Tag Archives: 52Nudges

Nudging: Listen to two old CDs

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Backstory: Because I work from an office in our home and do little driving, the same six CDs have been in my car for…two years? Longer? Sheesh, that’s embarrassing. And pretty much the only time I listen to music at home is while I’m prepping and cooking dinner. You’d think I could change up my playlist periodically, but my reality (some might call it my “rut”) is that the soundtrack to Hamilton! is on constant rotation. Not a bad choice, but the neighbors are probably sick of hearing me bellow out “Here comes the General—RISE UP!” at 7:34 pm every single night. (“An-ge-li-caaa…Ee-liii-za…AND PEGGY!”)

I don’t know what I thought I’d learn from this Nudge. I suppose it’s another step in the clearing out process to re-evaluate treasures and determine whether they are to be saved, tossed, or shared. Or maybe I just need to remember the pleasures of listening to really great music more often.

Nudging: Move something (i.e., a piece of furniture)

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Backstory: This one is easy. For the past several years, my desk has faced a wall that displays an outline made up of sticky notes for a book that I’m on track to finish this fall. I’ve stared at this wall, gained inspiration from it, been frustrated by it. As this Big Project comes to a close, I’m ready to change my perspective. I’m thinking I’ll turn the desk 45 degrees so that it will now face the window and look out onto our backyard. This will be the first small step toward the larger project of (finally) redecorating this room with paint, curtains, and a rug in warm colors. I’m excited to do this.

Nudged: Be early for everything

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Backstory: I laughed out loud when I pulled this, which I did late in the afternoon, just after I made the final decision to pass on the first draw. And yes, I’m well aware that in the process I was late getting this post out. Classic!

Here’s what happened: I had plans to meet a girlfriend for a movie matinee, and I had offered to pick her up. My plan was to be out the door early, so I’d get to her place a little early. But the phone rang and the dishwasher wasn’t quite done and I completely forgot to post this Nudge after I drew it and…. I dashed out the door, raced over to her house, and pulled up 1 stinking minute after planned.

Perfect time to work on being early for everything.

I didn’t used to be like this. But as I’ve gotten older, my responsibilities have expanded, and there’s always something I need to do. I hate the constant race with the clock. Not only does my running behind make me feel awful about disrespecting friends (their time is valuable too), but it adds so much unnecessary stress to my life.

So this week, I’m flipping the early switch back on. Let’s do this!

What Happened: What is “everything”? Early to bed, early to rise? Do I need to deliver jobs ahead of deadlines? Or is it just appointments, meetings, and events? Sounds a little bit like I’m looking for a loophole, doesn’t it? Sheesh. I shut that down and jumped in.

On Monday, I had a car service appointment scheduled for 7 am. I arrived about 10 minutes early, and there was, for a change, no waiting. Nice.

On Tuesday, my husband was out at a work event, so I invited a girlfriend over for dinner. My plan was to have everything done when she arrived so that we could sit down and enjoy a relaxing meal. But that last-minute email and one last call…. Good intentions out the door! The funny thing was, I actually think it was more relaxed having her help in the kitchen. The meal was simple and quick, but it did need some prep. Had I done every last thing, she would have felt more like a guest. A sense of formality was eradicated in my unpreparedness, which set the tone for the evening being more about two friends doing something together versus my doing something for her.

I had no success with the “early to bed” part, so it’s something I may want to try again in the 52Nudges experiment. However, I was consistently early getting to my desk in the mornings, being prepped to tackle both work and home to do lists, and being prepared and connected ahead of the start times for conference calls and interviews. Oh, and there was one surprise party in the mix. I was definitely early to arrive for that one!

The Ah-Ha: This Nudge was a small and impactful step. I was amazed at how my stress level was lowered, and I’ll take whatever relief I can get in that department.

But the most interesting ah-hah from this week’s Nudge was something that at first glance is unrelated. It came out of the dinner with my friend. I can’t quite see myself including guests in the prep of every meal, but…as I think back on favorite gatherings over the years, especially big family holiday gatherings, my memories include the camaraderie in the kitchen. The sharing of stories, the passing down of techniques and tips to new generations of cooks, the spontaneous hugs and smiles, and the pure joy of just being together. As a childless woman who doesn’t get to host the major holiday gatherings for extended family, I’ve missed out on this. I’d like to work more of it into my life. I’ve toyed with the idea of creating a supper club, one in which a small group of friends tries out new recipes, learns from each other, then sits down to enjoy the fruits of our labors together. Maybe this is the year I start it.

Or maybe the subtle shift I make from this is about doing less for others and more with others. Hmmm….

 

 

 

Nudging: Be early for everything

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PASS #2: When I started my 52Nudges project, I allowed myself four passes—for any reason. This week my first draw was “Try a new recipe.” This is something I do regularly, it’s fairly easy for me, and I just wasn’t feeling it. I wanted something “bigger.” So back in the bowl went this Nudge, for another week. 

Backstory: I laughed out loud when I pulled this, which I did late in the afternoon, just after I made the final decision to pass on the first draw. And yes, I’m well aware that in the process I was late getting this post out. Classic!

Here’s what happened: I had plans to meet a girlfriend for a movie matinee, and I had offered to pick her up. My plan was to be out the door early, so I’d get to her place a little early. But the phone rang and the dishwasher wasn’t quite done and I completely forgot to post this Nudge after I drew it and…. I dashed out the door, raced over to her house, and pulled up 1 stinking minute after planned.

Perfect time to work on being early for everything.

I didn’t used to be like this. But as I’ve gotten older, my responsibilities have expanded, and there’s always something I need to do. I hate the constant race with the clock. Not only does my running behind make me feel awful about disrespecting friends (their time is valuable too), but it adds so much unnecessary stress to my life.

So this week, I’m flipping the early switch back on. Let’s do this!

 

Nudged: Try a new machine/exercise at the gym

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Backstory: Upon pulling this week’s Nudge, my first thought was, “Well, that’s dumb. Who came up with this gem?” I mean, really. How life-changing can this really be?

But if there’s one big lesson I’ve learned on this 52Nudge’s journey so far, it’s that even the smallest steps can make a big impact. Maybe, just by wandering to a different section of my gym, I’ll meet someone new. Maybe this person has an interesting story or works in a field that interests me or becomes one of my favorite gym-rat pals. Or maybe instead of the same loop Louie the dog and I walk every week, we try a new path or street or park and discover a garden that takes my breath away. Hmmm…. I’m eager to see what this Nudge reveals.

What Happened: This Nudge was a flat-out dud. No path-altering ah-hah, no “chance” encounter with a spirit guide, no breaking out of a rut and improving life as I’ve known it.

Sure, I tried a new machine. It was one of those things where you sit and pedal like on a stationary bicycle, but with your arms. It was kinda cool. It was sorta different. It was totally boring.

This happened early in the week and I figured I still had time to mine some gold from this week’s Nudge, so I picked up a class schedule on my way out of the gym that morning. Zumba. I’ve been hearing good things about this from friends. It’s supposed to be really fun, and I have been meaning to try it out.

But the classes took place mostly in the middle of my workday, and I know myself better than to try to exercise at dinnertime, and so I didn’t go. Pfft.

Me, when “exercise” meant “playing” and chubby cheeks were considered cute.

The Ah-Ha: Well, if this Nudging thing was BRILLIANT every week, you’d start to suspect I was making stuff up, right? I’m not. I’m real. This is real. Sometimes Life is just what happens.

What’s next on the Nudges list?

 

P.S. My little bowl of Nudges is in need of replenishment. Have you been doing some of your own? I’d love it if you’d inspire me/us with some of your ideas.

Nudging: Try a new machine/exercise at the gym

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Backstory: Upon pulling this week’s Nudge, my first thought was, “Well, that’s dumb. Who came up with this gem?” I mean, really. How life-changing can this really be?

But if there’s one big lesson I’ve learned on this 52Nudge’s journey so far, it’s that even the smallest steps can make a big impact. Maybe, just by wandering to a different section of my gym, I’ll meet someone new. Maybe this person has an interesting story or works in a field that interests me or becomes one of my favorite gym-rat pals. Or maybe instead of the same loop Louie the dog and I walk every week, we try a new path or street or park and discover a garden that takes my breath away. Hmmm…. I’m eager to see what this Nudge reveals.

Nudged: Visit a new market (i.e., Whole Foods, specialty)

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Backstory: A few weeks ago my husband and I tried out a sushi restaurant that just opened up in the neighborhood. At the table next to us, a dad ordered a table full of items for his two girls, who looked to be about five and two years old. No one complained or whined or insisted she was no longer eating things that were green (or raw or gooey). The two-year-old gobbled up salmon roe like they were jelly beans. It was amazing to watch—so inspiring! When I was growing up, I wouldn’t touch fish unless it was smothered in breadcrumbs and deep fried. And (and this is a tad embarrassing) I didn’t have my first sushi until I was in my 30s. Even now, I order the same things pretty much every time we go out.

Ruts. If I’m honest with myself, I have too many. I need to shake up my routines and expand my experiences. So for this week’s Nudge, I am going to check out a store that is new to me and wander for inspiration. Maybe I’ll go to a spice shop. Maybe I’ll pop into a bakery that creatively blends traditional flavors with contemporary culinary tricks. Or maybe I’ll just go to the big, beautiful, brand-new Whole Foods that’s nearby and see what’s in season.

What looks intriguing to you this week?

What Happened: My first thought was to visit our local farmers’ market, but it’s only held on Sunday mornings, and we almost always have something else to do at that time (see family or friends, go for a bike ride, sleep in). I also didn’t want to take my chances of putting this Nudge off all week and screwing it up (see Nudged: Wander an expensive store). My second pick was a decades-old produce market neighbors have raved about. Apparently it’s like an every-day farmers’ market, and generations of my friends’ families have made it their go-to shop for local fruits and veggies. Perfect!

But as my darling husband and I discussed the Nudge, he suggested I go way outside my comfort zone. Way, waaaaay outside.

“What about the Chinese market you always walk past?” he asked.

“But I wouldn’t know what anything was.”

“Exactly. You’d have to ask, How do you make this? What’s it good in?”

Hmmm…. Wise man, my guy.

So, while out and about walking errands in our neighborhood, between picking up a prescription at Target and returning books to the library, I paused at the Chinese market. Out front I spotted pineapples and ginger roots in bins. I wasn’t completely lost. Encouraged, I took a deep breath and stepped inside.

It was a little like stepping through a portal to another country. The signs were all written in Chinese, and I recognized very little of the packaged goods. Even the packages that had English translations were baffling. What in the heck is a “three tooth fish”?

Salted Dried Three Tooth Fish

Live frogs–for real

But the fun began with the live stuff. Big tanks with crabs and lobsters and fish, and a trash can-sized barrel of…What is that?…Are they moving?…Holy Toledo, that one just blinked!…live frogs, each about the size of my husband’s fist.

I was so not buying a live frog.

Feeling slightly freaked out, I made my way around to the front of the shop and spotted a bin of something that looked like mini cucumbers. For $1.99/lb., I could risk it. I took my one tiny item to the checkout counter, where the woman at the register greeted me with a long stream of I have no idea what. I smiled like an idiot and mumbled “Thank you,” hoping that was an appropriate response to what she had said to me.

That night I chopped up my mystery item and was relieved to discover it was, in fact, some kind of cucumber. I had planned to take a photo so you could see it, but it was so delicious, we ate it before it hit the plates.

Delicious cucumber things

The Ah-Hahs: I’ve daydreamed about, and my husband and I have even discussed, the possibility of living/working in a foreign country for a period of time, maybe three months, maybe a year. While my job can be done remotely anywhere, his does not translate. Maybe we could do it if we won big in the lottery and didn’t have to work. It could happen.

But probably the biggest hindrance is neither of us in bilingual. I’d like to think we could, with time and effort, learn the basics of a language here and be able to pick up idioms once we established a residency, but geez, it would be hard. Just getting around, learning the customs and courtesies, taking care of things like banking and driving, and, well, finding food, would all be exhausting. I imagine myself repeating my encounter with the woman at this market’s counter, of being overwhelmed by the selection of unfamiliar foods, of having her talk to me in a steady stream of what sounds to me like gibberish, and standing there like an ugly American tourist who has made no effort to even try to be respectful. This could certainly happen outside our borders, because, heck, I just had it happen a few blocks from home.

Still no clue what this is

Or would it be exhilarating? Are we too old and set in our ways to pursue a grand adventure? I’m thinking maybe, which strikes me as a little sad, but also a little realistic. I’m thinking it might be enough to broaden our Bucket List of places we want to visit, then be sure we line up some savvy English-speaking guides. Or maybe we start by asking around about authentic restaurants in town. Certainly we have an abundance of choices in cosmopolitan San Francisco.

Inspired, I did a quick google search for “best ethnic restaurants in San Francisco.” Jackpot! I found this article from two years ago.

Afghanistan, Chile, Iceland. Iceland! Something like 70 countries are represented. The article ends with “Forget packing your bags. The adventures offered at these Bay Area eateries require only a love for food and a willingness to try new things.”

Guess what’s going on my List for future Nudges?

Nudging: Visit a new market (i.e., Whole Foods, specialty)

2 Replies

Backstory: A few weeks ago my husband and I tried out a sushi restaurant that just opened up in the neighborhood. At the table next to us, a dad ordered a table full of items for his two girls, who looked to be about five and two years old. No one complained or whined or insisted she was no longer eating things that were green (or raw or gooey). The two-year-old gobbled up salmon roe like they were jelly beans. It was amazing to watch—so inspiring! When I was growing up, I wouldn’t touch fish unless it was smothered in breadcrumbs and deep fried. And (and this is a tad embarrassing) I didn’t have my first sushi until I was in my 30s. Even now, I order the same things pretty much every time we go out.

Ruts. If I’m honest with myself, I have too many. I need to shake up my routines and expand my experiences. So for this week’s Nudge, I am going to check out a store that is new to me and wander for inspiration. Maybe I’ll go to a spice shop. Maybe I’ll pop into a bakery that creatively blends traditional flavors with contemporary culinary tricks. Or maybe I’ll just go to the big, beautiful, brand-new Whole Foods that’s nearby and see what’s in season.

What looks intriguing to you this week?

Nudged: Take a long hot bath

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Backstory: I was born and raised in Southern California, which means, in addition to being spoiled by great local produce and year-round mild weather, I learned how to conserve water around the same time I learned to walk. Don’t let the faucet run while you brush your teeth, wash the car using the bucket not the hose, take short showers. Those practices and more are now, in my fifth decade, firmly habits.

Which is in part why allow myself a long, hot bath maybe one time a year. Usually this happens if I take vacation time around the Christmas holiday, when I have the time to indulge in some self-care.

Did you read that sentence? “allow…if I take vacation…indulge” Geez. Maybe I can ease up a bit and “treat” myself this week.

P.S. I know some of you are reading this and thinking “A hot bath? In summer?!” Yeah, I get it. You live somewhere where the thermostat hits 80 or 90 or 100+ this time of year, while I live in San Francisco. In the fog bank. While you’re hanging out in shorts and flip flops, I’m huddled in front of a space heater wearing two sweaters and socks. It’s cold here.

But like with every other Nudge I draw, you are not required to do exactly the same. Pick something like this that will help you follow along. What would be an indulgence or treat for you? Maybe you spend the day with the A/C cranked up to full power (utility bills be damned). Or maybe you splurge and load up the freezer with the very best ice creams and gelatos money can buy. Or maybe you decide this week you’re going to take a day off work (gasp!), and drive to some place cooler, just…for…fun. I hope you’ll share in Comments what you do.

What Happened: I put this off all week. There just wasn’t time. I had things to do. Blah blah bladdity blah. Saturday night rolled around, and I found myself grumbling about how I had to do my Nudge. Poor little me. But then I did it. I filled the tub, added some aromatherapy bubble bath that was hidden behind the cleaning supplies in the cabinet (I don’t even know where this came from), and eased myself in. Ahhhhh….

Deepening breaths, easing muscles, quieting brain. I just soaked. I added a little more hot water, and I soaked some more. And then I read for a bit, and then I soaked some more. It was divine.

The Ah-Ha: I forget how good this is for me. I work my poor body so hard, from household chores to sessions at the gym, yet I am rarely good about the recovery. Was this Nudge an indulgence? I suppose. Certainly someone intent on conserving our precious water would argue that (and my So Cal Drought Guilt certainly kicked in). But I also think it’s occasionally necessary and good for me, for it got me to STOP. Most days I hit the ground running—and I keep running till I collapse back into bed—so it was almost shocking to come to a complete stop, to rest mind, body, and spirit.

There I go again: it’s “shocking” when I take care of myself.

I’m paying attention…and I’m making some changes.

Nudging: Take a long hot bath

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Backstory: I was born and raised in Southern California, which means, in addition to being spoiled by great local produce and year-round mild weather, I learned how to conserve water around the same time I learned to walk. Don’t let the faucet run while you brush your teeth, wash the car using the bucket not the hose, take short showers. Those practices and more are now, in my fifth decade, firmly habits.

Which is in part why allow myself a long, hot bath maybe one time a year. Usually this happens if I take vacation time around the Christmas holiday, when I have the time to indulge in some self-care.

Did you read that sentence? “allow…if I take vacation…indulge” Geez. Maybe I can ease up a bit and “treat” myself this week.

P.S. I know some of you are reading this and thinking “A hot bath? In summer?!” Yeah, I get it. You live somewhere where the thermostat hits 80 or 90 or 100+ this time of year, while I live in San Francisco. In the fog bank. While you’re hanging out in shorts and flip flops, I’m huddled in front of a space heater wearing two sweaters and socks. It’s cold here.

But like with every other Nudge I draw, you are not required to do exactly the same. Pick something like this that will help you follow along. What would be an indulgence or treat for you? Maybe you spend the day with the A/C cranked up to full power (utility bills be damned). Or maybe you splurge and load up the freezer with the very best ice creams and gelatos money can buy. Or maybe you decide this week you’re going to take a day off work (gasp!), and drive to some place cooler, just…for…fun. I hope you’ll share in Comments what you do.