Tag Archives: 52Nudges

Nudged: Go to a park for 30 minutes; sit, breathe, do nothing

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Backstory: I groaned when I drew this Nudge, as it may be among the hardest I’m asking myself to do. And this week of all weeks, with client deadlines and meetings and a funeral to attend and financials to catch up and laundry that’s overflowing the bin and events to plan and…and that’s the point. Out of the 168 hours in this coming week, I can—and should—take 30 minutes for myself to get quiet, to rest and recharge, but really, to do nothing.

The view from my bench.

What Happened: From the moment I drew this Nudge I looked for ways to fudge on it. What if I broke it up into 10-minute segments? No. Could I do this while walking, sort of a meditation? No. Should I use up one of my passes? No! As I trudged through the week, I looked to the weekend, thinking I could squeeze this Nudge in before or after another event. But late today, Thursday, I pushed aside the to do list and headed out.

The drive to a nearby lake took less than 10 minutes. That’s right, I live within 15 minutes of three lakes, and I go to them how often? Pathetic. It was chilly, so bundled in my parka with fake-furry hood and gloves, a dog blanket from the car wrapped around my legs, I found a spot on a bench. The winds were high, and I found if I leaned into them, they supported me. It felt kind of like that Trust game we played as kids, where you lean back and trust that someone will catch you.

Ducks (mallards?) with elegantly dark green heads flew past, quacking to each other. For once, I was able to block out all of the other noise around and inside me to hear them. Actually, it was more than that. In January I attended a design conference at which one of the speakers, artist Jenny Odell spoke on “How to do Nothing.” She introduced the concept of bird-noticing. Not just watching and cataloguing, but listening, appreciating. Since then, I’ve noticed more birds around the neighborhood (most often in the morning when the one whose song sounds like the battery in our smoke alarm has died wakes me waaay too early).

To truly notice, you have to slow down, you have to be quiet. It’s not just turning your mobile phone to vibrate, but quieting your pace, your breathing, your mind. I did that today. And even though I struggled to stay in place for the full 30 minutes (it was quite cold), I am so glad I did it. Mother Nature rewarded my efforts, I think.

The Ah-Hah: This time, this quiet, was such a gift. I need to do more of this, especially since I have access to such beautiful places. Can I work a regular “appointment” into my schedule? We’ll see.

Nudging: Go to a park for 30 minutes; sit, breathe, do nothing

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Backstory: I groaned when I drew this Nudge, as it may be among the hardest I’m asking myself to do. And this week of all weeks, with client deadlines and meetings and a funeral to attend and financials to catch up and laundry that’s overflowing the bin and events to plan and…and that’s the point. Out of the 168 hours in this coming week, I can—and should—take 30 minutes for myself to get quiet, to rest and recharge, but really, to do nothing.

Nudged: Meditate for 60 minutes (10+ mins./day)

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Backstory: This is something I started working on last year, with mixed results. Some days or weeks I’d be on it, and I felt the impact in my level of calm, my focus. Most days and weeks, though, I was too easily distracted by the things that Life threw at me.

Naturally, I drew this Nudge ahead of a week that included a deadline for a feature article, deadlines for at least three other short articles, events on three weeknight evenings, and, oh, right, I’d committed to volunteering for a client’s day-long conference (which includes my needing to depart my home at 6:15 in the morning to make the commute). Perfect.

But really, when does Life ever stop to allow us to do the things we need/want to do? Um, never. So let’s make this happen.

What Happened: In her book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear,  Elizabeth Gilbert shared a conversation with Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön about her observations that people tend to quit their meditation practices just when it gets interesting—i.e., boring, uncomfortable, difficult. But. That’s when the magic comes in. I didn’t know if I’d get to that place in one week’s time, but I was eager to find out.

Day 1: Ten minutes feels like a looong time. As the timer on my phone ticks silently, I sit at my desk with eyes closed, trying to focus. My nose feels assaulted by my perfume, suddenly too strong, and the scented candle I’ve lit. My mind wanders to the to do lists for all the various projects in play. I am acutely aware that there is too much “noise” in my life. Practice. It’s a practice, it’s not supposed to be perfect.

Day 2: This is hard. Last night I got only a few hours of sleep, and I am a wreck today. I am also distracted by my messy (to my mind) surroundings. I want to tear apart my office and make neat little piles of everything so I can go through it all in an orderly fashion. I want to purge my closet, replacing only the items that truly make me look and feel my best. I want to go to the gym and get my blood pumping back up to my brain, but but but…. With all this whirling in my brain, I choose to drop it all and, for 10 minutes, sit in quiet. Be present, be present, says a chorus of gentle voices as my mind again tries to wander. My breathing slows, my spine straightens, my mind clears. So, calmer, more focused and determined, it’s back to work I go.

Day 3: Ten minutes still feels like an eternity. Maybe I should have eased in with increments of five minutes? Still, I can do anything for ten minutes, right? Maybe that’s the point, that I allow my overworked brain to rest for ten minutes a day. In today’s session, I feel called to lay hands on a project that has not been getting a lot of love from me lately. I tell it, “Today we’re going to kick ass!” It’s fun to talk to it like a living entity, and I feel inspired to move it ahead of other tasks on the to do list.

Day 4: Twelve-hour work day, no breaks. I was in my pajamas at 6:30 pm. If I close my eyes for two minutes, I’ll fall asleep.

Day 5: Today is another deadline day and I began my work shift feeling overwhelmed. I did a half-assed five-minute meditation session, and although I would have benefited from more, just that much bolstered my clarity and focus.

Day 6: It’s been another long day, this one filled with household chores. My poor brain aches from the constant mental chatter ranging from random song lyrics and rundowns of to do lists for the various parts of my life (work, social, fitness), to thoughts about family members and friends and concerns for our hurting world. So I light some candles, sit in our quiet living room, and set the timer for a 15-minute catching-up session. A few minutes in, my head drops to my chest and startles me awake. I straighten up, reground my feet, focus on my breathing. I finish the session feeling refreshed, and this strengthens my resolve to keep practicing.

Day 7: We took a spontaneous road trip today, and I dropped the ball on my meditation time. If I continue this, there is something to be said for scheduling it at the same time every day. Could I do that?

The Ah-Hah: Let’s see…ten plus ten plus…I managed to meditate for 50 minutes this week. For reasons that aren’t yet entirely clear to me, this was harder to do than I anticipated. Technically, I failed to meet my goal of 60 minutes or 10 minutes for six days, but I succeeded at nudging myself into trying something new, something I think is beneficial for me. My one week of meditation practice met Pema Chödrön’s definition of interesting, but I didn’t quite make it to the other side, and I’d like to continue so that I can also experience the promised magic.

 

P.S. If you are interested in starting a meditation practice, the Calm app has some great free and for-a-fee options.

Nudging: Meditate for 60 minutes (10+ mins./day)

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Backstory: This is something I started working on last year, with mixed results. Some days or weeks I’d be on it, and I felt the impact in my level of calm, my focus. Most days and weeks, though, I was too easily distracted by the things that Life threw at me.

Naturally, I drew this Nudge ahead of a week that included a deadline for a feature article, deadlines for at least three other short articles, events on three weeknight evenings, and, oh, right, I’d committed to volunteering for a client’s day-long conference (which includes my needing to depart my home at 6:15 in the morning to make the commute). Perfect.

But really, when does Life ever stop to allow us to do the things we need/want to do? Um, never. So let’s make this happen.

Nudged: Have a glass of wine with lunch; linger

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Backstory: My lunch breaks are generally just long enough to get fuel into me for the afternoon’s work. Occasionally I take some of that time to run to the market, dash to the post office, return a due item to the library. Linger? Right. Now, the good news is this week I’m heading out of town on a vacation, and I’ll have at least one opportunity to have lunch on my own. I don’t like eating by myself, and I pretty much never drink by myself. But I’m going to try this, because it’s forcing me to slow down and enjoy my midday meal.

What Happened: After a long walk at the beach, I took myself to a bar for a half turkey sandwich (which I’m guessing was built to feed half of a linebacker), a green salad, and a generous pour of a local Sauvignon Blanc. Yuuum. I alternated reading pages in an absorbing novel (Ahah’s Wife: Or, the Star-Gazer by Sena Jeter Naslun—you can read a thoughtful review here) with looking out the front window to take in the view over the ocean. A bite, a sip, a not-too-obvious sigh of contentment. I ate slowly; a change for me. I enjoyed every quiet moment, and I finished everything on my plate with a little wine left.

Now, the problem, I’ve discovered, is when I have enough good wine, it works on my brain in some unexpected ways, such as “Of course you want dessert!” So I enjoyed the last sips with a deeply rich chocolate torte (nestled in a bath of crème fraîche, dear God in Heaven), then finished the meal with a cup of sugary, creamy coffee. A nap, which also felt like an indulgence, followed.

The Ah-Ha: Is this what it takes for me to slow down and enjoy a meal? Pretty much, and how sad that is. But a lunch ’n’ linger experience is not something that can happen on a regular Monday through Friday. I also don’t want it to be something that only happens on vacation. I need to find some balance. Maybe it’s something I treat myself and my husband to once a week, on the weekend, along the lines of brunching while lingering over the Sunday New York Times.

Speaking of balance, I also need to figure out how to balance the positive impact (actual lingering) with the semi-negative (I really didn’t need that torte).

Nudging: Have a glass of wine with lunch; linger

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PASS #1: When I started my 52Nudges project, I allowed myself four passes—for any reason. This week my first draw was “Drink one of the DNS bottles of wine.” “DNS” stands for “Do Not Share” and it’s how my husband and I label those really special wines (i.e., we broke the budget) that we want to save for a special occasion (which means they sit in our basement, unenjoyed, for far too long). I knew I was heading out of town this week, so didn’t want to open one of these for just one serving. So back in the bowl went this Nudge, for another week. 

Backstory: My lunch breaks are generally just long enough to get fuel into me for the afternoon’s work. Occasionally I take some of that time to run to the market, dash to the post office, return a due item to the library. Linger? Right. Now, the good news is this week I’m heading out of town on a vacation, and I’ll have at least one opportunity to have lunch on my own. I don’t like eating by myself, and I pretty much never drink by myself. But I’m going to try this, because it’s forcing me to slow down and enjoy my midday meal.

P.S. Not a wine drinker? No problem. You might instead serve yourself a fresh-squeezed lemonade or a fancy, fizzy Italian soda. The beverage you choose is not the point on this one, it’s about allowing ourselves to rest, sip, savor, and linger.

Nudged: Do a “Fairy Deed”

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Backstory: This is one of my favorite things to do. Some people call it a “Random Act of Kindness,” and I can’t recall why I started calling it a “Fairy Deed”. Maybe because the idea started out as something that I did under the cover of darkness, while the recipient was sleeping, much like the Tooth Fairy delivers her presents.

I have been doing these deeds for years, sometimes mailing lottery tickets to a selection of friends or delivering a basket of lemons and small bag of sugar to someone I knew was going through a rough time (encouraging her to turn those lemons—especially the figurative ones—into lemonade). Other times I have paid for the coffee or parking fee for the stranger behind me in line, anything that might brighten someone’s day. The deed does not need it be expensive or grand, but the key, for me, is that it must be anonymous. That is what makes it so much fun.

Plus, I think about how much I love a surprise and how infrequently I get them. When was the last time I received a package that I hadn’t ordered myself? When was the last time I got flowers or a gift for no particular reason? When was the last time I was delighted by a random act of kindness? Here’s my chance to do that for someone else.

What Happened: All week long I thought about who I might select as the recipient of my Fairy Deed. Since the key is to be anonymous, I ruled out friends who might see this post and those who know me well enough that they would immediately suspect me.

I also thought about what I might do. Sadly, because we now worry about acts of terrorism, I ruled out sending an unsigned letter or package. I thought of sending a bouquet to a work colleague with a silly note signed “Anonymous”, but worried she might think she’d attracted a stalker. What a sorry world we live in that we have to consider these concerns!

Finally, I decided to focus on an elderly neighbor, Mrs. W., who is housebound. Our lilac tree is in bloom, so I clipped a few branches, wrapped them up, and hoped this small offering might bring her some cheer.

With my heart beating in my chest, I started out the front door, then stopped myself as another neighbor pulled into his driveway. I raised a hand in greeting, then pretended to pick up a newspaper off the porch. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him head up his steps, and I heard his door click shut. Mission back on. Like a thief in the night, I made my way down the street, only to spot a couple I didn’t know heading toward me. Dang it! I hid the flowers behind my back and made an abrupt left into our side yard as if I were, oh, I don’t know, inspecting the progress of the weeds. Geez! Once they’d passed, I looked left-right-left, then dashed across the street. Hoping Mrs. W. wasn’t looking out her front window, I involuntarily crouched down a bit—’cause that wouldn’t make me look suspicious! Like a grown-up Ding-Dong Ditcher, I crept up the steps, gently placed the bouquet on her doorstep, snapped a photo, and sprinted back toward home.

Safely back in my living room, I had to laugh at myself. I felt like a total goof, but a happy one. I peered through my front window to see if I’d missed any witnesses, and was a little disappointed that my view of Mrs. W.’s porch was obstructed. I’m sure one of her caretakers will find the flowers, and I hope they give Mrs. W. even a portion of the pleasure my deed has brought me.

The Ah-Hah: There are all sorts of ways to get a boost of adrenaline. Most are not healthy, but I think this Fairy Deed business is. And it’s legal! The cost, too, was minimal: a sheet of wrapping paper, a bit of twine, flowers from the garden. The joy it gave me, meanwhile, was priceless.

Nudging: Do a “Fairy Deed”

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Backstory: This is one of my favorite things to do. Some people call it a “Random Act of Kindness,” and I can’t recall why I started calling it a “Fairy Deed”. Maybe because the idea started out as something that I did under the cover of darkness, while the recipient was sleeping, much like the Tooth Fairy delivers her presents.

I have been doing these deeds for years, sometimes mailing lottery tickets to a selection of friends or delivering a basket of lemons and small bag of sugar to someone I knew was going through a rough time (encouraging her to turn those lemons—especially the figurative ones—into lemonade). Other times I have paid for the coffee or parking fee for the stranger behind me in line, anything that might brighten someone’s day. The deed does not need it be expensive or grand, but the key, for me, is that it must be anonymous. That is what makes it fun.

Plus, I think about how much I love a surprise and how infrequently I get them. When was the last time I received a package that I hadn’t ordered myself? When was the last time I got flowers or a gift for no particular reason? When was the last time I was delighted by a random act of kindness? Here’s my chance to do that for someone else.

Nudged: Go through the spice/herb cabinet and try a new one

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Backstory: Perfect timing on this one. I have been keeping a list of items I’m low on so that I can place a big order with Penzeys Spices. Just this morning, I pulled that list off the side of the fridge with plans to order this week, then I drew this challenge. What shall I try? Hmmm….

What Happened: What the heck is marjoram? I must have purchased it for some recipe, but no recollection of what that was. The label says it’s a “…cousin of oregano,” so I added it to a recipe that called for oregano, a roast chicken with a tahini-honey rub. Sadly, the resulting dish was disappointing, so I won’t share it here, but I don’t know if I gave the herb it’s full opportunity to strut its stuff. Certainly I can toss it in a Greek salad, or mix it in with a dressing or chimichurri sauce. Inspired to experiment, I went online and found Nancy Fuller’s recipe for “Glazed Carrots with Marjoram”. Maybe I can add carrots on next week’s grocery list and give it a try.

Meanwhile, the bonus in this Nudge was the other discoveries I made in that cabinet. A decrepit oil sprayer hidden in the back (gr-oss) went straight into the trash. A couple of forgotten spice blends got pulled for use as we head into outdoor grilling season, and a bottle of White Balsamic Vinegar with Peach that I purchased on a whim at a farmers’ market last year is finally making its debut. Yum!

The Ah-Hah: I think I make the same ten dinners in rotation every month (and taco salad happens way too often). Boring! Good to spice things up (pun fully intended) once in a while!

Nudging: Go through the spice/herb cabinet and try a new one

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Backstory: Perfect timing on this one. I have been keeping a list of spices I’m low on so that I can place a big order with Penzeys Spices. Just this morning, I pulled that list off the side of the fridge with plans to order this week, then I drew this challenge. What shall I try? Hmmm….

 

P.S. If you’re looking for inspiration, I encourage you to visit a nearby spice shop where you can smell and sometimes taste the offerings. Most also offer recipes either in the store or online. Why not try something totally different!