Category Archives: mind/body/spirit

Nudging: Go to coffeehouse with educational book; learn something new

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Backstory: The full title of this Nudge is “Go to a coffeehouse with an educational book and learn something new.” I’m laughing as I type this. It made for a looong strip of paper for my Nudges jar. But I knew when I included it on The List, I wanted it to be more than simply “Learn something new.”

The inspiration for this Nudge came from a client project I worked on early in the year. It involved a topic–an industry, really–I knew nothing about. I requested a couple of suggestions for books from the client and immersed myself in study. For a couple of intense days, I read, took notes, thought deeply, and then applied what I’d learned to the work.

It was…fun.

I’m looking forward to challenging my brain this week. This is also an excuse to get out of my office, and away from the distractions, so that I can again practice focusing on just one topic at a time.

 

Nudging: Say “yes” to something new

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Backstory: When I was putting together The List, I almost pulled this nudge off. It feels kinda vague. But on final review, I kept it because it forces me to be in the moment, to be open to whatever may come.

Will I be invited to a social event that feels outside my comfort (or fashion) zone? Will I see an opening in a class that’s just a little outside my (financial or intellectual) reach? Will I get an opportunity to experiment on something that’s always looked like fun but had me doubting my ability to even try?

We’ll find out! 🙂

Have fun with this! If you need inspiration, check out Shonda Rhimes’ book Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand in the Sun and Be Your Own Person.

Nudged: Use the good body lotion

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Backstory: It’s the expensive stuff, or the special stuff, or the stuff I received as a gift and am saving for…well, I don’t know what.

Although part of this nudge is about decluttering, I think it’s mostly about self-caring. If not with the good body lotion, maybe it’s the soothing bath bubbles or the beautifully scented candle. Or maybe it’s that fancy hand creme that’s been living at the bottom of my purse for ages. I’m going to pull out something nice and put it to use.

How will you treat yourself this week?

What Happened: Like so many other “small” and “simple” Nudges, this turned into something more. I love when that happens. 🙂

Turns out I don’t have a lot of good stuff still lurking in the cupboards. Which is kind of a good thing (because I’ve used them) and kind of not (because that means I’m haven’t been replenishing the stores and treating myself as well as I should). So it was an easy choice to pick up this lovely lavender hand & body lotion–just $4.99+tax at Trader Joe’s–while doing my start-of-the-week grocery shopping:

What happened next came as a sweet surprise. In the mornings throughout the week, I didn’t just go through the motions of pulling myself together for the day. I actually took a little time and dedicated some awareness as I rubbed the lotion on my body and gave thanks for each part:

  • To my hands, thank you for making it possible for me to express myself through writing.
  • To my arms, thank you for how you embrace and care for so many people.
  • To my belly, my core, thank you for keeping me strong.
  • To my legs, thank you for propelling me forward.
  • To my feet, thank you for holding me up through all of life’s joys and challenges.

The Ah-Hahs: These blessings, which added less than a minute to my morning routine, felt quite profound. All this week, I noticed things I’ve taken for granted, and I stopped to breathe and give thanks.

 

Nudging: Use the good body lotion

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Backstory: It’s the expensive stuff, or the special stuff, or the stuff I received as a gift and am saving for…well, I don’t know what.

Although part of this nudge is about decluttering, I think it’s mostly about self-caring. If not with the good body lotion, maybe it’s the soothing bath bubbles or the beautifully scented candle. Or maybe it’s that fancy hand creme that’s been living at the bottom of my purse for ages. I’m going to pull out something nice and put it to use.

How will you treat yourself this week?

Nudged: Do something that scares me

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Backstory: I love this nudge. It can present in so many ways.

Maybe this is the week I wrap up something I really need to do, but dread doing (updating our estate planning paperwork, or catch up on my accounting and seeing just how much I have/don’t have in savings). Maybe this is the week I take a BIG but exciting RISK (ask for a raise, or call a company I would love to work with and ask if they’re hiring). Or maybe I get creative and literal and watch a super-scary classic movie (Exorcist, The Shining)…in the dark! 😉

I hope you’ll share with me what you end up doing with this nudge.

P.S. This week we’re celebrating Thanksgiving in the U.S. I want to take this opportunity to thank YOU for supporting me and my 52Nudges journey. Wishing you a safe and happy holiday!

What Happened: As I considered what I might do for this nudge, I did a bit of accounting of some of what I’ve been through in the past couple of months, including:

  • Ending a contract with a long-time and much-loved client. (It was time.)
  • “Firing” a bully from a social group. (It was waaay past time.)
  • Recovering from an accident. (I’m fine-ish, though the physical healing takes time and PTSD is no joke.)

All of the above were scary in their own way, and I’m proud of myself for how I faced and handled them. Maybe for this nudge I can give myself a pass?

Then, midweek, amid all the buildup of the stress for the events above + work deadlines + holidays + general stress, I received an urgent notice about a utility bill being past due. What?!? I checked my records and noted I’d paid this bill in person well before the due date. I dropped everything else I was doing, called the company, waited on hold for-what-felt-like-ever, then spoke with a very calm person who informed me they had no record of the payment. I was able to pull together the funds and cover the late and current payments, so it got handled. But by the time I got off the phone, I was drained.

“I’m done,” I thought to myself. “I have no fight left in me.”

I have nothing left to give, no extra energy to devote to worries, no strength to carry on stressing over the many challenges that are truly out of my control. So I did the thing that scares me the most: I gave it all up.

A little more specifically, I handed it all over to God. (Feel free to substitute Universe or Nature or whatever term is most comfortable for you.) “You take care of it,” I said out loud. “Thanks.”

The Ah-Hahs: When I lived and commuted in Los Angeles (90 minutes to travel 14 miles, each way), I learned that there’s no point getting stressed when you’re stuck in traffic. You’re not going anywhere. There’s no alternate route that’s going to get you to your destination any faster. So, sure, you could drive your blood pressure up, launch an ulcer, beat your fists on the steering wheel, rage at the unfairness of it all. Still won’t get you there. So, you call the person you’re meeting to tell them you’re running late, and you wait it out.

I see a life lesson in this, and it’s one I’m working on applying to other areas: Don’t stress over things you can’t control.

It’s hard for me, it’s a little scary, but, with some practice, I believe I will be a happier human.

 

 

Nudging: Do something that scares me

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Backstory: I love this nudge. It can present in so many ways.

Maybe this is the week I wrap up something I really need to do, but dread doing (updating our estate planning paperwork, or catch up on my accounting and seeing just how much I have/don’t have in savings). Maybe this is the week I take a BIG but exciting RISK (ask for a raise, or call a company I would love to work with and ask if they’re hiring). Or maybe I get creative and literal and watch a super-scary classic movie (Exorcist, The Shining)…in the dark! 😉

I hope you’ll share with me what you end up doing with this nudge.

P.S. This week we’re celebrating Thanksgiving in the U.S. I want to take this opportunity to thank YOU for supporting me and my 52Nudges journey. Wishing you a safe and happy holiday!

 

 

Nudged: Learn how to sign a fun phrase in American Sign Language

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Backstory: The seed for learning American Sign Language (ASL) was first planted with earlier nudges, learning fun phrases in French (“What do you want for dinner?”) and Italian (“I would like a glass of prosecco, please.”). Those nudges were both really fun, and they challenged my brain in new ways.

This nudge goes a bit deeper. It was also inspired by a barista in a coffee house and a Lyft driver I met on separate occasions last year, both of whom were hearing impaired. I was struck by the realization of the effort I make to be polite and respectful when I visit foreign countries, but here, with my own people, I’ve only managed “Hello” and “Thank you.”

I’d like to do better.

What Happened: My initial Google search presented me with a wealth of learning tools. I started with a four-minute video created by Signed With Heart, “25 Basic ASL Signs for Beginners”.

  • Yes
  • No
  • Please
  • Nice to meet you

Mastering these was enough to ignite my curiosity and send me down the rabbit hole of online research. From Wikipedia, I learned ASP was created in the early 1800s at the American School for the Deaf in Connecticut, but has origins in French sign language. I discovered British sign language is not directly translatable to the American version, and there are even dialects. And did you know many American colleges now accept ASL study for foreign language credits? Cool!

With renewed motivation, I moved to a fingerspelling chart and worked on learning the alphabet.

© William Vicars, sign language resources at Lifeprint.com.

Then I put everything together and practiced.

Hello

My name is

K-A-T-H-L-E-E-N

I squealed with delight the first time I signed it fluidly.

Oh, and P.S.:

“I love you.”

 

Ah-Hahs: Maybe I’ll learn sign language and become a teacher—or one of those cool signers at live concerts! I entertained that dream for just a few minutes, because when I looked closer, I had to acknowledge: ASL is hard! It’s complex, there are lots of variations, and the grammar rules differ from written and spoken English.

I ran this by Thor, my darling husband, after I demonstrated my new skills, and his immediate response was, “No, you need to get back to learning French.” He’s right. That’s where I had an affinity and where I have a passion. As much as I enjoyed this small experiment with ASL, I truly love learning French. So I made a note in my journal to explore my options for future French lessons.

But I’m glad I took time to learn some of the basics, and I hope I’ll have an opportunity to use them.

Meanwhile, there was one more gift that came out of this nudge. For some reason, I read the quotes under the video. I almost never read comments, because so many we see today are ugly, hateful, unnecessary. The ones I read on Signed With Heart’s forum, from people sharing why they want to learn ASL, are lovely. “There’s a new girl in our school…I have a crush on a boy who is deaf…I want to communicate with my newly adopted brother….” I was a puddle reading all the heartwarming messages.

So in addition to gaining a couple of small skills, I gained a renewed hope in humankindness.

If this has inspired you to learn more ASL, there is a wealth of resources available on Amazon. I found books, flashcards, games, and DVDs, and most are quite reasonably priced. Here are a few you might find helpful:

Sign Language Conversations for Beginning Signers by Stan Collins (paperback)

Barron’s 500 Flash Cards of American Sign Language by Geoffrey S. Poor

American Sign Language Made Easy (Amazon Prime video)

Nudging: Learn how to sign a fun phrase in American Sign Language

1 Reply

Backstory: The seed for learning American Sign Language (ASL) was first planted with earlier nudges, learning fun phrases in French (“What do you want for dinner?”) and Italian (“I would like a glass of prosecco, please.”). Those nudges were both really fun, and they challenged my brain in new ways.

This nudge goes a bit deeper. It was also inspired by a barista in a coffee house and a Lyft driver I met on separate occasions last year, both of whom were hearing impaired. I was struck by the realization of the effort I make to be polite and respectful when I visit foreign countries, but here, with my own people, I’ve only managed “Hello” and “Thank you.”

I’d like to do better.

Nudged: Limit my mobile phone time

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Backstory: I feel like I just did this Nudge. Oh, wait! That was cutting back on social media. Same thing? Sort of. For me I think this one is about focus, about not letting the phone distract me from the things I want to do. So the plan is to designate times when I can check and return messages, rather than being at its mercy 24/7.

What Happened: I started the work week with the intention of only checking voicemail and text messages, and returning any messages, at the beginning of my day (8 am), when I broke for lunch (noonish), and when I wrapped up the day and closed up my office (6…7ish). The big surprise? I didn’t need to do this.

I’m not tied to my phone. I don’t play games on it. I don’t check emails or newsflashes or how my latest post on Facebook is being received. I keep it with me during the day in case a client needs to reach me, but this week there weren’t any urgent calls; we communicated through emails and scheduled times for future chats. I also don’t take it with me to meals, and it stays in my office when I go to bed, so those distractions don’t apply.

The Ah-Hahs: As I reflected on this week’s Nudge, I wondered how it made it onto my List. I think…I think I just got caught up in the hype. There are so many articles and opinion pieces circulating in the world today about how we’re not really connecting, how we’re having closer relationships with our gadgets than with our friends and family members. I suppose I wanted to make sure that wasn’t happening with me.

It’s not.

In fact, as I paid attention to how I use my phone this week, I noticed how it allows me to do quick “Thinking of you!” check-ins with very busy people in my life. With different apps, I can reach friends across all time zones with no worries about long-distance charges. It also enables me to keep in touch with dear ones of very different generations: I call the Boomers, I FaceTime with Millennials. I’m grateful for all of this.

So, while at first I thought this Nudge was a “dud” for me, I’m actually considering it a “win”. Yay, me!

Nudging: Limit my mobile phone time

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Backstory: I feel like I just did this Nudge. Oh, wait! That was cutting back on social media. Same thing? Sort of. For me I think this one is about focus, about not letting the phone distract me from the things I want to do. So the plan is to designate times when I can check and return messages, rather than being at its mercy 24/7.