Tag Archives: kindness

Nudged: Learn the name of someone new

Backstory: There’s that old story about a test in a medical school in which a large portion of the grade is based on correctly answering one question: “What is the name of the woman who cleans up after us?”

The idea for this week’s Nudge came from that. I used to know the name of our postal carrier, the man who owned the drycleaning business down the street, the young woman who made my mochas at Peet’s, and the sweet man who greeted us so warmly at our favorite restaurant. But I’ve gotten out of practice. And there’s no excuse.

So this week I’m going to look for opportunities to step outside of my complacency zone and to talk with someone new.

What Happened: His name is Kong.

I’ve seen him regularly at the gym. He’s an elderly gentleman, not one of the iron-pumping guys who over-lifts to impress the girls, but nonetheless one of my fellow “gym rats” who likes to get in a workout  before the sun comes up. We’ve nodded to each other, said “Good morning,” but that’s about it…for years.

Two weeks ago that changed.

I’ve been out of my normal routine, haven’t been able to exercise as much as usual, and I definitely wasn’t hitting the elliptical machine at oh-six-hundred. But after I checked in that first official day back in the gym, he greeted me with “I’ve missed you! Is everything okay?”

I could have cried. It was so kind and thoughtful, and it touched my heart. I explained I’d been out for a medical reason, but was doing fine, was recovering, and was slowly making my way back to exercising again. “It’s good to see you again,” he said. “Thank you,” I managed, barely holding back tears. “You too.”

This morning was Day 2 of getting back in the groove, and there he was. “You look good! How are you feeling?” I thanked him, told him I was doing better, and that I was happy to see him. I wished him a good workout, then headed toward my first machine.

Then I stopped myself. Remembering this week’s Nudge, I turned around and went after him. “I’d like to know your name, please.”

“It’s Kong.”

I wasn’t sure I’d understood him at first, so asked him to spell it: K-O-N-G. “Kong,” I repeated. “And I’m Kathy. I’m so pleased to know you.”

The Ah-Hahs: I’m still glowing from this friendly exchange. I’m already looking forward to being back at the gym later this week. Look at that — bonus! And though I’ve already completed this Nudge, I’m looking forward to meeting more of my neighbors — and, I hope, soon-to-be-friends — this week.

 

Nudged: Compliment a stranger

Backstory: I suppose this one is along the lines of doing a “Fairy Deed” (read the post on that successful Nudge from last year here), but this is not anonymous. This is up close and personal. This is Putting Myself Out There.

Here we go. 🙂

What Happened: Right away I started looking for opportunities. Perhaps I could find something nice to say about a guest at work on Sunday, but we were busy, and the afternoon flew by and I forgot. Monday morning I got up before the sun to take my car in for service, but I was too tired (see worked all day Sunday) and I forgot.

Monday afternoon, after I picked up my car, I made a quick run to the grocery store for a few items. I don’t know what went haywire, but I got stuck in a line behind two other people while we waited for the person ahead of us to get a price checked or something. The tension grew. People behind me grumbled then switched to different lines. I thought about doing the same, but didn’t have it in me to pull all my stuff off the conveyor belt and schlep it over to the next cashier. (And we all know that as soon as you do that, their register crashes while your old line suddenly hits warp speed).

I stuck it out and opened my eyes. The two people in front of me had their kids with them, kids who looked to be the age of elementary school students. And these two amazing small humans were thoroughly enjoying this opportunity to get acquainted. They asked each other questions, they teased, they giggled. I caught myself smiling. So instead of stressing over being stuck, I focused on the joy in front of me.

When it became clear the line was going to move again, I leaned in toward their parents and said, “You both have adorable children.” I smiled, they smiled. They said, “Ah, thank you!” I left the store with a bag full of groceries and a heart full of warm fuzzies.

Ah-Hahs: On the drive home from the market I thought about how easy it was to shift my attitude from being annoyed to being entertained. That’s all it really took: a shift on my part. And I feel I could do this in just about any situation, so I hope now that I’m aware of it, I will remember to do it more often.

It also struck me that this change in attitude can be contagious. Mid-week I caught up with my dad, who is in his mid-80s and walks with a cane. He told me how people of all generations, colors, and genders are so kind to him, so helpful. They hold doors open and wait patiently while he goes through, and they tell him “Take your time” as he struggles to put back a grocery cart. At first he was surprised to be the recipient of all this good treatment, but now he sees the ripple effects and it inspires him to initiate.

It’s so easy to be kind. Let’s look for opportunities to do it more often.