Tag Archives: Radical Self-Care

Nudged: Take a Mental Health Day

Leave a reply

Backstory: “Oh, SURE!”

That’s what I all-but-yelled when I drew this Nudge a few minutes ago. “Take a Mental Health Day.” Take a day off in one of my busiest weeks ever.

I could take one of the four passes. But how ironic is that?

I looked back at my notes on why I included this on The List 3.0. Here’s what I wrote:

“I’ve been my own boss for over two decades. Taking a ‘sick day’ pretty much doesn’t happen, and ‘paid sick days’, well…. I even work weekends once in a while. Also, when I scheduled my COVID booster shot last fall, I found myself looking forward to the time I would ‘get’ to take off to recover. How wrong is that?! I need time to rest and recharge.”

Alright. I accept this Nudge and will give it my best effort.

What Happened: As soon as I finished the Nudging post, I started making a to-do list of what I might do with my Mental Health Day. And then I laughed at myself. Time to get off the treadmill!

Because I had an intensely busy week ahead, I knew I had to be intentional about the day. I chose Friday, knowing I could cram everything else on my schedule into Monday through Thursday and then be able to take full advantage of the Nudge–and not be tempted to cheat.

Ironically, I woke up Monday morning feeling under the weather. WTH?! But I had a big client deadline, so that wasn’t happening. And I didn’t want to work through the morning and take just a half day off. I didn’t feel I would reap the full benefits of the Nudge.

On Tuesday, a client Zoom meeting got postponed at the last minute, but since I was already up and dressed (and in full camera-ready hair and makeup), I took that gift of extra time to tackle things due later in the week.

There were a couple of late nights, but I made it. Friday morning I woke up ready to GO!

Wait. Not that. Well, shoot. This was not the day to catch up on laundry, make and freeze a big batch of soup, pick up the drycleaning, or reply to old emails. I shifted gears and asked myself, What would I want to do if I really didn’t feel well and really needed to take a day off?

I lingered in bed with an inspiring book (Almost Everything by Anne Lamott–highly recommend). I took a long soak in a hot bubble bath (with lavender and epsom salts–divine!). I cuddled up on the couch and enjoyed a favorite feel-good movie (Under the Tuscan Sun–“Lots and lots of ladybugs, Kath!”). I spent a little more time than usual with my daily prayers.

By then it was noon (I know), and I discovered I was bored (I KNOW!). What is wrong with me?!

After a light lunch, I took myself out for a walk. Not my usual multitasking get-some-brisk-exercise-while-listening-to-an-audiobook-and-running-errands kind of walk, but a slow, relaxed, take-in-deep-breaths-and-the-scenery walk. As I walked through one part of my neighborhood, I felt “called” to take a detour and go lie on the grass on an island in a small cul-de-sac. But I resisted. If felt weird. It wasn’t my cul-de-sac, and I worried the residents wouldn’t appreciate my presence.

As I looped back toward home, there that island was again. This time, I didn’t resist. I turned left, plopped myself down on the grass, and was treated to this:

I took in the clarity. I felt and breathed in the breeze. I listened to my heart, and it told me to shut up and enjoy the moment.

The Ah-Hahs: It’s now Saturday morning, and I am pleased to report that I feel incredibly calm and rebalanced. Check this off as one very successful Nudging! Though, I think I might change it from a “Mental Health Day” to a “Spiritual Health Day,” because I feel the benefits in mind and body and spirit. Ahhhhhh.

Nudging: Take a Mental Health Day

Leave a reply

Backstory: “Oh, SURE!”

That’s what I all-but-yelled when I drew this Nudge a few minutes ago. “Take a Mental Health Day.” Take a day off in one of my busiest weeks ever.

I could take one of the four passes. But how ironic is that?

I looked back at my notes on why I included this on The List 3.0. Here’s what I wrote:

“I’ve been my own boss for over two decades. Taking a ‘sick day’ pretty much doesn’t happen, and ‘paid sick days’, well…. I even work weekends once in a while. Also, when I scheduled my COVID booster shot last fall, I found myself looking forward to the time I would ‘get’ to take off to recover. How wrong is that?! I need time to rest and recharge.”

Alright. I accept this Nudge and will give it my best effort.

 

Nudged: Ignore the news for 1 full week

1 Reply

Backstory: Pretty straightforward this one. By ignoring the news this week, I hope to lower my blood pressure and maybe focus on more joy in the world. Fingers crossed.

What Happened: Well, this was HARD! I jumped right in, committed to sticking to my plan, but “news” is everywhere. Monday morning it distracted me at the gym. (Just try focusing on anything other than the hanging TV screens in front of you while you’re stuck on the elliptical.) And it feels like everything counts as news. Is it okay to check the weather app? (Not if I end up looking at weather-related stories — like power outages and catastrophic flooding.) Does keeping up with posts on Instagram count? (Yes, but some had to be checked for work.) Dang! I found myself looking for loopholes!

When I got stressed, I wanted to “relax” with a “break.” When I got bored, ditto. When friends forwarded interesting articles, I wanted desperately to stay informed and reply with my opinions; instead, I set them aside to look at next week. When “BREAKING NEWS” arrived in my email inbox, I could have given in and gotten my celebrity fix, but I got better at moving it to trash before getting sucked in.

I stuck with it, acknowledging the tug to “just look for a moment” and then pulling myself away. Altogether, I felt I completed this Nudge successfully and…

The Ah-Hahs: It got easier with each new day. The attraction lost its appeal, especially as I started to register how less stressed I was. This is in big part due to my noticing how much time I waste looking at mostly garbage, how much energy I waste getting worked up over all the triggering messages that come my way. This was a great Nudge for Radical Self-Care.

Will I slide back into old bad habits next week? I hope not. I don’t think so. I really do feel better having had this break from the 24/7 news cycle.

Nudged: Eliminate (or delegate) a big responsibility

Leave a reply

Backstory: I groaned when I read this Nudge, and I almost put it back for my first Pass. This nudge presents at the start of one of the busiest work weeks for me—oh, plus Christmas. Everything on my massive to-do list is a “MUST-DO”, and at a quick glance, everything in there can only be done by me.

Or…?

My intention to practice more Radical Self-Care is behind this Nudge. When I added it to the List, I set the intention that I would be on the lookout for tasks that suck my time and energy, things I overdo or overthink that ultimately aren’t healthy. I’m not going to drop the ball on taking care of my family, meeting all the tight client deadlines, making sure bills get paid on time, and carve out time for exercise and sleep. At this moment, I honestly don’t know what could be eliminated or delegated, but I am accepting this Nudge and trusting something will come to mind.

What Happened: I mulled this one over throughout Sunday and into Monday. I considered putting off the laundry for a day or two, but then I wouldn’t have clean gym clothes, which means I couldn’t go to the gym, which means I can’t do the exercising that is so important to my well-being. (What was that I said about “overthinking” in the Backstory?)

Mid-morning I got an idea. Instead of heading out for a massive grocery shopping, I would try online ordering and delivery. I haven’t had great luck in the past (the time lettuce was “out of stock” and I had to rush out last minute to another store to get what I needed for that night’s dinner party comes to mind—who runs out of lettuce?!), but maybe everything would fall into place this time. I grabbed my list off the fridge, pulled up the website, and got to work. The ordering part went pretty quickly, and I got a reasonable window for delivery. But then, shortly before delivery I got an email that they were out of two items (and I had requested substitutions!). Fortunately, these were not items I needed right away, but this does mean I’ll have to physically go to the market later this week.

Delegating this task did save me some time, so I’ll call this a win.

Ah-Hahs: Did this save me stress? I’m not really sure how I feel about this nudge, so I allowed myself a little extra time to mull it over. Yes, my choice to hand over this responsibility saved me getting fully dressed and taking time to go to the market and load+unload the car. But some days, the only time I get away from my desk and out of the house is when I run errands like this. (Thanks, COVID.) And I typically enjoy shopping for groceries, seeing what’s in season, getting inspired.

I think what I mostly got out of this is my need to re-stretch my nudging muscles and live into the discomfort that comes when I “give things up” to take better care of myself. This is becoming especially important at work. Do I really have to do it all by myself? What can I delegate? Who can I bring on board my “team”? Is it time to hire a VA?

There are things I can delegate. I just have to get a little creative with it.

Anyone else have an interesting experience with this nudge? Please share in Comments.

Am I tired, burned out, or…?

Leave a reply

As I prepared for a minor medical procedure (I’m fine, by the way), I scrambled to get all my work done ahead of time so I could take a couple of days off to recover. I finally had an “excuse” to take a break from my 24/7 schedule (because there’s client work + my work + household and family care), and I found myself looking forward to the downtime—to rest, to watch chick flicks, to read a book purely for my own pleasure.

What is wrong with me?! Why do I have to have something happen that lays me flat, that forces me to be still, to finally take some time for myself?

I’ve been recognizing this pattern a lot lately and acknowledging that I am Burned Out. Then this article came out, and I think there’s more to it.

 

“What is High-Functioning Anxiety?” writer Dominique Michelle Astorino asks. It features:

  • Overthinking
  • People-pleasing
  • Inability to slow down
  • Fear of failure
  • Overplanning
  • Poor boundaries

 

What are the symptoms? They include:

  • Irritability
  • Restlessness
  • Worry
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Feeling depleted

Check check check…. Dangit!

All of this supports and motivates my decision to include some Radical Self-Care in my List of upcoming 52Nudges. In addition to adding some pampering (I can’t even remember the last time I treated myself to nice body lotion), I’ll be adding things like “Reevaluate a long-term friendship” and “Say ‘No’ without giving an explanation”.

I welcome your suggestions. What Radical Self-Care practices have you done that worked for you in the past? What are some acts of self-kindness you would like to do (but have been putting off)? Please share with me—with all of us—in Comments.

Need help putting together your List? Check out the 52Nudges Workbook for exercises, tips, and inspiration. You’ll find everything you need to get ready for the 3.0 launch on December 12.

 

 

downloadable & printable PDF

US $9.95

Wait…we’re starting in December?!

1 Reply

As I thought about when to launch 52Nudges 3.0, I wrestled with all the obstacles: I’m busy with work, my family needs me, as soon as I finish…. And then the Holiday Season snuck up on me. “I’ll just push this into the new year,” I told myself, because then…maybe…I’ll have some time to do something for me.

Sound familiar?

In the meantime, I’ve started brainstorming about my List and noticing that what I want and need is more self-care nudges. I look back on the past two years and realize how many other people’s needs have taken priority over my own. I take care of my husband, dog, clients, neighbors, elderly parents, family members, and friends. Heck, I’m even responsible for keeping all of our houseplants alive! When will it be my turn?

How about now? Right now. I’m going to start this Season of Giving by getting into the habit of giving a little something extra to myself.

My List may include “Take a long, hot bubble bath”, “Treat myself to a mani-pedi”, and “Give myself a home facial”. I’m also going deeper. I’m going for RADICAL SELF-CARE, which may include nudges along the lines of “Eliminate (or delegate) a big responsibility”, “Unpack a worry and craft alternate affirmations for it”, and “Reevaluate a ‘friendship'”.

I’ll pull my first nudge on December 12, and I hope you’ll be joining me.