Tag Archives: 52Nudges

Nudging: Book a Pilates class

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Backstory: This is really the result of a bigger Nudge. A while back I played with what forms of exercise might get me…well…moving. Do I want to get into an organized team sport, like softball or soccer? (No.) Do I want to give running another try? (My 53-year-old knees say no.) Yoga? (Ugh.)

Maybe there is something I loved doing as a child that I’d like to revisit. Jumping rope is on the list, as is bocce ball. I will continue with long walks, on my own and as excuses for catching up with friends, but the exercise that my body seemed to most respond to has always been Pilates.

I can come up with any number of excuses for why I haven’t been to a class in over a year. None of those excuses are good. So this week, I’m going to pull out my calendar, make a commitment, and just do it.

What good-for-you activity have you been putting off? If you can’t fit it in this week, at least get it inked on the calendar for soon.

Nudged: See the top of my desk

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Backstory: I feel like I’ve done this Nudge before. Or maybe that’s because this task seems to have a permanent spot on my To Do List.

Before.

Work projects, personal projects, receipts to be entered, reminders scribbled on scraps of paper, multiple versions of To Do Lists, articles to be read, notes for articles to be written…. No wonder my poor brain feels scrambled!

This week I want to clear space both physically and mentally. I hope I can post a lovely “After” photo soon.

What Happened: OMG, I did it. Seriously, I’m impressed with myself because Monday morning, as I got my work week started, as I looked at the To Do List, I thought, Screw this. I’ll just put everything on the floor or move it to the dining room table and cheat.

Instead, every day I devoted at least 20 minutes to tackling the top of any stack and getting things handled. At the risk of sounding like our mothers, I’ll also confess that I practiced putting items (file folders, calculator, pens, sticky notepads) away in their places as soon as I was done using them.  Step by step, piece by piece.

The Ah-Hahs: This morning when I came into the office, this is what greeted me:

After.

For the first time in ages, I started a day not stressed, not in total overwhelm, but calm.

This feels sooooooo good. 🙂

Nudging: Learn a new song

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Backstory: One of the Nudges I’ve enjoyed again and again is listening to new music. After going through our own collection for this Nudge, I’ve since regularly requested CDs from the library, learning about jazz, opera, even some country music. Nina Simone was a revelation. How had I never heard about her before?

In addition to simply loving the music, part of me listens with the thought “Could I sing this?” I used to sing. A lot. In large and small ensembles, with the occasional solo. The last time I learned a new song was almost three years ago, when I rehearsed for weeks to perform “Think of Me” from Phantom of the Opera for my husband (it’s one of his favorites). It was so fun to seriously challenge myself, to reawaken those muscles, to use my gifts.

So I’m going to listen to a new few tunes this week and pick one to sing. It may all be for an audience of one (Louie the dog), or I may get a revelatory “Ah-Hah” out of it.

What did you used to love to do that you’d love to do again? Feel like giving it a new go this week?

Nudged: Take a long walk

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Backstory: This Nudge is about more than just amping up my exercise routine. It’s about getting OUT. It’s about resting my brain. It’s about taking deeper breaths and taking in breathtaking scenery. It’s about moving forward, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

I’m not sure yet whether I’ll use this Nudge to meet up with a friend for a catching-up session, or go on a quiet, meditational walk by myself.

Maybe I’ll do both.

What Happened: I did get out early this morning for a long walk with a dear friend. We caught up for over an hour, with plenty of topics left over for our next walk, which I hope we’ll schedule soon.

But the long walk I want to share in detail from this Nudge was something I did on my own.

I’ve shared recently that I’ve been struggling. I’m having a hard time getting going in the mornings, in part because I am searching for my lost mojo. This week I decided to try to Just Do It by setting a timer and forcing (yes) myself to get out of bed and just get moving.

Wednesday night I set out gear for walking: sturdy shoes, cozy sweatshirt and scarf, water bottle, sunglasses, phone with earbugs. I pretty much rolled out of bed and straight into the clothes and was out the door just after 6:00. Wahoo! My “treat” for doing this was a chunk of time to listen to a great story, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn read by Kate Burton, on audiobook.

I headed up our hill, explored a couple of unfamiliar streets, took in the views, listened to the story. All would have been fabulous if this was it.

But there was more.

I turned a corner and came face-to-face, we’re talking maybe 10 feet apart, with this beautiful creature.

I stopped. It stopped. The best way I can think to describe the encounter was we regarded each other. For several seconds.

Under normal circumstances, this could have been an awful experience. We have a coyote problem in our neighborhood, along the lines of family cats gone missing, dogs snatched right in front of their humans, warnings sent to parents to keep their small children indoors. If Louie (our dog) had been with me, this likely would have been terrifying.

But it was calm. It was…respectful.

I reached into my pocket to get my phone, to take a photo, which the coyote took as a signal to move. Phooey! But then it stood just beside a house and continued to look at me. I took a couple of steps, and it slipped into the garden. Double phooey! I took a couple more steps to peek into the garden and snapped the shot you see above.

The Ah-Hahs: A friend called shortly thereafter and I told her what had happened. “It’s a sign!” she said. “You’re going to have a year of adventures!” Okay then.

Back at home, I continued to think about it, and on a whim I googled “spiritual meaning of a coyote sighting”.

Well!

A coyote is a messenger, I learned, an “important messenger.” A coyote sighting is a reminder to “take a look within, to not take life too seriously, to lighten up, and to learn to laugh at ourselves and even our mistakes”. The coyote comes to encourage us to not just focus on a single problem/burden/concern, but to take in the whole of life.

“Do you feel stuck in a rut?” one site asked me. Uh, yep. Then the coyote came to tell me to stop taking things too seriously, to acknowledge the lighter side of things, and to enjoy life.

All this came to me because I nudged myself to take a long walk.

Wow.

Nudging: Take a long walk

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Backstory: This Nudge is about more than just amping up my exercise routine. It’s about getting OUT. It’s about resting my brain. It’s about taking deeper breaths and taking in breathtaking scenery. It’s about moving forward, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

I’m not sure yet whether I’ll use this Nudge to meet up with a friend for a catching-up session, or go on a quiet, meditational walk by myself.

Maybe I’ll do both.

Nudged: Do my “do” (hair) 4x

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Backstory: Back in the day (high school), I would allow as much as two hours to wash, blow dry, set in hot rollers, and style my hair.

Sure, right.

That doesn’t happen very often these days, and “forcing” myself to do this will definitely be outside my comfort zone. However. Through some previous Nudges, I’ve realized that when I pull myself together, I feel better, and I carry myself better. I even included this practice as one of the things that might help me get my mojo back.

Let’s “do” this. 😉

What Happened:

Monday: Never so much as brushed my hair.

Tuesday: Threw myself together with kind of a fun and slightly messy bun. I’m no Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, but it worked.

Wednesday: I don’t have time for this sh*t! Geez! I work, I support friends and family, I keep the house standing. And somehow I’m supposed to make time to be runway ready?! I got myself to the gym and showered in the morning, then went straight to work. I had to run a couple of errands, and went out without makeup and hair that looked like it had been styled by Thor (the god who controls lightning, not my husband). I was That Woman in line at the market praying Please don’t let me run into anybody I know. Please. I’m begging. Happy to report my prayers were answered on this one. But geez. I felt like a hot mess, and I wanted to be invisible. That evening my husband had a work event, so at 4:45 I plugged in the trusty flat iron and rallied.

Thursday: Got a free pass today as Second Day Hair looked good with no special effort required. (I love my flat iron). Felt slightly better about myself when I went to the market. That afternoon, I caught up with a friend, another writer who also works from a home office. She mentioned she’s been feeling out of sorts lately, uninspired, unmotivated. So she took a cue from FlyLady (I love FlyLady) and tried dressing for work. Today, for example, instead of staying in yoga clothes all day, she put on nice slacks and an office-worthy cardigan instead of the ratty old thing we pull on when we think “Only the dog is going to see me today.” She brushed her hair, swiped on some mascara and lip gloss, and slipped into actual shoes…and had her most productive day in ages.

Friday: Got up early and gave myself a decent blowout, which made me sweaty. What a pain! Dressed for a business meeting off site—sweater, straight skirt, tights and boots—I checked myself out in the rearview mirror and thought, “Lookin’ good, Kath.” The meeting went well, and I had a productive afternoon. Toward the end of the day, I noticed I wasn’t slumping. I was sitting up straighter than usual for late on a Friday.

A Good(ish) Hair Day

 

Ah-Hah: I must confess, I’ve been in a deep, dark funk lately. There was one day last week when the only thing that got me out of bed was I needed to feed the dog. I’m not sure what this is. Maybe it’s the change in seasons. Maybe it’s the overabundance of rain (dammit) we’ve had this year. (I’m a Southern California, “69 degrees is cold”, I need my sunshine kinda gal). Maybe…I don’t know.

But I’m not throwing in the towel, and I’m returning again and again to my Mojo prompts to get through this. This doing my ’do Nudge is part of my efforts, and it was inspired in part by Elizabeth Gilbert.

In her book about living a creative life, Big Magic, she talks about how you should dress for work the way you would dress if you were going to meet your lover. Think about it. If you were dashing out, all excited and breathless, for a romantic rendezvous, you wouldn’t schlep about in yoga pants and a faded, stretched-out T-shirt. You’d dress in your very best, from the lacy underwear to your fanciest perfume. So, how are you meeting your work? Maybe it’s time to show it some respect, to demonstrate that it is your greatest passion.

I’m going to keep at this. I’m going to continue to do what I can to present myself to the world—or just to the dog—in a way that makes me feel my best. I’m going to do this for my work. Better yet, let’s do this for ourselves!

 

Nudging: Do my “do” (hair) 4x

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Backstory: Back in the day (high school), I would allow as much as two hours to wash, blow dry, set in hot rollers, and style my hair.

Sure, right.

That doesn’t happen very often these days, and “forcing” myself to do this will definitely be outside my comfort zone. However. Through some previous Nudges, I’ve realized that when I pull myself together, I feel better, and I carry myself better. I even included this practice as one of the things that might help me get my mojo back.

Let’s “do” this. 😉

Nudged: Learn the name of someone new

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Backstory: There’s that old story about a test in a medical school in which a large portion of the grade is based on correctly answering one question: “What is the name of the woman who cleans up after us?”

The idea for this week’s Nudge came from that. I used to know the name of our postal carrier, the man who owned the drycleaning business down the street, the young woman who made my mochas at Peet’s, and the sweet man who greeted us so warmly at our favorite restaurant. But I’ve gotten out of practice. And there’s no excuse.

So this week I’m going to look for opportunities to step outside of my complacency zone and to talk with someone new.

What Happened: His name is Kong.

I’ve seen him regularly at the gym. He’s an elderly gentleman, not one of the iron-pumping guys who over-lifts to impress the girls, but nonetheless one of my fellow “gym rats” who likes to get in a workout  before the sun comes up. We’ve nodded to each other, said “Good morning,” but that’s about it…for years.

Two weeks ago that changed.

I’ve been out of my normal routine, haven’t been able to exercise as much as usual, and I definitely wasn’t hitting the elliptical machine at oh-six-hundred. But after I checked in that first official day back in the gym, he greeted me with “I’ve missed you! Is everything okay?”

I could have cried. It was so kind and thoughtful, and it touched my heart. I explained I’d been out for a medical reason, but was doing fine, was recovering, and was slowly making my way back to exercising again. “It’s good to see you again,” he said. “Thank you,” I managed, barely holding back tears. “You too.”

This morning was Day 2 of getting back in the groove, and there he was. “You look good! How are you feeling?” I thanked him, told him I was doing better, and that I was happy to see him. I wished him a good workout, then headed toward my first machine.

Then I stopped myself. Remembering this week’s Nudge, I turned around and went after him. “I’d like to know your name, please.”

“It’s Kong.”

I wasn’t sure I’d understood him at first, so asked him to spell it: K-O-N-G. “Kong,” I repeated. “And I’m Kathy. I’m so pleased to know you.”

The Ah-Hahs: I’m still glowing from this friendly exchange. I’m already looking forward to being back at the gym later this week. Look at that — bonus! And though I’ve already completed this Nudge, I’m looking forward to meeting more of my neighbors — and, I hope, soon-to-be-friends — this week.

 

Nudged: Do something I hate (i.e., weeding)

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Backstory: Ugh. Remember when I/we did something that scared us? (Read that post here.) That was scary (obvs), but it also had an element of fun. Not so much this Nudge. This has a taint of must-do, take responsibility, be an adult.

Or…I need to see this as spreading my wings and taking a leap of faith out of my nest.

That seems much more exciting, doesn’t it? 🙂 Let’s do this.

What Happened: The actual slip of paper for this Nudge includes “(i.e., weeding)”, so I initially thought about weeding at least part of the backyard, but couldn’t bring myself to do it. (Seriously, I do not enjoy gardening, as we learned in this post about finding a new bookstore. When I win big in the lottery, my first outsourcing will be to hire someone to clean up my garden—and maintain it—for me.)

Instead I decided to tackle the refrigerator. This is one of those household tasks that ends up on my to do list almost every week, and almost every week gets bumped to the end of the line.

So… I pulled on the ol’ rubber gloves, grabbed the trash can, and dove in.

Two words: Bio. Hazard.

Is sticking to a new diet on your list of New Year’s Resolutions? Then I’ve got a sure-fire trick for you to achieve your goal. Just pull a few condiments out of your fridge, read the expiration dates (oh, sweet god), then try, just see if you can open the lids that have become glued to the jars by what is now unidentifiable muck.

Gag-o-rama.

But it got done. All of it. And honestly, it wasn’t all that bad. Nothing pre-dated my marriage, which made me feel a tiny bit better about things. (I say this because there was a time when I went through the spice rack and discovered some items lurking in the back that should have been added to the compost pile ages ago). And there wasn’t a lot. I was definitely shaming myself for wasted food as I tossed unused items, but I couldn’t dwell on things that at this point were way beyond saving.

Ah-Hah: So fresh start. Clean shelves. Open spaces. When I popped out to the market this afternoon, I only purchased ingredients for our next several meals, and you can trust that moving forward I’ll be conscientious about only buying what we need for now.

It’s not perfectly organized, but it’s clean and I know what’s in there. Progress!

I’d like to tell you that during the process I also experienced a personal ah-hah, one in which I chose to embrace that every day is a fresh start with open spaces for new opportunities. I didn’t.

I also could have looked at this as an opportunity to examine the things in my life that have the potential to make me “sick”, physically, emotionally. I didn’t really do that either. But somewhere in the back shelves of my subconscious, the ideas are there, and maybe I’ll find myself making healthier choices as a result.

What did you weed out of your life this week?

Nudged: Create a chalk message on front sidewalk

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Backstory: What are some of the things you loved doing as a child? Off the top of my head:

  • Seeing how high I could swing on the swings at the playground.
  • Creating baked goods. (Some experiments didn’t qualify as “good,” but they were still creative and fun).
  • Dancing, both in ballet class and freestyle with my friends.
  • Pretending to be Nancy Drew/Barbie/one of Charlie’s Angels.
  • Getting lost in a good book (Nancy Drew, Little House on the Prairie).
  • Decorating the sidewalk with colored chalk.

Whenever we host a special event, I love to greet our guests with a message. Happy Birthday! Merry Christmas! Welcome! I typically include their names with some simple drawings (hearts, flowers), and when I open my door, I am gifted with big smiles.

There’s no special occasion this week, but I think it will be fun to greet my neighbors with a bit of joy.

I keep a basket of chalks, both the small and big sizes, in a table by the front door. They’re cheap! Find colored chalks at toy stores, crafting stores, and some grocery or drug stores.

Chalk not your thing? Then maybe pull out a sheet of printer paper and draw a sign of greeting to hang in your window or on your front door. Have fun with this!

What Happened: Early Monday morning, feeling a bit goofy, I went outside and wrote my message. I used a light-colored chalk, so it’s a little hard to see in the photo. It reads:

It’s going to be a GREAT day! (smiley face)

 

I smiled the whole time I was writing it…until I looked up and was face-to-face with a neighbor I’ve seen around but don’t know. He was dressed for work (of course); I was in animal print flannel PJs, blotchy pillow-imprinted face, and bed-head hair. Lovely! I imagined him thinking, “Crazy woman”, but you know what? I didn’t care. I wished him “Good morning!”, gave him my friendliest smile, and finished the last touch on my message.

As my day progressed, I found myself sneaking peeks outside the front window. Had anyone noticed my message? Was anyone lifted out of Monday Morning Gloom?

It didn’t take long for me to realize the message was for me as much as anyone. I was wishing myself a great day, setting the stage for a great day with a great attitude. And I found myself smiling frequently.

The next morning, although my original message was intact, I wanted more. Now I am not an artist. I don’t kid myself about that, especially since I work with amazing artists and know what they are capable of. But I can do simple drawings, so I went with this:

Wednesday, rains gifted me with a fresh canvas of sorts, so on Thursday it felt appropriate to create this:

Again, no one stopped by to comment. I don’t know if it made anyone smile or think how much they used to love chalk drawings. It didn’t matter, because…

The Ah-Hah: …doing this made me happy. That’s right, just a few minutes in the morning instilled a lightness and joy in me that lasted all day long.

There were a few moments of “I should take a class! I should learn more art!” I really think that’s beyond me, but I can appreciate the delight that comes from things like the International Chalk Festival. If you are looking for inspiration for your own creations—or just want to be delighted—check out some of the artists and their amazing work here.

P.S. We’re having some friends over for dinner tonight. Guess what I’m going outside to do right now? 😉