Category Archives: Nudge

Nudging: Listen to two old CDs

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Backstory: Because I work from an office in our home and do little driving, the same six CDs have been in my car for…two years? Longer? Sheesh, that’s embarrassing. And pretty much the only time I listen to music at home is while I’m prepping and cooking dinner. You’d think I could change up my playlist periodically, but my reality (some might call it my “rut”) is that the soundtrack to Hamilton! is on constant rotation. Not a bad choice, but the neighbors are probably sick of hearing me bellow out “Here comes the General—RISE UP!” at 7:34 pm every single night. (“An-ge-li-caaa…Ee-liii-za…AND PEGGY!”)

I don’t know what I thought I’d learn from this Nudge. I suppose it’s another step in the clearing out process to re-evaluate treasures and determine whether they are to be saved, tossed, or shared. Or maybe I just need to remember the pleasures of listening to really great music more often.

Nudging: Move something (i.e., a piece of furniture)

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Backstory: This one is easy. For the past several years, my desk has faced a wall that displays an outline made up of sticky notes for a book that I’m on track to finish this fall. I’ve stared at this wall, gained inspiration from it, been frustrated by it. As this Big Project comes to a close, I’m ready to change my perspective. I’m thinking I’ll turn the desk 45 degrees so that it will now face the window and look out onto our backyard. This will be the first small step toward the larger project of (finally) redecorating this room with paint, curtains, and a rug in warm colors. I’m excited to do this.

Nudging: Be early for everything

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PASS #2: When I started my 52Nudges project, I allowed myself four passes—for any reason. This week my first draw was “Try a new recipe.” This is something I do regularly, it’s fairly easy for me, and I just wasn’t feeling it. I wanted something “bigger.” So back in the bowl went this Nudge, for another week. 

Backstory: I laughed out loud when I pulled this, which I did late in the afternoon, just after I made the final decision to pass on the first draw. And yes, I’m well aware that in the process I was late getting this post out. Classic!

Here’s what happened: I had plans to meet a girlfriend for a movie matinee, and I had offered to pick her up. My plan was to be out the door early, so I’d get to her place a little early. But the phone rang and the dishwasher wasn’t quite done and I completely forgot to post this Nudge after I drew it and…. I dashed out the door, raced over to her house, and pulled up 1 stinking minute after planned.

Perfect time to work on being early for everything.

I didn’t used to be like this. But as I’ve gotten older, my responsibilities have expanded, and there’s always something I need to do. I hate the constant race with the clock. Not only does my running behind make me feel awful about disrespecting friends (their time is valuable too), but it adds so much unnecessary stress to my life.

So this week, I’m flipping the early switch back on. Let’s do this!

 

Nudging: Visit a new market (i.e., Whole Foods, specialty)

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Backstory: A few weeks ago my husband and I tried out a sushi restaurant that just opened up in the neighborhood. At the table next to us, a dad ordered a table full of items for his two girls, who looked to be about five and two years old. No one complained or whined or insisted she was no longer eating things that were green (or raw or gooey). The two-year-old gobbled up salmon roe like they were jelly beans. It was amazing to watch—so inspiring! When I was growing up, I wouldn’t touch fish unless it was smothered in breadcrumbs and deep fried. And (and this is a tad embarrassing) I didn’t have my first sushi until I was in my 30s. Even now, I order the same things pretty much every time we go out.

Ruts. If I’m honest with myself, I have too many. I need to shake up my routines and expand my experiences. So for this week’s Nudge, I am going to check out a store that is new to me and wander for inspiration. Maybe I’ll go to a spice shop. Maybe I’ll pop into a bakery that creatively blends traditional flavors with contemporary culinary tricks. Or maybe I’ll just go to the big, beautiful, brand-new Whole Foods that’s nearby and see what’s in season.

What looks intriguing to you this week?

Nudging: Take a long hot bath

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Backstory: I was born and raised in Southern California, which means, in addition to being spoiled by great local produce and year-round mild weather, I learned how to conserve water around the same time I learned to walk. Don’t let the faucet run while you brush your teeth, wash the car using the bucket not the hose, take short showers. Those practices and more are now, in my fifth decade, firmly habits.

Which is in part why allow myself a long, hot bath maybe one time a year. Usually this happens if I take vacation time around the Christmas holiday, when I have the time to indulge in some self-care.

Did you read that sentence? “allow…if I take vacation…indulge” Geez. Maybe I can ease up a bit and “treat” myself this week.

P.S. I know some of you are reading this and thinking “A hot bath? In summer?!” Yeah, I get it. You live somewhere where the thermostat hits 80 or 90 or 100+ this time of year, while I live in San Francisco. In the fog bank. While you’re hanging out in shorts and flip flops, I’m huddled in front of a space heater wearing two sweaters and socks. It’s cold here.

But like with every other Nudge I draw, you are not required to do exactly the same. Pick something like this that will help you follow along. What would be an indulgence or treat for you? Maybe you spend the day with the A/C cranked up to full power (utility bills be damned). Or maybe you splurge and load up the freezer with the very best ice creams and gelatos money can buy. Or maybe you decide this week you’re going to take a day off work (gasp!), and drive to some place cooler, just…for…fun. I hope you’ll share in Comments what you do.

Nudging: Teach Louie (and me) a new trick

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Backstory: I’ve been caught up lately in trying to do all the Nudges “right”, in staying vigilant in my search for “meaning” and “direction”. What’s I’ve forgotten is this is also supposed to be “fun.”

I don’t allow much time in my life for fun. There’s plenty of must dos and shoulds, from client projects to household tasks to the stuff that seems to barely keep my head above water most days. So this week’s Nudge, it’s purely fun.

This Nudge requires the assistance of a willing partner. Here I am with mine, my sweet Louie.

P.S. What do you love to do? What haven’t you done in a while? What made you giggle when you were a kid? Think of something you can do this week that is purely fun, and do it. I hope you’ll share it here, because I could use some new ideas, and we might all be inspired.

Nudging: Wear the nice jewelry

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Backstory: This one was recommended by a reader (you know who you are—thank you!), and aligns with the Nudges like “Use the good china/silver.” I think it’s about enjoying our treasures and treating ourselves with respect. I’m mean, shoot, if I’d given someone a really special necklace, I’d love to see her wearing it, right? So off I go. Let’s see what this Nudge has in store for us.

P.S. Not into jewelry? Think about what other nice things you have that you don’t enjoy often enough. Maybe this is the week you “splurge” on the fancy box of tea or chocolates. Maybe instead of slaving away in the kitchen every night this week (hello, martyr), you dig into that stash of emergency cash and take you and your loved one(s) out for a nice meal. The key word here is “nice”. What’s something nice you can do for yourself?

Nudging: Interview an “expert” (someone doing something I want to do in life)

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Backstory: Do I want to change careers? Go back to school? Master a new skill?

In her book Sacred Success (see “For Inspiration” in the right column), author Barbara Stanny talks about one of her clients who was terrified about taking on a new challenge in her work. “I am not qualified…I better stay away…I might mess it up,” she told herself. (Hmmm, that inner voice sounds familiar.) Instead, she gave herself permission to be not perfect. “When you screw up, you can clean it up!” she told herself as she dove in. She later revealed that the secret was realizing “For everything I don’t know, I know someone who knows. I can just call them and they can tell me what to do—or do it for me!”

One of the most valuable gifts we have in life is our extended network. We know women who have made big changes in their own lives, women who have impacted ours in ways big and small, and women who are willing to mentor or at the very least give real-life answers to our really scary questions. What do I want to know? Who can I ask? How might it redirect me toward something I really want?

Who are you gonna call?

Nudging: Wander an expensive store, touch everything I want (but don’t spend a dime)

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Backstory: I groaned when I drew this Nudge, and almost used one of my passes. Money is tight, bills are due, I have a long list of things I need to put our money toward (roof repairs) and things I want to put our money toward (a real vacation). Why would I even want to be tempted by looking at pretty new things?

As I thought about the deeper meaning on this Nudge, I realized it’s not really about stuff. Maybe what I need to be doing is changing the energy surrounding me and my money. Maybe if in my mind I accept the items I touch, I will manifest receiving them, or I will simply stir up some newly energized wealth—in whatever form it comes.

Hey, I said I wanted to be “uncomfortable” in this journey. I best embrace that.

P.S. On the topic of wanting to save money, I stumbled upon this article on the BBC website about living “off-peak”. I love that this is really an exercise in living creatively, and I’m thinking a couple of the writer’s ideas need to be added to my List, such as meeting for breakfast vs after-dinner drinks and seeing if my favorite local bakery (Hello, Noe Valley Bakery!) offers day-old croissants (not likely) or baguettes (maybe). I might also start a list of books I want and wait for sales at my favorite shops (Hello, BookShop West Portal and Omnivore Books!). Maybe even saving money can be fun!

Nudging: Complete something on the to do list for 6+ months

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Backstory: This is so embarrassing. There are many things on my list that have been on there for more than six months.

As I sat at my desk and pulled this week’s Nudge, what is front of mind is the thing that has literally been in front of me for over a year: a map dated 1850 of my adopted city that was gifted to me, that I paid a small fortune to frame, that has been sitting on the floor of my office just in front of my desk, staring me down and basically saying “You loser! Please honor me, respect me, and enjoy me before I become just one other piece of junk that some niece or nephew (or stranger) has to dispose of when you’re gone!”

In other words: Hang that map!