Backstory: This Nudge is about more than just amping up my exercise routine. It’s about getting OUT. It’s about resting my brain. It’s about taking deeper breaths and taking in breathtaking scenery. It’s about moving forward, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
I’m not sure yet whether I’ll use this Nudge to meet up with a friend for a catching-up session, or go on a quiet, meditational walk by myself.
Maybe I’ll do both.
Backstory: This is all about one thing: self care. I should put that in caps: SELF CARE! I suck at this. Oh, I’m great at taking care of others. I call to check in on friends and family members, send notes in sympathy and appreciation, deliver the occasional small gift, remember the milestone events big and small, and drop off flowers, sometimes anonymously. (See the “Do a Fairy Deed” Nudge in April.) But do nice things for myself? Not so much…up until now….
What Happened: I wasted no time on this one. Right after I drew the Nudge on Sunday, I headed to the grocery store, added $5 worth of chamomile blossoms to my cart, and popped them into a vase when I got home. This is what greeted me at when I sat down to work on Monday morning:
This sweet bouquet became the focal point of my desk for the week, providing a bit of colorful cheeriness and a slightly earthy fragrance that I found—not surprisingly, for chamomile—calming.
The side benefit is that I got inspired to clean up the space around it. This is in keeping with the “shine your sink” practice taught by the FlyLady. Basically, you start with some small thing (cleaning the kitchen sink), get that cleaned up, then slowly expand your efforts until a whole area (counters, stove top…) is looking good. (Check out the FlyLady’s website for lots of great free advice and tips.)
I finished a big work project late Tuesday, and, having shredded and filed notes as I worked, I started to see the top of my desk again. Wednesday, I set aside some time to clear it off completely. The beautiful pine not only got dusted, but polished. I rearranged and felt I cleared space for the next project, for a client, or maybe one for myself. It felt like my brain had been dusted and polished in preparation for…well, that’s to be revealed, I suppose.
The Ah-Ha: I need to do a major decluttering in my office, and it’s coming. What’s amazing to me is the impact small steps have. Yes, there’s still a pile on the shelf in front of my desk, but my desk itself is cleared and all prettified. Not wanting to wreck that space, I’m more likely to put things in their places than pile it on the desk tomorrow.
That’s all well and good, yet there’s more to this Nudge. During my meditation time one morning, I was drawn to the tiny details in the buds. (Couldn’t get a good photo, unfortunately.) Talk about inspiration for creating! At first glance, I admired them for the simple beauty of the sweet yellow flowers. But upon closer inspection—I even pulled out a magnifying glass—I discovered incredibly complex shades and shapes.
It struck me that this is what happens in my work. People read the end result and it flows. It looks so simple; how many times have I heard “Anyone can be a writer”? But I know—and other creatives know—all the work that goes into making a final product. All the details, all the nuances, all the experiences and skills and hours of effort that I pour into something to make it ”perfect” to outside eyes. Seeing this in the flowers, acknowledging it, made me also acknowledge and appreciate this for myself.
So, flowers for the office: $5.
Acknowledging and appreciating the intricacies of my work: Priceless.
Backstory: This is something I started working on last year, with mixed results. Some days or weeks I’d be on it, and I felt the impact in my level of calm, my focus. Most days and weeks, though, I was too easily distracted by the things that Life threw at me.
Naturally, I drew this Nudge ahead of a week that included a deadline for a feature article, deadlines for at least three other short articles, events on three weeknight evenings, and, oh, right, I’d committed to volunteering for a client’s day-long conference (which includes my needing to depart my home at 6:15 in the morning to make the commute). Perfect.
But really, when does Life ever stop to allow us to do the things we need/want to do? Um, never. So let’s make this happen.
What Happened: In her book Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, Elizabeth Gilbert shared a conversation with Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön about her observations that people tend to quit their meditation practices just when it gets interesting—i.e., boring, uncomfortable, difficult. But. That’s when the magic comes in. I didn’t know if I’d get to that place in one week’s time, but I was eager to find out.
Day 1: Ten minutes feels like a looong time. As the timer on my phone ticks silently, I sit at my desk with eyes closed, trying to focus. My nose feels assaulted by my perfume, suddenly too strong, and the scented candle I’ve lit. My mind wanders to the to do lists for all the various projects in play. I am acutely aware that there is too much “noise” in my life. Practice. It’s a practice, it’s not supposed to be perfect.
Day 2: This is hard. Last night I got only a few hours of sleep, and I am a wreck today. I am also distracted by my messy (to my mind) surroundings. I want to tear apart my office and make neat little piles of everything so I can go through it all in an orderly fashion. I want to purge my closet, replacing only the items that truly make me look and feel my best. I want to go to the gym and get my blood pumping back up to my brain, but but but…. With all this whirling in my brain, I choose to drop it all and, for 10 minutes, sit in quiet. Be present, be present, says a chorus of gentle voices as my mind again tries to wander. My breathing slows, my spine straightens, my mind clears. So, calmer, more focused and determined, it’s back to work I go.
Day 3: Ten minutes still feels like an eternity. Maybe I should have eased in with increments of five minutes? Still, I can do anything for ten minutes, right? Maybe that’s the point, that I allow my overworked brain to rest for ten minutes a day. In today’s session, I feel called to lay hands on a project that has not been getting a lot of love from me lately. I tell it, “Today we’re going to kick ass!” It’s fun to talk to it like a living entity, and I feel inspired to move it ahead of other tasks on the to do list.
Day 4: Twelve-hour work day, no breaks. I was in my pajamas at 6:30 pm. If I close my eyes for two minutes, I’ll fall asleep.
Day 5: Today is another deadline day and I began my work shift feeling overwhelmed. I did a half-assed five-minute meditation session, and although I would have benefited from more, just that much bolstered my clarity and focus.
Day 6: It’s been another long day, this one filled with household chores. My poor brain aches from the constant mental chatter ranging from random song lyrics and rundowns of to do lists for the various parts of my life (work, social, fitness), to thoughts about family members and friends and concerns for our hurting world. So I light some candles, sit in our quiet living room, and set the timer for a 15-minute catching-up session. A few minutes in, my head drops to my chest and startles me awake. I straighten up, reground my feet, focus on my breathing. I finish the session feeling refreshed, and this strengthens my resolve to keep practicing.
Day 7: We took a spontaneous road trip today, and I dropped the ball on my meditation time. If I continue this, there is something to be said for scheduling it at the same time every day. Could I do that?
The Ah-Hah: Let’s see…ten plus ten plus…I managed to meditate for 50 minutes this week. For reasons that aren’t yet entirely clear to me, this was harder to do than I anticipated. Technically, I failed to meet my goal of 60 minutes or 10 minutes for six days, but I succeeded at nudging myself into trying something new, something I think is beneficial for me. My one week of meditation practice met Pema Chödrön’s definition of interesting, but I didn’t quite make it to the other side, and I’d like to continue so that I can also experience the promised magic.
P.S. If you are interested in starting a meditation practice, the Calm app has some great free and for-a-fee options.
Backstory: This is something I started working on last year, with mixed results. Some days or weeks I’d be on it, and I felt the impact in my level of calm, my focus. Most days and weeks, though, I was too easily distracted by the things that Life threw at me.
Naturally, I drew this Nudge ahead of a week that included a deadline for a feature article, deadlines for at least three other short articles, events on three weeknight evenings, and, oh, right, I’d committed to volunteering for a client’s day-long conference (which includes my needing to depart my home at 6:15 in the morning to make the commute). Perfect.
But really, when does Life ever stop to allow us to do the things we need/want to do? Um, never. So let’s make this happen.