Category Archives: mind/body/spirit

Nudged: Wipe down the kitchen cabinets

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Backstory: Our kitchen…sigh. It is not in any way a passionate home cook’s dream set-up. It is oddly configured and even more oddly decorated. We have an old miner’s inspired lamp hanging in one half; a bare bulb hanging in the other. The decor dates back to the 1970s and features worn linoleum that…wait for it…some previous creative (and cheap) owner decided to use bits of extra to run up sections of some of the walls. I dream of our home being selected for one of those great makeover shows where a team comes in and redoes everything in just one week! (Notice I did not say a “reality” show.)

What is often my greatest challenge with this heart of our home, where I make almost all of our meals, is that my only work space is a cramped 20″ x 30″.

But…I have a kitchen. I have working appliances. I have money for food and skills that make it possible for me to serve up more than mac ‘n’ cheese from a box every day. I also have friends who create gourmet feasts for parties of it in a kitchen half the size of mine.

So it’s time I shift my perspective and show this room a little love, starting with cleaning the grimy (and good grief, they’re disgusting when you really look) kitchen cabinets.

What room in your home could use a little TLC this week?

What Happened: All the fingerprints, splatters, smudges…gag. I spritzed, I scrubbed, and I buffed.

Cabinets Before 2

Before…

Cabinets After 2

…and after.

It took me less than an hour to get the whole room done, and while my work wasn’t perfect, it was progress. I notice the difference.

The Ah-Hahs: After the first couple of cabinets, I started looking around at the rest of the room. The floor is clean, though it would benefit from a deep-cleaning. I really should use a mop to wipe the ceiling and take down some of the cobwebs in the corners. (When did those take up residence?) And I should also tackle cleaning the doors throughout the house that show signs of dirty hands and noses (thanks, Louie). But I stopped myself from pulling an all-nighter. Those tasks can be future nudges.

The real ah-hah though was that as I worked, I found myself appreciating all that I do have. See that list above: home, actual kitchen, food. I remembered back to when I moved apartments many years ago and a friend who helped with the unloading showed up with a blessing. We asked that my new space be filled with friends and love and laughter. So I did something similar this week. I thanked my cabinets for all they do, and I blessed this space that–despite my complaining about its flaws–makes it possible for me to receive a lot of joy.

Nudged: Treat my feet

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Backstory: Upon drawing this morning’s nudge, my first thought was PEDICURE! It’s been over two years since I’ve had a full-service professional pedicure, and this may be the week I pull the money from my budget and treat myself to an hour of pampering. (Face mask on, of course.)

But then I pulled my notes about what inspired this nudge, and it was simply to lather my feet in thick lotion and put them up in some heated booties (a gift from a friend that I haven’t used as much as I should). That’s more in line with my “rules”, which dictates that nudges must be “cheap”.

We’ll see how I feel as I head into the week.

What might you do to treat your feet — or any part of you that needs a little extra TLC — this week?

What Happened: I was all set to give myself the full treatment at home: soak in a tub of hot water and Epsom salt, scrub the callouses off, trim the cuticles, polish the nails in some cheery color. Then (and stay with me), I asked my feet what they wanted.

They wanted to walk in the sand.

feet in sand

So off to the beach I went, for a long barefooted walk.

It was exactly the treat my sweet feet — and sweet spirit — needed.

The Ah-Hahs: It was in February of this year that I finally — after nearly 10 years of living here — spent time at the beach near my home. That one nudge shifted so many things for me, and now the beach is where I go whenever I need a reboot.

sand dollar

The air, the sounds and feel of the water, and the sand (bonus: natural callous-scrubber!) are all free. I’m learning again and again with these nudges to appreciate — and take full advantage of — the simplest pleasures.

Nudging: Treat my feet

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Backstory: Upon drawing this morning’s nudge, my first thought was PEDICURE! It’s been over two years since I’ve had a full-service professional pedicure, and this may be the week I pull the money from my budget and treat myself to an hour of pampering. (Face mask on, of course.)

But then I pulled my notes about what inspired this nudge, and it was simply to lather my feet in thick lotion and put them up in some heated booties (a gift from a friend that I haven’t used as much as I should). That’s more in line with my “rules”, which dictates that nudges must be “cheap”.

We’ll see how I feel as I head into the week.

What might you do to treat your feet — or any part of you that needs a little extra TLC — this week?

Nudged: Exhale

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Backstory: Alexandra Epple’s blog, Spirit Journey (you met Alexandra in a 52+ interview about a month ago), inspired this nudge. In her “The Gigantic Breath Cycle of Your Life” post, she wrote a couple of lines that struck a chord with me:

“Our society is not set up to honor exhales. We are set up for creation, achievement, progress…all of which equate to inhaling.”

A healthy cycle of breathing, she went on to explain, is inhale, exhale, pause.

I suck at this. “Pause”? Oh, sure, I do that when I’m sick or exhausted or forced to shelter in place for an extended period of time. But the rest of it is challenging for me. “When we find ourselves in the exhale cycle,” Alexandra continued, “it takes courage, awareness, and reminders to allow yourself to be in that space.”

I know I need to be more intentional about healthy breathing–about healthy living–until it becomes my new natural rhythm. Starting today, I’m going to practice this.

What Happened: We live in stressful times. I mean…really. My stress level the past several months has been Off. The. Charts. And even though some things have somewhat calmed down, I know that I continue to carry that stress with me every day, even if nothing new is added to my load.

But this week I practiced dealing with it a little better. Every time I felt the worry (and some times panic) start to bubble up, I stopped in my tracks, closed my eyes, visualized a positive outcome for whatever I was worrying over, and let out a long, deep exhale. Then I moved on.

Monday I had to work at it some. I’d carry around a worry — about my husband’s safety, for example — and feel myself gearing up for a meltdown. Then I’d catch myself and go through my new routine. By Tuesday, I was dropping into the stop-visualize-exhale drill before the worry got its claws in me. I barely even thought about it, I just did it.

So I am heading into this holiday (Happy Independence Day to my U.S. readers!) feeling quite calm. And, if I start to feel less calm, I know I can handle it.

Exhale-post-2

 

The Ah-Hahs: I could meditate, practice yoga, get hypnotized, take anti-anxiety meds, drink more whiskey…or, I can exhale. For me, it really can be that simple.

Nudging: Exhale

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Backstory: Alexandra Epple’s blog, Spirit Journey (you met Alexandra in a 52+ interview about a month ago), inspired this nudge. In her “The Gigantic Breath Cycle of Your Life” post, she wrote a couple of lines that struck a chord with me:

“Our society is not set up to honor exhales. We are set up for creation, achievement, progress…all of which equate to inhaling.”

A healthy cycle of breathing, she went on to explain, is inhale, exhale, pause.

I suck at this. “Pause”? Oh, sure, I do that when I’m sick or exhausted or forced to shelter in place for an extended period of time. But the rest of it is challenging for me. “When we find ourselves in the exhale cycle,” Alexandra continued, “it takes courage, awareness, and reminders to allow yourself to be in that space.”

I know I need to be more intentional about healthy breathing–about healthy living–until it becomes my new natural rhythm. Starting today, I’m going to practice this.

Nudged: Claim my “bread”

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Backstory: The idea for this nudge came from the book The Sermon on the Mount by Emmet Fox. It basically comes down to embracing the fact that God (Mother Earth, the Universe–whatever term you choose) always provides. “Bread” in this instance may be actual bread, though it really means everything we require for a healthy, happy, free, and harmonious life.

Then it’s a little more. It’s a call to stop being so stubbornly self-sufficient. And that’s what intrigued me, so I thought I’d explore it. Do I need to work on stopping all the doing in my life? (Yes.) Do I need to allow some good to come to me for a change? (Yes.)

Last year, a close friend was rushed to the emergency room and received a very scary diagnosis. I was terrified, and I desperately wanted to do something to help her and her family. She, naturally, resisted at first. We’re grownups, we’re proud people, we can take care of ourselves–right? I told her I understood, for I saw myself in her. I asked her to allow me to step up, and she finally accepted. It felt really really good to be there for her, even in small ways. She has since recovered, and I am reminded that my friends would like the opportunity to give to me on occasion too. Sometimes we can give each other the gift of giving to each other. I know that last sentence is a bit of a tangle, but when I break it down, it makes sense to me.

I’m not sure where this nudge will take me, and I’m eager to try it out.

What Happened: Careful what you wish for!

Early Monday morning, while making breakfast for me and my guys, I dropped a pan full of hot grease on my bare foot. Thor was home, and we were able to treat it immediately. No trip to the ER, no blisters. It could have been so much worse, and I feel really lucky.

However… I spent all of Monday and Tuesday with my foot stuck in a pot of cold water to keep it from blistering and keep the swelling down. Any time I moved (office to couch, couch to office), that pot went with me. And since I am still unable to put on a shoe,  I’m home-bound.

foot in cold water

That’s one way to kick prideful self-sufficiency to the curb!

Rest and healing became the only goals of my week, so that’s what I focused on. I did get some client work done, and then I took the time gifted to me to do some internal work. I thought about how I have recently blocked my creativity by filling my time with doings–admin work, housework, busy work. There are other things I want to really devote my time and energy to.

So I pulled a book about breaking through creative blocks out of my stack and got to work, my work. I’m starting with a self-commitment to choose projects that feel “100% Kath.” I wrote that on my big white board: 100% Kath.

It’s a start. I’m ready to claim all my good.

The Ah-Hahs: So…the other thing that happened…. I took myself outside for lunch today (inspired by the nudge from a few weeks ago) and noticed the blueberry bush. The full-of-ripe-berries blueberry bush!

blueberries

I have done nothing to deserve or earn this other than occasionally remembering to give it some water, and yet here it is, bursting with gifts to give me. Another reminder that God always provides–and often gives us more than we asked for. We just have to claim it–or, in this case, harvest it! 🙂

 

Nudging: Claim my “bread”

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Backstory: The idea for this nudge came from the book The Sermon on the Mount by Emmet Fox. It basically comes down to embracing the fact that God (Mother Earth, the Universe–whatever term you choose) always provides. “Bread” in this instance may be actual bread, though it really means everything we require for a healthy, happy, free, and harmonious life.

Then it’s a little more. It’s a call to stop being so stubbornly self-sufficient. And that’s what intrigued me, so I thought I’d explore it. Do I need to work on stopping all the doing in my life? (Yes.) Do I need to allow some good to come to me for a change? (Yes.)

Last year, a close friend was rushed to the emergency room and received a very scary diagnosis. I was terrified, and I desperately wanted to do something to help her and her family. She, naturally, resisted at first. We’re grownups, we’re proud people, we can take care of ourselves–right? I told her I understood, for I saw myself in her. I asked her to allow me to step up, and she finally accepted. It felt really really good to be there for her, even in small ways. She has since recovered, and I am reminded that my friends would like the opportunity to give to me on occasion too. Sometimes we can give each other the gift of giving to each other. I know that last sentence is a bit of a tangle, but when I break it down, it makes sense to me.

I’m not sure where this nudge will take me, and I’m eager to try it out.

Nudged: Ignore the laundry

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Backstory: Well, crap. I knew this was coming — heck, I created these nudges! — and have been dreading the day I would pull it from the bowl. That day has come.

This is included because over the past two years I’ve noticed I’ve been been saying more frequently “Laundry is my life.” Sorting, washing, drying, line-drying, ironing, folding, putting away…. It’s meant to be a joke, but it’s not so funny any more.

There was a small part of me that thought just now  “I have until noon — I can do just a few things (aka cheat) to get ahead of this.” But that defeats the purpose of the nudge, so here I go, starting now, I commit to ignoring the laundry for one week.

To keep myself honest, here’s a photo of the basket of clean laundry sitting next to my bed.

laundry before

If all goes well (haha), it will be right here seven days from now. Impossible to know if I’m doing myself a favor or creating a massive headache for myself for next Sunday.

What Happened: This has been one of the most physically uncomfortable nudges I’ve done. Not because I didn’t have clean clothes — we were fine — but that it nudged me so far out of my comfort zone. I was thrown totally off-balance. By nature and/or nurture, I am a multitasker, and throughout the week I would see a basket or pile or whatever and my brain would want to just take care of it. But I resisted the urges, and it was challenging! So much so, that I woke up early yesterday morning from a dream in which I was sorting laundry. That is just wrong.

Except for a shirt Thor pulled out of the Before basket (he’s supportive of my nudgings, but, heck, he didn’t sign up to do them himself!), that basket of clean items by the bed remained untouched. He helped by lugging the overflowing basket of items to be sorted and washed down to the basement for me. (Good man.)

laundry after

We were fine, by the way. Had all the essentials and spares we needed. I did, however, run out of warm PJs. That sounds weird to most of you, I know, but remember I live in San Francisco where “summers” are cold and flannel is my friend. I remain grateful for our heavy blankets and comforter.

The Ah-Hahs: “We were fine.” That says it all, and I continue to be grateful for all that we have in our life. I mean, come on, I have a washer and dryer on site, and a closet and dresser full of clothes. So many people in our world have so much less.

But what I learned most from this week is It’s okay to let things go. I don’t have to multitask all the time. I don’t have to drive myself to exhaustion trying to finish every task on the to do list. I don’t have to be “perfect”. Aside from the nightmare, I felt pretty good through the week. Maybe even a little less stressed than usual. I also didn’t try to fill that “free” time with other tasks. This, to me, is a successfully completed nudge.

 

 

Nudged: Buy 2 bunches of flowers

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Backstory: I’m so happy to see this nudge pop up, because it makes me…well…happy. 🙂

The idea is to buy one bunch for myself and deliver the second bunch to a friend.

Let’s go make someone’s day a little brighter!

What Happened: So easy…. At the market during my lunch break today, I grabbed two beautiful bunches of…

sunflowers

One bunch is on our dining table. The other I left on a neighbor’s front porch with a note.

The Ah-Hahs: $5 bucks. That’s all it cost me to do this one small thing for a friend. I didn’t have to make a special trip or exert much extra energy (I walked across the street, for Pete’s sake). Yet I know this one small act of kindness will brighten my neighbor’s day.

I see no reason to overthink this, it just feels good. 🙂

Nudged: Have lunch outside

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Backstory: I have such good intentions, but then so often I’m “too busy”. This nudge is about shaking up the routine.

After I pulled this nudge this morning, I thought about my options. The obvious choice for me is to head to the backyard (I work from home even when we aren’t sheltering-in-place). Back in my corporate days, I would find a place to sit in a courtyard, near a fountain, perhaps. In a perfect world, of course, I’d find a pretty spot in a park or on the beach.

Speaking of the sheltering-in-place, my husband and I got creative when we wanted to get out. A few times we picked up sandwiches to go, found a spot with a view of the Pacific Ocean, and had a “picnic” in the car. This would fulfill this nudge too.

If none of the above work, at the very least, I can open a window.

Hope you can get out this week.

What Happened: The day started like so many others. I faced a long to do list of work, household, and personal projects. I ate breakfast while standing at the kitchen counter and multitasking. In between nibbles and sips, I emptied and reloaded the dishwasher, fed the dog, checked the headlines, planned the menu for dinner, made mental notes about this ‘n’ that….

As lunch time came (and whooshed by), I was tempted to do more of the same…until I remembered this nudge. I put my food on a real plate and headed to the cute little bistro table in my backyard.

For a few minutes I allowed myself to stop and enjoy an unrushed meal.

lunch outside 2020

The Ah-Hahs: Though it was fairly uninspired menu of leftovers, I actually tasted and enjoyed my food. I slowed my breathing. I listened to the birds and felt the warmth of the sun on my skin. I read a few pages of a novel. I thought about things other than the afternoon’s deadlines.

Specifically, I brought back memories of the days when most of my meals were taken outside. (Granted, that was when I lived in Southern California and the weather cooperated.) I routinely started the day with a cup of tea on the front porch. Lunch on the back patio. Dinner under the blooming crepe myrtle tree.

One of my favorite annual events was what I called the French Picnic. I invited a handful of friends over, asking each to bring a Francophile dish. Champagne, tarts, freshly baked bread, seasonal fruits, and simple proteins appeared. We dragged my full-size dining table into the front yard and covered it with the cloth from Provence and small vases filled with lavender. We shared the food, we shared stories. We shared our lives.

Over these past few months, as we’ve practiced strict social distancing, conversations with family and friends have included the question: “What do you want to do most when this is over?”

I finally have my answer.