Tag Archives: inspiration

52+: Inspiration from Alexandra

Have you ever wanted to do something really BIG in your life? An experience that changes all your perspectives, an encounter that opens up new possibilities, an adventure that takes you beyond anything you’ve imagined?

Me too.

While I’m focusing on taking smaller steps through the 52Nudges project, my friend Alexandra Epple has taken a huge step–and many steps–forward as she walks 800 km through Spain on the Camino De Santiago in search of her soul’s calling.

Beautiful Alexandra taking a leap of faith.

And I’m following her. Not literally (though maybe someday I’ll make it there), but through her blog and Facebook posts. I invite you to do the same. Maybe trekking the Camino De Santiago isn’t your dream, but I think we’ll all be inspired to find and pursue our own as we follow Alexandra on her amazing Spirit Journey.

 

Nudged: Draw something to manifest x5

Backstory: I think my original idea was to use this space in my office—the big white board I have on one wall and look at every day—to visualize something I want in my life. I’m not entirely sure what I meant by “x5”. Could be I wanted to draw a new image each day of the work week, or am I supposed to draw five different images that represent one dream? I’ll figure it out.

Please remember, I am a writer, not an artist, so don’t expect this to be pretty. 🙂 I hope this Nudge will be fun—and fruitful!

What Happened: I brainstormed what I might want to manifest. Breaking my Life into categories, I noted a few things under each. For Work, I want to finish a big personal project (maybe draw images of the final printed version). For Mind/Body, I want to reach that long-sought-after goal weight (I envisioned drawings of the scale with my “magic” number) and get in some replenishing naps. For self-care, I want to be gifted with some really nice PJs, both cozy flannels and something that feels feminine and luxurious.

Really? These are the big “dreams” I want to manifest for myself? Who is this person?!?

I took a step back mid-week to mull this over. Sure, things like winning the lottery so that I could feel financially secure would be lovely, and taking steps toward being more financially secure is a worthy goal. But a “dream”? Hardly.

Where did my big dreams go? What happened to being recognized for my creative work and feeling successful and finding true love? (That last item on my bucket list got checked off, by the way.) None of the items on my initial list are the least bit exciting. How depressing is this?

It crossed my mind that 50-something women don’t dream. The Big Things in Life are those we hope for in our 20s and 30s, when fame and fortune and achievement and recognition seemed all-important. I don’t, honestly, want to be living a Rich & Famous lifestyle, but every March I still imagine my Oscar acceptance speech (“I’d like to thank the Academy…”).

The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to imagine manifesting something “impossible”. So here’s what I ended up drawing:

Starting at top left, my rendition of the Pulitzer Prize Gold Medal, followed by my work at #1 on The New York Times’ Best Sellers List, and at the bottom a check for $250,000.00.

What this represents to me is being recognized for my writing, for my creativity, for my connecting people through my work. I have no idea what kind of work this might be, but I don’t feel that’s my job right now. My job is to state (or draw) my wishes to the Universe, then step back and let the Universe do its thing.

The Ah-Hah: Honestly, I felt disappointed in myself this week. I want to dream big again. I want to feel inspired and motivated and excited. What will it take to do this? I don’t know yet, but I’m determined to find that “impossible” goal and have fun going for it.

Nudged: Plant something

Backstory: Well, crap. This is clearly a Nudge from the original list, before I did some other Nudges that helped me gain clarity on how much I do not like gardening. Isn’t one of the “rules” of nudging that it has to be “fun”?

Ugh.

But…I have been thinking it would be nice to plant a new rose bush in the backyard, to have fresh cut flowers without having to spend the extra money at the market. And the blueberry bushes are thriving, despite lack of attention, so maybe another one would work. Or a new herb plant for the kitchen window?

I am feeling anti-enthusiastic about this week’s task. But I drew it, so I must do it.

What Happened: I spent much of this week looking for ways to wiggle out of this. I mean, really. I had no desire to go to the garden center, pick something out, and dig in the dirt just to check this off. Maybe I could get “creative” about this one. Maybe I could “plant my feet” into some intention? Maybe I could use my last “pass” and choose another Nudge for the week? (Although by the time I thought of this, much of the week had gone by.) I even considered fudging about completing it, which is 100% in opposition to what this 52Nudges experience is about.

This morning this Nudge continued to hang over my head, taking up mental space as I worked, ran laundry, and tried to distract myself with busyness. I really don’t want to do any gardening. The thought of wandering the garden center for inspiration doesn’t elicit any good feelings from me. But what “seed” might I “plant”?

Ah. Hah.

On my to do list is visiting my oldest friend. After her family moved out of state when I was eight, we became pen pals, and we continue to keep in close touch via letters, emails, and now text messages. We’ve also managed to get together in person several times over the decades. The last visit was for my wedding, coming on eight years ago. I want to see her. I want to spend time in her company. I want to reminisce and catch up and share and dream. I want to do all of this before it’s “too late”.

I don’t know where the money or the time will come from, since both right now are committed to other things. But…I can plant the seeds and make my intention to do this known.

So I called my travel agent and asked her to keep an eye out for screaming deals on airfare.

And I texted my friend and asked her when would be the best times of year to come for a visit.

I don’t know how or when I’ll do this, it might even have to wait till next year, but I feel encouraged that the intention is now in motion.

The Ah-Hahs: That line about “Maybe I could get ‘creative’ about this one.” I just laughed (with delight) at myself. I started out dreading this Nudge, then found a way to have it help me manifest something I really want to do.

How fun and amazing is that?

 

Nudged: Visit Michael’s; wander and spend just $10

Backstory: I am glee-ful having drawn this Nudge today! Michael’s stores are those big warehouses filled with art and crafts supplies, frames, fun home decorations, and just about everything you need to inspire creativity. I am pumped! Will I pick up paints, stickers, marked-down holiday decorations? Fun! The biggest challenge may be keeping to the $10 limit.

What Happened: I couldn’t wait, so I popped into Michael’s early afternoon on Sunday. Everywhere I looked I found goodies, from artificial flowers I could turn into wreaths and pretty papers on which I could write letters to far-flung friends, to an array of accouterments for baking and cake/cookie decorating. Danger zone! I wandered every aisle in search of creative inspiration and the thing that my whole body said, “I want that!”

A few of the items were over my budget (which I was tempted to blow a couple of times), but I stuck to the confines of the Nudge. Finally I picked up two rolls of pretty ribbon for gift-wrapping—and put one back. I snagged a mold for making pineapple-shaped ice cubes for a friend who is the ultimate hostess (pineapples are a symbol of hospitality) and a sheet of super-cute ladybug stickers for another friend (it has to do with the line Diane Lane says in the movie Under the Tuscan Sun: “Ladybugs, Katherine…lots and lots of ladybugs”). I kept a tally in my head and figured the coupon I had would allow one more small item, so I added some cute gift tags.

My total purchase after discounts and coupon: $10.70. Score!

Ah-Hah: I was really pleased with myself when I left the store. But Monday morning, as I reexamined my modest haul, I noticed a trend. Did you see it?

Every item I purchased is for someone else.

Now, this isn’t all bad. I do love finding “perfect” gifts for friends and I love taking the time to create a beautifully wrapped package. But did I really not find one thing I wanted for myself?

Apparently not.

Actually, the more I thought about it, I realized my motivation was less about picking up something I was excited about and more about how would I fulfill the spending $10 part of the Nudge.

Interesting.

I was tempted to keep for myself the two items I’d purchased as gifts. Sure, I could use both, but then I imagined my friends’ delight upon receiving them, and tucked them away for the next birthday.

I thought back over my wanderings, trying to remember what had caught my eye. Candles. Stickers. Seasonal decorations. Beautiful fake flowers that look quite real. All those cookie cutters and cake-decorating kits.

I’m thinking I may go back in a couple of weeks and take another look. And maybe I’ll return a couple of weeks after that. But instead of going with the intention of spending a certain amount, I think I’ll wait until I see something that I really want, and then buy it for myself.

For those of you who celebrate: I wish you a Happy Kwanzaa! May Light, Happiness, and Peace be yours in the new year.

Nudge: Visit Michael’s; wander and spend just $10

Backstory: I am glee-ful having drawn this Nudge today! Michael’s stores are those big warehouses filled with art and crafts supplies, frames, fun home decorations, and just about everything you need to inspire creativity. I am pumped! Will I pick up paints, stickers, marked-down holiday decorations? Fun! The biggest challenge may be keeping to the $10 limit.

P.S. Several options for you on this one. Is there a hobby you used to love to do as a kid, or one you’ve always been curious about? Go to that store! Feeling the need to get your green thumb dirty, even though it’s cold outside? Then head to the local nursery and check out what you can plant that will thrive inside. Browse the specialty cookbooks that are in the sale bin, wander a Goodwill or antiques shop, check out the librarian’s picks at your local branch (that one is free, so spend your $10 on a cup o’ tea and a nibble to enjoy while you’re reading). Have fun with this Nudge! I know I will.  🙂

For those of you who celebrate: I wish you a Merry Christmas!

Nudged: Purchase a new nail polish color

Backstory: I have a small confession. One of my “crazy” dream jobs is to be the person who creates the names on nail polishes. Just imagine: I’d get to research trends, expense mani-pedis, create fun puns all day long—and get paid for it! I’m not sure how to go about putting myself in the running for open positions (Hello, Sally Hansen!), but for now I can spice things up with a hot new color. 🙂

What Happened: While waiting for a prescription to be filled on Monday, I wandered the nail polish aisle. Naturally I was drawn to the peaches and corals, and this season, the reds, but I already have an adequate selection of those in my little basket at home. So I decided to go a different route. Instead of shopping for a color, I shopped for a name, for something I want to live up to. There is one called “Fearless” (perfect!), but it was too similar to reds already in my collection, so I passed.

Alas, I didn’t fall in love with anything I saw in that first shopping excursion. So late Tuesday morning I took myself out for a break from work and walked to another neighborhood drug store. I went back and forth down the aisle, considering names and colors and prices. Did I really want to spend $9 on one bottle? Not really. Did I want to risk spending under $2 on a cheap brand? Not really. I finally narrowed my selection to two options: “Good as Blue” and “Rags to Riches”. Both are outside of my normal palette, and I thought both could be fun to manifest in the days ahead. Which one? I liked the blue color better but the purple name better. Lucky for me, they were on sale, and I got two for about the price of one. Score!

I put the Good for Blue on my nails after lunch. It’s fabulous. It’s out there. I imagine my grandmother, who only wore clear and pale pinks that I can recall, rolling her eyes. Does this make me look younger and hipper, or older and pathetic? I don’t care!

Late Wednesday, just before shutting down for the day, I checked out the Sally Hansen website and found these quotes:

“You can do something about anything. You can and must improve constantly.” – Sally Hansen, Los Angeles Times, 1934

“Beauty to a woman in power. Power to believe in herself.” – Sally, Los Angeles Times, 1934

Did you know the company was founded in 1946 by Sally herself? It isn’t just a brand name. She launched with just two nail products, and today over 300 shades are distributed in over 55 countries. Way to go, Sally!

Ah-Hahs: I spent quite a bit of time exploring the Sally Hansen website and learned this on the About page:

“In a time when women ran households not companies, Sally defied husbands, parents, and society in general, to create the life and beauty she wanted for herself, by herself.”

What a fascinating woman! She and Estee Lauder and Helena Rubenstein (also real people, not just brand names) were pioneers, trail-blazers, and role models.

I encourage you to read Sally’s full story here and think about how she can inspire you. For me, in the moment, I decided to “go for it.” I couldn’t find a link to job listings or any kind of Careers page on the site, so I emailed them through the general Contact page. Maybe they hire freelancers. Maybe their creative staff works out of San Francisco and they’re looking for someone just like me. Maybe they will ignore me altogether and I’ll never hear back. What matters most to me, though, is that I got up the courage to ask.

I’m opening my own doors, thank you very much. And thank you, Ms. Hansen (Can I call you Sally?) for inspiring me.

52+: Inspiration from Mrs. Pollifax

Maybe a year ago, a good friend recommended I check out the Mrs. Pollifax series of books by Dorothy Gilman. Since her past recommendations have served me well, I didn’t bother to ask what it was about, I just added the first, The Unexpected Mrs. Pollifax, to my long list of books to read some day.

Well….

Mrs. Pollifax is a widow in her 60s who spends a lot of her time volunteering and being very sensible, “too sensible, perhaps”. When she goes for her annual checkup, her doctor remarks that she is in fine physical health, but she seems to have lost a bit of her glow. He asks, “Isn’t there something you’ve always longed to do, something you’ve never had either the time or freedom for until now?” And she answers…

“When I was growing up—oh, for years—I planned to become a spy.” *

Of course, this is ridiculous, and everyone has a good laugh over it. But her spontaneous answer sticks with her. As she heads home, she takes into account how unused and purposeless she has felt, for far too long. So she decides to do something unexpected.

I think you can understand how I was completely hooked. Let’s see, a woman in middle-age who feels there must be more to life asks some big questions, takes some crazy risks, puts herself out into the world to try things she’s never before imagined for herself, and finds her new self. (One might say she nudges herself.) The adventure that follows is thrilling, humorous, and touching.

Although the story is a bit dated (first published in 1966), the sentiments ring true today. If you are looking for something absolutely delightful to read, I encourage you to check this out. Maybe it will inspire you to do something unexpected.

 

*This isn’t really a spoiler, as this line is from page 3.

Nudged: Visit a new-to-me bookshop (again)

Backstory: What the…?! Didn’t I already…? Yes!

I must have put the wadded-up piece of paper back into the bowl, because this was one of my earliest Nudges. Ha! (Read the original Nudged post here.)

I could have tossed it, but the “rules” say I “have” to do what I’ve drawn, and I don’t want to waste one of my remaining passes.

The really crazy thing is that I am going somewhere this coming week that will be capital-p Perfect for this Nudge. No coincidences here!

Meanwhile, if you’re new to this site, take a look at the original “Visit a new-to-me bookshop” Nudge for inspiration for what you might do this week. You might go to the charming neighborhood shop and browse a section that’s not your usual destination (Poetry instead of Mysteries, or Biographies about grown-ups for you instead of YA and Children’s Lit for your kids). If books aren’t your thing, maybe you can go to a music shop or a hobby shop or a spice shop. I hope you will Nudge yourself out of your “nest” and expand your horizons. More than that, I hope you will have some FUN this week!

What Happened: Greetings from Portland, Oregon! If you are a bibliophile like me, you now know why this Nudge (a repeat) was absolutely perfect for this week: Portland is the home of Powell’s Books, the world’s largest independent book store. The funny part is, when I planned our get-outta-town vacation, I had not included this on our list of things to do and see. Yet Powell’s to me is like the god of all book stores, the Mother Ship, my Mecca.

 

I could have easily spent a full day there, wandering, touching, learning, exploring. The Rare Book Room itself was worth the whole trip. Naturally, I’d planned to just look. Naturally, I left with a bag of new books. 🙂

The Ah-Hahs: My husband and I work long hours and long days for long stretches of time. We take on a lot of responsibilities in both our jobs and personal lives. We were desperate for a vacation, but couldn’t come up with some place where we really really wanted to go, so Portland happened on a whim. We had a great time, but I think we need to be more intentional about how we spend our vacation time and dollars. We’re starting to talk about what might be our other Meccas, including places we want to see and experience while we’re physically able (time is not our friend on this). Machu Picchu comes to mind. A return to Paris. A walking trip through the Cotswolds. A long visit with my oldest girlfriend.

What is your Mecca? Can you start today planning how you might get there?

In addition to visiting Powell’s, we also wandered the fabulous Japanese Garden. We have a fabulous Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park, about 15 minutes from home, a place we’ve visited…never. In my 10 years in the city, in his 20-plus, we’ve never once set foot inside the gates. They even have days when entry is free to city residents. No excuses!

So, in addition to creating a list of far-flung places we want to visit, we’re making a list of places we might discover on a stay-cation: historical walking tours, the city’s “best” donuts/signature cocktails/brunch, the coolest spots for people-watching.

I hope you’ll share with me some of your inspirations, then watch for some of those to appear on the List for future Nudges.

52+: Inspiration from the world’s oldest solo sky diver

Kathleen WoodsLast night I slept for ten hours straight. In itself, that’s a good thing; I haven’t been sleeping well lately, and I needed the rest.

But the bigger picture is I’m still looking for that so-far-elusive something that makes me want to leap out of bed in the morning. A work project, a hobby, a passion. Something.

As I scanned the day’s news, this story on BBC.com came to my attention. Ms. Dilys Price, at 86, is the world’s oldest solo sky diver. She started the sport when she was just two years older than I am now. And she recently embarked on a new career.

Here’s the link to the brief story and video about her.

I have no interest in sky diving, however, I want some of what she has.

Take a look, consider Ms. Price’s advice, and think about what you might want for yourself. Then, let’s figure out how to do it.

 

52+: Inspiration from senior executive coach and leadership expert Charmaine McClarie

Kathleen WoodsThe email’s subject line read:

“Create the Career (and Life) You Deserve”

I receive so many pitches that under normal circumstances I would skim over a message like this. But there was something about this that caught my attention. Maybe it was because it spoke to what I have been working on for myself through the 52Nudges. Maybe it was because I was feeling stuck in that moment and wanted something to push me to the next level. Maybe it was because it came from a woman I genuinely like, trust, and respect.

Fifteen or so years ago I signed up to take language classes at the Alliance Française de Pasadena. The timing, some friends thought, was odd, since I’d just returned from a trip to France, had no specific plans to return, so had no good “reason” for investing time and money in classes. But I had fallen in love with the language and the culture, and I wanted to learn more. I wanted to exercise my brain in new ways. I wanted to make new friends. Looking back, I now see it was one of my first Nudges.

One of the friends I made was Charmaine McClarie. At the time we were too busy trying to conjugate verbs and decipher the key to words’ genders to get to know each other outside of class. But we became friendly enough to exchange contact info and keep in touch across the years and the miles after my move to San Francisco.

Over time I learned more about Charmaine’s work as a senior executive coach and leadership expert. Charmaine has experienced remarkable success with her company, the McClarie Group. For example, over the past two decades, 98% of her clients have been promoted within 18 months of working with her.

Ninety-eight percent. Wow.

That was enough to convince me to sign up for her newsletter, and I’ve benefited from her insights and advice on how to improve my business.

So, yes, I opened her latest email and was greeted with:

“We’re halfway through 2018. Are you where you want to be in your career?”

To which I replied, “Um, no.”

What followed was information about her workshop at the upcoming (September 14–16) Watermark Weekend for Women*. Watermark is the Bay Area’s largest membership organization dedicated to increasing the number of women in leadership positions and supporting the success of senior executives, emerging executives, and entrepreneurs. Charmaine will be a featured facilitator at the program, where women will be working on updating and improving their tools—including LinkedIn profiles and résumés—to position themselves for success.

I have a commitment that weekend, but will be keeping an eye out for other opportunities. Meanwhile, I used this as an excuse to catch up with Charmaine and interview her about her work helping women reinvent themselves and her own journey of professional transformation. Here are some highlights from our chat and my takeaways (in italics). I hope you’ll find some inspiration here.

  • Charmaine first moved to Los Angeles to support her husband’s career. After the first year of missing her core friends, she found she was feeling depressed, wondering, “Who needs me?” She realized that there was a gift in having friends all over the map. “I am a global citizen, and I am committed to nurturing and maintaining those relationships,” she told me. “You need to create community for yourself.” I am one of the beneficiaries of her practice of this, and it’s something I strive to do as well. You never know who you’ll meet (maybe in French class) or how they’ll impact your life.
  • Charmaine started out in politics, working on local and national campaigns. Eventually she moved into the corporate world, but always knew she would one day have her own business. She just didn’t know what it would be. In the meantime, she thought about what she needed to learn (understanding profits and losses, for example) and looked for ways to gain experience through her various roles and positions. “Through my assignments I got my real-life MBA,” she said. Always be on the lookout for opportunities to learn and grow, even if you don’t yet know your destination.
  • As people took notice of her work and her movement up the corporate ladder, leaders starting asking her for advice. “We have a female executive who’s going to speak to the board and she’s pregnant—we don’t know what to do” was one request she received. “I helped prep her so she’d have executive presence,” Charmaine said, and soon she was being asked to do more and more coaching—in addition to her day job. But it was not enough. “I’d apply for assignments, for opportunities, and be told ‘you’re too big for your britches’,” she said. There were no role models, no one walking around the halls who looked like her. “I wanted to go places in the company, but the company was not ready for me,” she said. So she started to think about what she could do differently. When the environment you’re working in is not growing with you, it’s time to move.
  • “I knew I wanted to help people successfully navigate the executive arena,” she said, but wasn’t completely clear how she might do that. “I wrote out a list of my strengths and weaknesses one night. I woke up the next morning, and I knew what I was going to do,” she said: “I want to be in the world what I wanted for myself.” She opened her own boutique consulting firm. Attorneys were her first clients; other professionals—then companies—soon came to her for help. Be in the world what I want for myself. That’s so powerful—and exciting!
  • “Start the day off with gratitude” is how she responded when asked how she nudges herself. She also finds inspiration in the New York Times’ obituaries, which she reads every day, taking note of what marks people left on the planet that she didn’t know about, that have impacted her life. “Look into the future,” she said to me. If I could read my own obituary, and see what mark I’d made on the planet, “What advice would you give to yourself?”
  • What advice does she give to women who are looking to make changes? “Imagine if life could be just the way you wanted, if nothing was in your way and you had no fear,” she said. “Who would you be and what would you be doing? What time would you get up in the morning? Taste it, touch it, feel it.” If I was fearless, what might I do today? (Do it.)

To learn more about Charmaine’s work, visit mcclariegroup.com.

*I do not receive any compensation or consideration for promoting this event.