Backstory: Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. As a kid, I planned months in advance for my costume, which, in almost every case, was something made by me. In the intervening months, I drew inspiration from the big box of Dad’s discarded suits and Mom’s out-of-fashion dresses to create characters and act out stories. Is it any wonder I was performing on stage by the time I hit middle school?

So, yes, this Nudge is from the list of “activities I loved doing when I was a kid.” There are still a few weeks before Halloween, and I’m not sure how I might complete the task, but I’m excited about it. It feels like play, and that’s what counts to me.

For fun inspiration, here’s a photo of me as Strawberry Fields for a James Bond theme party we attended a few years ago.

What Happened: What do I want to be when I grow up? What do I aspire to? What’s in my closet?

Every morning I woke up and asked myself these questions. I kicked off the week with “Savvy Business Woman” — note the kickass shoes! That evening, after I made an apple tart for dessert, I morphed into “Chic Parisian Housewife.”

I was “Jennifer Aniston’s Curvy Sister” in skinny jeans, a white cotton blouse, tailored blazer, and tasteful jewelry. Another day I pulled out the “good” yoga pants and colorful Pilates top to be “Jane Fonda’s Fav Workout Buddy.” (To legitimize the “costume,” I then did 30 minutes of yoga with Jane’s “AM/PM Yoga” DVD). One morning, feeling the fatigue of COVID+California wildfires+everything else, I chose to shrug myself into ratty…er comfy old sweats and pulled my hair into a decidedly unfashionable messy bun; I dubbed that ensemble “Finals Week.” Not truly something I aspire to, but it felt appropriate in the moment. By afternoon, I felt a little sunnier about life, so showered, flat-ironed my hair, and dressed in my best “So Cal Soccer Mom” outfit of white cropped jeans, pastel T-shirt, and bare feet.

As the week came to a close, I thought about what I might create for my pièce de résistance. I actually stayed up late one night brainstorming ideas. Femme fatale? Top Chef? World traveler? Old Hollywood glam to accept my Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay, based on my book of the same title? (“I’d like to thank my wonderful, always supportive husband, Thor….”)

Of all the fun characters I could become, I chose this….

Just Me, 2020.

The Ah-Hahs: Years ago I read an interview with Jamie Lee Curtis in which she said something about not doing as much acting because she’d really grown to like herself, just as she was. She no longer felt the need to pretend to be anyone else. You know what, I’ve come to feel the same.

I snapped a few selfies of me being Me for this post, then asked Thor for his pick (above). “You can’t do it all in just one photo,” he said. Wife, writer, friend, sister, creative, aunt, niece, colleague, blogger, teammate, deep thinker, empath, wit…. Like I said, “I’d like to thank my wonderful, always supportive husband” for always seeing Me. And I’d like to pat myself on the back for figuring out that I am enough, just as I am.