I’m always on the lookout for ways to practice Radical Self-Care, so was pleased to stumble upon this article from Real Simple. Check out “8 Simple Ways to Practice Self-Care Every Day” and see if there’s something in here you can do for yourself today or add to your bowl for a future Nudge.
When I set the “rules” for Nudges, I was very intentional. Must be something that can be done within one week. Must cost just $20 or less. Must make me uncomfortable.
That last one. Sometimes I hate that last one.
Case in point: For some time now I have been working on upgrading the 52Nudges website. Things were fine, but they could be so much better. Making things better takes time, money, learning, and working way outside my quite comfortable areas of expertise, so it took my being nudged by some good people—among them Lyndsey Woods, Pilar Dowell, Erin Bayer—to take the painful next steps. There have been days when I have wanted to chuck the whole project into the trash bin and move on to projects that were easier and more fun.
And then I remind myself that facing and moving through the uncomfortableness to a better life is the whole point of 52Nudges. By challenging myself and taking risks, I am growing. This is good!
So I trudge onward, knowing I will still run into obstacles that make me bang my forehead on my desk, curse the day I decided be a solo creative-entrepreneur, and cry into my coffee. I will make mistakes and screw things up, till I figure out how to fix them. I will remind myself to ask for help. I will feel so dang good when it’s done.
I don’t yet have a launch date to announce, but here’s a sneak peek of what’s coming:
I look forward to sharing the new and improved 52Nudges website with you, and I hope it—and all of this journey—inspires you to keep nudging yourself to experience a full and beautiful life.
I’ve already forgotten the book or article that introduced “Radical Decency” to me, but the message stuck. As we head into this holiday weekend, I am going to make an extra effort to reach out to someone. Maybe it’s someone I know who is grieving a recent loss or who will be especially lonely. Maybe it’s someone with whom I have a challenging relationship, a relationship that needs mending. After I wrap up the traditional calls to family members and close friends, I’m going to nudge myself to make one more, even if all I get to do is leave a message that says “I’m thinking of you.” I hope you’ll do the same.
I wish you a Merry Everything and Happy Always! xoKathleen
nudge: something that pushes me out of my comfort zone, an experience that helps me live my best life, a task that can be completed in one week
Well, two out of three! 😉
This week I completed my biggest nudge ever when I uploaded my book to Amazon. Years in the making (because I had to live my story before I could tell it), The Mother of All Dilemmas tells how I explored the possibility of becoming a single mother and how I came to fully embrace the truth that all women have value—even childless me!
“Well-articulated…with painstaking honesty and emotional generosity.”
—Jody Day, psychotherapist, author of Living the “Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children”, and founder of Gateway Women
As a reader of the 52Nudges blog, you know some of my story. I hope you’ll pick up the book to learn more and be inspired to live your own truths. Maybe one day I’ll have the privilege of reading your story.
The Mother of All Dilemmas is available for preorder on Kindle here. Paperback will be available July 22.
Well, apparently my brain took full advantage of the holiday weekend and I completely forgot to post this week’s nudge! Here you go:
As our world re-opens (fingers crossed), I’m starting to ease back out, accepting invitations to share meals, go on walks, and reconnect in person (hallelujah!) with friends and family members. In the process, I’ve discovered I’m not eager to cram my schedule full of activities. Part of me wants to hang on to some of the quiet I’ve enjoyed over the past year. If I look even deeper, I recognize I also don’t want to waste time at events I “should” do. I am prioritizing how and with whom I spend my precious days.
I have a handful of people in mind for this nudge. Maybe your most-missed person lives nearby and this is the week you call them up and plan a long-overdue play date. Maybe they live far, far away, so you schedule a long phone call instead. Or maybe…maybe your person is you, and this is the week you make time to sit quietly and listen to your own heart.
Since we are getting into our new “normal,” I feel it’s time to wrap up this special session of 52Nudges. I hope it has been a fun and rewarding experience for you, and I hope you’ll continue reaching out to the people in your life in meaningful ways.
Over the summer months I’ll be thinking about the next round of nudges (3.0?), and I hope to see you back here in the fall.
Thank you for doing this with me!
Affectionately, Kathleen
During a recent decluttering spree, I uncovered a very old box of onion skin paper. Lightweight and almost transparent, I used this back in the day to send air mail letters. Anyone else remember this stuff?
I tossed the paper, but the impulse to reconnect with friends who live far, far away inspired this nudge. I may look at our holiday card list and choose someone with whom I exchange family photos just once a year. Or maybe I’ll scroll through old posts on social media looking for someone who’s clicked “Like” a lot, but we haven’t so much as shared comments.
In an email (or maybe a letter, because international postage really isn’t that expensive), I might:
I hope you enjoy this nudge. Let’s make our world a little bit smaller this week.
A handwritten note feels like the way to go for me on this nudge, though an email, phone call, or message through Facebook may work for you. Whichever method you use to connect this week, this is our chance to say “Thank you!” to a teacher or coach.
This person may be someone from your youth or someone who is actively teaching you now, like a business coach. Or it may be someone who isn’t a professional, but a friend who has taught you about Life. (And if you’re a parent, I encourage you to think about appreciating one of the people who has been going to extraordinary lengths this past year for your child.)
Here are ways we might acknowledge them. “Thank you for…”:
I’m excited about this nudge. I have a feeling all the positive energy we’re going to create will have amazing ripple effects. 🙂
Dear Ones, this isn’t an actual nudge, just something I experienced recently and want to share.
When I was in my teens, I learned that the best thing to say to someone who is grieving is “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Depending on the circumstances, I might add a few words about how special the person was who passed, but I know from being at the receiving end that when someone tries too hard to say more—especially when they try to “fix” me—it backfires. Simple is best.
Several weeks ago, a family member I was close to passed away suddenly. I called a few friends to share the news, and I appreciated the support I received through cards and calls. One in particular changed everything for me.
“Tell me about your uncle,” my friend Ann said.
I was stunned for a moment. I had been so busy grieving my loss, supporting other family members, and trying desperately to keep my focus on big work projects while the world seemed to spin around me, that I hadn’t allowed myself to acknowledge how grateful I was for having loved and been loved by him.
I shared a few stories and reflections, illustrating the kind of man he was and the role he’d played in my life. And Ann simply listened.
Since then, I’ve had a couple of opportunities to pay this forward with friends who have experienced big losses, and considering how this past year has gone, I know we’ll have many more opportunities ahead. When you next connect with someone who is hurting, I hope you’ll remember this. Ann’s small prompt was a huge gift to me.
I’m good about sending birthday cards, ecards, and gifts to people I love. But when I recently updated my reminders list, I realized there are a number of people I connect with just one day a year. Here’s my nudge to make a deeper connection.
I’m in the mood to break out my pretty wax seals (see photo), so I’m leaning toward sending a newsy letter with lots of questions I hope will prompt a reply. Here are some things I might ask:
Whether you write or call, make the effort to reach out on a day other than their birthday—and send your regular greetings that day! Think of this nudge as a bonus gift for both of you.
P.S. If you don’t already have reminders in your calendar for upcoming birthdays, maybe this is the week you set it up. While you’re at it, stock up on cards or set up an online account for ecards.
First responders, frontliners, essential workers…. While I’m putting care packages together to support my neighbors who are fighting COVID here at home, I don’t want to forget the many men and women who are serving our country abroad. Here’s my nudge to say, again, “Thank you for your service and sacrifice.”
If you don’t know someone currently in the armed services, check out these three websites (note: these are for U.S. servicepeople):
Send a note, or send some requested items, if you’re able. Be sure to read through the instructions carefully.