52+: Connections—Someone who has been impacted by COVID-19

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For this nudge, I’m pulling out my box of greeting cards. I might send a:

  • Sympathy card to someone who has lost a loved one
  • Get Well card to someone who is recovering
  • Thank You card to a healthcare or other essential worker
  • Thinking of You card to someone who is struggling

Ecards, postcards, and text messages also will work for this. The point is to reach out and communicate “I care.”

Please share. If these nudges are inspiring you and lifting your spirits, please forward them to friends and family members and invite them to join in.

52+: Connections—Friend from a club (you were part of pre-COVID)

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Remember when we used to meet in person once a month (or week) to work on a special project or toward a common goal, to volunteer our time and talents, to learn and grow, or simply to socialize? Waaaa! Even though the groups I have been a part of have shifted to Zoom and much of our purpose is being addressed, It’s. Just. Not. The. Same.

I miss my people!

So here’s my nudge to make an extra effort to connect with someone. It might be a long-time friend, someone who I used to see on a regular basis, or it might be someone I was just starting to get to know and looked forward to getting to know better.

Our groups might include:

  • tennis buddies, weekend softball team, running group
  • service organization
  • book club
  • bible study
  • mommy & me group (even if you’re kids are all grown)
  • foodies who used to get together for dinner parties
  • drinking buddies (when I pulled up possible images for “club” for this post, I got photos for nightclubbing—this works too!)

I’m sensing that reaching someone on the phone and having an actual conversation will be the right move for me. If we struggle to get beyond “How are you?”, I plan on asking, “What do you miss most about our in-person meetings?” (And maybe: “What do you miss least?”)

If chatting on the phone is outside your comfort zone this week, here are a couple of alternatives:

  • Send a postcard: Thinking of you! I miss you and look forward to seeing you back at [name of club] as soon as we can safely be together in person again!
  • Send a text message (see above).

Karma! One friend came to mind the moment I pulled this nudge—but she beat me to it! She had seen my post introducing 52+: Connections and was inspired to invite me for a socially distanced walk. We’ve got a date inked on our calendars and I’m all warm fuzzies.

 

52+: Connections — People you see out on a walk

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The full nudge I wrote out for myself didn’t fit in my title space. It reads: “People you see out on a walk (say ‘Hello! Good morning!’ to everyone you encounter)”

I was rather disappointed when I drew this as the first nudge for this Connections series. I was hoping for something a bit grander, more playful and exciting.

But the more I thought about it, I realized it’s a perfect way to kick things off. The seed for this nudge was planted back when COVID first caught us in its grip and we masked up, gloved up, and rubbed our hands raw with sanitizer to stop the spread. It seemed obvious to me that the virus was spread either by physical touching or through the air, so it struck me as funny when I would greet people when I was out for a walk and they would look away without responding. “It’s not contagious through eye contact!” I wanted to shout.

As time went on, though, their emotional distancing became contagious, and I stopped saying anything and started avoiding eye contact. It was “easier” to keep to myself.

More recently, though, I’ve noticed how much my spirits are lifted when someone—a perfect stranger—greets me with smiling eyes and then takes the exchange to the next level of humanity by asking “How are you?” and—and this is key—waiting for my answer.

I want to be like those people.

So this week, one day while I’m out getting my exercise in the neighborhood, I’m going to greet everyone I pass. There will probably be some people who will pretend to not hear me, but I have a feeling most will respond in kind.

“In kind.” Don’t you love that phrase?

Alternatives: Not heading out for a walk this week? Here are some other ways you might complete this nudge:

  • If you’re lucky enough to get to be with coworkers, make a point during the day to greet every one. “Good morning! It’s nice to see you! That color looks amazing on you!”
  • If all you’ve got on the schedule is a grocery run, make eye contact with a few fellow shoppers and share a smile (yes, you can do that with your eyes). When you reach the cash register, ask the checker “How are you today?” and listen to their answer.
  • Home bound? No problem. Pull about a sheet of paper and colored pens (or your kids’ big box of crayons) and write “I wish you a great day!” (That feels more personal than “Have a great day!”) Decorate it with hearts / butterflies / stars and tape it to a front window for everyone to see.
  • Live in a big building? Make that sign and post it next to the mailboxes or the main entrance.

Please note: Different from previous rounds of nudges, I won’t be creating a separate follow-up post for What Happened and The Ah-Hahs. Instead, I hope you’ll share your experiences with everyone in the Comments. xo

52+: Connections

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Hello! I’ve missed you! I hope this finds you safe, healthy, and doing mostly okay.

Since wrapping up 52Nudges 2.0 last year, I’ve been thinking a lot about what to do next. I’ll let you know when I’ve figured out how 3.0 will look (stay tuned). Meanwhile, I am feeling called to do a specific, short-term Nudging project.

Backstory: When we first started sheltering-in-place, I was really good at reaching out and keeping in touch with family and friends. Somewhere around January 3, however, I hit a wall. Hard. Every time I got ready to make a call or send a catching-up email, I felt like I had nothing to say.

“We’re fine. We’ve been fine. Nothing is different.”

So I stopped. And I started to feel super-depressed and even more isolated than before. And it’s going to be a while before we’re all vaccinated and free to go about our new “normal”. How can I mix things up and create new ways to keep my spirits up? Well, I’m going to nudge myself.

Introducing 52+: Connections

If you’ve followed 52Nudges in the past, you’ll know that I love making connections, and I always include nudges that inspire me to be creative in how I keep in touch with people. For this round, I’m going to be a little more focused and intentional in just this one area of nudging.

I hope you’ll join me.

Here’s how to prepare:

  1. Gather supplies: postcards, stamps, lovely stationery, stickers, your favorite writing pen, etc.
  2. Make a list of people. My list includes names of specific friends and family members, as well as types of people (a teacher, a teenager, a friend from high school, an elderly person who lives in a retirement home, an essential worker, a friend who lost someone to COVID, a neighbor).

In this next week, I’ll type up my list and tear those names/people into strips, wad them up, and put them in my special bowl. Each Sunday, I’ll draw one and come up with a way to connect.

As always with the nudges, feel free to make your own list, follow whatever nudge I draw, or just read along for the entertainment value. Don’t worry about what you might write or say; I’ll include prompts with each to inspire us all.

I look forward to seeing you back here next Sunday, March 7.

Affectionately,

Kathleen

52+: I’d appreciate your input

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Hello again!

I hope this finds you and your loved ones safe and healthy. I hope you’re still finding ways to be creative and have fun.

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I’m taking a breather from blogging to mull over what to do next with 52Nudges. Among the suggestions: podcasts, another year of nudges, a book. I’m exploring these and other ideas (and I’m open to new ideas), so stay tuned.

Meanwhile, I’d love to get your input. Sometime this week, would you take a look at the old posts and let me know in the Comments here what have been some of your favorite Nudges?

  • Was there one that you found especially inspiring, motivating, or funny?
  • Was there one that changed how you perceive or do things?
  • Was there one that had a wonderfully surprising “Ah-hah” for you?

We did two full rounds of 52, so you have lots to choose from.

Thank you in advance. xoKathleen

Thank you

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Dear Nudgers,

That’s it. We’ve completed our second round of 52 weeks of 52 nudges.

What started out as a personal quest has become a small movement, and I am so grateful to you for your support, ideas, and enthusiasm. Thank you for joining me on this journey.

What’s next? I don’t yet know. I’m going to give myself some time to reflect, think, breathe, explore, rest, dream, consider. (I’m open to suggestions, by the way.) At the moment, my short-term plan is to create a static post with links to some favorite nudges, a place for newcomers to get a taste of what we’ve done here as well as some fun memories for you and me to revisit and get re-inspired.

Stay creative, stay hopeful. Keep nudging yourself.

With much gratitude,

Kathleen

Nudged: Play dress-up

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Backstory: Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. As a kid, I planned months in advance for my costume, which, in almost every case, was something made by me. In the intervening months, I drew inspiration from the big box of Dad’s discarded suits and Mom’s out-of-fashion dresses to create characters and act out stories. Is it any wonder I was performing on stage by the time I hit middle school?

So, yes, this Nudge is from the list of “activities I loved doing when I was a kid.” There are still a few weeks before Halloween, and I’m not sure how I might complete the task, but I’m excited about it. It feels like play, and that’s what counts to me.

For fun inspiration, here’s a photo of me as Strawberry Fields for a James Bond theme party we attended a few years ago.

What Happened: What do I want to be when I grow up? What do I aspire to? What’s in my closet?

Every morning I woke up and asked myself these questions. I kicked off the week with “Savvy Business Woman” — note the kickass shoes! That evening, after I made an apple tart for dessert, I morphed into “Chic Parisian Housewife.”

I was “Jennifer Aniston’s Curvy Sister” in skinny jeans, a white cotton blouse, tailored blazer, and tasteful jewelry. Another day I pulled out the “good” yoga pants and colorful Pilates top to be “Jane Fonda’s Fav Workout Buddy.” (To legitimize the “costume,” I then did 30 minutes of yoga with Jane’s “AM/PM Yoga” DVD). One morning, feeling the fatigue of COVID+California wildfires+everything else, I chose to shrug myself into ratty…er comfy old sweats and pulled my hair into a decidedly unfashionable messy bun; I dubbed that ensemble “Finals Week.” Not truly something I aspire to, but it felt appropriate in the moment. By afternoon, I felt a little sunnier about life, so showered, flat-ironed my hair, and dressed in my best “So Cal Soccer Mom” outfit of white cropped jeans, pastel T-shirt, and bare feet.

As the week came to a close, I thought about what I might create for my pièce de résistance. I actually stayed up late one night brainstorming ideas. Femme fatale? Top Chef? World traveler? Old Hollywood glam to accept my Oscar for Best Adapted Screenplay, based on my book of the same title? (“I’d like to thank my wonderful, always supportive husband, Thor….”)

Of all the fun characters I could become, I chose this….

Just Me, 2020.

The Ah-Hahs: Years ago I read an interview with Jamie Lee Curtis in which she said something about not doing as much acting because she’d really grown to like herself, just as she was. She no longer felt the need to pretend to be anyone else. You know what, I’ve come to feel the same.

I snapped a few selfies of me being Me for this post, then asked Thor for his pick (above). “You can’t do it all in just one photo,” he said. Wife, writer, friend, sister, creative, aunt, niece, colleague, blogger, teammate, deep thinker, empath, wit…. Like I said, “I’d like to thank my wonderful, always supportive husband” for always seeing Me. And I’d like to pat myself on the back for figuring out that I am enough, just as I am.

 

52+: Living Life in a 52Nudges State of Mind

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How have you used 52Nudges? Have you done each nudge along with me? Picked and pursued your own? Read about my adventures purely for the entertainment value? Something my friend Amy said recently intrigued me, so I asked her to elaborate. Here’s what 52Nudges has inspired her to do.

When Amy Morrell was first furloughed from her job in mid-April, she spent some of her time helping her daughter, Rowan, adjust to virtual schooling. Otherwise, she wasn’t particularly motivated to be productive. “It was so easy to sit on the couch and play videos all day,” she said, echoing how many of us felt in those early days of COVID-19 quarantine. “It was enough for me to keep the home semi-clean.”

Then she got inspired by Nudges. Although Amy doesn’t really have a Bucket List or Nudges of her own, she took a fresh look at how she wanted to spend her relatively free time. “What the blog does is it inspires carpe diem: don’t set aside for tomorrow what you can do today, don’t wait to try something new,” she said.

Sheltering at home, then, seemed like the perfect opportunity to do things she hadn’t yet had time for, such as painting, organizing the crafts room, resuming knitting projects, cracking open kits she’d purchased online, baking and trying new foods, and learning basket weaving.

“We started with hydroponic gardening,” she said, “growing our own food, like herbs, squash, peppers, and zucchini.” With that project thriving, she turned to acting on fulfilling another dream: providing a home for a menagerie of beloved pets. Amy had pets growing up, and she and Rowan already had cats and a couple of birds. The COVID furlough provided Amy with the time and energy to expand and manage what they now call “Morrell Zoo”.

Today their zoo includes thirteen birds, butterflies, two guinea pigs (Carrot and Apple), three cats (Jenks, Nemo, and Winnie), and a foster dog (Kody). With each, Amy and Rowan have learned and experienced something, like the importance of bird diapers, how removing nests puts a stop to aggressive behavior, how baby finches hatch, and the importance of cuddling. “Sunny (a cockatiel) loves to snuggle,” Amy said.

Rowan with Sunny, the snuggle-loving cockatiel.

“It doesn’t have to be any big expense,” Amy said, giving a nod to 52Nudges rules. Finding a “cheap” hobby, though, wasn’t a priority. “We didn’t save a lot of money, but it’s good for our state of mind,” Amy said. “The birds just make me happy.”

Kody, the latest addition to the Morrell Zoo. They are fostering him for Florida Little Dog Rescue.

Amy has been back at work (from home) since early July, and Rowan is now attending 2nd grade virtually, from a safe and socially distanced space provided by her dance studio. As their zoo continues to thrive, both gals continue to pursue new interests and activities. “When I want something, I do it,” Amy said, when asked to sum up her efforts to make the most of this time. “I live my life in a 52Nudges state of mind.”

Nudging: Play dress-up

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Backstory: Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. As a kid, I planned months in advance for my costume, which, in almost every case, was something made by me. In the intervening months, I drew inspiration from the big box of Dad’s discarded suits and Mom’s out-of-fashion dresses to create characters and act out stories. Is it any wonder I was performing on stage by the time I hit middle school?

So, yes, this Nudge is from the list of “activities I loved doing when I was a kid.” There are still a few weeks before Halloween, and I’m not sure how I might complete the task, but I’m excited about it. It feels like play, and that’s what counts to me.

For fun inspiration, here’s a photo of me as Strawberry Fields for a James Bond theme party we attended a few years ago.

Nudged: Answer a call

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Backstory: How do you make God laugh? You tell her your plans.

It’s an old joke, but lately it’s felt like much of my life. Between sheltering-in-place (for months and months…), political upheaval and civil unrest (that’s putting it mildly), a family member with COVID (wear your mask!), and the widespread fires and resulting deep layers of smoke, few things have gone as planned. This has included recent Nudges. I drew tasks that I really looked forward to, only to have them kiboshed by forces way out of my control.

Instead of crawling under the covers till it all passes, I decided to get creative this week. I am doing a Nudge that is not off the original list, one that will allow surprise and spontaneity.

“Answer a call” does not mean picking up a call from “Unknown”. It does not mean picking up when I see the caller is someone I really really don’t feel like talking to. Instead, it means listening to myself. Listening to that still, small (and occasionally nagging) voice inside me. And when it says “You should do this,” whatever “this” might be, I have every intention (not “plan”) to drop what I’m doing and…well, you know.

What Happened: I’ve been reading a book about the Law of Attraction, and earlier this week I read a passage about the importance of clearing space to make room for what I want. This gives a whole new dimension to my ongoing decluttering efforts. I’ve been so focused on “getting rid of” (shredding, tossing, sharing) that I haven’t given much thought to “what I want.” Until this week. 😉

There are many big projects on my to do list, one of which is going through my closet. Daunting! There’s stuff in there…I don’t even know where to begin. Stuff that doesn’t fit, suit my current lifestyle (or climate), feel good, or look good. I’ve long wanted to upgrade to Me 2020, but have put it off until…I lose weight, make some extra cash, activate my Stitch Fix account, decide what my authentic style is, win the lottery…. Till then, there’s just been a soft nagging to “Get to it.”

This morning I finished a client job ahead of deadline and had the gift of a little free time. As I headed back to my office after lunch, that soft voice got louder and announced “SHOES!”

A section of the pre-sort jumble.

Okay then. That was my “call”. I set a timer for 30 minutes, pulled everything out, and sorted. Final tally: 5 embarrassingly worn-out pairs to the trash, 2 barely worn pairs to the donation box, and 6 empty boxes that have just been taking up space. Inspired, I added to the donation box a special occasion dress I’ve worn once in seven years. (Even though it was pretty on the hanger, it made me feel frumpy.)

The shoes that went back into my closet are neatly organized, which feels good. But what might make me the happiest is these beauties got pulled out of the shadows and into an easily accessible spot.

Ready to go!

Plans to go on hikes with friends are on hold right now, till the fires are contained and smoke cleared. But as soon as we get the okay from the air quality index, I’ll be ready to go.

The Ah-Hahs: I do like having plans. I like setting goals, breaking them down, and checking steps off my list until I reach the finish line. However. Life is rarely that direct, so I’m learning to work with zigs and zags, to go with the flow, to open myself up to new opportunities. I suppose I end up in the same place, and some times the journey feels a little more fun when it isn’t just about being at the destination.

This week’s nudge was a perfect example of that. It was spontaneous and productive. As I type this, I feel lighter — and not just because I’ve unloaded some old stuff. Maybe it’s because I took a “must do” and reframed it into a “nudge”. Maybe it’s because once I cleared away the worn-out and uncomfortable stuff, I was left with the nice and comfortable stuff. Maybe it’s simply because I found a way to physically experience the act of clearing space to make way for good of every kind to come into my life. 🙂