Tag Archives: play

Nudged: Try a new machine/exercise at the gym

Backstory: Upon pulling this week’s Nudge, my first thought was, “Well, that’s dumb. Who came up with this gem?” I mean, really. How life-changing can this really be?

But if there’s one big lesson I’ve learned on this 52Nudge’s journey so far, it’s that even the smallest steps can make a big impact. Maybe, just by wandering to a different section of my gym, I’ll meet someone new. Maybe this person has an interesting story or works in a field that interests me or becomes one of my favorite gym-rat pals. Or maybe instead of the same loop Louie the dog and I walk every week, we try a new path or street or park and discover a garden that takes my breath away. Hmmm…. I’m eager to see what this Nudge reveals.

What Happened: This Nudge was a flat-out dud. No path-altering ah-hah, no “chance” encounter with a spirit guide, no breaking out of a rut and improving life as I’ve known it.

Sure, I tried a new machine. It was one of those things where you sit and pedal like on a stationary bicycle, but with your arms. It was kinda cool. It was sorta different. It was totally boring.

This happened early in the week and I figured I still had time to mine some gold from this week’s Nudge, so I picked up a class schedule on my way out of the gym that morning. Zumba. I’ve been hearing good things about this from friends. It’s supposed to be really fun, and I have been meaning to try it out.

But the classes took place mostly in the middle of my workday, and I know myself better than to try to exercise at dinnertime, and so I didn’t go. Pfft.

Me, when “exercise” meant “playing” and chubby cheeks were considered cute.

The Ah-Ha: Well, if this Nudging thing was BRILLIANT every week, you’d start to suspect I was making stuff up, right? I’m not. I’m real. This is real. Sometimes Life is just what happens.

What’s next on the Nudges list?

P.S. My little bowl of Nudges is in need of replenishment. Have you been doing some of your own? I’d love it if you’d inspire me/us with some of your ideas.

Nudged: Visit a new market (i.e., Whole Foods, specialty)

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Backstory: A few weeks ago my husband and I tried out a sushi restaurant that just opened up in the neighborhood. At the table next to us, a dad ordered a table full of items for his two girls, who looked to be about five and two years old. No one complained or whined or insisted she was no longer eating things that were green (or raw or gooey). The two-year-old gobbled up salmon roe like they were jelly beans. It was amazing to watch—so inspiring! When I was growing up, I wouldn’t touch fish unless it was smothered in breadcrumbs and deep fried. And (and this is a tad embarrassing) I didn’t have my first sushi until I was in my 30s. Even now, I order the same things pretty much every time we go out.

Ruts. If I’m honest with myself, I have too many. I need to shake up my routines and expand my experiences. So for this week’s Nudge, I am going to check out a store that is new to me and wander for inspiration. Maybe I’ll go to a spice shop. Maybe I’ll pop into a bakery that creatively blends traditional flavors with contemporary culinary tricks. Or maybe I’ll just go to the big, beautiful, brand-new Whole Foods that’s nearby and see what’s in season.

What looks intriguing to you this week?

What Happened: My first thought was to visit our local farmers’ market, but it’s only held on Sunday mornings, and we almost always have something else to do at that time (see family or friends, go for a bike ride, sleep in). I also didn’t want to take my chances of putting this Nudge off all week and screwing it up (see Nudged: Wander an expensive store). My second pick was a decades-old produce market neighbors have raved about. Apparently it’s like an every-day farmers’ market, and generations of my friends’ families have made it their go-to shop for local fruits and veggies. Perfect!

But as my darling husband and I discussed the Nudge, he suggested I go way outside my comfort zone. Way, waaaaay outside.

“What about the Chinese market you always walk past?” he asked.

“But I wouldn’t know what anything was.”

“Exactly. You’d have to ask, How do you make this? What’s it good in?”

Hmmm…. Wise man, my guy.

So, while out and about walking errands in our neighborhood, between picking up a prescription at Target and returning books to the library, I paused at the Chinese market. Out front I spotted pineapples and ginger roots in bins. I wasn’t completely lost. Encouraged, I took a deep breath and stepped inside.

It was a little like stepping through a portal to another country. The signs were all written in Chinese, and I recognized very little of the packaged goods. Even the packages that had English translations were baffling. What in the heck is a “three tooth fish”?

Salted Dried Three Tooth Fish

Live frogs–for real

But the fun began with the live stuff. Big tanks with crabs and lobsters and fish, and a trash can-sized barrel of…What is that?…Are they moving?…Holy Toledo, that one just blinked!…live frogs, each about the size of my husband’s fist.

I was so not buying a live frog.

Feeling slightly freaked out, I made my way around to the front of the shop and spotted a bin of something that looked like mini cucumbers. For $1.99/lb., I could risk it. I took my one tiny item to the checkout counter, where the woman at the register greeted me with a long stream of I have no idea what. I smiled like an idiot and mumbled “Thank you,” hoping that was an appropriate response to what she had said to me.

That night I chopped up my mystery item and was relieved to discover it was, in fact, some kind of cucumber. I had planned to take a photo so you could see it, but it was so delicious, we ate it before it hit the plates.

Delicious cucumber things

The Ah-Hahs: I’ve daydreamed about, and my husband and I have even discussed, the possibility of living/working in a foreign country for a period of time, maybe three months, maybe a year. While my job can be done remotely anywhere, his does not translate. Maybe we could do it if we won big in the lottery and didn’t have to work. It could happen.

But probably the biggest hindrance is neither of us in bilingual. I’d like to think we could, with time and effort, learn the basics of a language here and be able to pick up idioms once we established a residency, but geez, it would be hard. Just getting around, learning the customs and courtesies, taking care of things like banking and driving, and, well, finding food, would all be exhausting. I imagine myself repeating my encounter with the woman at this market’s counter, of being overwhelmed by the selection of unfamiliar foods, of having her talk to me in a steady stream of what sounds to me like gibberish, and standing there like an ugly American tourist who has made no effort to even try to be respectful. This could certainly happen outside our borders, because, heck, I just had it happen a few blocks from home.

Still no clue what this is

Or would it be exhilarating? Are we too old and set in our ways to pursue a grand adventure? I’m thinking maybe, which strikes me as a little sad, but also a little realistic. I’m thinking it might be enough to broaden our Bucket List of places we want to visit, then be sure we line up some savvy English-speaking guides. Or maybe we start by asking around about authentic restaurants in town. Certainly we have an abundance of choices in cosmopolitan San Francisco.

Inspired, I did a quick google search for “best ethnic restaurants in San Francisco.” Jackpot! I found this article from two years ago.

Afghanistan, Chile, Iceland. Iceland! Something like 70 countries are represented. The article ends with “Forget packing your bags. The adventures offered at these Bay Area eateries require only a love for food and a willingness to try new things.”

Guess what’s going on my List for future Nudges?

Nudged: Teach Louie (and me) a new trick

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Backstory: I’ve been caught up lately in trying to do all the Nudges “right”, in staying vigilant in my search for “meaning” and “direction”. What’s I’ve forgotten is this is also supposed to be “fun.”

I don’t allow much time in my life for fun. There’s plenty of must dos and shoulds, from client projects to household tasks to the stuff that seems to barely keep my head above water most days. So this week’s Nudge, it’s purely fun.

This Nudge requires the assistance of a willing partner. Here I am with mine, my sweet Louie.

What Happened: Louie is a five-year-old cattle dog–corgi mix, and he’s super smart. Several years ago, he and my husband attended weekly agility course training, where they ran around a gym as Louie navigated obstacles such as crawling through long tubes, weaving through poles, and leaping over jumps. Both of my guys were sidelined with injuries, and I’m sorry to say we’ve fallen into a rut, becoming complacent with the fact that Louie obeys (about 90% of the time) the basic commands—come, sit, stay; lie down, show me your belly.

So this Nudge shook us out of that rut, and the trick I chose to teach him was something I thought would be doable in the time period and something that would be fun to show off to visitors: a fist bump.

Twice each day, Louie and I had our training sessions. With patience and a handful of treats, I worked on getting us both focused, and we practiced until I felt we could perform in front of an audience. My husband was aware of this week’s Nudge, but I told him the actual trick was a surprise, something we’d demonstrate for him at the end of the week.

Here we are, early this morning:

The Ah-Ha: I take my responsibilities as Louie’s dog-mama pretty seriously, but will admit to being a bit lazy the last couple of years. Not only was training him to do a new trick good mental stimulation for him, it forced me to take a complete break from my daily routine.

I forget how utterly entertaining he is, and how eager he is to please. I was strict about rewarding him with treats, so when he didn’t get it right, we started over. But I could see the wheels turning as he tried to figure it out. And when all else failed, he ran through his repertoire of solid tricks, expertly performing sit–shake–lie down–roll over in quick succession, as if one of those would suffice. It made me laugh out loud. But then, the pure joy of seeing the moment it clicked for him, when he made the connection between “Bump!” and tapping his paw on my fist and getting a treat. I swear he beamed with pride.

This exercise took only a few minutes out of my day, but as I headed back to my desk, I was aware that during that time I hadn’t once thought about deadlines, bills, broken fences, or what in the heck I was going to make for dinner. I was fully present with my Louie. So this, too, is a mindfulness practice. And it was FUN!

Nudging: Teach Louie (and me) a new trick

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This Nudge requires the assistance of a willing partner. Here I am with mine, my sweet Louie.

P.S. What do you love to do? What haven’t you done in a while? What made you giggle when you were a kid? Think of something you can do this week that is purely fun, and do it. I hope you’ll share it here, because I could use some new ideas, and we might all be inspired.

Nudged: Memorize a short poem or monologue

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Backstory: I used to have an almost photographic memory, and the funny part is, I didn’t realize this was unusual till I was a teenager. It was a useful gift when I was doing plays and singing with different groups through my 30s. But in recent years, I haven’t used it much. What’s the old saying about our gifts and aging? “Use it or lose it!”

I didn’t have to think too hard about which poem or monologue I wanted to learn. William Shakespeare’s “Sonnet 29” has always been my favorite, and in previous attempts to memorize it, I’ve gotten stuck on that one tricky section: “Wishing me like to one more rich in hope, / Featured like him, like him with friends possessed.” Wishing me like to one… That’s been a brain twister for me in the past, and I have to assume it will still be a twister for my older and flabbier brain.

SONNET 29

When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,

I all alone beweep my outcast state,

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,

And look upon myself and curse my fate,

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,

Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,

Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,

With what I most enjoy contented least;

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,

Haply I think on thee, and then my state,

(Like to the lark at break of day arising

From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven’s gate;

For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings

That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

To keep myself honest, I told my husband what I’d picked and promised to give a live recitation by end of week. Here we go….

What Happened: This was so much fun! I printed the poem out in large font, double-spaced, and taped it to my office door so I’d see it frequently. Every day I focused on a couple of lines, spending more time breaking down the tricky ones (Like to a lark at break of day arising…from sullen earth), then practicing linking them to the lines before and after. I practiced in my car, in bed (silently, in my head), in the shower (out loud and heaping on the dramatic effects), until I felt I could do it perfectly.

Friday night. Dinner ready to be served. My husband looked weary and hungry, but he would have to earn his supper by being my audience. Deep breath…

When in disgrace….

I nailed it!

The Ah-Hah: This was crazy-fun. Plus, as I expected, it felt really good to exercise my brain. I think, too, that it helped to distract me from much of the unpleasantness in our world. Instead of wasting precious time watching depressing news or reading stories on Facebook that made my blood pressure rise, I spent time memorizing something beautiful.

Well done, me! Or as Shakespeare might say*, “Indeed the top of admiration!”

*Okay, he actually did say it. In Act III, Scene 1, Ferdinand says to Miranda: “Admired Miranda! / Indeed the top of admiration, worth / What’s dearest to the world!”

Nudging: Memorize a short poem or monologue

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SONNET 29

When, in disgrace with fortune and men’s eyes,

I all alone beweep my outcast state,

And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,

And look upon myself and curse my fate,

Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,

Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,

Desiring this man’s art and that man’s scope,

With what I most enjoy contented least;

Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,

Haply I think on thee, and then my state,

(Like to the lark at break of day arising

From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven’s gate;

For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings

That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

To keep myself honest, I told my husband what I’d picked and promised to give a live recitation by end of week. Here we go….

P.S. Although I’m still working out the technical kinks, I now have a SUBSCRIBE button on this site. I hope you’ll sign up and join me in each week’s Nudge. And tell your friends! 🙂

Nudged: Do a “Fairy Deed”

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Backstory: This is one of my favorite things to do. Some people call it a “Random Act of Kindness,” and I can’t recall why I started calling it a “Fairy Deed”. Maybe because the idea started out as something that I did under the cover of darkness, while the recipient was sleeping, much like the Tooth Fairy delivers her presents.

I have been doing these deeds for years, sometimes mailing lottery tickets to a selection of friends or delivering a basket of lemons and small bag of sugar to someone I knew was going through a rough time (encouraging her to turn those lemons—especially the figurative ones—into lemonade). Other times I have paid for the coffee or parking fee for the stranger behind me in line, anything that might brighten someone’s day. The deed does not need it be expensive or grand, but the key, for me, is that it must be anonymous. That is what makes it so much fun.

Plus, I think about how much I love a surprise and how infrequently I get them. When was the last time I received a package that I hadn’t ordered myself? When was the last time I got flowers or a gift for no particular reason? When was the last time I was delighted by a random act of kindness? Here’s my chance to do that for someone else.

What Happened: All week long I thought about who I might select as the recipient of my Fairy Deed. Since the key is to be anonymous, I ruled out friends who might see this post and those who know me well enough that they would immediately suspect me.

I also thought about what I might do. Sadly, because we now worry about acts of terrorism, I ruled out sending an unsigned letter or package. I thought of sending a bouquet to a work colleague with a silly note signed “Anonymous”, but worried she might think she’d attracted a stalker. What a sorry world we live in that we have to consider these concerns!

Finally, I decided to focus on an elderly neighbor, Mrs. W., who is housebound. Our lilac tree is in bloom, so I clipped a few branches, wrapped them up, and hoped this small offering might bring her some cheer.

With my heart beating in my chest, I started out the front door, then stopped myself as another neighbor pulled into his driveway. I raised a hand in greeting, then pretended to pick up a newspaper off the porch. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him head up his steps, and I heard his door click shut. Mission back on. Like a thief in the night, I made my way down the street, only to spot a couple I didn’t know heading toward me. Dang it! I hid the flowers behind my back and made an abrupt left into our side yard as if I were, oh, I don’t know, inspecting the progress of the weeds. Geez! Once they’d passed, I looked left-right-left, then dashed across the street. Hoping Mrs. W. wasn’t looking out her front window, I involuntarily crouched down a bit—’cause that wouldn’t make me look suspicious! Like a grown-up Ding-Dong Ditcher, I crept up the steps, gently placed the bouquet on her doorstep, snapped a photo, and sprinted back toward home.

Safely back in my living room, I had to laugh at myself. I felt like a total goof, but a happy one. I peered through my front window to see if I’d missed any witnesses, and was a little disappointed that my view of Mrs. W.’s porch was obstructed. I’m sure one of her caretakers will find the flowers, and I hope they give Mrs. W. even a portion of the pleasure my deed has brought me.

The Ah-Hah: There are all sorts of ways to get a boost of adrenaline. Most are not healthy, but I think this Fairy Deed business is. And it’s legal! The cost, too, was minimal: a sheet of wrapping paper, a bit of twine, flowers from the garden. The joy it gave me, meanwhile, was priceless.

Nudging: Do a “Fairy Deed”

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Nudged: Learn a sentence/phrase in French

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Backstory: Years ago (decade ago?), I learned how to be politely conversational in French: Hello, Good-bye, Thank you, Pardon me, May I have one croissant, please? That got me through my first trip to Paris with some grace. I returned home and enrolled in intensive language classes at a school where the instructors were all native speakers, so in addition to conjugating verbs, I learned correct pronunciations (depending upon my teacher’s home region) and some idioms. I loved it. I loved the intellectual challenges, the exercises, the conversations with my classmates.

I was able to put much of what I learned to good use when my husband and I returned to France for our honeymoon, getting us around unfamiliar villes, finding the salle de bains, ordering excellent vins. Since then, I’ve had good intentions to return to my studies, but funds dedicated to other projects and limited free time caused me to leave this on the to-do list.

This nudge, then, is my effort to rekindle that passion and maybe convince myself that now is the time to register for a brush-up course.

What Happened: I thought about what might be pithy or funny or useful. What do I say most often? Sadly, it’s “What do you want for dinner?” And “Dinner’s ready!” So I picked:

Qu’est-ce que vous voulez pour le dîner?

and

Le dîner est prêt.

After confirming spellings on a couple of online sites, I listened to audio snippets of both. Then I began doing my best Juliette Binoche impressions out loud. It was easy-ish, and fun, although I felt a little bit like an idiot walking around saying these things, practicing my pronunciations. Pretty sure I muttered them out loud while out running errands one morning, but whatever. It’s San Francisco; I fit right in!

What struck me the most was how this was acrobatics for my mouth. It went beyond tongue-twisting, and took far more focused work that my usual “Whadayawan fo dinneh?” Like learning a new piece of music, I broke each sentence down into parts, practiced those individual parts over and over, tweaking each time. Gradually, over the week, I strung together the parts until I could say the whole thing fluidly, without having to think about what I was doing or translating it in my head while I said it.

The Ah-Hah: This nudge was challenging. And it was fun. It reawakened a tiny section of my brain that has been ignored lately. This week’s experience hasn’t quite been enough to get me to pull out my bag of workbooks and brush up, or to sign up for a class, but we’ll see. C’est la vie. (That’s life!)

P.S. The school where I had such wonderful teachers years ago is the Alliance française de Pasadena. If you live near there, check out their website here. If you live elsewhere, they have chapters around the world, which you can learn more about here.

Nudging: Learn a sentence/phrase in French

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I was able to put much of what I learned to good use when my husband and I returned to France for our honeymoon, getting us around unfamiliar villes, finding the salle de bains, ordering excellent vins. Since then, I’ve had good intentions to return to my studies, but low funds and limited free time caused me to leave this on the to-do list.

This nudge, then, is my effort to rekindle that passion and maybe convince myself that now is the time to register for a brush-up course.