Tag Archives: travel

52+: Connections–Someone who lives in a different state or country

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During a recent decluttering spree, I uncovered a very old box of onion skin paper. Lightweight and almost transparent, I used this back in the day to send air mail letters. Anyone else remember this stuff?

I tossed the paper, but the impulse to reconnect with friends who live far, far away inspired this nudge. I may look at our holiday card list and choose someone with whom I exchange family photos just once a year. Or maybe I’ll scroll through old posts on social media looking for someone who’s clicked “Like” a lot, but we haven’t so much as shared comments.

In an email (or maybe a letter, because international postage really isn’t that expensive), I might:

  • open with a shared memory, such as how we met or the last time we saw each other in person
  • share a bit about why I love where I live in now and ask about their current home city
  • reminisce about past adventures and include my bucket list of future destinations
  • reflect on how travel—and correspondence—has changed in the last century (Taking and sending photos with my telephone?! This would have blown my grandparents’ minds.)

I hope you enjoy this nudge. Let’s make our world a little bit smaller this week.

52+: On a (sometimes bumpy) journey to a new passion-fueled career

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I am always on the lookout for stories about women who have followed their passions and created new opportunities for themselves. Is there something you love doing that you’d love to turn into a career? Have people told you it’s “impossible” because it’s “not realistic” or “you’re too young/old” or…? Hmmm…. I hope Melissa’s story will inspire you to take a chance on yourself.

After completing an internship in public relations, Melissa Fulton knew she’d never use her BA in Public Communications. After completing an internship at IBM in sales support, she chose tech sales for her career and spent 13 years on that path. When her second daughter was born, she took a leave of absence that “led to another year and another year and another baby and….” Fast-forward to 2017, when she faced an emptying nest and wondered, “What is my next chapter going to be?”

As Melissa explored her options, her husband made an observation. “You’ve always loved travel, and you love organizing everyone’s trips,” he said to her. “You should check that out.” He introduced her to one of his former work colleagues, a woman who had retired from the tech sector and started a travel agency. Melissa made the call, and as soon as she got off the phone, she thought, “I totally want to do this!”

It was another year before she went online to look up “How to be a travel agent.” During that interim, she thought about what she wanted—and what she didn’t. “I wanted to travel more,” she said. “I wanted a flexible schedule to be able to attend our kids’ events. I didn’t want to sit behind a desk 9 to 5.”

She explored joining a network and starting her own business. She spoke with other women who had started travel agencies and took their experiences to heart. “You can be very independent, hang your own shingle,” she said, “but I didn’t want to take on a large investment then realize it wasn’t the right fit for me.” With a franchise, however, the parent company offered training, website hosting, contract negotiating, marketing tools, and a network of helpful colleagues who could offer advice and suggestions. “I liked that structure and support,” she said.

She and her husband bought a franchise, named it Travel By Meli (her friends’ nickname for her), and dove in.

She started with some basic training and quickly realized the work was more complicated than she had anticipated. “It’s a big world out there!” she said. “There’s so much information. I got home and thought, ‘What have I done?’”

As she looks back, she sometimes wishes she could have started off in a more organized fashion, with more training upfront versus learning as she worked. “Instead, I decided I was going to help anybody and everybody,” she said, and with word-of-mouth providing the only advertising she needed, business took off like crazy. She quickly developed a reputation for expertise in planning land-based trips to Europe and river cruises, and often worked till the wee hours of the morning. “At times, it was too much,” she said, but she now sees it was the best way to learn. “It was better than reading or taking a course,” she said. She also found her personal travel experiences gave her an edge, for example, when she planned a trip to Peru for clients. “It’s such a unique experience,” she said, and it helped that she had taken a similar trip with her family and could advise her clients on what to expect and what they would need.

Melissa in Santorini, Greece, one of her favorite places.

Then, in early March of this year, COVID hit. “I became busier cancelling than I’d ever been booking,” she said. At one point she thought she might throw in the towel and go back to the corporate world, but was emboldened by the outstanding service she received from the “wonderful” suppliers who were handling the changes. Then…people started booking and rebooking again. “By mid-July, people were more optimistic and were just so tired of being home,” she said. “I heard, ‘We need something to look forward to!’ They started booking trips into 2022, and I thought, ‘Oh, I love this!’” She remains “definitely hopeful” and trusts that “the world will be okay again some day”.

When asked what advice she would offer to someone who is trying to figure out her next chapter, she thought about her response for a few moments before speaking. “‘What makes you excited?’ is the hardest question for anyone to answer,” she said. “I’m going through this right now with my daughter. Do you work for money or to be fulfilled? Do you volunteer [to feed your passion]? I don’t know.” She confessed she struggled initially to find her own way, in part, she said, because she sometimes felt like she had lost who she was while she was so busy caring for her growing family.

Based on her own journey, she offered some suggestions. “Get together with friends and chat. Ask them ‘What do you think I’m good at?’ and listen to their answers.” She also encourages women to trust themselves and their abilities. “It doesn’t matter how old you are or if you haven’t worked in years,” she said. “You have interests, your experience, and your work ethic.” Use them.

Authenticity plus optimism is paramount. “Don’t ignore the things you like to do, your passions, and think you can’t do anything with them,” she said. “Don’t sell yourself short.”

Nudged: Make a list of cities I want to visit, pick 1 to explore

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Backstory: Back in my single gal days, for years I dreamed about going to Italy. Every time the new Backroads‘ catalogue arrived in the mail, I ripped out the pages describing the walking tour of Tuscany and pinned it to my wall. One day I decided I had wasted too much time dreaming and was ready to do something to make it happen. Almost a full year in advance, I booked the tour and put down a sizeable deposit. Then every spare dollar went into a savings account so, by the time I boarded the plane, everything was covered.

This nudge is in part inspired by the success of that planning and adventuring. Today I can’t kid myself about swinging a big deposit (if you can–go for it!), but I can start visualizing my next trip and motivating myself to make it happen.

Once I’ve made my short list of cities, I might go to the library and pick up history and cook books. I might check out cultural music online. I might add a language app to my phone and start practicing the words and phrases I’ll need to be a respectful traveler (please…excuse me…thank you). Or maybe I’ll put together a list of movies set in that city and begin “seeing” myself there.

What I know for sure is I’ve been bitten by the travel bug and I’m starting to itch. I’m looking forward to exploring where I might go.

What Happened: I started by looking up the “best cities in Portugal to visit” and discovered Lisbon, called the “postcard-picture capital”. OMG, gorgeous! A “sea power”, Portugal is known for its temperate climate, beautiful beaches, fishing industry, and port and madeira wines. Sign me up!

But first I needed to look into Buenos Aires, Argentina. Friends who have visited describe it as the “Paris of South America”, featuring spectacular architecture, delicious foods, and world-class culture. I researched online and discovered it is home to a diverse immigrant population with a multitude of languages and has the largest Jewish population in Latin America. This “sexy” city hosts more than 300 plays every weekend and all sorts of cultural and music festivals (the International Jazz Festival that includes dance classes caught my eye). It also has so many libraries and bookstores (734 bookstores, “more per person than any other city in the world”), it is called the “City of Books”. Sounds like my kind of town!

Buenos Aires is also known for it’s beautiful gardens, including its Japanese Garden, which…wait…. Oh, wow….

The Ah-Hahs: For those of you who have been following 52Nudges for a while, you may recall my trip to Portland, Oregon, a little over a year ago. While there, at the recommendations of friends and family, my husband and I explored the fabulous Japanese Gardens. We were blown away by it. Then at one point we looked at each other and asked, “Don’t we have one of these at home?” Yes. Yes we do, just 15 minutes from our house. (Read the Nudged post here.)

I still have not been there.

So I kind of kicked myself as I worked through and processed this week’s nudge. Right here, right now, I have access to great architecture, world-class museums, food from just about every culture, language schools, cafés set up for sipping while people-watching, gardens and paths for walking, and just about everything else I’m hoping to find through travels beyond my own city’s borders. Why is it that I feel the need to search for things I already have here?

Postcard by RetroMail available on Zazzle.com

And then…and here’s where things get goosebumpy…

Why is it I feel the need to search for things outside of myself when maybe, just maybe, everything I need to feel fulfilled is already within me?

Why do I feel the need to do more, do differently, try, achieve? What if…what if for a while I am just still and allow myself to be fully me?

Like with every nudge, I never know where it’s going to take me. This one really surprised me, and I’m grateful for it. Maybe this was the ultimate nudge I’ve needed all along.

I’m still processing this, and don’t know how it will play out. I’m calm and excited at the same time.

Meanwhile, if this week’s nudge led you to plan the Trip of a Lifetime, I hope you’ll send me a postcard. 🙂

 

 

Nudging: Make a list of cities I want to visit, pick 1 to explore

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Backstory: Back in my single gal days, for years I dreamed about going to Italy. Every time the new Backroads‘ catalogue arrived in the mail, I ripped out the pages describing the walking tour of Tuscany and pinned it to my wall. One day I decided I had wasted too much time dreaming and was ready to do something to make it happen. Almost a full year in advance, I booked the tour and put down a sizeable deposit. Then every spare dollar went into a savings account so, by the time I boarded the plane, everything was covered.

This nudge is in part inspired by the success of that planning and adventuring. Today I can’t kid myself about swinging a big deposit (if you can, go for it!), but I can start visualizing my next trip and motivating myself to make it happen.

Once I’ve made my short list of cities, I might go to the library and pick up history and cook books. I might check out cultural music online. I might add a language app to my phone and start practicing the words and phrases I’ll need to be a respectful traveler (please…excuse me…thank you). Or maybe I’ll put together a list of movies set in that city and begin “seeing” myself there.

What I know for sure is I’ve been bitten by the travel bug and I’m starting to itch. I’m looking forward to exploring where I might go.

Re-Nudging: Visit a new market

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I’m on vacation–a real, fully unplugged vacation! While I’m out, I’m re-running a couple of favorite Nudges. You might try them again for yourself, read them simply for entertainment, or use them as inspiration to try one of your own new Nudges this week. When I get back, keep an eye on this space for news about a rebooting of 52Nudges in the fall. I’d love to have you join me. And if you haven’t already, sign up to receive the posts in your inbox. Subscribing is FREE. Cheers! — Kathleen

Backstory: A few weeks ago my husband and I tried out a sushi restaurant that just opened up in the neighborhood. At the table next to us, a dad ordered a table full of items for his two girls, who looked to be about five and two years old. No one complained or whined or insisted she was no longer eating things that were green (or raw or gooey). The two-year-old gobbled up salmon roe like they were jelly beans. It was amazing to watch—so inspiring! When I was growing up, I wouldn’t touch fish unless it was smothered in breadcrumbs and deep fried. And (and this is a tad embarrassing) I didn’t have my first sushi until I was in my 30s. Even now, I order the same things pretty much every time we go out.

Ruts. If I’m honest with myself, I have too many. I need to shake up my routines and expand my experiences. So for this week’s Nudge, I am going to check out a store that is new to me and wander for inspiration. Maybe I’ll go to a spice shop. Maybe I’ll pop into a bakery that creatively blends traditional flavors with contemporary culinary tricks. Or maybe I’ll just go to the big, beautiful, brand-new Whole Foods that’s nearby and see what’s in season.

What looks intriguing to you this week?

What Happened: My first thought was to visit our local farmers’ market, but it’s only held on Sunday mornings, and we almost always have something else to do at that time (see family or friends, go for a bike ride, sleep in). I also didn’t want to take my chances of putting this Nudge off all week and screwing it up (see Nudged: Wander an expensive store). My second pick was a decades-old produce market neighbors have raved about. Apparently it’s like an every-day farmers’ market, and generations of my friends’ families have made it their go-to shop for local fruits and veggies. Perfect!

But as my darling husband and I discussed the Nudge, he suggested I go way outside my comfort zone. Way, waaaaay outside.

“What about the Chinese market you always walk past?” he asked.

“But I wouldn’t know what anything was.”

“Exactly. You’d have to ask, How do you make this? What’s it good in?”

Hmmm…. Wise man, my guy.

So, while out and about walking errands in our neighborhood, between picking up a prescription at Target and returning books to the library, I paused at the Chinese market. Out front I spotted pineapples and ginger roots in bins. I wasn’t completely lost. Encouraged, I took a deep breath and stepped inside.

It was a little like stepping through a portal to another country. The signs were all written in Chinese, and I recognized very little of the packaged goods. Even the packages that had English translations were baffling. What in the heck is a “three tooth fish”?

Salted Dried Three Tooth Fish

Live frogs–for real

But the fun began with the live stuff. Big tanks with crabs and lobsters and fish, and a trash can-sized barrel of…What is that?…Are they moving?…Holy Toledo, that one just blinked!…live frogs, each about the size of my husband’s fist.

I was so not buying a live frog.

Feeling slightly freaked out, I made my way around to the front of the shop and spotted a bin of something that looked like mini cucumbers. For $1.99/lb., I could risk it. I took my one tiny item to the checkout counter, where the woman at the register greeted me with a long stream of I have no idea what. I smiled like an idiot and mumbled “Thank you,” hoping that was an appropriate response to what she had said to me.

That night I chopped up my mystery item and was relieved to discover it was, in fact, some kind of cucumber. I had planned to take a photo so you could see it, but it was so delicious, we ate it before it hit the plates.

Delicious cucumber things

The Ah-Hahs: I’ve daydreamed about, and my husband and I have even discussed, the possibility of living/working in a foreign country for a period of time, maybe three months, maybe a year. While my job can be done remotely anywhere, his does not translate. Maybe we could do it if we won big in the lottery and didn’t have to work. It could happen.

But probably the biggest hindrance is neither of us in bilingual. I’d like to think we could, with time and effort, learn the basics of a language here and be able to pick up idioms once we established a residency, but geez, it would be hard. Just getting around, learning the customs and courtesies, taking care of things like banking and driving, and, well, finding food, would all be exhausting. I imagine myself repeating my encounter with the woman at this market’s counter, of being overwhelmed by the selection of unfamiliar foods, of having her talk to me in a steady stream of what sounds to me like gibberish, and standing there like an ugly American tourist who has made no effort to even try to be respectful. This could certainly happen outside our borders, because, heck, I just had it happen a few blocks from home.

Still no clue what this is

Or would it be exhilarating? Are we too old and set in our ways to pursue a grand adventure? I’m thinking maybe, which strikes me as a little sad, but also a little realistic. I’m thinking it might be enough to broaden our Bucket List of places we want to visit, then be sure we line up some savvy English-speaking guides. Or maybe we start by asking around about authentic restaurants in town. Certainly we have an abundance of choices in cosmopolitan San Francisco.

Inspired, I did a quick google search for “best ethnic restaurants in San Francisco.” Jackpot! I found this article from two years ago.

Afghanistan, Chile, Iceland. Iceland! Something like 70 countries are represented. The article ends with “Forget packing your bags. The adventures offered at these Bay Area eateries require only a love for food and a willingness to try new things.”

Guess what’s going on my List for future Nudges?

Nudging: Learn a sentence/phrase in Italian

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Backstory: Omg, there are no coincidences! I laughed out loud when I drew this Nudge, because in just a few days I will be in Italy!

The original idea for the Nudge, however, was wholly impractical. Like when I learned a new sentence/phrase in French (see the Nudge here), the intention was to challenge my brain and have some fun. That the timing sets me up for actually using the phrase is happy-stance. (Happenstance means coincidence, and translations to Italian include caso, coincidenza, and combinazione. I’m thinking I won’t be using any of these in my sentence for this Nudge, but good to know.)

And mentioning my upcoming vacation, this seems like a good time to let you know I’ll be taking a break from Nudging for the next several weeks. I’m going to just BE. No challenges, no tasks. In the meantime, I’m going to run some classic 52Nudges posts, which you may choose to nudge yourself in my absence.

Do keep an eye on this space, as I’m planning to reboot the whole 52Nudges experiment, and I’d love to have you join me.

Nudged: Visit a new market (i.e., Whole Foods, specialty)

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Backstory: A few weeks ago my husband and I tried out a sushi restaurant that just opened up in the neighborhood. At the table next to us, a dad ordered a table full of items for his two girls, who looked to be about five and two years old. No one complained or whined or insisted she was no longer eating things that were green (or raw or gooey). The two-year-old gobbled up salmon roe like they were jelly beans. It was amazing to watch—so inspiring! When I was growing up, I wouldn’t touch fish unless it was smothered in breadcrumbs and deep fried. And (and this is a tad embarrassing) I didn’t have my first sushi until I was in my 30s. Even now, I order the same things pretty much every time we go out.

Ruts. If I’m honest with myself, I have too many. I need to shake up my routines and expand my experiences. So for this week’s Nudge, I am going to check out a store that is new to me and wander for inspiration. Maybe I’ll go to a spice shop. Maybe I’ll pop into a bakery that creatively blends traditional flavors with contemporary culinary tricks. Or maybe I’ll just go to the big, beautiful, brand-new Whole Foods that’s nearby and see what’s in season.

What looks intriguing to you this week?

What Happened: My first thought was to visit our local farmers’ market, but it’s only held on Sunday mornings, and we almost always have something else to do at that time (see family or friends, go for a bike ride, sleep in). I also didn’t want to take my chances of putting this Nudge off all week and screwing it up (see Nudged: Wander an expensive store). My second pick was a decades-old produce market neighbors have raved about. Apparently it’s like an every-day farmers’ market, and generations of my friends’ families have made it their go-to shop for local fruits and veggies. Perfect!

But as my darling husband and I discussed the Nudge, he suggested I go way outside my comfort zone. Way, waaaaay outside.

“What about the Chinese market you always walk past?” he asked.

“But I wouldn’t know what anything was.”

“Exactly. You’d have to ask, How do you make this? What’s it good in?”

Hmmm…. Wise man, my guy.

So, while out and about walking errands in our neighborhood, between picking up a prescription at Target and returning books to the library, I paused at the Chinese market. Out front I spotted pineapples and ginger roots in bins. I wasn’t completely lost. Encouraged, I took a deep breath and stepped inside.

It was a little like stepping through a portal to another country. The signs were all written in Chinese, and I recognized very little of the packaged goods. Even the packages that had English translations were baffling. What in the heck is a “three tooth fish”?

Salted Dried Three Tooth Fish

Live frogs–for real

But the fun began with the live stuff. Big tanks with crabs and lobsters and fish, and a trash can-sized barrel of…What is that?…Are they moving?…Holy Toledo, that one just blinked!…live frogs, each about the size of my husband’s fist.

I was so not buying a live frog.

Feeling slightly freaked out, I made my way around to the front of the shop and spotted a bin of something that looked like mini cucumbers. For $1.99/lb., I could risk it. I took my one tiny item to the checkout counter, where the woman at the register greeted me with a long stream of I have no idea what. I smiled like an idiot and mumbled “Thank you,” hoping that was an appropriate response to what she had said to me.

That night I chopped up my mystery item and was relieved to discover it was, in fact, some kind of cucumber. I had planned to take a photo so you could see it, but it was so delicious, we ate it before it hit the plates.

Delicious cucumber things

The Ah-Hahs: I’ve daydreamed about, and my husband and I have even discussed, the possibility of living/working in a foreign country for a period of time, maybe three months, maybe a year. While my job can be done remotely anywhere, his does not translate. Maybe we could do it if we won big in the lottery and didn’t have to work. It could happen.

But probably the biggest hindrance is neither of us in bilingual. I’d like to think we could, with time and effort, learn the basics of a language here and be able to pick up idioms once we established a residency, but geez, it would be hard. Just getting around, learning the customs and courtesies, taking care of things like banking and driving, and, well, finding food, would all be exhausting. I imagine myself repeating my encounter with the woman at this market’s counter, of being overwhelmed by the selection of unfamiliar foods, of having her talk to me in a steady stream of what sounds to me like gibberish, and standing there like an ugly American tourist who has made no effort to even try to be respectful. This could certainly happen outside our borders, because, heck, I just had it happen a few blocks from home.

Still no clue what this is

Or would it be exhilarating? Are we too old and set in our ways to pursue a grand adventure? I’m thinking maybe, which strikes me as a little sad, but also a little realistic. I’m thinking it might be enough to broaden our Bucket List of places we want to visit, then be sure we line up some savvy English-speaking guides. Or maybe we start by asking around about authentic restaurants in town. Certainly we have an abundance of choices in cosmopolitan San Francisco.

Inspired, I did a quick google search for “best ethnic restaurants in San Francisco.” Jackpot! I found this article from two years ago.

Afghanistan, Chile, Iceland. Iceland! Something like 70 countries are represented. The article ends with “Forget packing your bags. The adventures offered at these Bay Area eateries require only a love for food and a willingness to try new things.”

Guess what’s going on my List for future Nudges?