Update: Easing out of The Great Pause

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Dearest Nudger,

Today, for the first time in five weeks, I’m wearing real pants. Not slightly-too-big and gentle-on-my-abdomen sweatpants—which have been my wardrobe since March 30—but actual zipped-up, buttoned-up jeans. This is a huge win for me.

In case you missed my post from a month ago, a ruptured appendix, surgery, infections, and complications (there was a return to the ER on the 10th) inspired me to take The Great Pause of 2022. Well, “inspired” is not the word. When multiple doctors tell you “You are very lucky to be alive. Really: You are very, very lucky to be alive,” you have no choice but to clear your schedule and devote all of your time and energy to healing and Radical Self-Care.

A most appropriate—and appreciated—gift from a friend.

It’s been hard—at times painful, discouraging, challenging, frustrating, depressing. Recovery is slow, yet it progresses. (See “wearing real pants” above.) I’ve been getting out for short walks to begin regaining strength, answering the calls to rest when needed, and easing back in to the office with some client work.

Next week I’ll do a little more. I trust one day I will wake up and realize I am fully myself again—or my new self. And I’m counting on Nudges to help me as I reconsider, reimagine, and reinvent my future.

The 52Nudges team has continued to work behind the scenes to get the new website in shape, so we’ve got that to look forward to. Also, we’ve got some Guest Nudgers lined up to share their journeys. I’m excited to experience all of this and more. I hope to resume drawings of Nudges in the next couple of weeks.

Today my overall emotion is gratitude. I appreciate the support Thor and I have received in the form of calls, cards, comments, prayers, and acts of kindness. I am so lucky to be a part of this loving community, and I appreciate everyone who has helped me get through this Great Pause. I’m grateful to still be here—with most of my original parts! 😉

I’ll see you back here soon. Be gentle with yourself.   xoKath

The Great Pause of 2022

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So…my appendix ruptured. I am now home, having spent several days in hospital being treated for the resulting infections. I’m fine. I’ll be fine.

I’m also clearing my schedule.

For a few moments, I considered running past Nudges or doing some cute little TLC Nudges, but that’s not what I need. Radical Self-Care (and reality) demands that right now I put me first in every way.

I’ll be back. I’m not sure when, maybe in a few weeks. In the meantime, you might continue to do Nudges from your own list, review some oldies and re-challenge yourself, or take time to consider and do what you really need for you right now.

It’s a new day, it’s a new dawn, and I’m feeling grateful to be alive. xoKath

Dawn, as seen from my hospital room.

P.S. Some of you will want to reach out, and I appreciate this. Instead of having to open and respond to lots of messages, something I don’t have the energy for, I ask that you send your good wishes to me in your thoughts and prayers and save the emails and texts for later.

 

Nudging: Do one category of Tidying Up

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Backstory: Was it mid-2020? I’m not sure, but early in the days of COVID sheltering-in-place, I read Marie Kondo’s book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up and made a plan for decluttering our home.

That plan is still in my to-do folder.

Until today! 🙂 I’m pulling it out and picking one category to tackle this week. The sock drawer? (Kondo recommends starting there.) The dog gear? The old photos sucking up memory on my iPhone? Any progress will be good.

 

Nudged: Buy a bar of my favorite chocolate & enjoy it

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Backstory: This Nudge is inspired by a nutritionist-recommended deprivation diet I tried in fall 2021. It was a disaster. I was miserable. Nothing tasted good, I got no pleasure from anything. Sure, a few pounds fell away, but I was so unhappy, I knew I had to find a better way.

I did some homework, took a hard look at what I really ate (all around, quite healthy) and how I really exercised, and made a few adjustments. I rethought my portions, changed up my workouts, and…success. Progress toward my goal weight and optimal health has been slow and steady.

So this Nudge feels like a small indulgence, and it is. As it should be.

What will you treat yourself to this week?

What Happened: I took this photo a few minutes ago, in preparation to tell you I failed at this Nudge.

Even though I made a special trip to the market just for this item early in the week, I never opened it. I felt I couldn’t do the real task of this Nudge, which was to “enjoy it.”

So…what the heck?!

I sat quietly this morning to think on this, and here’s what came up. Typically I’d treat myself to a piece when I was stressed, or as I was preparing a meal and wanted a little something to tide me over, or as a prize upon completing a work project. As I faced each of those scenarios this past week, none of them gave me the opportunity to truly enjoy this deeply delicious chocolate. I kept putting it off until I could take a moment, maybe pair it with an espresso or glass of excellent red wine, but that moment never happened.

The Ah-Hahs: “Failed”? Hardly. I think this Nudge was a huge success in how it made me more aware of how I eat, how I indulge (which is not a bad thing), and how I enjoy the good things in my life. I will open this chocolate bar one day soon, and the full experience of tasting, feeling, enjoying will, I trust, be wonderful.

 

Nudging: Buy a bar of my fav chocolate & enjoy it

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Backstory: This Nudge is inspired by a nutritionist-recommended deprivation diet I tried in fall 2021. It was a disaster. I was miserable. Nothing tasted good, I got no pleasure from anything. Sure, a few pounds fell away, but I was so unhappy, I knew I had to find a better way.

I did some homework, took a hard look at what I really ate (all around, quite healthy) and how I really exercised, and made a few adjustments. I rethought my portions, changed up my workouts, and…success. Progress toward my goal weight and optimal health has been slow and steady.

So this Nudge feels like a small indulgence, and it is. As it should be.

What will you treat yourself to this week?

 

 

Nudged: Take a Sacred Pause x2/day

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The Backstory: I wish I could remember which friend introduced me to the concept of “Sacred Pause,” because it’s brilliant. This is my way of taking small steps toward more mindfulness. I suck at meditation, and I’m tired of trying to force myself to do it. I’m not great about scheduling Me Time either. It’s also not the same as my regular prayer time, which is sacred in its own way. All I have to do–twice each day this week–is Stop. Take a deep breath. Close my eyes. Maybe stretch. That’s it.

To keep myself on track, I have written this on my daily schedule so I can check off each one.

What Happened: This Nudge was so timely and perfect for me. Life has handed me quite a lot, and I have had a couple of legit meltdowns. “Overwhelmed” doesn’t feel adequate.

So this week, whenever I started to feel panicked, stressed, distracted, pulled in every direction (like the afternoon when I was on the phone with the vet, Thor was texting me, our lovely housekeeper had a question, a client sent a red-flag email, AND the puppy signaled it was time to go pee again), I took a break and took a breath. Okay, I took the puppy out first, then I took a break, but most times when the inner call came, I just stopped in my tracks, closed my eyes, and paused.

One afternoon the pause expanded into a deep, dreamless nap (much needed). On two occasions my pause took the form of sipping a cuppa good tea while looking at something other than my computer screen. One morning, when everything was not going to plan, I listened to what I really needed and took myself and the puppy to the beach for an extended pause.

As of this morning, I feel like I am better at listening to myself and responding to what I really need in the moment. In just a few days I moved past the need for boxes to check off and I’m just doing this.

The Ah-Hahs: Mindfulness. Listening to my self, my needs. In the moment. When I think about how I want to master this in my life, it seems like a Big Project. And yet, what I discovered this week is that I could achieve it with a very small, simple, doable Nudge.

Nudging: Take a Sacred Pause x2/day

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The Backstory: I wish I could remember which friend introduced me to the concept of “Sacred Pause,” because it’s brilliant. This is my way of taking small steps toward more mindfulness. I suck at meditation, and I’m tired of trying to force myself to do it. I’m not great about scheduling Me Time either. It’s also not the same as my regular prayer time, which is sacred in its own way. All I have to do–twice each day this week–is Stop. Take a deep breath. Close my eyes. Maybe stretch. That’s it.

To keep myself on track, I have written this on my daily schedule so I can check off each one.

Nudged: Create a chalk message/drawing on the sidewalk

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Backstory: This is so funny: I was actually thinking about pulling out my basket of chalks a few days ago and making something fun, and now I “have” to do it!

If you’re a long-time Nudger, you know that this Nudge has appeared in every round. It checks all the boxes: cheap, fun, creative, outside my comfort zone (I am so not a visual artist), and it 100% lifts my spirits every time.

The message will go on our front sidewalk, so it will be addressed to our neighbors. However, I am fully aware that I am sending this message to myself. What do I need to hear/read? What do you need?

As always, make this Nudge your own. Maybe use paints, markers, or crayons to make an uplifting sign and hang it in your front window. Maybe create something on Canva and post it on your social media. Have fun with it!

What Happened: Oh, how I love this Nudge. I’ve been going out of the house a lot lately (puppy), about every hour on the hour (pee breaks), and every time my messages made me smile.

About an hour after I finished, I noticed one of the neighbor kids was out front, busy making her own chalk messages. She drew some flowers in front of our house with “You are awesome blossom!” #fullheart

The Ah-Hahs: My spirit needed this boost. I needed to do something fun. Sometimes it really is the simplest things that do the heavy lifting.

Nudging: Create a chalk message/drawing on the sidewalk

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Backstory: This is so funny: I was actually thinking about pulling out my basket of chalks a few days ago and making something fun, and now I “have” to do it!

If you’re a long-time Nudger, you know that this Nudge has appeared in every round. It checks all the boxes: cheap, fun, creative, outside my comfort zone (I am so not a visual artist), and it 100% lifts my spirits every time.

The message will go on our front sidewalk, so it will be addressed to our neighbors. However, I am fully aware that I am sending this message to myself. What do I need to hear/read? What do you need?

As always, make this Nudge your own. Maybe use paints, markers, or crayons to make an uplifting sign and hang it in your front window. Maybe create something on Canva and post it on your social media. Have fun with it!

Nudged: Paint sample squares on the office wall

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Backstory: My office is in our home, and it’s an incredible space. Big bay window that looks out over our backyard. Mementos of past projects on the walls. A huge pine desk. And now a puppy pen in the corner. For years I’ve wanted to give it a makeover. I want color, I want pizzazz, I want something that represents my best self. I want it to look not just like a spare room that serves as an office, but as a truly beautiful creative space.

To that end, a couple of years ago I picked up sample bottles of paint to try out. This is the week I find them (they’re somewhere in the basement) and paint those squares on the wall so I can live with them and figure out what color I want my walls to be.

Thor and I have done this before. We completely changed the look and feel of our dining and living rooms with color. I also know that this is the gateway to more TLC for our home. Painting the walls is the first step that will eventually lead to nice curtains, a rug without holes, and lighting fixtures that don’t date back to the 1970s.

I’m excited to finally get this project started.

Lots of options for making this Nudge your own. Maybe you pick up some of those paper color swatches and start with that. Or browse online and create a Pinterest gallery for a new couch/reading chair/bathtub. Or fix one small thing in your home that has been on the to-do list for a while. If you need inspiration, check out Apartment Therapy, a site I’ve been following recently for motivation on decluttering.

Pick one small step in the larger project and get it done. Let’s show our homes some TLC this week.

What Happened: OMG, I actually did this! I had every excuse ready to flake on this Nudge. I even spent part of my lunch break on Tuesday snooping around Sherwin-Williams‘s website and playing with their “visualizer,” telling myself this would count as completing the Nudge.

But dangit, I’ve put this off long enough. I did, in fact, find those two sample bottles in the basement and was embarrassed to discover I didn’t buy them “a couple of years ago” but in February…2015. How long has “spiff up my office” been on my Wish and To-Do lists? Too long.

So this afternoon I took advantage of the puppy’s nap time and got to work.

Pretty, right? That’s Butter Up on the left, Jonquil on the right. They’re on the wall that I face when I’m at my desk, and I plan to live with them for a while, to see how they look in different lighting during the day, to see which one feels right. Or maybe I’ll decide to branch out and try something totally different. I have to say, there is a light, almost gray, lavender that caught my eye when I was browsing the website.

The Ah-Hahs: Painting these squares + clean-up took less than 10 minutes. I’m kinda beating myself up for putting this off for seven years! But it’s done, and I’m excited to move forward to next steps: choosing my palette, finding a coordinating rug + curtains + lamps. I’m also reminding myself that this is my Process for achieving things, a skill set I haven’t used in a while: Break a big goal/dream into small steps and do one by one till it’s complete. It feels good to be moving forward.

The other ah-hah is I noticed how calming the physical painting was. My breathing naturally aligned with my brush strokes. The colors lifted my spirit. I’m smiling right now as I look at these two colors.

Isn’t it fun when a Nudge turns out to be packed with unexpected gifts?

P.S. What do you think: Butter Up or Jonquil or…?