Tag Archives: 52Nudges 3.0

Nudging: Check out the local specialty cheese shop

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Background: I’ve lived in my current neighborhood for over a decade, yet for some reason I can’t explain, I’ve never stepped inside the specialty cheese shop across the street from one of my favorite restaurants. I’ve walked and driven past it a million times. I’ve even parked in front of it and peered in the front window. Friends rave about this place, about its offerings and its owners. What’s it going to take to get me in the door?

This week’s Nudge.

As always, make this your own. Maybe this is the week you visit a new-to-you branch of your local library, or the knitting shop that seems to call out to you, or the tiny historic building you’ve always meant to explore.

I wish you a fun adventure!

Nudged: Ignore the news for 1 full week

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Backstory: Pretty straightforward this one. By ignoring the news this week, I hope to lower my blood pressure and maybe focus on more joy in the world. Fingers crossed.

What Happened: Well, this was HARD! I jumped right in, committed to sticking to my plan, but “news” is everywhere. Monday morning it distracted me at the gym. (Just try focusing on anything other than the hanging TV screens in front of you while you’re stuck on the elliptical.) And it feels like everything counts as news. Is it okay to check the weather app? (Not if I end up looking at weather-related stories — like power outages and catastrophic flooding.) Does keeping up with posts on Instagram count? (Yes, but some had to be checked for work.) Dang! I found myself looking for loopholes!

When I got stressed, I wanted to “relax” with a “break.” When I got bored, ditto. When friends forwarded interesting articles, I wanted desperately to stay informed and reply with my opinions; instead, I set them aside to look at next week. When “BREAKING NEWS” arrived in my email inbox, I could have given in and gotten my celebrity fix, but I got better at moving it to trash before getting sucked in.

I stuck with it, acknowledging the tug to “just look for a moment” and then pulling myself away. Altogether, I felt I completed this Nudge successfully and…

The Ah-Hahs: It got easier with each new day. The attraction lost its appeal, especially as I started to register how less stressed I was. This is in big part due to my noticing how much time I waste looking at mostly garbage, how much energy I waste getting worked up over all the triggering messages that come my way. This was a great Nudge for Radical Self-Care.

Will I slide back into old bad habits next week? I hope not. I don’t think so. I really do feel better having had this break from the 24/7 news cycle.

Nudged: Put $5 into 4 random pockets

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Backstory: My friend Candace introduced me to this practice many years ago, and it’s been ages since I’ve last done it. You know how we get so stressed about money (usually the lack of it)? Well, this is one way to be delighted by money for a change (interesting pun–hehe!). Here’s how it works:

  1. Get four bills ($1, $5, $20 — whatever you can swing)
  2. “Hide” each of the bills in a different pocket, or in something you don’t plan on opening for some time. The first time I did this, it was summer and I put the bills in the pockets of different winter coats. You might also slip them inside books you plan to read, in the back of a drawer you rarely open — any place you’re likely to forget about for a while.

That’s it! A few months from now, you’ll reach into that pocket and SURPRISE! Then do something nice for yourself with it.

What Happened: Interestingly, it was a little challenging getting four $5 bills. I had to go to two places to get change!

With four “Abes” in hand, I spent a couple of days thinking about where I might hide them. Since my coats are in active rotation right now, that didn’t make sense. Old purses? Between the pages in big, serious books I really should read (but keep getting passed over for fun stories)? Then…huh…what about those jeans I’ve been using to monitor my current weight-loss efforts?

Tucked in the back of my closet are three pairs of nice jeans I am hoping to get back into before the year ends. It will feel sooooo good to slip them back on, knowing I have achieved significant goals, so why not double-down on the joy and happiness when I discover a bonus prize in the pockets?

That took care of three bills. The last I finally tucked deep inside a box of postcards. I will definitely forget about this, and it will be super-fun when I finally find it and reward myself for my good deeds of keeping in touch with people.

The Ah-Hahs: This Nudge is a little different than others, in that I won’t get the pay-off (what is with me and puns this week?!) for some time. However, I had fun doing this. As I hid each bill, I imagined how delighted I will be when I discover it, and that emotion took hold of me now. And that is what I wanted to get with this Nudge: to link money and happiness right now. Ch-ching!

Nudged: Invite a potential friend out for a “date”

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Backstory: Maybe it’s all the isolation from COVID, or just the fact that so many of my closest friends live far away. I need new girlfriends. I need someone with whom I can pick up the phone and be spontaneous. And it takes time to find the right matches and nurture these relationships.

But it feels like dating (ugh), and it’s scary and hard! So…I’m nudging myself to make the first move.

What Happened: One of my doctors is super fun. We have great chats when I go in for checkups, and I’ve often thought, if we had met under different circumstances, we would be friends.

I don’t have her personal info, so figuring out how to contact her was interesting. I didn’t want to leave a message on her office voicemail or email, something her staff would screen. Instead, I sent her a handwritten note, marked “Personal,” which basically said what I wrote above then said I’d love the opportunity to get better acquainted, maybe over coffee or lunch.

Honestly, this felt a little icky. But I reminded myself of a conversation I had with a friend years ago, a friend who is a pastor. He shared with me how people put him on kind of a pedestal and were intimidated about inviting him to social gatherings. It was like they thought he was too pious to enjoy it or worried he would be judging them. He’s human too, and he was lonely! With him, I was able to separate the person from the profession, and we became good friends, and I followed up by building friendships with other pastors in my life.

So….I hope my doc accepts my invitation.

Ah-hah: As I write this, I haven’t yet had a response to my note, and I’ve been feeling like a nerdy, needy middle schooler: “Why doesn’t she like me?! What’s wrong with me?!” I admit there was a small part of me that hoped for an immediate and enthusiastic YES!

I’m going to have to be okay with the wait. I’m mostly proud of myself for going waaaay outside my comfort zone and making the ask. Because nothing would happen if I didn’t first ask, and it feels empowering to have taken the first steps.

 

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Nudging: Invite a potential friend out for a “date”

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Backstory: Maybe it’s all the isolation from COVID, or just the fact that so many of my closest friends live far away. I need new girlfriends. I need someone with whom I can pick up the phone and be spontaneous. And it takes time to find the right matches and nurture these relationships.

But it feels like dating (ugh), and it’s scary and hard! So…I’m nudging myself to make the first move.

Nudged: Explore a new used-book store, spend just $10

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Backstory: Of all things, this Nudge was inspired by a character in a book I read last year (wish I could remember the title). The character would only read books he could purchase for $5 or less. What an interesting challenge! I also love that this Nudge is a way to support a local small business.

Speaking of great small bookshops, I’d like to give a shout-out to Dudley’s in Bend, Oregon. In their cozy space, they offer new and used books, as well as an espresso bar. This fabulous staircase (pictured) leads to the seating area.

What happened: I know this is partly due to COVID shutdowns, but it has been ages since I’ve been able to just browse, and it takes all my willpower to not stock up on books online. But with this Nudge in mind, I was determined to pick up something for less than $10 for myself.

I did a reconnaissance of the space, checking out the various sections—travel, local history, mysteries—before deciding to focus on fiction. Mixing things up, I began perusing the shelves at the end of the alphabet. At first it was fun to see titles of books I’ve already read and be reminded of the pleasure they gave me. Then I stumbled upon one that looked familiar. I was pretty sure the title was on my list of recommendations from friends, but I couldn’t remember reading it. I pulled it out, and sure enough, it was something on my To-Read List—and it was only $5. I also found the perfect pick-me-up gift for a friend, a novel by a local author I think she’ll love. And the price was just $5—wahoo!

Can I also add, it felt really good to pay in cash.

 

Ah-Hahs: Stop and enjoy. Not scrolling online, not buying based on reviews, but seeing and holding the actual books. What a tactile, thoughtful treat.

I wasn’t in the shop long, but it was such a pleasant and calming experience that it recalibrated my day. And I didn’t have to spend a fortune. I’m quite pleased by the fact that I got all this for so little.

Nudging: Explore a used-book store, spend just $10

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Backstory: Of all things, this Nudge was inspired by a character in a book I read last year (wish I could remember the title). The character would only read books he could purchase for $5 or less. What an interesting challenge! I also love that this Nudge is a way to support a local small business.

Speaking of great small bookshops, I’d like to give a shout-out to Dudley’s in Bend, Oregon. In their cozy space, they offer new and used books, as well as an espresso bar. This fabulous staircase (pictured) leads to the seating area.

Nudged: Give myself a home facial

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Backstory: This Nudge hits on two themes: self-care and household decluttering. I wish I could go out for a professional facial, but I’m still not comfortable being in enclosed spaces. (Darn COVID.) But that’s no excuse to pass up a chance for some pampering. Besides, I know there’s a treasure trove of potions and creams and stuff hiding in the bottom drawer of my bathroom cabinet. Time to dig something out and put it to use!

Note: Like with all Nudges, you can follow along with mine or do your own thing. Maybe you can splurge for a mani-pedi at your favorite spa—go for it! Maybe you got a fancy gift set of bath bubbles for the holidays—break it out! Treat yourself to something that makes you feel good.

What happened: The directions weren’t specific as to the time—just “Let dry and rinse with warm water”—so I figured I had about 10 minutes. Immediately after I applied the mask and washed the residue off my hands, I started looking for a way to multi-task. I could sort laundry, put the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher, make the bed, check emails, glance at headlines….Whoa.

STOP!

A better choice, I realized, was to sit my butt down and relax for those 10 minutes. Close my eyes, breathe. It was hard, but I did it.

Ah-Hahs: I love how Nudges surprise me, how what I expect to experience goes out the window. I thought this one would be a simple act of self-care. Instead, it was hard for me to do, which was a little disappointing. I did my best, but will admit I was fidgeting and distracted. Which makes me think maybe I need to give myself facials more frequently, for the health of my skin and my soul.

I wish you a happy, healthy, and fun new year! xoKathleen