Nudging: Do a Fairy Deed

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Background: Some people call it “random acts of kindness”. For whatever reason, years ago I started calling them “Fairy Deeds”. Maybe because it feels like there’s magic in it, as I flit in and out to deliver the gift.

The idea is to give something small that lifts someone else’s spirits. In the past I’ve left a bag with lemons and sugar with a note encouraging the recipient to turn a rough period into lemonade. I’ve mailed scratcher lottery tickets. I’ve cut flowers from my garden, tied them in a bow, and placed them on neighbors’ doorsteps (while engaging in a silly grownup version of “Ding-Dong Ditch” so they found the gift before it had wilted). The anonymous part of doing a Fairy Deed is important to me, in that it doesn’t set up the expectation of reciprocation.

This doesn’t need to be an extravagant act, and in keeping with the 52Nudges rules, it should be “cheap”. But if you have the means and the desire, go for leaving a ginormous tip for the gal who brews your morning coffee with a smile (and looks like she can’t take one more day of this pandemic). Have fun with it…because the secondary gift of this nudge is that it lifts the giver’s spirits too.

 

Nudged: Enjoy a fire in the fireplace

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Backstory: Before those of you who are living through a normal sweltering summer protest this week’s nudge, let me remind you that where I live, it’s cold. Dark. Damp. Depressing. This nudge comes at the perfect time for me.

At a deeper level, this nudge is about mixing up routines. Instead of “relaxing” in front of the TV night after night, at least one time this week I hope to turn off all electrical devices and enjoy the warmth and beauty of a real-live fire. Maybe I’ll read a book. Maybe I’ll mix up a couple of cocktails and Thor and I will play Gin Rummy. Or maybe I’ll just sit quietly and delight my senses with the crackles and colors of the flames.

If an indoor fire sounds like a special level of Hell right now, you might enjoy an outdoor fire pit. Or find a shady spot to enjoy the sounds of running water. Maybe this is the week you stay up late one night and go outside to watch the fireflies or gaze at the stars. I hope you’ll find something to do that delights your senses.

What Happened: Helluva week for this nudge. News broke this morning of rapidly spreading wildfires and frantic evacuations across the state of California. We’re fine here. Just a lot of smoke, which is nothing compared to what many of our good friends are facing today.

Screen Shot 2020-08-19 at 11.27.20 AM.png

So instead of relaxing in front of our fireplace, I’m going to tidy up the guest room, reach out to friends who might need a refuge, and pray for rain.

Take care of yourselves — and thank our first responders!

 

 

Nudging: Enjoy a fire in the fireplace

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Backstory: Before those of you who are living through a normal sweltering summer protest this week’s nudge, let me remind you that where I live, it’s cold. Dark. Damp. Depressing. This nudge comes at the perfect time for me.

At a deeper level, this nudge is about mixing up routines. Instead of “relaxing” in front of the TV night after night, at least one time this week I hope to turn off all electrical devices and enjoy the warmth and beauty of a real-live fire. Maybe I’ll read a book. Maybe I’ll mix up a couple of cocktails and Thor and I will play Gin Rummy. Or maybe I’ll just sit quietly and delight my senses with the crackles and colors of the flames.

If an indoor fire sounds like a special level of Hell right now, you might enjoy an outdoor fire pit. Or find a shady spot to enjoy the sounds of running water. Maybe this is the week you stay up late one night and go outside to watch the fireflies or gaze at the stars. I hope you’ll find something to do that delights your senses.

 

Nudged: Pick something from the Big To Do List

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Backstory: The intention behind this nudge is to pick one of those BIG PROJECTS that have reappeared on various editions of my Big To Do List–and this is the important part (that doesn’t quite fit in the headline space): break it down into smaller steps and finally start getting it done.

I checked my notes from when I first created my nudges List, and this is the what I thought I might do:

Plan a Picnic: pick a date, invite family and friends, pull the picnic basket (an item that I love) up from the basement and give it a good cleaning, go through cookbooks and plan a fun menu, select games (bocce ball!), pick a park….

I’m more than a little sad that I can’t do all of this right now (darn COVID), and I’m tempted to do part of it because I really do miss picnics. It’s been several years since I’ve been on a proper picnic, which is why having one has been on the to do list for so long.

However, doing “part” is not the point of this nudge. So I’m going to take a look at the really BIG PROJECTS on my list and pick one. Maybe I’ll make a plan for starting a Victory (against COVID) Garden and growing my own salads. Maybe this is the week I do some research on what I’ll need to take a trip to Portugal (someday) and set up a special savings account with a plan for regular small deposits. I might sand and paint an old desk that desperately needs a facelift. Or I could go for one of the projects on my list that gets me closer to achieving a professional goal.

What are you inspired to tackle this week?

What Happened: I landed on something that speaks to a couple of ongoing projects: decluttering and trying new recipes. Over the past several months, I’ve been trying to sort through old recipe cards, clippings, and books; organizing those recipes I want to make again; and either tossing or sharing those I don’t. I feel like I’ve made very little progress. So, this week I pulled everything together and created what I’m calling “Cookery Central.”

Cookery Central

Everything I want to go through is in this one space, and it’s in a part of my office so I will see it every day. My plan is to devote 20-30 minutes per day, working until I have an organized system. In the process, I look forward to the fun of trying new things and recreating old favorites.

The Ah-Hahs: One reason I decided to focus on this particular project right now is because this is a huge undertaking and needs to get done. The other is that cooking and baking are creative activities that give me a lot of pleasure. And these days, I need to create my own entertainment while we continue to social-distance. This feels like a good fit. I’m excited to make some real progress with this.

Just looking at the photo above makes me happy. I see Ina Garten, David Lebovitz, Julia Child, and Jacques Pépin represented. I feel like I’m reconnecting with old friends.

And who knows…maybe my next blog adventure idea will come from this. 🙂

Nudging: Pick something from the Big To Do List

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Backstory: The intention behind this nudge is to pick one of those BIG PROJECTS that have reappeared on various editions of my Big To Do List–and this is the important part (that doesn’t quite fit in the headline space): break it down into smaller steps and finally start getting it done.

I checked my notes from when I first created my nudges List, and this is the what I thought I might do:

Plan a Picnic: pick a date, invite family and friends, pull the picnic basket (an item that I love) up from the basement and give it a good cleaning, go through cookbooks and plan a fun menu, select games (bocce ball!), pick a park….

I’m more than a little sad that I can’t do all of this right now (darn COVID), and I’m tempted to do part of it because I really do miss picnics. It’s been several years since I’ve been on a proper picnic, which is why having one has been on the to do list for so long.

However, doing “part” is not the point of this nudge. So I’m going to take a look at the really BIG PROJECTS on my list and pick one. Maybe I’ll make a plan for starting a Victory (against COVID) Garden and growing my own salads. Maybe this is the week I do some research on what I’ll need to take a trip to Portugal (someday) and set up a special savings account with a plan for regular small deposits. I might sand and paint an old desk that desperately needs a facelift. Or I could go for one of the projects on my list that gets me closer to achieving a professional goal.

What are you inspired to tackle this week?

Nudged: (Re)memorize 50 state capitals

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Backstory: Am I smarter than a 5th grader? We’ll find out!

Around the time I was putting together my Nudges list, the capital city of Michigan came up in conversation. No one in my little group could come up with it. (Detroit, FYI.) In addition to feeling embarrassed that I couldn’t come up with the answer on the spot, this  planted a seed in me as I thought about how much fun I have had learning: spelling bees, vocabulary tests, geography, algebra (oh, how I loved algebra!). I miss using the part of my brain that loves the process of looking things up, learning, memorizing, and testing.

But that was only part of the inspiration for me. Earlier this year a dear friend became a U.S. citizen and I had the privilege of attending her naturalization ceremony. It was one of the most moving experiences of my life. Afterwards, she shared with me her test materials, which Thor and I were sure we would ace. Actually, there were a few answers we didn’t know!

So I’m going to take this opportunity to (re)learn a bit about my beloved country.

If this particular nudge doesn’t appeal, here are some options: learn the capitals of countries in a specific region, memorize a portion (or all) of the periodic table, look up the Latin names for the plants in your backyard. Do something the tickles your curiosity bone and have fun with it!

What Happened: After printing out a list of the capitals, I spent a few minutes every day reviewing them. It was Wednesday night when I asked Thor to administer a practice test. It was not pretty. Whenever I couldn’t come up with the correct answer, I simply yelled “CHARLESTON!” because I knew it was the capital of something. (My apologies to West Virginians.)

Last night was the final exam. I was on a roll till the very last one: Georgia. “AUGUSTA!” I yelled. “NO!” Thor yelled (with a little too much glee, I thought). ATLANTA! Dang it! I’ve even been there, so I have no excuse (except than earlier in the week we were talking about the Masters Golf Tournament, the one with the green jackets, which takes place in Augusta, Georgia, but I got no bonus points for knowing the trivia). Still 49 outta 50 is commendable.

50 states-post

The Ah-Hahs: Gosh, it was fun to learn about some of the cities. It was interesting to consider how some of the capital cities must have once been thriving centers of commerce, but over the centuries have been eclipsed by other big cities. I thought about places I might like to visit some day. Epic road trip, anyone? Mostly though, this was simply of week of having fun learning.

Nudging: (Re)memorize 50 state capitals

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Backstory: Am I smarter than a 5th grader? We’ll find out!

Around the time I was putting together my Nudges list, the capital city of Michigan came up in conversation. No one in my little group could come up with it. (Detroit, FYI.) In addition to feeling embarrassed that I couldn’t come up with the answer on the spot, this  planted a seed in me as I thought about how much fun I have had learning: spelling bees, vocabulary tests, geography, algebra (oh, how I loved algebra!). I miss using the part of my brain that loves the process of looking things up, learning, memorizing, and testing.

But that was only part of the inspiration for me. Earlier this year a dear friend became a U.S. citizen and I had the privilege of attending her naturalization ceremony. It was one of the most moving experiences of my life. Afterwards, she shared with me her test materials, which Thor and I were sure we would ace. Actually, there were a few answers we didn’t know!

So I’m going to take this opportunity to (re)learn a bit about my beloved country.

If this particular nudge doesn’t appeal, here are some options: learn the capitals of countries in a specific region, memorize a portion (or all) of the periodic table, look up the Latin names for the plants in your backyard. Do something the tickles your curiosity bone and have fun with it!

Nudged: Make and decorate a cake

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Backstory: I am a huge fan of baking shows, which is ironic because I don’t like eating most baked goods. What I love is the mix of art, creativity, science, beauty, and nerves of steel. I hold my breath as I watch home cooks–like me!–test their skills and push beyond their boundaries and create things that inspire my imagination.

One of the skills I am not naturally gifted with is piping. I would love to learn how to make those fancy borders and swirly tops and pretty edible flowers and…. This is my chance to try it all.

What Happened: I went to the market three times this week, each time with the ingredients to make a cake and icings on my list. And three times I couldn’t pull the trigger. What the heck?! I just…I just didn’t want to.

At one point I tried to talk myself into this because I was pretty sure the photos would show results similar to my latte art nudge. (My attempts to create a frothy “heart” were hilarious–see the nudge here.) Yes, that would have made for a funny post, but it wouldn’t have been true to the intention of 52Nudges.

Why didn’t I want to make and decorate a cake?…. How about…because I don’t like cake.

For real. Simple truth.

On my last trip to the market I picked up some whipping cream thinking maybe I’d just do some practice piping on a board and call it a day. But I didn’t even want to do that. So I put aside this nudge for another day and went into the kitchen to make something I truly enjoy making: All-American Apple Pie:

All-American Apple Pie

I should note that I don’t like eating pie any more than I like eating cake. But Thor loves this, and I love making it for him.

The Ah-Hahs: When I created my list almost a year ago, the nudges all appealed to me for one reason or another. I can also give you reasons for why I feel I should do some of them. But as I progress through this nudging process, what I’m really learning is what feels right for me right now. How do I want to spend my time and energy and creative gifts? What makes me happy? What fills my soul? I’m still going to nudge myself to try new things, especially things that push me out of my comfort zone, but as I do them, I’m paying closer attention to what I feel is “100% Kath”.

I refuse to have regrets, but I imagine my life would be quite different if I’d figured this out in my 20s. But–hey–imagine how authentically amazing my life is going to be moving forward. 🙂

Nudging: Make and decorate a cake

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Backstory: I am a huge fan of baking shows, which is ironic because I don’t like eating most baked goods. What I love is the mix of art, creativity, science, beauty, and nerves of steel. I hold my breath as I watch home cooks–like me!–test their skills and push beyond their boundaries and create things that inspire my imagination.

One of the skills I am not naturally gifted with is piping. I would love to learn how to make those fancy borders and swirly tops and pretty edible flowers and…. This is my chance to try it all.

Nudged: Phone a friend

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Backstory: This one is inspired by “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” For real! The idea is to look around at my various projects and to do lists, figure out where I need help, and tap into my wealth of personal resources. I have friends who are have an eye for interior design, who have a true sense of fashion, who are organizational gurus, who are handymen (and women!). It’s about stopping the procrastination and asking for help.

Who you gonna call? 🙂

What Happened: What I really wanted to do was call this one friend in particular and get her advice about how I might upgrade our living room decor and have her help me cull my wardrobe while taking her suggestions for just the right in-style pieces to make me feel good. Instead, I came up with every excuse for why this can’t happen right now: I still don’t feel ready to have people over (even in masks), I don’t feel comfortable spending money to make what feel like extravagant purchases, I’d like to lose the extra pounds I’ve gained from comfort eating before I add anything to my wardrobe…. Sigh.

I tried talking myself out of these excuses and into following through with this nudge, but it just didn’t feel right. So I listened to my heart and what it wanted out this nudge.

Phone

After some quiet thinking, I made a quick list of friends I haven’t been able to see in months and I started calling. For most I got their voicemail, so I left short messages along the lines of “I’m thinking of you! I miss you! Hope you and your loved ones are safe and healthy!” Others picked up and we were both treated to a loving reconnection.

(I just took a close look at the above photo. Gack! Having now cleaned the cabinets–see last week’s nudge–I think I need to clean all of the phones around the house!)

The Ah-Hahs: Like with so many of these nudges, sometimes I have to shift in the middle and do what feels right in the moment. I still hope–and plan!–to call some of my expert friends for their help in the future. But for this week’s, it felt really good to just make a lot of “Thinking of you” calls.

By the way, I hope you and your loved ones are all safe and healthy! xoxo