Category Archives: passion&play

What’s up with the ladybug?

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“Listen, when I was a little girl, I used to spend hours looking for ladybugs. Finally, I’d just give up and fall asleep in the grass. When I woke up, they were crawling all over me.”

I love this line from the movie Under the Tuscan Sun. It’s a reminder that sometimes, when we want something desperately, instead of striving and begging, the best course of action is to quiet ourselves and let it come to us.*

Ladybugs also delight me. They’re always a surprise. You’re out in a park or your own backyard, and you look down, and there’s this sweet little thing tickling your hand. You stop for a moment, and the world stops around you. For a few precious moments, your whole focus goes to watching that bug, feeling its presence, taking in its simple beauty.

As I considered different logos for 52Nudges, my first instinct was to go with a bird being nudged out of its nest, but the images I found were either too cute or slightly violent (yikes!). A butterfly seemed the obvious choice: transformation, breaking out of a shell, spreading my wings. But I wasn’t feeling it, and I kept thinking about the ladybug. Curious, I looked up the symbolism at World Birds and discovered ladybugs represent “good fortune, true love…the right choices in life…and the time of the fruition of your dreams and wishes.” “When you encounter a ladybug spirit animal,” I learned, “you can be sure that positive transformations are on the way.”

Positive transformations are on the way.

That feels just right, so ladybug it is.

From past rounds of nudges, I know that I will be surprised by what I draw each Sunday, and that many of the Ah-hahs that come from those nudges will delight and inspire me. I’m excited to see what the 52Nudges 3.0 experience will bring into my life. We start December 12. Won’t you join me?

*In the movie, after Frances follows Katherine’s advice in the quote above, she returns to report: “Ladybugs, Katherine. Lots and lots of ladybugs….”

 

 

Nudged: Play dress-up

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Backstory: Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. As a kid, I planned months in advance for my costume, which, in almost every case, was something made by me. In the intervening months, I drew inspiration from the big box of Dad’s discarded suits and Mom’s out-of-fashion dresses to create characters and act out stories. Is it any wonder I was performing on stage by the time I hit middle school?

So, yes, this Nudge is from the list of “activities I loved doing when I was a kid.” There are still a few weeks before Halloween, and I’m not sure how I might complete the task, but I’m excited about it. It feels like play, and that’s what counts to me.

For fun inspiration, here’s a photo of me as Strawberry Fields for a James Bond theme party we attended a few years ago.

What Happened: What do I want to be when I grow up? What do I aspire to? What’s in my closet?

Every morning I woke up and asked myself these questions. I kicked off the week with “Savvy Business Woman” — note the kickass shoes! That evening, after I made an apple tart for dessert, I morphed into “Chic Parisian Housewife.”

I was “Jennifer Aniston’s Curvy Sister” in skinny jeans, a white cotton blouse, tailored blazer, and tasteful jewelry. Another day I pulled out the “good” yoga pants and colorful Pilates top to be “Jane Fonda’s Fav Workout Buddy.” (To legitimize the “costume,” I then did 30 minutes of yoga with Jane’s “AM/PM Yoga” DVD). One morning, feeling the fatigue of COVID+California wildfires+everything else, I chose to shrug myself into ratty…er comfy old sweats and pulled my hair into a decidedly unfashionable messy bun; I dubbed that ensemble “Finals Week.” Not truly something I aspire to, but it felt appropriate in the moment. By afternoon, I felt a little sunnier about life, so showered, flat-ironed my hair, and dressed in my best “So Cal Soccer Mom” outfit of white cropped jeans, pastel T-shirt, and bare feet.

As the week came to a close, I thought about what I might create for my pièce de résistance. I actually stayed up late one night brainstorming ideas. Femme fatale? Top Chef? World traveler? Old Hollywood glam to accept my Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay, based on my book of the same title? (“I’d like to thank my wonderful, always supportive husband, Thor….”)

Of all the fun characters I could become, I chose this….

Just Me, 2020.

The Ah-Hahs: Years ago I read an interview with Jamie Lee Curtis in which she said something about not doing as much acting because she’d really grown to like herself, just as she was. She no longer felt the need to pretend to be anyone else. You know what, I’ve come to feel the same.

I snapped a few selfies of me being Me for this post, then asked Thor for his pick (above). “You can’t do it all in just one photo,” he said. Wife, writer, friend, sister, creative, aunt, niece, colleague, blogger, teammate, deep thinker, empath, wit…. Like I said, “I’d like to thank my wonderful, always supportive husband” for always seeing Me. And I’d like to pat myself on the back for figuring out that I am enough, just as I am.

 

52+: Living Life in a 52Nudges State of Mind

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How have you used 52Nudges? Have you done each nudge along with me? Picked and pursued your own? Read about my adventures purely for the entertainment value? Something my friend Amy said recently intrigued me, so I asked her to elaborate. Here’s what 52Nudges has inspired her to do.

When Amy Morrell was first furloughed from her job in mid-April, she spent some of her time helping her daughter, Rowan, adjust to virtual schooling. Otherwise, she wasn’t particularly motivated to be productive. “It was so easy to sit on the couch and play videos all day,” she said, echoing how many of us felt in those early days of COVID-19 quarantine. “It was enough for me to keep the home semi-clean.”

Then she got inspired by Nudges. Although Amy doesn’t really have a Bucket List or Nudges of her own, she took a fresh look at how she wanted to spend her relatively free time. “What the blog does is it inspires carpe diem: don’t set aside for tomorrow what you can do today, don’t wait to try something new,” she said.

Sheltering at home, then, seemed like the perfect opportunity to do things she hadn’t yet had time for, such as painting, organizing the crafts room, resuming knitting projects, cracking open kits she’d purchased online, baking and trying new foods, and learning basket weaving.

“We started with hydroponic gardening,” she said, “growing our own food, like herbs, squash, peppers, and zucchini.” With that project thriving, she turned to acting on fulfilling another dream: providing a home for a menagerie of beloved pets. Amy had pets growing up, and she and Rowan already had cats and a couple of birds. The COVID furlough provided Amy with the time and energy to expand and manage what they now call “Morrell Zoo”.

Today their zoo includes thirteen birds, butterflies, two guinea pigs (Carrot and Apple), three cats (Jenks, Nemo, and Winnie), and a foster dog (Kody). With each, Amy and Rowan have learned and experienced something, like the importance of bird diapers, how removing nests puts a stop to aggressive behavior, how baby finches hatch, and the importance of cuddling. “Sunny (a cockatiel) loves to snuggle,” Amy said.

Rowan with Sunny, the snuggle-loving cockatiel.

“It doesn’t have to be any big expense,” Amy said, giving a nod to 52Nudges rules. Finding a “cheap” hobby, though, wasn’t a priority. “We didn’t save a lot of money, but it’s good for our state of mind,” Amy said. “The birds just make me happy.”

Kody, the latest addition to the Morrell Zoo. They are fostering him for Florida Little Dog Rescue.

Amy has been back at work (from home) since early July, and Rowan is now attending 2nd grade virtually, from a safe and socially distanced space provided by her dance studio. As their zoo continues to thrive, both gals continue to pursue new interests and activities. “When I want something, I do it,” Amy said, when asked to sum up her efforts to make the most of this time. “I live my life in a 52Nudges state of mind.”

Nudging: Play dress-up

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Backstory: Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. As a kid, I planned months in advance for my costume, which, in almost every case, was something made by me. In the intervening months, I drew inspiration from the big box of Dad’s discarded suits and Mom’s out-of-fashion dresses to create characters and act out stories. Is it any wonder I was performing on stage by the time I hit middle school?

So, yes, this Nudge is from the list of “activities I loved doing when I was a kid.” There are still a few weeks before Halloween, and I’m not sure how I might complete the task, but I’m excited about it. It feels like play, and that’s what counts to me.

For fun inspiration, here’s a photo of me as Strawberry Fields for a James Bond theme party we attended a few years ago.

52+: On a (sometimes bumpy) journey to a new passion-fueled career

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I am always on the lookout for stories about women who have followed their passions and created new opportunities for themselves. Is there something you love doing that you’d love to turn into a career? Have people told you it’s “impossible” because it’s “not realistic” or “you’re too young/old” or…? Hmmm…. I hope Melissa’s story will inspire you to take a chance on yourself.

After completing an internship in public relations, Melissa Fulton knew she’d never use her BA in Public Communications. After completing an internship at IBM in sales support, she chose tech sales for her career and spent 13 years on that path. When her second daughter was born, she took a leave of absence that “led to another year and another year and another baby and….” Fast-forward to 2017, when she faced an emptying nest and wondered, “What is my next chapter going to be?”

As Melissa explored her options, her husband made an observation. “You’ve always loved travel, and you love organizing everyone’s trips,” he said to her. “You should check that out.” He introduced her to one of his former work colleagues, a woman who had retired from the tech sector and started a travel agency. Melissa made the call, and as soon as she got off the phone, she thought, “I totally want to do this!”

It was another year before she went online to look up “How to be a travel agent.” During that interim, she thought about what she wanted—and what she didn’t. “I wanted to travel more,” she said. “I wanted a flexible schedule to be able to attend our kids’ events. I didn’t want to sit behind a desk 9 to 5.”

She explored joining a network and starting her own business. She spoke with other women who had started travel agencies and took their experiences to heart. “You can be very independent, hang your own shingle,” she said, “but I didn’t want to take on a large investment then realize it wasn’t the right fit for me.” With a franchise, however, the parent company offered training, website hosting, contract negotiating, marketing tools, and a network of helpful colleagues who could offer advice and suggestions. “I liked that structure and support,” she said.

She and her husband bought a franchise, named it Travel By Meli (her friends’ nickname for her), and dove in.

She started with some basic training and quickly realized the work was more complicated than she had anticipated. “It’s a big world out there!” she said. “There’s so much information. I got home and thought, ‘What have I done?’”

As she looks back, she sometimes wishes she could have started off in a more organized fashion, with more training upfront versus learning as she worked. “Instead, I decided I was going to help anybody and everybody,” she said, and with word-of-mouth providing the only advertising she needed, business took off like crazy. She quickly developed a reputation for expertise in planning land-based trips to Europe and river cruises, and often worked till the wee hours of the morning. “At times, it was too much,” she said, but she now sees it was the best way to learn. “It was better than reading or taking a course,” she said. She also found her personal travel experiences gave her an edge, for example, when she planned a trip to Peru for clients. “It’s such a unique experience,” she said, and it helped that she had taken a similar trip with her family and could advise her clients on what to expect and what they would need.

Melissa in Santorini, Greece, one of her favorite places.

Then, in early March of this year, COVID hit. “I became busier cancelling than I’d ever been booking,” she said. At one point she thought she might throw in the towel and go back to the corporate world, but was emboldened by the outstanding service she received from the “wonderful” suppliers who were handling the changes. Then…people started booking and rebooking again. “By mid-July, people were more optimistic and were just so tired of being home,” she said. “I heard, ‘We need something to look forward to!’ They started booking trips into 2022, and I thought, ‘Oh, I love this!’” She remains “definitely hopeful” and trusts that “the world will be okay again some day”.

When asked what advice she would offer to someone who is trying to figure out her next chapter, she thought about her response for a few moments before speaking. “‘What makes you excited?’ is the hardest question for anyone to answer,” she said. “I’m going through this right now with my daughter. Do you work for money or to be fulfilled? Do you volunteer [to feed your passion]? I don’t know.” She confessed she struggled initially to find her own way, in part, she said, because she sometimes felt like she had lost who she was while she was so busy caring for her growing family.

Based on her own journey, she offered some suggestions. “Get together with friends and chat. Ask them ‘What do you think I’m good at?’ and listen to their answers.” She also encourages women to trust themselves and their abilities. “It doesn’t matter how old you are or if you haven’t worked in years,” she said. “You have interests, your experience, and your work ethic.” Use them.

Authenticity plus optimism is paramount. “Don’t ignore the things you like to do, your passions, and think you can’t do anything with them,” she said. “Don’t sell yourself short.”

52+: When Dreams Take Flight

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I love hearing stories about how stars align (or Nudges nudge) for the perfect outcome. They remind me to stay positive and patient, to do what I can do, leave the rest up to the Universe, and have faith.

In this instance, a number of factors came together—a passion for history, a random ad, a supportive spouse, and a prompt from an acquaintance—to help one woman identify her dream and experience it in unanticipated ways. Inspired by her story, I asked if I could share her journey and insights with 52Nudges’s readers.

Pilar Dowell is a talented graphic designer. After working 15 years in-house and 10 years as a contractor for the Walt Disney Company, she opened Seattle-based Pilar Dowell Design and spread her wings to work with a broader clientele.

On the side, she fed her curiosity for World War II history, inspired initially by her dad, who was a teacher. “I like learning,” she said, “and I gravitate toward books and movies about history, specifically about WWII.”

One day, on her way out of an airplane-themed diner near her home, she picked up a local newspaper and noticed an ad offering “Free Fly Days” through the Flying Heritage & Combat Armor Museum. Every summer, they bring out some of their collection’s vintage aircraft and invite the public to come watch them fly. Pilar decided to check it out.

On her way there, she got lost and, by chance, ended up at Historic Flight, a smaller museum, then located at the opposite side of the tarmac. The friendly people inside gave her directions to her intended destination, but she saw enough to be intrigued and thought, “I have to come back here.” She picked up some information and made plans to return for a memorial flight commemorating the 70th Anniversary of D-Day. That afternoon, Pilar picked up her youngest son early from school and headed over. “I figured Alex would learn so much more about history that day than he would in school.”

A few weeks later, she and her husband, Rob, returned to attend a different event. As they looked around, Rob talked to someone on the staff and mentioned “My wife would love to volunteer here if you need graphic design.” Her first project was creating a brochure, and she soon learned incredible opportunities came with the job. “They would reward the volunteers with flight,” Pilar explained, including tours inside the planes and short turns at the controls. “The first time they asked ‘Would you like to take a ride in Grumpy?’ I almost cried,” she said.

Pilar in the cockpit of a B-25. (Photo courtesy of Pilar Dowell.)

Grumpy is a B-25, her favorite airplane. B-25s played a pivotal role in the Doolittle “Tokyo” Raid, which took place right after Pearl Harbor. Of the almost 10,000 models that were made, there are still about 100 B-25s (B stands for “bomber”) still in existence around the world. About 45 are air-worthy, Pilar shared in an enthusiastic burst of statistics, and the rest are on display in museums. With her colleagues from Historic Flight, she got to travel to Ohio to commemorate the 75th anniversary of the Doolittle Raid. “I met the man who was the co-pilot to Jimmy Doolittle, the last surviving Doolittle Raider,” she said, adding that meeting pilots and other retired military personnel, and hearing their stories, has been especially moving for her.

In addition to brochures and posters, Pilar created items, such as T-shirts, for Historic Flight’s retail store and marketing pieces for the flight show season, which runs April through September (except for this year, due to COVID). “I had just finished work for an air show,” she said, “and was showing it to the wife of the museum’s owner. She said, ‘You really should market aviation design,’ as a branch of Pilar Dowell Design.” The suggestion sparked Pilar’s imagination, and Fly Girl Graphic Design was born. Within a short period, she got a domain, designed a logo and business card, and built and launched the website.

With targeted clients that include aviation museums, airports, and pilot associations, Fly Girl Graphic Design is more about graphic design services than sales of merchandise. “I find it’s the most fun,” she said. “For example,” she explained, “when I was hired to create a poster and T-shirt design for an air show, I got to learn about the aircraft and the history.”

Fly Girl Graphic Design has brought together Pilar’s skills, experience, and passions. For those of us looking for ways to identify and pursue new personal and/or professional adventures with purpose, she shared some insights. “There are museums where you offer to volunteer, and those people become your community. They are there for the same reasons you are,” she said. “Seek. Find what you’re interested in, then go find your people.”

Nudged: Jump rope

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Backstory: This nudge came from the list I made of things I loved doing when I was a kid. What makes the timing perfect is I am completely bored by my exercise options. Great opportunity to mix things up!

If jumping rope is not your thing, pick an activity you loved doing as a kid that you haven’t done in a while (coloring, baking cookies, playing dress-up) or pull out that box of old sports gear and get outside to play!

What Happened: Apocalypse 2020. This is what is happening in my neighborhood today:

 

I might pull another Nudge from the bowl today. More likely I’ll just take the pass.

Be safe. Keep calm. Wear your mask.

This too shall pass.

Nudging: Jump rope

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Backstory: This nudge came from the list I made of things I loved doing when I was a kid. What makes the timing perfect is I am completely bored by my exercise options. Great opportunity to mix things up!

If jumping rope is not your thing, pick an activity you loved doing as a kid that you haven’t done in a while (coloring, baking cookies, playing dress-up) or pull out that box of old sports gear and get outside to play!

Nudged: Notice something

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Backstory: Oooo I love this nudge! It is inspired by artist Jenny Odell. I heard her speak at the In/Visible Talks design+art conference in 2018 (you’ll find the video of her talk on “How to Do Nothing” here), and her suggestion to “notice” things has stuck with me.

Using Jenny’s example, instead of bird-watching–which is a sort of doing, where you look for birds and check them off your list–you shift your attention to bird-noticing. You might listen for different bird songs, take in the brilliant colors in their feathers, watch for different patterns of flight. It’s a practice that encourages me to slow down, quiet myself, focus, and appreciate.

On a vacation, this nudge reminded me to stop on my walks and do a 360, literally turn around in a circle and take in everything around me. What a revelation! I noticed pebbles, clouds, architectural details, and the feel of the breeze on my skin. Another time, while doing my weekly grocery shopping, I slowed my rush to finish the task and noticed how beautifully bizarre fresh produce is. I mean–artichokes! I have a special respect for the first person who figured out how to eat one. (I like mine steamed in beer and dipped in melted butter, btw.)

Another aspect I love about this nudge is the necessary element of surprise. Who knows what I will notice–and be delighted by–this week!

What Happened: Whenever I travel to a new-to-me city, I love to get up really early one morning and walk that city as it wakes up. When you don’t have to navigate auto and pedestrian traffic, you are freed up to notice more of your surroundings. I’ve discovered all sorts of delights.

Lately, walking for exercise has felt to me like a competitive sport. I feel like I have to GET OUT (to lessen the sheltering-in-place cabin fever) and BURN CALORIES (because our gym is closed indefinitely and…well…the comfort food I consumed in the first several months of COVID have caught up with me). But there’s also the added stress of having to dodge fellow walkers. I’ll be walking along and see a family coming toward me, so I’ll step out into the street to allow proper social distancing. Or some maskless yahoo comes toward me, and I scramble to get as much distance as possible between us. Blood pressure waaay up!

Wednesday morning I got up extra early, before the sun peeked over the horizon, and headed out into my neighborhood. My route was pretty much the same one I take any other day, but this time I had it to myself. I didn’t see a single car or person, and as a result, I got to look around. I noticed roofline flourishes I’d never seen before. I noticed who has recently installed solar panels. Instead of looking at gardens or living room setups (this is what I normally look at, to get ideas for my own home), I noticed who has the lights on and wondered who was up with insomnia, a fussing baby, morning prayers, or an idea for a novel that just couldn’t wait. I also noticed smells from brewing coffee and frying bacon (yum) and someone’s pungent marijuana.

It was such a brilliant way to “wake up” to the day that I decided to do it again on Thursday.

It didn’t quite work out as planned. Thursday morning I hit the desk early and, before I knew it, it was past lunchtime. Determined to give it another go, I headed out midafternoon. I was pretty much beating myself up for blowing the nudge when a fantastic purple tree stopped me in my tracks.

Notice-purple-1

I recalled how, early in our quarantine days, a couple of friends had motivated themselves to get outside for walks by setting the intention to find things of a certain color. So that’s what I did. For the last half of my walk, I noticed–and took photos of–everything I could spot in every shade of purple. It was awesome! I’d see something and dash across the street to take a closer look. I’d giggle and whoop when I discovered something new. I shot closeups. I marveled at all the shades. I found lots of flowers, of course, but also pebbles and tiles. Was hoping to find a purple house (this is San Francisco, after all), but no luck. Maybe on the next walk.

The Ah-Hahs: Both of my noticing walks were delightful. Also, when I got home from the purple walk, I realized that for those full 20 or so minutes, I had not once thought of any of the worries I’ve been carrying for weeks.

Nudging: Notice something

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Backstory: Oooo I love this nudge! It is inspired by artist Jenny Odell. I heard her speak at the In/Visible Talks design+art conference in 2018 (you’ll find the video of her talk on “How to Do Nothing” here), and her suggestion to “notice” things has stuck with me.

Using Jenny’s example, instead of bird-watching–which is a sort of doing, where you look for birds and check them off your list–you shift your attention to bird-noticing. You might listen for different bird songs, take in the brilliant colors in their feathers, watch for different patterns of flight. It’s a practice that encourages me to slow down, quiet myself, focus, and appreciate.

On a vacation, this nudge reminded me to stop on my walks and do a 360, literally turn around in a circle and take in everything around me. What a revelation! I noticed pebbles, clouds, architectural details, and the feel of the breeze on my skin. Another time, while doing my weekly grocery shopping, I slowed my rush to finish the task and noticed how beautifully bizarre fresh produce is. I mean–artichokes! I have a special respect for the first person who figured out how to eat one. (I like mine steamed in beer and dipped in melted butter, btw.)

Another aspect I love about this nudge is the necessary element of surprise. Who knows what I will notice–and be delighted by–this week!