Author Archives: Kathleen Guthrie Woods

Nudged: Pre-dinner drinks outside

Backstory: I love eating outside: a picnic in the park, dinner under the stars, morning tea on the front porch. When I lived in Southern California, all three meals might be enjoyed at my little bistro table in the front yard, and in the summers I hosted the occasional dinner party under my flowering crepe myrtle tree. Bliss. Now that I live in San Francisco, the colder weather makes this less appealing, and I’ve missed it.

Also, when I’ve traveled in Europe, I’ve appreciated the ritual of transition between working hours and the dinner hour. Some of my favorite meals in France were preceded by a glass of wine, good bread, and bowls of olives and goat cheese, plus light conversation. Too often at home I go straight from the stress at my desk to the scramble of dinner prep, to scarfing down dinner, to collapsing into bed.

There has to be a better way.

What Happened: Naturally, I drew this challenge on a particularly cold and gloomy week, so forget taking in a dazzling sunset. It was also a week when my husband worked some long and late hours. I put it off, hoping circumstances would be more favorable, but at some point I just had to bite the bullet and get it done.

I poured some good wine, opened a can of black olives, and set everything on a pretty silver tray. Bundled up in a thick scarf and down parka, I made my way to the front door. My husband was still at work, so it was just me this time. I sat on the front step, sipped some wine, and…watched the storm clouds go by. When was the last time I watched the clouds? I honestly can’t remember, but easily 10 years ago. How sad is that? I felt myself taking longer and deeper breaths, slipping into almost a meditative state as I released the tensions of a full day of work. I resisted the urge to check text messages, although on another occasion this would be the perfect time for a brief catching-up call with a friend. Or better yet, I could invite a local friend to join me. Just 15 minutes did the trick. After his own very stressful workday, my darling husband was greeted by a glass of wine, a bowl of olives, and, best of all, a calm wife who set the tone for his evening.

The Ah-Hah: I want to do this more regularly. On dark, cold nights, a candle (or several) would be a nice addition to make my porch a cozier refuge. I’d also like to try this in the morning (sans alcohol, of course), to watch the sunrise and begin my day with calm. It’s not a big production, it doesn’t take a lot of time, but I can feel a big positive impact.

Nudging: Pre-dinner drinks outside

Backstory: I love eating outside: a picnic in the park, dinner under the stars, morning tea on the front porch. When I lived in Southern California, all three meals might be enjoyed outside at my little bistro table, and in the summers I hosted the occasional dinner party under my flowering crepe myrtle tree. Bliss. Now that I live in San Francisco, the colder weather makes this less appealing, and I’ve missed it.

Also, when I’ve traveled in Europe, I’ve appreciated the ritual of transition between working hours and the dinner hour. Some of my favorite meals in France were preceded by a glass of wine, good bread, and bowls of olives and goat cheese, plus light conversation. Too often at home I go straight from the stress at my desk to the scramble of dinner prep, to scarfing down dinner, to collapsing into bed.

There has to be a better way.

Nudged: Break a rule

Backstory: I used to be a risk-taker. I used to thrive on taking leaps of faith without a net. But lately, as in the past several years, things have gotten too comfortable. I had gotten complacent. It was time to shake things up. So, inspired by something I’d read or heard (I wish I could remember where it came from), I decided one week to break a rule. Not break a law, just push myself, do or think outside the box, do something I “shouldn’t.”

What Happened: I didn’t know what the situation might be—something in my work, something in my private life—but I knew if I stayed open, the opportunity would come.

That week, after an especially disappointing conversation with a long-time client, I took a look at some online job listings. I wasn’t really looking for a new job, but I was curious about what was out there.

Then one, at a respected and growing magazine, caught my eye. I had all the skills and experience they were seeking, and it was a position that would challenge and interest me. I was perfect for it, except…it was based in a nearby city and one of the requirements was that I live there. Oh, well, I thought.

But wait….

The rules say I can’t apply for this job because I’m not right for it. But what if I’m right enough?

Instead of replying through the job posting site, I wrote an email directly to the editor detailing my experience and interest in, perhaps, doing some freelance work for her. In the subject line I wrote: “I am not a candidate for your job listing.” And… Send.

Within a few minutes, I had a personal reply from her. We scheduled a time to meet and talk about how we might work together. As of this posting, that meeting has yet to happen, and I’m hopeful that it will in the near future. But what’s magical about this experience is what it inspired in me. I felt giddy about the risk that I took and the response I got. I was motivated to look for other ways I might “break” rules, and I was inspired to create a sort of program that would help me push myself in new ways and embrace change.

The Ah-Hah: 52Nudges was born.

The List

It started with “Break a Rule.”

From there, I pulled ideas from things I loved doing as a child, creative endeavors, physical challenges, self-care, to-dos that have been on my list for ages, and “tasks” that simply sounded like fun. I started out with more than 52, so there would always be options, and I may add as I go along.

Feel free to use this list—or use it as inspiration to create your own.

  • Break a rule
  • Drive a new street
  • Try a new cocktail
  • Invite a book clubber to tea
  • Go through one bookshelf
  • Visit a new-to-me bakery
  • Visit a new-to-me book shop
  • Have pre-dinner drinks outside
  • Be early for everything
  • Buy a lottery ticket
  • Buy a new houseplant
  • Buy flowers for office
  • Call someone I haven’t spoken to in 6+ months
  • Clean out a drawer
  • Clear off dresser top; end of week, redo
  • Complete something on to do list for 6+ months
  • Compliment a stranger
  • Create a chalk message on front sidewalk
  • Create a vision board for one goal
  • Dance with Bruno Mars (video)
  • Date night at a new bar
  • De-pill a sweater
  • Do a Fairy Deed
  • Do something I hate doing (ie, weeding)
  • Do something that scares me
  • Experiment with cake decorating tools
  • Go to service at that church down the street
  • Go through a rack/shelf of closet
  • Go through the spice/herb cabinet; try new one
  • Go to a movie matinee
  • Go to park for 30 min; sit, breathe, do nothing
  • Have a glass of wine with lunch; linger
  • Have a spontaneous party
  • Have lunch outside
  • Interview an “expert” (someone doing something I want to do in life)
  • Invite an acquaintance to meet for tea/coffee
  • Learn a new song
  • Learn a sentence/phrase in French
  • Learn a sentence/phrase in Italian
  • Listen to two old CDs
  • Make crème brulee
  • Meditate for 60 minutes (10+/day)
  • Memorize a short poem or monologue
  • Move something (ie, piece of furniture)
  • Open 1 DNS wine; drink from Waterford glasses
  • Paint two sample squares in office
  • Plant something
  • Purchase a new lipstick color
  • Purchase a new nail polish color
  • Put together a gift basket for myself
  • Read/explore 3 new blogs
  • Say “No” to something
  • Say “Yes” to something new
  • Schedule and plan a game night
  • Send a note of appreciation for character/quality
  • Set a small goal (ex: 1 min plank); blow it away
  • Spend 30 minutes filing in office
  • Submit an essay/pitch for publication
  • Take a long hot bath
  • Take B to a new place for date night
  • Take journal to coffee house 1 hour
  • Teach Louie (and me) a new trick
  • Throw something out
  • Try a new machine/exercise at the gym
  • Try a new recipe
  • Use the good china
  • Use the good silver
  • Visit a new market (ie, Whole Foods, specialty)
  • Visit JoAnn’s fabric/craft store
  • Visit Michael’s; wander and spend just $10
  • Walk a new street
  • Wander expensive store; touch every item I want (but don’t spend a dime)
  • Wear red lipstick every day
  • White Board: Draw something to manifest x5
  • Work for 2 hours offsite
  • Wear the nice jewelry
  • Get 8 hrs. of sleep x5
  • Take photo/day of things I love
  • Give in to an impulse that gives me joy
  • Go to a new-to-me ethnic restaurant
  • Order the French toast
  • Learn something new from a YouTube Video
Kathleen Woods

Why 52Nudges?

Kathleen WoodsIt was the Monday after Thanksgiving, my first day back in the office after the long holiday weekend. I opened up an email that alerted me to the potentially devastating blows the proposed tax bill would inflict upon my 18-year-old business. Let me rephrase: The colleague who forwarded the information indicated those changes would essentially shut down the business I had created from nothing and nurtured successfully for almost two decades.

After calls to my tax guy and financial consultants (who counseled me to wait it out a bit), I braced myself for what should have been curled-up-in-bed panic. But I didn’t feel panicky. I felt excited. Excited about who I might meet, where a conversation might lead, what the next chapter of my life might reveal.

For if I was honest with myself, I had been “tired” for a long time. Tired of the battles I waged that had little to do with the work I loved doing and more to do with running a self-employed business, tired of feeling constantly distracted and discouraged by all the “noise” in the news, tired of feeling passion-less and direction-less.

This is not to say that my life wasn’t good: I had an amazing community of friends, my health, a career and long-time clients that I loved, a home, a dog, and a wonderful husband. This didn’t feel like a mid-life crisis or a crisis of faith. Rather, I felt a strong calling to get back to what’s authentic for me. I’d been comfortable and complacent too long, and that was not a happy place for me. In the past, I thrived when I took leaps of faith and jumped without a net; at my core, I am a risk-taker. Not a jump-out-of-an-airplane kinda gal, but someone who tackled life’s challenges with outside-the-box creativity. It was time for me to nudge myself out of my little nest and do…I didn’t know what.

I searched for some kind of book, class, or program that would allow me to explore and expand, that would challenge me to embrace change. I ended up creating my own, with a variety of tasks that inspire creativity, push me out of my comfort zone (they should be uncomfortable), shake me out of routines, force me to do some self-care (I suck at this, as I almost always put others’ needs first), and have fun doing it.

Here are my “rules”:

  • Create a list of 52+ tasks. Cut them into strips, scrunch them into wads, put them into a bowl.
  • Every Sunday, for 52 weeks, pull a new challenge from the bowl, to be completed in the coming week.
  • I can pass and re-draw only 4 times (and I’ll report in, so you can keep me honest).
  • To the best of my ability, tackle the chosen challenge, and nudge myself.
  • Take note of what I experienced and what I learned.

I kicked it off with:

Break a rule.

What I did and what I learned about myself are written up in the first post, so I’ll let you read it on your own.

Then, if you feel so moved, I’d love to have you join me. Follow along and add your observations in Comments, join me each week in attempting the chosen task, create your own list and work concurrently, or just pop in every so often to see how I’m doing.

It’s all good. Let’s do this.