands, then was hit with inspiration at the grocery store. Five dollars at Trader Joe’s. I’ve spent more on a large mocha! For five measly dollars, I now have this sweet succulent, with its elegant dark-pink edging, for my bathroom counter.

That’s the space I decided needed some love. Every so often (like when we were expecting company), I’d buy some fresh flowers for that spot, but before this morning, I had a vase with dried flowers there. Now it’s fresh and happy and makes me smile.

The Ah-Hah: Let me be honest: Those dried flowers had been sitting there for at least six months and were covered with dust. Gross. Now I have something live and pretty and low-maintenance (it’s a succulent, so I should be able to keep it alive with minimal effort).

So, nothing earth-shattering learned from this week’s Nudge, other than a reminder to look around my home once in a while and think about how I might treat it like the lady she is. And think about how I spend my money. A $5 mocha is a nice treat once in a while and will make me feel peppy for a few hours. But a pretty plant that will last for months (if not years) feels like a bargain.

Nudging: Buy a new houseplant

Buon giorno! I’m back from a fun and relaxing vacation, hoping to hang on to my calm new perspective for a while and use this clarity to help me move forward discovering and pursuing what most feeds my soul. In the next few weeks I’m going to be revisiting everything Nudging and thinking and planning for a new round of 52 Nudges. I hope you’ll join me! In the meantime, I pulled the following to get me back in the Nudging groove. Here we go!

Backstory: I have no recollection of why I put this on the list. It doesn’t feel dramatic or uncomfortable, other than spending money on things like new houseplants is way down at the bottom of the to do list. We have plenty of plants, and I like having fresh flowers in my office and bedroom especially. Hmmmm…. This one could be a dud.

 

Seeking guest bloggers! Would you be interested in sharing your experience with a Nudge? Or maybe introducing a Nudge of your own, letting us all follow along, then following up with your “What Happened” and “Ah-Hahs”? I’d love to include some new voices in this. Send me a message here and I’ll get back to you with details.

Nudged: Do something I hate (i.e., weeding)

Backstory: Ugh. Remember when I/we did something that scared us? (Read that post here.) That was scary (obvs), but it also had an element of fun. Not so much this Nudge. This has a taint of must-do, take responsibility, be an adult.

Or…I need to see this as spreading my wings and taking a leap of faith out of my nest.

That seems much more exciting, doesn’t it? 🙂 Let’s do this.

What Happened: The actual slip of paper for this Nudge includes “(i.e., weeding)”, so I initially thought about weeding at least part of the backyard, but couldn’t bring myself to do it. (Seriously, I do not enjoy gardening, as we learned in this post about finding a new bookstore. When I win big in the lottery, my first outsourcing will be to hire someone to clean up my garden—and maintain it—for me.)

Instead I decided to tackle the refrigerator. This is one of those household tasks that ends up on my to do list almost every week, and almost every week gets bumped to the end of the line.

So… I pulled on the ol’ rubber gloves, grabbed the trash can, and dove in.

Two words: Bio. Hazard.

Is sticking to a new diet on your list of New Year’s Resolutions? Then I’ve got a sure-fire trick for you to achieve your goal. Just pull a few condiments out of your fridge, read the expiration dates (oh, sweet god), then try, just see if you can open the lids that have become glued to the jars by what is now unidentifiable muck.

Gag-o-rama.

But it got done. All of it. And honestly, it wasn’t all that bad. Nothing pre-dated my marriage, which made me feel a tiny bit better about things. (I say this because there was a time when I went through the spice rack and discovered some items lurking in the back that should have been added to the compost pile ages ago). And there wasn’t a lot. I was definitely shaming myself for wasted food as I tossed unused items, but I couldn’t dwell on things that at this point were way beyond saving.

Ah-Hah: So fresh start. Clean shelves. Open spaces. When I popped out to the market this afternoon, I only purchased ingredients for our next several meals, and you can trust that moving forward I’ll be conscientious about only buying what we need for now.

It’s not perfectly organized, but it’s clean and I know what’s in there. Progress!

I’d like to tell you that during the process I also experienced a personal ah-hah, one in which I chose to embrace that every day is a fresh start with open spaces for new opportunities. I didn’t.

I also could have looked at this as an opportunity to examine the things in my life that have the potential to make me “sick”, physically, emotionally. I didn’t really do that either. But somewhere in the back shelves of my subconscious, the ideas are there, and maybe I’ll find myself making healthier choices as a result.

What did you weed out of your life this week?

Nudged: Fix something

Backstory: Right after I pulled this Nudge from the jar, I scribbled down a list of to dos from off the top of my head: replace the smoke detector in my office, clear the shower drain, mend the collar of my favorite sweater…. Easy things to do, I suppose, so I don’t understand why this list grows and grows as I put things off.

Or maybe this Nudge isn’t about literally fixing a “thing” but about mending a rift, rebuilding a connection, healing a hurt. There’s all sorts of ways we can approach this one. Let’s see what comes up.

What Happened: Monday morning I pulled out my actual to do list (which runs four pages in double columns of nine-point font—ugh) and combined that with the list I came up with on the fly Sunday morning. There are big to dos, like scheduling repair work on my car, and little to dos, including all those “quick ’n’ easy” tasks that pile up. I imagined taking half a day and buzzing around, crossing things off the list, while Rimsky-Korsakov’s “Flight of the Bumblebee” played in the background.

Tuesday our wonderful housekeeper cleared the shower drain, so I got a freebie. Today I faced a big work deadline, so naturally this was the perfect time to distract myself. I set my timer for one hour (to help me stay focused), then grabbed some tools. First I removed the showerhead that has been spraying us at about 50% capacity lately. After soaking it in lime remover didn’t make a difference, I went online for help and found a recipe for 1/3 cup baking soda + 1 cup white vinegar for dissolving deposits. While that soaked, I grabbed the WD40 and oiled all the locks. No more struggling to get into the house! Then I super-glued a piece of art that has been in need of attention for like a year. Check, check, check. Huzzah! I felt like such a super woman and I had fun.

Fun?

Yes, fun.

I feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment when I fix things around the house. I know this is in part because some of these tasks are considered “man’s work”, and dangit, I like knowing I can take care of things myself (thank you very much).

“I am woman. Hear me…wrench something!”

Ah-Hahs: What needs fixing most? My attitude. Sure, dealing with household chores is a pain, but they have to be done. So…why not make a game out of it or turn up the stereo and dance my way through them? Think of all I could accomplish and how much more fun I could inject into my life if I just fix myself a little bit. Hmmm….

Nudged: Clear off dresser top; end of week, redo

Backstory: It’s not the worst hot spot in the house, but as I take in what’s there—what has been sitting there for years—I’m ashamed. Photos of cute toddlers (who are now teenagers with driver’s licenses), old CDs that have lost their cases (can’t recall the last time I listened to them), favorite items of jewelry that need repair (and so have been unworn and unappreciated), Mardi Gras beads…Mardi Gras beads? Really?

 

Before.

What Happened: After pulling everything off and setting it aside in a box for later review, I gave the mirror a good Windex shine and wiped off the layer of dust that had accumulated. I was going to polish the antique wood, but discovered we were out of polish. I wanted to give this beautiful piece of furniture, which has been with me since elementary school, some love, so lemony polish was added to the grocery list, and midweek it got its “massage”.

During.

Several times during the week I caught myself thinking, “I’ll just set this laundry/book/mug/clipping/to do list here for a minute.” But having the dresser top completely empty caused me to stop and do otherwise, which usually meant putting the item in its own place. (Ah-hah.) The practice also caused me to be more aware of the other hot spots in our home: the dining room table continues to be the catch-all, the spare table in the kitchen continues to “temporarily” house many items that don’t fit in our limited storage space.

By coincidence (or not), I talked to two friends who have been more aggressively clearing out clutter after reading the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo. They look at each item and ask themselves, “Does this bring me joy?” If not, out it goes. One friend, who is further along in the process, told me she no longer has any knickknacks, no longer has anything to dust. Now that’s appealing! She realized what gives her true joy is spending time with friends, being outside with her dogs, going on hikes. So that’s how she now spends her time. I find that a little scary (giving up my stuff) and very intriguing.

What did I discover brought me joy? A crystal bowl with a few flowers floating it in. That’s it! Simple, beautiful. And no junk around it to distract me

Will I keep it this way? I still have the box of stuff off to the side because I don’t yet know what to do with it. Perhaps a couple of family photos will make their way back, and the jewelry needs to go somewhere (other than a cardboard box on the floor). We’ll see.

The Ah-Hah: I look at the top of my dresser every day, several times a day, and on some conscious or unconscious level it makes an impression: This is a mess. You are a mess. Add this to your to do list. Pull yourself together!

I realize declutting nudges have appeared several times over the past months, which sometimes feels annoying to me (and maybe to you, too). But I have come to believe it’s more than just throwing out old stuff. In the process I’m clearing space to allow more light, joy, and creativity into my life. I’m uncovering underused treasures while acknowledging other items that have served their purposes and can now go delight someone else. I’m making way for calm and peace. And so I keep at it.

I’d love to hear how you’re doing with all this. You already know I’m a big fan of the FlyLady (a free site where you are lovingly encouraged to clear all sorts of clutter from your life), and I’m curious about the tidying-up book mentioned above.

What are you doing? How are you doing? What are you discovering about yourself in the process? I hope you’ll share.

 

Nudging: Clear off dresser top; end of week, redo

Backstory: It’s not the worst hot spot in the house, but as I take in what’s there—what has been sitting there for years—I’m ashamed. Photos of cute toddlers (who are now teenagers with driver’s licenses), old CDs that have lost their cases (can’t recall the last time I listened to them), favorite items of jewelry that need repair (and so have been unworn and unappreciated), Mardi Gras beads…Mardi Gras beads? Really?

Nudged: Listen to two old CDs

Backstory: Because I work from an office in our home and do little driving, the same six CDs have been in my car for…two years? Longer? Sheesh, that’s embarrassing. And pretty much the only time I listen to music at home is while I’m prepping and cooking dinner. You’d think I could change up my playlist periodically, but my reality (some might call it my “rut”) is that the soundtrack to Hamilton! is on constant rotation. Not a bad choice, but the neighbors are probably sick of hearing me bellow out “Here comes the General—RISE UP!” at 7:34 pm every single night. (“An-ge-li-caaa…Ee-liii-za…AND PEGGY!”)

I don’t know what I thought I’d learn from this Nudge. I suppose it’s another step in the clearing out process to re-evaluate treasures and determine whether they are to be saved, tossed, or shared. Or maybe I just need to remember the pleasures of listening to really great music more often.

What Happened: I own David Sedaris’s Me Talk Pretty One Day on CD. I had completely forgotten about this, and even have the hardcover of this book on my nightstand to re-read this year. My god, but that man is hilarious—and heart-breaking. (“State v. Carolina” is a perfect example of both.) And there’s nothing like hearing his own stories in his very unique voice. I highly recommend!

I also found the classic The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart (“Abe Lincoln vs. Madison Avenue” and “Nobody Will Ever Play Baseball” are pure genius). I also dug up Salt and Dreaming Wide Awake from Lizz Wright (jazz singer with a voice that could melt butter), an early release from the young rockers of Acidic (check them out), and Cracked Rear View from Hootie & the Blowfish (confession: I still love them). Some of these replaced the ol’ favorites in my car, and the rest were stacked in the kitchen to accompany me in dinner prep.

Mid-week, our trusty portable CD player spun its final disc. It came with my marriage, so I’m not sure of its origins, but I guessing (based on the embedded cassette tape player) that it dates back to the last century (good grief). Still, it served me well in the kitchen and in this Nudge. Was its dying a sign that I was to do something else?

Nope. That night, Thor (darling husband) arrived with a box in hand, a brand new CD player (no cassette tape slot) that made our CDs sound even better. “You didn’t need to do that,” I said. “It was only like $40,” he said. He’s right. It’s a small investment in something that will entertain us for many more years in this century.

The Ah-Hah: I really just needed to remember the pleasures of listening to great music (and audio books and classic comedy routines). That’s it.

What’s on your playlist?

Nudging: Listen to two old CDs

Backstory: Because I work from an office in our home and do little driving, the same six CDs have been in my car for…two years? Longer? Sheesh, that’s embarrassing. And pretty much the only time I listen to music at home is while I’m prepping and cooking dinner. You’d think I could change up my playlist periodically, but my reality (some might call it my “rut”) is that the soundtrack to Hamilton! is on constant rotation. Not a bad choice, but the neighbors are probably sick of hearing me bellow out “Here comes the General—RISE UP!” at 7:34 pm every single night. (“An-ge-li-caaa…Ee-liii-za…AND PEGGY!”)

I don’t know what I thought I’d learn from this Nudge. I suppose it’s another step in the clearing out process to re-evaluate treasures and determine whether they are to be saved, tossed, or shared. Or maybe I just need to remember the pleasures of listening to really great music more often.

Nudged: Move something (i.e., a piece of furniture)

Backstory: This one is easy. For the past several years, my desk has faced a wall that displays an outline made up of sticky notes for a book that I’m on track to finish this fall. I’ve stared at this wall, gained inspiration from it, been frustrated by it. As this Big Project comes to a close, I’m ready to change my perspective. I’m thinking I’ll turn the desk 45 degrees so that it will now face the window and look out onto our backyard. This will be the first small step toward the larger project of (finally) redecorating this room with paint, curtains, and a rug in warm colors. I’m excited to do this.

What Happened: “What’s this week’s Nudge?” My husband, Thor (that’s the name he chose for himself for when I write about him), has gotten in the habit of asking this question every Sunday, and I love how supportive he’s been with everything. I told him I’d need his help to move my desk, to which he responded, “What’s our Nudge?” Turns out he had something else in mind. “How about we move the bed?” Uh, “Okay.”

The man takes his plans seriously, apparently, and he got down to business over lunch on Saturday when he drew up options (see below) for where we might put the bed, and what else we might have to move to accommodate the shift.

If you’ve ever done any remodeling, you know what’s coming. You buy something as simple as a new lamp, and suddenly the couch looks shabby. So you buy a new slipcover, and the drapes no longer match. There goes the rug, the coffee table, the paintings…total snowball effect.

A similar thing happened with this Nudge. We moved our one piece of furniture, which was a big undertaking on its own, but then came the collateral damage. We Swiffered and vacuumed a good three years of dust bunnies and dog fur. We decided to take down all the curtains and wash them. We realized after taking apart the California king-size bed and moving all the parts into the hallway that we had bolted the headboard to the wall. We decided it will stay in place for a month while we determine if we like the new arrangement.

In the process of moving heavy items, we ripped out the TV cable cord (another appointment for my to do list) and scratched the 90-year-old hardwood floor. (Guardsman’s Touch Up Pen is my new best friend.) By the time we were done, we had moved nine pieces of furniture. Nine. This was no “nudge,” this was a full-on move.

The Ah-Ha: This whole thing felt like a hilarious scene from a marriage. A bit of arguing, a lot of compromising, some decent teamwork, and some laughter at ourselves. This was not what I had in mind when I added this Nudge to my list, but like all the others, it’s the unexpected results that are the most revealing.

I was hoping to get a new perspective, and I got it. As we dropped our sore and tired bodies in to bed last night, I felt like I was on vacation in a new place. The light from the windows hit me at a different angle, the sounds—from the tree outside to the dog’s breathing in his bed—took on slightly different tones. I felt disoriented, but not uncomfortable. Waking up, I was not in my routine. I had to be a little more aware as I navigated my way from the warm bed across the dark room. It was…stimulating. That’s the best description I can come up with. It was different, new, challenging, and, yes, stimulating.

Once we finished resetting the bedroom, Thor said, “Now let’s go move your desk.” My back was crying uncle, so I suggested we put it off another day. But then, as I thought about it, I said, “What would you think of moving your desk in with mine?” Currently his desk shares space with the guest room. I’d love to get him out of there, make the guest room really nice and welcoming. But more than that, I’d love to have his company. It’s so crazy how often we’re working on our different projects after hours with a wall between us. Even though this is my space during the week, I’d love to have him with me on weekends while we pay bills or catch up on emails and YouTube videos.

I’m a little nervous that if we make this new move it will create another snowball effect (feeling the need to remodel everything in the house), but I’m open to the changes. And that’s what makes all of this Nudging business fun.

Thor and I going to look at our options after breakfast. 🙂