Tag Archives: mojo

Nudged: Stash $s in pockets

Backstory: Maybe 25 years ago, a friend introduced me to this idea: Get a stack of dollar bills and “stash” them away in the pockets of coats, purses, hidden spots, etc., so that months later, when I find them again, I’ll be surprised and delighted. (I think it also had something to do with attracting abundance, but that part of it is lost to my memory.)

Imagine this: A couple of seasons from now, you’re heading out to run errands or meet a client or take care of some task that has you all stressed out. You hustle into your jacket, hoping it still fits after the indulges (aka stress eating) of the previous months, grab your purse, grab your keys, double-check to make sure your wallet and cell phone are with you. With a deep breath (aka heavy sigh of the overburdened), you head out the door and stuff your hands into your pockets to avoid the chill that has permeated the air since yesterday. Wait…what’s this? Oh, geez, is it an old to do list? The phone number of someone you were supposed to call ages ago? The long-lost receipt for that item you meant to return? Nope. It’s a crisp dollar bill! Huzzah! Add that to the change jingling at the bottom of your purse, and you can treat yourself to a hot and soothing cuppa tea!

Some might ask if this a true Nudge. Does it push me out of my comfort zone, help me to reveal some great Ah-Hah? Probably not. But it definitely qualifies as fun.

What Happened: Just asking for change in singles made me giggle to myself. Does the cashier think I’m heading for a strip club? Ha!

From the moment I pulled this Nudge, I felt the anticipation. It’s funny, because none of this will come to fruition for a long time. In fact, I hope it takes a long time, because that will make the reveal so much more fun for me.

$10 – or rather, ten single $1 bills.

The first went into the pocket of my fanciest coat, one that doesn’t get taken out of the closet very often. (Hmmm…idea for a future Nudge?) The second went into a random page of one of my all-time favorite books, one I know I’ll re-read in a year or two. For half a second I thought about how it would suck if I decide to donate the coat or book before I discover the hidden treasure, but since it’s only a buck, it wouldn’t be a hard loss. And I enjoyed imagining that savvy second-hand shopper as she discovers the bonus inside.

Bill #3 got tucked into the back of a picture frame. And so on. Throughout this week, I let ideas present themselves to me and hid the bills around the house. And each time I felt…giddy.

Giddy. “Dizzy; lighthearted; silly; joyfully elated,” says Merriam-Webster. Yep. All of the above. All week long I felt this in spurts, and I know I will feel giddy again at least 10 more times as I rediscover the bills.

Ah-Hahs: There are so few good surprises left in life. I remember how much fun I had doing Fairy Deeds for others (see this post), so how fun was this to set myself up for 10 future surprises!

Lately I’ve been working on finding my mojo (see this post) and getting through an especially dark Life Funk. There were times I’ve thought about rebooting with a spa day (couple hundred $) or a session with a professional counselor (couple hundred more $). Instead, I spent (but didn’t really spend) just $10 and succeeded in nudging my spirits up for the week.

 

Dear Reader, Whether you’re new to 52Nudges or have been following along for a while, I would appreciate your feedback. Specifically, I’d like to know if there was (1) a previous Nudge you found was impactful for you and (2) a previous Nudge that you’d like to give another go in the future. Send me a note in comments. Thank you!

 

Nudged: Take a long walk

Backstory: This Nudge is about more than just amping up my exercise routine. It’s about getting OUT. It’s about resting my brain. It’s about taking deeper breaths and taking in breathtaking scenery. It’s about moving forward, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

I’m not sure yet whether I’ll use this Nudge to meet up with a friend for a catching-up session, or go on a quiet, meditational walk by myself.

Maybe I’ll do both.

What Happened: I did get out early this morning for a long walk with a dear friend. We caught up for over an hour, with plenty of topics left over for our next walk, which I hope we’ll schedule soon.

But the long walk I want to share in detail from this Nudge was something I did on my own.

I’ve shared recently that I’ve been struggling. I’m having a hard time getting going in the mornings, in part because I am searching for my lost mojo. This week I decided to try to Just Do It by setting a timer and forcing (yes) myself to get out of bed and just get moving.

Wednesday night I set out gear for walking: sturdy shoes, cozy sweatshirt and scarf, water bottle, sunglasses, phone with earbugs. I pretty much rolled out of bed and straight into the clothes and was out the door just after 6:00. Wahoo! My “treat” for doing this was a chunk of time to listen to a great story, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn read by Kate Burton, on audiobook.

I headed up our hill, explored a couple of unfamiliar streets, took in the views, listened to the story. All would have been fabulous if this was it.

But there was more.

I turned a corner and came face-to-face, we’re talking maybe 10 feet apart, with this beautiful creature.

I stopped. It stopped. The best way I can think to describe the encounter was we regarded each other. For several seconds.

Under normal circumstances, this could have been an awful experience. We have a coyote problem in our neighborhood, along the lines of family cats gone missing, dogs snatched right in front of their humans, warnings sent to parents to keep their small children indoors. If Louie (our dog) had been with me, this likely would have been terrifying.

But it was calm. It was…respectful.

I reached into my pocket to get my phone, to take a photo, which the coyote took as a signal to move. Phooey! But then it stood just beside a house and continued to look at me. I took a couple of steps, and it slipped into the garden. Double phooey! I took a couple more steps to peek into the garden and snapped the shot you see above.

The Ah-Hahs: A friend called shortly thereafter and I told her what had happened. “It’s a sign!” she said. “You’re going to have a year of adventures!” Okay then.

Back at home, I continued to think about it, and on a whim I googled “spiritual meaning of a coyote sighting”.

Well!

A coyote is a messenger, I learned, an “important messenger.” A coyote sighting is a reminder to “take a look within, to not take life too seriously, to lighten up, and to learn to laugh at ourselves and even our mistakes”. The coyote comes to encourage us to not just focus on a single problem/burden/concern, but to take in the whole of life.

“Do you feel stuck in a rut?” one site asked me. Uh, yep. Then the coyote came to tell me to stop taking things too seriously, to acknowledge the lighter side of things, and to enjoy life.

All this came to me because I nudged myself to take a long walk.

Wow.

Nudged: Do my “do” (hair) 4x

Backstory: Back in the day (high school), I would allow as much as two hours to wash, blow dry, set in hot rollers, and style my hair.

Sure, right.

That doesn’t happen very often these days, and “forcing” myself to do this will definitely be outside my comfort zone. However. Through some previous Nudges, I’ve realized that when I pull myself together, I feel better, and I carry myself better. I even included this practice as one of the things that might help me get my mojo back.

Let’s “do” this. 😉

What Happened:

Monday: Never so much as brushed my hair.

Tuesday: Threw myself together with kind of a fun and slightly messy bun. I’m no Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, but it worked.

Wednesday: I don’t have time for this sh*t! Geez! I work, I support friends and family, I keep the house standing. And somehow I’m supposed to make time to be runway ready?! I got myself to the gym and showered in the morning, then went straight to work. I had to run a couple of errands, and went out without makeup and hair that looked like it had been styled by Thor (the god who controls lightning, not my husband). I was That Woman in line at the market praying Please don’t let me run into anybody I know. Please. I’m begging. Happy to report my prayers were answered on this one. But geez. I felt like a hot mess, and I wanted to be invisible. That evening my husband had a work event, so at 4:45 I plugged in the trusty flat iron and rallied.

Thursday: Got a free pass today as Second Day Hair looked good with no special effort required. (I love my flat iron). Felt slightly better about myself when I went to the market. That afternoon, I caught up with a friend, another writer who also works from a home office. She mentioned she’s been feeling out of sorts lately, uninspired, unmotivated. So she took a cue from FlyLady (I love FlyLady) and tried dressing for work. Today, for example, instead of staying in yoga clothes all day, she put on nice slacks and an office-worthy cardigan instead of the ratty old thing we pull on when we think “Only the dog is going to see me today.” She brushed her hair, swiped on some mascara and lip gloss, and slipped into actual shoes…and had her most productive day in ages.

Friday: Got up early and gave myself a decent blowout, which made me sweaty. What a pain! Dressed for a business meeting off site—sweater, straight skirt, tights and boots—I checked myself out in the rearview mirror and thought, “Lookin’ good, Kath.” The meeting went well, and I had a productive afternoon. Toward the end of the day, I noticed I wasn’t slumping. I was sitting up straighter than usual for late on a Friday.

A Good(ish) Hair Day

 

Ah-Hah: I must confess, I’ve been in a deep, dark funk lately. There was one day last week when the only thing that got me out of bed was I needed to feed the dog. I’m not sure what this is. Maybe it’s the change in seasons. Maybe it’s the overabundance of rain (dammit) we’ve had this year. (I’m a Southern California, “69 degrees is cold”, I need my sunshine kinda gal). Maybe…I don’t know.

But I’m not throwing in the towel, and I’m returning again and again to my Mojo prompts to get through this. This doing my ’do Nudge is part of my efforts, and it was inspired in part by Elizabeth Gilbert.

In her book about living a creative life, Big Magic, she talks about how you should dress for work the way you would dress if you were going to meet your lover. Think about it. If you were dashing out, all excited and breathless, for a romantic rendezvous, you wouldn’t schlep about in yoga pants and a faded, stretched-out T-shirt. You’d dress in your very best, from the lacy underwear to your fanciest perfume. So, how are you meeting your work? Maybe it’s time to show it some respect, to demonstrate that it is your greatest passion.

I’m going to keep at this. I’m going to continue to do what I can to present myself to the world—or just to the dog—in a way that makes me feel my best. I’m going to do this for my work. Better yet, let’s do this for ourselves!

 

Nudging: Do my “do” (hair) 4x

Backstory: Back in the day (high school), I would allow as much as two hours to wash, blow dry, set in hot rollers, and style my hair.

Sure, right.

That doesn’t happen very often these days, and “forcing” myself to do this will definitely be outside my comfort zone. However. Through some previous Nudges, I’ve realized that when I pull myself together, I feel better, and I carry myself better. I even included this practice as one of the things that might help me get my mojo back.

Let’s “do” this. 😉

Nudged: Learn how to do card-shuffle-fan thing

Backstory: I have always wanted to learn how to do that fabulous trick where it appears you are tossing a desk of cards from one hand to the other in a long stream.

My first stop will be Google, where I hope to determine what it is actually called. (Pretty sure it is not called “card-shuffle-fan thing”. Sheesh.)

Then I am going to peruse tutorial videos on YouTube.

My ultimate goal is to be able to intimidate…eh…impress my friends with whom my husband and I play the card game Hearts every few months. I lost, by quite the margin, at our last session, so I am looking for every advantage.

Our next tournament…eh…friendly game is scheduled for late summer, so I have plenty of time to practice. This week is about doing the research, taking the first steps, and having fun pursuing something that has been on my personal to do list for ages.

What are you going to nudge yourself to try this week?

What Happened: Get ready to be impressed! 😉

First up, I googled for information and learned the trick I wanted to learn is called a “waterfall.” Cool!

Next, I searched for training videos and found this one.

Deck of cards, training video, ounce of courage…I was good to go.

Here is a typical representation of my Day 1 attempts:

Hmmm…I think there’s another name for that “trick”. 52 Pickup, anyone?

On Day 2, I determined my hands were too small to be successful, so I was pleased to discover we had a smaller-sized deck in the games cabinet.

Um…it didn’t completely solve the problems. But every day, for five to 10 minutes, I stood at my desk (figured out that was a good way to catch the falling cards) and practiced.

Slow and steady. Deep breath. Patience, determination, and optimism. Repeat.

Here is the video Thor took of me tonight: card waterfall video

If for some reason you can’t watch it, well, let’s just say The Magic Castle won’t be calling any time soon. But it’s better than where I was just a few days ago!

The Ah-Hahs: Earlier in the week I caught up with a friend who is also revisiting her childhood passions. What did she love doing? What would keep her occupied for hours? And how might she incorporate some of that former joy into her life today?

This Nudge was that for me. I didn’t have any grand revelations about life, I just had some fun. I took a few minutes out of my insanely busy workdays and fed my inner child.

Oh, and I’m not giving up. I still have time to perfect this trick before our next game of Hearts.

P.S. This is interesting. I just inserted the tags for this post and was reminded of my earlier post about wanting to find my Mojo, to find or reclaim my magic. This was not at all what I had in mind for myself at the time, but cool!

Nudged: Wear a different scarf every day

Backstory: This came from two things: (1) my mojo goal of getting dressed every day and (2) my decluttering. I have a lot of scarves. I’m wondering if I really wear or need all of them. So I’m going to go through them this week and see what happens.

What Happened: On Sunday, I wore my one and only red sweater, but I don’t have a scarf with red in it. I have an ivory one, but I wear that all the time. I was feeling the need for coziness, so I put on a SF Giants-themed scarf made from fleece. It was a gift from special people a few Christmases ago, so I thought of them as I put it on and felt wrapped in a hug. Good choice.

On Monday, I decided to mix things up, have a little fun, and add an extra challenge. I reached into my closet and blindly chose a scarf, then had to build an outfit around it. I selected a silk paisley scarf in shades of purple. It was way dressier than my day (in the office, with tasks to do around the house), but okay. Game on! Instead of wearing it with the usual lavender sweater, I pulled out a pale pink. It worked! Instead of pearls, I dug out a pair of bronze-colored earrings. Nice. Hair up, mascara on, and I was ready for the day. I felt good.

Grapped a big pink pashima on Tuesday morning and paired it with a coat that hasn’t received much love lately. The coat is looking a little worn around the cuffs, and almost went into the dumpster…but…you know…with a little ribbon stitched around the edges, maybe I could remake this into something “new”? (Or better yet, maybe the tailor at our drycleaners could do it for me).

Wednesday’s pick was a super soft blue scarf. This one feels like wrapping my neck in a hug. Love this scarf. I’ve had it for…oh, geez, about half my life. It’s going nowhere.

I had to attend an event Thursday and had my outfit all picked out ahead of time in my mind. But with this Nudge, I decided to let Fate take over. I pulled out a scarf that I have mixed feelings about. It’s elegant and beautiful, but it’s not a great color on me. But that’s what I pulled, so that’s what I had to work with. Starting with the skirt I’d chosen for the evening, I selected a different top and shoes. The combination didn’t quite work. The colors were kinda there, but not exactly. Then, on a total whim, I turned the scarf over to its back side. Mind. Blown. Okay, that’s a bit overstated. But I got a whole “new” scarf out of it.

It’s the end of the week and I haven’t given away a single scarf. I’m okay with this. I was intentional about this Nudge and it totally worked for me, even challenged me to try new combinations in my wardrobe. What a fun win!

Some of this week’s scarves, all pretty and organized.

Ah-Hahs: I saved Friday for last. I had a long and busy day, but I had to run to the market. On a normal workday, I would have dashed out of the house in yoga pants, a big fleece jacket, hair in a messy bun, and maybe a dab of lip gloss.

But then I thought back to that great show What Not To Wear and how the hosts always said it takes just as long to dress nice as it does to dress sloppy. So true! Maneuvering into a snug sports bra and cramming my booty into formfitting leggings takes real effort! Instead, I pulled on skirt and sweater, slipped into loafers, and draped a scarf over my shoulders.

You know what, I didn’t just feel “nice”, I felt “chic.” And because I felt chic, I carried and presented myself better. And so I felt better about myself.

It’s the same lesson I reaffirmed when I wore different hats during the week for a Nudge not long ago. (Read that post here.) Really, being nice to ourselves and setting ourselves up for a great day is so simple. Let’s keep it up!

 

Nudging: Wear a different scarf every day

Backstory: This came from two things: (1) my mojo goal of getting dressed every day and (2) my decluttering. I have a lot of scarves. I’m wondering if I really wear or need all of them. So I’m going to go through them this week and see what happens.

P.S. If Thor (code name for my husband) was doing this with me this week, he might go through all the pairs of sports shoes in the guest room closet. (It’s just a suggestion, Love.) For you, maybe this is the week you consider which of those hardcover books you’re actually going to read (and donate the rest) or you pull out all the vases from under the sink (you know they’ve been in there for years) and fill some of them with flowers for surprise deliveries to the neighbors. I hope you’ll share your Nudge of choice with me here.

Nudged: Find my mojo

Backstory: This Nudge didn’t come from the bowl. This is one I dropped in because I’m struggling today. Maybe it’s the post-holidays blues. Maybe it’s the cold and gloominess of the season. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a real affliction, in case you didn’t know. Maybe it’s the ongoing frustration of not having a clear path, a clear purpose.

I’m not sure what’s up (or down) with me right now, but I feel the need to find something to get me up in the mornings. Something other than piles of laundry that need to be addressed or bills that need to be paid. I am dragging through my days, so much so that yesterday, as I lay in bed dreading my day (and it was a Saturday!), I had a small fantasy about pulling everything off the top of my desk and burning it in the fireplace. Yes, I know that wouldn’t really solve any problems—likely make some worse—but the idea of having a clean start is appealing.

Where is my magic? What happened to my mojo? I need to find it and put it back to work.

P.S. I did check in with myself and know it isn’t chronic depression, lack of sleep, or illness causing my malaise. If your blue mood is lasting longer than is okay, please schedule a checkup with your doctor or reach out to someone for help. xo

What Happened: I started by looking up the definition of “mojo”, and this is some of what I found:

“a quality or some ability that brings good luck or helps you be good at something”

“personal confidence and charisma”

“self-confidence, self-assuredness”

“belief in one’s self”

“a good luck charm to bolster confidence”

“the ability to bounce back from a debilitating trauma or negative attitude”

“magical power”

(Sources: Urban Dictionary, Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary)

This helped me clarify that I am not looking for a thing—a charm or amulet—that will provide me with power, I’m looking for actions that will rekindle the magical power I have inside me, a power that seems to have gone temporarily dormant.

Over the week I set aside some quiet time to think about what makes me feel good, makes me feel energized and calm and happy and me. Here are some of the things that came up:

  • pulling myself together (if I dress better, I feel better)
  • knowing there’s money in the bank (catching up and staying current with accounting)
  • clearing space in my office (and subsequently clearing my head)
  • writing personal letters to family and friends (and, as a result, reading their replies)
  • doing something crafty (on my to do list is sewing cheery curtains for the kitchen and pulling out the cross-stitching box)
  • cooking and baking
  • playing with Thor (my darling husband), especially when we do slightly crazy touristy things
  • a tidy house
  • talking walks (for exercise and meditation)
  • get-togethers with friends (especially one-on-one or in small, intimate groups)
  • watching a really great movie
  • getting lost in a really great book

I then took one step, sort of a new year’s thing, but really exactly the Nudge I needed this week: I cracked open a new notebook and started a gratitude journal. I know this to be such a great tool, but haven’t used it for a while. Now is the perfect time to remind myself—with just three items a day—of how much I have to be thankful for, even on those days when it feels like a stretch. A few of the items on this week’s page:

  • cozy new PJs
  • the trusty, hard-working space heater in my office
  • Thor, my funny, affectionate, appreciative, generous life partner
  • good dark chocolate
  • my loyal Louie (the dog)
  • fresh raspberries
  • the fabulous women of my book club
  • this whole crazy 52Nudges adventure

Ah-Hahs: You know what those actions on my list above are, right? Nudges. I wrote a bunch on strips of paper and added them to the bowl. I believe taking these small steps over time will help me find my mojo and continue to nurture it.

P.S. Just before the Christmas, a friend shared a list of “20 Ways to Be Kind (without spending a dime)”, ideas of actions that could be given instead of purchased things. Take a look and see if any of these inspire you for new additions to your Nudges:

  1. send a handwritten note
  2. recreate a special day
  3. listen without distractions
  4. include someone new
  5. smile more
  6. look for common ground
  7. assume the best in everyone
  8. share your prayers (If someone asks for prayer support, respond with a text or note what you said in your actual prayer.)
  9. affirm someone
  10. apologize early and often
  11. be clear (but polite)
  12. be kind to yourself
  13. lend a hand
  14. pay it forward…for free!
  15. offer to babysit
  16. donate used clothing
  17. curb the road rage
  18. give your time
  19. let people know they matter (Learn the name of the guy who makes your coffee, the waiter at your favorite restaurant, the crossing guard.)
  20. share the wisdom you’ve learned

Nudging: Find my mojo

Backstory: This Nudge didn’t come from the bowl. This is one I dropped in because I’m struggling today. Maybe it’s the post-holidays blues. Maybe it’s the cold and gloominess of the season. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a real affliction, in case you didn’t know. Maybe it’s the ongoing frustration of not having a clear path, a clear purpose.

I’m not sure what’s up (or down) with me right now, but I feel the need to find something to get me up in the mornings. Something other than piles of laundry that need to be addressed or bills that need to be paid. I am dragging through my days, so much so that yesterday, as I lay in bed dreading my day (and it was a Saturday!), I had a small fantasy about pulling everything off the top of my desk and burning it in the fireplace. Yes, I know that wouldn’t really solve any problems—likely make some worse—but the idea of having a clean start is appealing.

Where is my magic? What happened to my mojo? I need to find it and put it back to work.

P.S. I did check in with myself and know it isn’t chronic depression, lack of sleep, or illness causing my malaise. If your blue mood is lasting longer than is okay, please schedule a checkup with your doctor or reach out to someone for help. xo