Tag Archives: risk

Nudged: Do a “Fairy Deed”

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Backstory: This is one of my favorite things to do. Some people call it a “Random Act of Kindness,” and I can’t recall why I started calling it a “Fairy Deed”. Maybe because the idea started out as something that I did under the cover of darkness, while the recipient was sleeping, much like the Tooth Fairy delivers her presents.

I have been doing these deeds for years, sometimes mailing lottery tickets to a selection of friends or delivering a basket of lemons and small bag of sugar to someone I knew was going through a rough time (encouraging her to turn those lemons—especially the figurative ones—into lemonade). Other times I have paid for the coffee or parking fee for the stranger behind me in line, anything that might brighten someone’s day. The deed does not need it be expensive or grand, but the key, for me, is that it must be anonymous. That is what makes it so much fun.

Plus, I think about how much I love a surprise and how infrequently I get them. When was the last time I received a package that I hadn’t ordered myself? When was the last time I got flowers or a gift for no particular reason? When was the last time I was delighted by a random act of kindness? Here’s my chance to do that for someone else.

What Happened: All week long I thought about who I might select as the recipient of my Fairy Deed. Since the key is to be anonymous, I ruled out friends who might see this post and those who know me well enough that they would immediately suspect me.

I also thought about what I might do. Sadly, because we now worry about acts of terrorism, I ruled out sending an unsigned letter or package. I thought of sending a bouquet to a work colleague with a silly note signed “Anonymous”, but worried she might think she’d attracted a stalker. What a sorry world we live in that we have to consider these concerns!

Finally, I decided to focus on an elderly neighbor, Mrs. W., who is housebound. Our lilac tree is in bloom, so I clipped a few branches, wrapped them up, and hoped this small offering might bring her some cheer.

With my heart beating in my chest, I started out the front door, then stopped myself as another neighbor pulled into his driveway. I raised a hand in greeting, then pretended to pick up a newspaper off the porch. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him head up his steps, and I heard his door click shut. Mission back on. Like a thief in the night, I made my way down the street, only to spot a couple I didn’t know heading toward me. Dang it! I hid the flowers behind my back and made an abrupt left into our side yard as if I were, oh, I don’t know, inspecting the progress of the weeds. Geez! Once they’d passed, I looked left-right-left, then dashed across the street. Hoping Mrs. W. wasn’t looking out her front window, I involuntarily crouched down a bit—’cause that wouldn’t make me look suspicious! Like a grown-up Ding-Dong Ditcher, I crept up the steps, gently placed the bouquet on her doorstep, snapped a photo, and sprinted back toward home.

Safely back in my living room, I had to laugh at myself. I felt like a total goof, but a happy one. I peered through my front window to see if I’d missed any witnesses, and was a little disappointed that my view of Mrs. W.’s porch was obstructed. I’m sure one of her caretakers will find the flowers, and I hope they give Mrs. W. even a portion of the pleasure my deed has brought me.

The Ah-Hah: There are all sorts of ways to get a boost of adrenaline. Most are not healthy, but I think this Fairy Deed business is. And it’s legal! The cost, too, was minimal: a sheet of wrapping paper, a bit of twine, flowers from the garden. The joy it gave me, meanwhile, was priceless.

Nudged: Break a rule

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Backstory: I used to be a risk-taker. I used to thrive on taking leaps of faith without a net. But lately, as in the past several years, things have gotten too comfortable. I had gotten complacent. It was time to shake things up. So, inspired by something I’d read or heard (I wish I could remember where it came from), I decided one week to break a rule. Not break a law, just push myself, do or think outside the box, do something I “shouldn’t.”

What Happened: I didn’t know what the situation might be—something in my work, something in my private life—but I knew if I stayed open, the opportunity would come.

That week, after an especially disappointing conversation with a long-time client, I took a look at some online job listings. I wasn’t really looking for a new job, but I was curious about what was out there.

Then one, at a respected and growing magazine, caught my eye. I had all the skills and experience they were seeking, and it was a position that would challenge and interest me. I was perfect for it, except…it was based in a nearby city and one of the requirements was that I live there. Oh, well, I thought.

But wait….

The rules say I can’t apply for this job because I’m not right for it. But what if I’m right enough?

Instead of replying through the job posting site, I wrote an email directly to the editor detailing my experience and interest in, perhaps, doing some freelance work for her. In the subject line I wrote: “I am not a candidate for your job listing.” And… Send.

Within a few minutes, I had a personal reply from her. We scheduled a time to meet and talk about how we might work together. As of this posting, that meeting has yet to happen, and I’m hopeful that it will in the near future. But what’s magical about this experience is what it inspired in me. I felt giddy about the risk that I took and the response I got. I was motivated to look for other ways I might “break” rules, and I was inspired to create a sort of program that would help me push myself in new ways and embrace change.

The Ah-Hah: 52Nudges was born.

Kathleen Woods

Why 52Nudges?

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Kathleen WoodsIt was the Monday after Thanksgiving, my first day back in the office after the long holiday weekend. I opened up an email that alerted me to the potentially devastating blows the proposed tax bill would inflict upon my 18-year-old business. Let me rephrase: The colleague who forwarded the information indicated those changes would essentially shut down the business I had created from nothing and nurtured successfully for almost two decades.

After calls to my tax guy and financial consultants (who counseled me to wait it out a bit), I braced myself for what should have been curled-up-in-bed panic. But I didn’t feel panicky. I felt excited. Excited about who I might meet, where a conversation might lead, what the next chapter of my life might reveal.

For if I was honest with myself, I had been “tired” for a long time. Tired of the battles I waged that had little to do with the work I loved doing and more to do with running a self-employed business, tired of feeling constantly distracted and discouraged by all the “noise” in the news, tired of feeling passion-less and direction-less.

This is not to say that my life wasn’t good: I had an amazing community of friends, my health, a career and long-time clients that I loved, a home, a dog, and a wonderful husband. This didn’t feel like a mid-life crisis or a crisis of faith. Rather, I felt a strong calling to get back to what’s authentic for me. I’d been comfortable and complacent too long, and that was not a happy place for me. In the past, I thrived when I took leaps of faith and jumped without a net; at my core, I am a risk-taker. Not a jump-out-of-an-airplane kinda gal, but someone who tackled life’s challenges with outside-the-box creativity. It was time for me to nudge myself out of my little nest and do…I didn’t know what.

I searched for some kind of book, class, or program that would allow me to explore and expand, that would challenge me to embrace change. I ended up creating my own, with a variety of tasks that inspire creativity, push me out of my comfort zone (they should be uncomfortable), shake me out of routines, force me to do some self-care (I suck at this, as I almost always put others’ needs first), and have fun doing it.

Here are my “rules”:

  • Create a list of 52+ tasks. Cut them into strips, scrunch them into wads, put them into a bowl.
  • Every Sunday, for 52 weeks, pull a new challenge from the bowl, to be completed in the coming week.
  • I can pass and re-draw only 4 times (and I’ll report in, so you can keep me honest).
  • To the best of my ability, tackle the chosen challenge, and nudge myself.
  • Take note of what I experienced and what I learned.

I kicked it off with:

Break a rule.

What I did and what I learned about myself are written up in the first post, so I’ll let you read it on your own.

Then, if you feel so moved, I’d love to have you join me. Follow along and add your observations in Comments, join me each week in attempting the chosen task, create your own list and work concurrently, or just pop in every so often to see how I’m doing.

It’s all good. Let’s do this.