Category Archives: 52+

52+ Connections: A sibling or cousin

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My Gram, my hero.

At first glance, this nudge isn’t much of a stretch. My siblings and I talk almost every day, especially during this year of being shut in as we share in supporting and caring for our parents.

But when was the last time we really talked? How long has it been since we explored the stuff below the surface—our dreams, our goals, our deeply held beliefs* about anything?

I haven’t yet decided if this week’s nudge will involve a sib or a cousin, but I am feeling inspired by the above photo of our grandmother. I found it in a random box (one of the perks of decluttering), and she has held a place of honor on my desk for the past few weeks. I’m thinking I might send it via text messaging with a conversation prompt, like: “Remembering Gram today. I see her in your daughter’s smile.”

Through an email, text message, letter, or call, you might share:

  • a photo of an ancestor: “I wonder what he’d think of iPhones/FitBit/Harry Styles?”
  • a memory: “Remember when we/they…”
  • a family tradition: “I miss the days when…”

Most of all, I think the message in this week’s nudge is: “I miss you.”

* But not politics. We’ve all seen enough rifts in our family networks over the past few years. Maybe now we can try to mend some of those hurts by reconnecting over the things we have in common. If that resonates with you, go for it; if not, call someone who you know will make you feel good. Because the whole point of this nudging project is to lift our spirits. XO

52+: Connections—Someone who has been impacted by COVID-19

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For this nudge, I’m pulling out my box of greeting cards. I might send a:

  • Sympathy card to someone who has lost a loved one
  • Get Well card to someone who is recovering
  • Thank You card to a healthcare or other essential worker
  • Thinking of You card to someone who is struggling

Ecards, postcards, and text messages also will work for this. The point is to reach out and communicate “I care.”

Please share. If these nudges are inspiring you and lifting your spirits, please forward them to friends and family members and invite them to join in.

52+: Connections—Friend from a club (you were part of pre-COVID)

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Remember when we used to meet in person once a month (or week) to work on a special project or toward a common goal, to volunteer our time and talents, to learn and grow, or simply to socialize? Waaaa! Even though the groups I have been a part of have shifted to Zoom and much of our purpose is being addressed, It’s. Just. Not. The. Same.

I miss my people!

So here’s my nudge to make an extra effort to connect with someone. It might be a long-time friend, someone who I used to see on a regular basis, or it might be someone I was just starting to get to know and looked forward to getting to know better.

Our groups might include:

  • tennis buddies, weekend softball team, running group
  • service organization
  • book club
  • bible study
  • mommy & me group (even if you’re kids are all grown)
  • foodies who used to get together for dinner parties
  • drinking buddies (when I pulled up possible images for “club” for this post, I got photos for nightclubbing—this works too!)

I’m sensing that reaching someone on the phone and having an actual conversation will be the right move for me. If we struggle to get beyond “How are you?”, I plan on asking, “What do you miss most about our in-person meetings?” (And maybe: “What do you miss least?”)

If chatting on the phone is outside your comfort zone this week, here are a couple of alternatives:

  • Send a postcard: Thinking of you! I miss you and look forward to seeing you back at [name of club] as soon as we can safely be together in person again!
  • Send a text message (see above).

Karma! One friend came to mind the moment I pulled this nudge—but she beat me to it! She had seen my post introducing 52+: Connections and was inspired to invite me for a socially distanced walk. We’ve got a date inked on our calendars and I’m all warm fuzzies.

 

52+: Connections — People you see out on a walk

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The full nudge I wrote out for myself didn’t fit in my title space. It reads: “People you see out on a walk (say ‘Hello! Good morning!’ to everyone you encounter)”

I was rather disappointed when I drew this as the first nudge for this Connections series. I was hoping for something a bit grander, more playful and exciting.

But the more I thought about it, I realized it’s a perfect way to kick things off. The seed for this nudge was planted back when COVID first caught us in its grip and we masked up, gloved up, and rubbed our hands raw with sanitizer to stop the spread. It seemed obvious to me that the virus was spread either by physical touching or through the air, so it struck me as funny when I would greet people when I was out for a walk and they would look away without responding. “It’s not contagious through eye contact!” I wanted to shout.

As time went on, though, their emotional distancing became contagious, and I stopped saying anything and started avoiding eye contact. It was “easier” to keep to myself.

More recently, though, I’ve noticed how much my spirits are lifted when someone—a perfect stranger—greets me with smiling eyes and then takes the exchange to the next level of humanity by asking “How are you?” and—and this is key—waiting for my answer.

I want to be like those people.

So this week, one day while I’m out getting my exercise in the neighborhood, I’m going to greet everyone I pass. There will probably be some people who will pretend to not hear me, but I have a feeling most will respond in kind.

“In kind.” Don’t you love that phrase?

Alternatives: Not heading out for a walk this week? Here are some other ways you might complete this nudge:

  • If you’re lucky enough to get to be with coworkers, make a point during the day to greet every one. “Good morning! It’s nice to see you! That color looks amazing on you!”
  • If all you’ve got on the schedule is a grocery run, make eye contact with a few fellow shoppers and share a smile (yes, you can do that with your eyes). When you reach the cash register, ask the checker “How are you today?” and listen to their answer.
  • Home bound? No problem. Pull about a sheet of paper and colored pens (or your kids’ big box of crayons) and write “I wish you a great day!” (That feels more personal than “Have a great day!”) Decorate it with hearts / butterflies / stars and tape it to a front window for everyone to see.
  • Live in a big building? Make that sign and post it next to the mailboxes or the main entrance.

Please note: Different from previous rounds of nudges, I won’t be creating a separate follow-up post for What Happened and The Ah-Hahs. Instead, I hope you’ll share your experiences with everyone in the Comments. xo

52+: Connections

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Hello! I’ve missed you! I hope this finds you safe, healthy, and doing mostly okay.

Since wrapping up 52Nudges 2.0 last year, I’ve been thinking a lot about what to do next. I’ll let you know when I’ve figured out how 3.0 will look (stay tuned). Meanwhile, I am feeling called to do a specific, short-term Nudging project.

Backstory: When we first started sheltering-in-place, I was really good at reaching out and keeping in touch with family and friends. Somewhere around January 3, however, I hit a wall. Hard. Every time I got ready to make a call or send a catching-up email, I felt like I had nothing to say.

“We’re fine. We’ve been fine. Nothing is different.”

So I stopped. And I started to feel super-depressed and even more isolated than before. And it’s going to be a while before we’re all vaccinated and free to go about our new “normal”. How can I mix things up and create new ways to keep my spirits up? Well, I’m going to nudge myself.

Introducing 52+: Connections

If you’ve followed 52Nudges in the past, you’ll know that I love making connections, and I always include nudges that inspire me to be creative in how I keep in touch with people. For this round, I’m going to be a little more focused and intentional in just this one area of nudging.

I hope you’ll join me.

Here’s how to prepare:

  1. Gather supplies: postcards, stamps, lovely stationery, stickers, your favorite writing pen, etc.
  2. Make a list of people. My list includes names of specific friends and family members, as well as types of people (a teacher, a teenager, a friend from high school, an elderly person who lives in a retirement home, an essential worker, a friend who lost someone to COVID, a neighbor).

In this next week, I’ll type up my list and tear those names/people into strips, wad them up, and put them in my special bowl. Each Sunday, I’ll draw one and come up with a way to connect.

As always with the nudges, feel free to make your own list, follow whatever nudge I draw, or just read along for the entertainment value. Don’t worry about what you might write or say; I’ll include prompts with each to inspire us all.

I look forward to seeing you back here next Sunday, March 7.

Affectionately,

Kathleen

52+: I’d appreciate your input

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Hello again!

I hope this finds you and your loved ones safe and healthy. I hope you’re still finding ways to be creative and have fun.

As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, I’m taking a breather from blogging to mull over what to do next with 52Nudges. Among the suggestions: podcasts, another year of nudges, a book. I’m exploring these and other ideas (and I’m open to new ideas), so stay tuned.

Meanwhile, I’d love to get your input. Sometime this week, would you take a look at the old posts and let me know in the Comments here what have been some of your favorite Nudges?

  • Was there one that you found especially inspiring, motivating, or funny?
  • Was there one that changed how you perceive or do things?
  • Was there one that had a wonderfully surprising “Ah-hah” for you?

We did two full rounds of 52, so you have lots to choose from.

Thank you in advance. xoKathleen

52+: Living Life in a 52Nudges State of Mind

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How have you used 52Nudges? Have you done each nudge along with me? Picked and pursued your own? Read about my adventures purely for the entertainment value? Something my friend Amy said recently intrigued me, so I asked her to elaborate. Here’s what 52Nudges has inspired her to do.

When Amy Morrell was first furloughed from her job in mid-April, she spent some of her time helping her daughter, Rowan, adjust to virtual schooling. Otherwise, she wasn’t particularly motivated to be productive. “It was so easy to sit on the couch and play videos all day,” she said, echoing how many of us felt in those early days of COVID-19 quarantine. “It was enough for me to keep the home semi-clean.”

Then she got inspired by Nudges. Although Amy doesn’t really have a Bucket List or Nudges of her own, she took a fresh look at how she wanted to spend her relatively free time. “What the blog does is it inspires carpe diem: don’t set aside for tomorrow what you can do today, don’t wait to try something new,” she said.

Sheltering at home, then, seemed like the perfect opportunity to do things she hadn’t yet had time for, such as painting, organizing the crafts room, resuming knitting projects, cracking open kits she’d purchased online, baking and trying new foods, and learning basket weaving.

“We started with hydroponic gardening,” she said, “growing our own food, like herbs, squash, peppers, and zucchini.” With that project thriving, she turned to acting on fulfilling another dream: providing a home for a menagerie of beloved pets. Amy had pets growing up, and she and Rowan already had cats and a couple of birds. The COVID furlough provided Amy with the time and energy to expand and manage what they now call “Morrell Zoo”.

Today their zoo includes thirteen birds, butterflies, two guinea pigs (Carrot and Apple), three cats (Jenks, Nemo, and Winnie), and a foster dog (Kody). With each, Amy and Rowan have learned and experienced something, like the importance of bird diapers, how removing nests puts a stop to aggressive behavior, how baby finches hatch, and the importance of cuddling. “Sunny (a cockatiel) loves to snuggle,” Amy said.

Rowan with Sunny, the snuggle-loving cockatiel.

“It doesn’t have to be any big expense,” Amy said, giving a nod to 52Nudges rules. Finding a “cheap” hobby, though, wasn’t a priority. “We didn’t save a lot of money, but it’s good for our state of mind,” Amy said. “The birds just make me happy.”

Kody, the latest addition to the Morrell Zoo. They are fostering him for Florida Little Dog Rescue.

Amy has been back at work (from home) since early July, and Rowan is now attending 2nd grade virtually, from a safe and socially distanced space provided by her dance studio. As their zoo continues to thrive, both gals continue to pursue new interests and activities. “When I want something, I do it,” Amy said, when asked to sum up her efforts to make the most of this time. “I live my life in a 52Nudges state of mind.”

52+: On a (sometimes bumpy) journey to a new passion-fueled career

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I am always on the lookout for stories about women who have followed their passions and created new opportunities for themselves. Is there something you love doing that you’d love to turn into a career? Have people told you it’s “impossible” because it’s “not realistic” or “you’re too young/old” or…? Hmmm…. I hope Melissa’s story will inspire you to take a chance on yourself.

After completing an internship in public relations, Melissa Fulton knew she’d never use her BA in Public Communications. After completing an internship at IBM in sales support, she chose tech sales for her career and spent 13 years on that path. When her second daughter was born, she took a leave of absence that “led to another year and another year and another baby and….” Fast-forward to 2017, when she faced an emptying nest and wondered, “What is my next chapter going to be?”

As Melissa explored her options, her husband made an observation. “You’ve always loved travel, and you love organizing everyone’s trips,” he said to her. “You should check that out.” He introduced her to one of his former work colleagues, a woman who had retired from the tech sector and started a travel agency. Melissa made the call, and as soon as she got off the phone, she thought, “I totally want to do this!”

It was another year before she went online to look up “How to be a travel agent.” During that interim, she thought about what she wanted—and what she didn’t. “I wanted to travel more,” she said. “I wanted a flexible schedule to be able to attend our kids’ events. I didn’t want to sit behind a desk 9 to 5.”

She explored joining a network and starting her own business. She spoke with other women who had started travel agencies and took their experiences to heart. “You can be very independent, hang your own shingle,” she said, “but I didn’t want to take on a large investment then realize it wasn’t the right fit for me.” With a franchise, however, the parent company offered training, website hosting, contract negotiating, marketing tools, and a network of helpful colleagues who could offer advice and suggestions. “I liked that structure and support,” she said.

She and her husband bought a franchise, named it Travel By Meli (her friends’ nickname for her), and dove in.

She started with some basic training and quickly realized the work was more complicated than she had anticipated. “It’s a big world out there!” she said. “There’s so much information. I got home and thought, ‘What have I done?’”

As she looks back, she sometimes wishes she could have started off in a more organized fashion, with more training upfront versus learning as she worked. “Instead, I decided I was going to help anybody and everybody,” she said, and with word-of-mouth providing the only advertising she needed, business took off like crazy. She quickly developed a reputation for expertise in planning land-based trips to Europe and river cruises, and often worked till the wee hours of the morning. “At times, it was too much,” she said, but she now sees it was the best way to learn. “It was better than reading or taking a course,” she said. She also found her personal travel experiences gave her an edge, for example, when she planned a trip to Peru for clients. “It’s such a unique experience,” she said, and it helped that she had taken a similar trip with her family and could advise her clients on what to expect and what they would need.

Melissa in Santorini, Greece, one of her favorite places.

Then, in early March of this year, COVID hit. “I became busier cancelling than I’d ever been booking,” she said. At one point she thought she might throw in the towel and go back to the corporate world, but was emboldened by the outstanding service she received from the “wonderful” suppliers who were handling the changes. Then…people started booking and rebooking again. “By mid-July, people were more optimistic and were just so tired of being home,” she said. “I heard, ‘We need something to look forward to!’ They started booking trips into 2022, and I thought, ‘Oh, I love this!’” She remains “definitely hopeful” and trusts that “the world will be okay again some day”.

When asked what advice she would offer to someone who is trying to figure out her next chapter, she thought about her response for a few moments before speaking. “‘What makes you excited?’ is the hardest question for anyone to answer,” she said. “I’m going through this right now with my daughter. Do you work for money or to be fulfilled? Do you volunteer [to feed your passion]? I don’t know.” She confessed she struggled initially to find her own way, in part, she said, because she sometimes felt like she had lost who she was while she was so busy caring for her growing family.

Based on her own journey, she offered some suggestions. “Get together with friends and chat. Ask them ‘What do you think I’m good at?’ and listen to their answers.” She also encourages women to trust themselves and their abilities. “It doesn’t matter how old you are or if you haven’t worked in years,” she said. “You have interests, your experience, and your work ethic.” Use them.

Authenticity plus optimism is paramount. “Don’t ignore the things you like to do, your passions, and think you can’t do anything with them,” she said. “Don’t sell yourself short.”

52+: When Dreams Take Flight

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I love hearing stories about how stars align (or Nudges nudge) for the perfect outcome. They remind me to stay positive and patient, to do what I can do, leave the rest up to the Universe, and have faith.

In this instance, a number of factors came together—a passion for history, a random ad, a supportive spouse, and a prompt from an acquaintance—to help one woman identify her dream and experience it in unanticipated ways. Inspired by her story, I asked if I could share her journey and insights with 52Nudges’s readers.

Pilar Dowell is a talented graphic designer. After working 15 years in-house and 10 years as a contractor for the Walt Disney Company, she opened Seattle-based Pilar Dowell Design and spread her wings to work with a broader clientele.

On the side, she fed her curiosity for World War II history, inspired initially by her dad, who was a teacher. “I like learning,” she said, “and I gravitate toward books and movies about history, specifically about WWII.”

One day, on her way out of an airplane-themed diner near her home, she picked up a local newspaper and noticed an ad offering “Free Fly Days” through the Flying Heritage & Combat Armor Museum. Every summer, they bring out some of their collection’s vintage aircraft and invite the public to come watch them fly. Pilar decided to check it out.

On her way there, she got lost and, by chance, ended up at Historic Flight, a smaller museum, then located at the opposite side of the tarmac. The friendly people inside gave her directions to her intended destination, but she saw enough to be intrigued and thought, “I have to come back here.” She picked up some information and made plans to return for a memorial flight commemorating the 70th Anniversary of D-Day. That afternoon, Pilar picked up her youngest son early from school and headed over. “I figured Alex would learn so much more about history that day than he would in school.”

A few weeks later, she and her husband, Rob, returned to attend a different event. As they looked around, Rob talked to someone on the staff and mentioned “My wife would love to volunteer here if you need graphic design.” Her first project was creating a brochure, and she soon learned incredible opportunities came with the job. “They would reward the volunteers with flight,” Pilar explained, including tours inside the planes and short turns at the controls. “The first time they asked ‘Would you like to take a ride in Grumpy?’ I almost cried,” she said.

Pilar in the cockpit of a B-25. (Photo courtesy of Pilar Dowell.)

Grumpy is a B-25, her favorite airplane. B-25s played a pivotal role in the Doolittle “Tokyo” Raid, which took place right after Pearl Harbor. Of the almost 10,000 models that were made, there are still about 100 B-25s (B stands for “bomber”) still in existence around the world. About 45 are air-worthy, Pilar shared in an enthusiastic burst of statistics, and the rest are on display in museums. With her colleagues from Historic Flight, she got to travel to Ohio to commemorate the 75th anniversary of the Doolittle Raid. “I met the man who was the co-pilot to Jimmy Doolittle, the last surviving Doolittle Raider,” she said, adding that meeting pilots and other retired military personnel, and hearing their stories, has been especially moving for her.

In addition to brochures and posters, Pilar created items, such as T-shirts, for Historic Flight’s retail store and marketing pieces for the flight show season, which runs April through September (except for this year, due to COVID). “I had just finished work for an air show,” she said, “and was showing it to the wife of the museum’s owner. She said, ‘You really should market aviation design,’ as a branch of Pilar Dowell Design.” The suggestion sparked Pilar’s imagination, and Fly Girl Graphic Design was born. Within a short period, she got a domain, designed a logo and business card, and built and launched the website.

With targeted clients that include aviation museums, airports, and pilot associations, Fly Girl Graphic Design is more about graphic design services than sales of merchandise. “I find it’s the most fun,” she said. “For example,” she explained, “when I was hired to create a poster and T-shirt design for an air show, I got to learn about the aircraft and the history.”

Fly Girl Graphic Design has brought together Pilar’s skills, experience, and passions. For those of us looking for ways to identify and pursue new personal and/or professional adventures with purpose, she shared some insights. “There are museums where you offer to volunteer, and those people become your community. They are there for the same reasons you are,” she said. “Seek. Find what you’re interested in, then go find your people.”

52+: Pat’s craft cart (a Nudger in action)

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I love hearing from readers when a nudge has inspired them to do something new!

A couple of weeks ago, Pat wrote to tell me, “It’s entertaining to hear all the different ideas you come up with. I can’t keep up, but I love the ideas.” I celebrate that. This blog was created primarily so I would keep myself on track (and honest) with weekly challenges. If others are inspired to do the nudges with me or create their own, that’s all bonus to me.

But I have to say, I LOVE hearing your success stories. This is Pat’s. She decided to tackle cleaning up what she calls “Craft Central,” a cart that holds all sorts of crafty supplies. “My walk-in closet is half craft stuff, and then there’s under the bed,” she confessed. “I’m excited to organize it all.”

Here’s the before picture of her cart:

Pat cart before

Here’s the after:

Pat cart after

And then…here’s the after photo of her desk.

Pat desk after

“This also inspired me to work on my desk at the same time, as they kind of go hand-in-hand,” Pat wrote.

What I sense will happen next is Pat will be re-inspired to pick up and complete on old creative project or start something new. Craft Central is Pat’s happy place, and it warms my heart that 52Nudges has helped her get back to it.

Have you had a recent success with a Nudge? I’d love to hear about it. Email me with a bit of your story with photos at KathleenInk.net.