Tag Archives: 52Nudges

Nudging: Answer a call

Backstory: How do you make God laugh? You tell her your plans.

It’s an old joke, but lately it’s felt like much of my life. Between sheltering-in-place (for months and months…), political upheaval and civil unrest (that’s putting it mildly), a family member with COVID (wear your mask!), and the widespread fires and resulting deep layers of smoke, few things have gone as planned. This has included recent Nudges. I drew tasks that I really looked forward to, only to have them kiboshed by forces way out of my control.

Instead of crawling under the covers till it all passes, I decided to get creative this week. I am doing a Nudge that is not off the original list, one that will allow surprise and spontaneity.

“Answer a call” does not mean picking up a call from “Unknown”. It does not mean picking up when I see the caller is someone I really really don’t feel like talking to. Instead, it means listening to myself. Listening to that still, small (and occasionally nagging) voice inside me. And when it says “You should do this,” whatever “this” might be, I have every intention (not “plan”) to drop what I’m doing and…well, you know.

 

Nudged: Purge the underwear drawer

Backstory: I’m trying to think when was the last time I purchased new underwear for myself…. Geez, this is embarrassing. Eight years ago? Time to dump out that drawer and see what’s in there (and what needs to go).

This is part of my whole declutting project, in which I choose one small section to review versus trying to dive in and do a major overhaul all in one weekend. My ultimate intention, of course, is to make sure that what I keep is stuff that makes me feel good.

Maybe you’ll choose to tackle a small section of your closet or the stack of (stained, frayed) kitchen towels or that “junk drawer” that has been the catchall for the last 5/10/20 years. Maybe we’ll discover some long-lost treasures! 🙂

What Happened: I pulled out the drawer and dumped everything onto the bed.

underwear drawer

What struck me was all the black and beige. Am I really that boring?

Other than that, the pile wasn’t too bad. Items are in good condition, everything fits (a miracle, when you consider recent COVID comfort eating), and things weren’t crammed in. I have what I need. I threw out one item and added a half slip (When was the last time I wore a half slip…? No idea.) to the Goodwill box. The rest got neatly organized, and the drawer got returned to its regular spot.

But…back to that “boring” bit. What is up with that? I would love to be the woman who has something soft and lovely against her skin. Something lacy. Maybe something racy. Heck, something with color!

Inspired by this nudge and the fact that in the past couple of months I’ve worked my tail off and had a little extra spending money, I hit the internet. OMG, La Perla–gorgeous! Now we’re talking! Except…$500 for a single bra?!  Hahahaha…I’ll come back to that when I win the lottery.

I next hit up some of the online sales and, for a reasonable price, found a lovely set in a pretty pink lace. I placed the order.

The Ah-Has: From now on, I’m going to refer to this as my “Lingerie” drawer. No more practical, basic, blah. I have what I “need”, so moving forward, I’d rather save my money for something special, something that will last, something that makes me feel special.

Nudging: Purge the underwear drawer

Backstory: I’m trying to think when was the last time I purchased new underwear for myself…. Geez, this is embarrassing. Eight years ago? Time to dump out that drawer and see what’s in there (and what needs to go).

This is part of my whole declutting project, in which I choose one small section to review versus trying to dive in and do a major overhaul all in one weekend. My ultimate intention, of course, is to make sure that what I keep is stuff that makes me feel good.

Maybe you’ll choose to tackle a small section of your closet or the stack of (stained, frayed) kitchen towels or that “junk drawer” that has been the catchall for the last 5/10/20 years. Maybe we’ll discover some long-lost treasures! 🙂

Nudged: Jump rope

Backstory: This nudge came from the list I made of things I loved doing when I was a kid. What makes the timing perfect is I am completely bored by my exercise options. Great opportunity to mix things up!

If jumping rope is not your thing, pick an activity you loved doing as a kid that you haven’t done in a while (coloring, baking cookies, playing dress-up) or pull out that box of old sports gear and get outside to play!

What Happened: Apocalypse 2020. This is what is happening in my neighborhood today:

 

I might pull another Nudge from the bowl today. More likely I’ll just take the pass.

Be safe. Keep calm. Wear your mask.

This too shall pass.

Nudging: Jump rope

Backstory: This nudge came from the list I made of things I loved doing when I was a kid. What makes the timing perfect is I am completely bored by my exercise options. Great opportunity to mix things up!

If jumping rope is not your thing, pick an activity you loved doing as a kid that you haven’t done in a while (coloring, baking cookies, playing dress-up) or pull out that box of old sports gear and get outside to play!

Nudged: Notice something

Backstory: Oooo I love this nudge! It is inspired by artist Jenny Odell. I heard her speak at the In/Visible Talks design+art conference in 2018 (you’ll find the video of her talk on “How to Do Nothing” here), and her suggestion to “notice” things has stuck with me.

Using Jenny’s example, instead of bird-watching–which is a sort of doing, where you look for birds and check them off your list–you shift your attention to bird-noticing. You might listen for different bird songs, take in the brilliant colors in their feathers, watch for different patterns of flight. It’s a practice that encourages me to slow down, quiet myself, focus, and appreciate.

On a vacation, this nudge reminded me to stop on my walks and do a 360, literally turn around in a circle and take in everything around me. What a revelation! I noticed pebbles, clouds, architectural details, and the feel of the breeze on my skin. Another time, while doing my weekly grocery shopping, I slowed my rush to finish the task and noticed how beautifully bizarre fresh produce is. I mean–artichokes! I have a special respect for the first person who figured out how to eat one. (I like mine steamed in beer and dipped in melted butter, btw.)

Another aspect I love about this nudge is the necessary element of surprise. Who knows what I will notice–and be delighted by–this week!

What Happened: Whenever I travel to a new-to-me city, I love to get up really early one morning and walk that city as it wakes up. When you don’t have to navigate auto and pedestrian traffic, you are freed up to notice more of your surroundings. I’ve discovered all sorts of delights.

Lately, walking for exercise has felt to me like a competitive sport. I feel like I have to GET OUT (to lessen the sheltering-in-place cabin fever) and BURN CALORIES (because our gym is closed indefinitely and…well…the comfort food I consumed in the first several months of COVID have caught up with me). But there’s also the added stress of having to dodge fellow walkers. I’ll be walking along and see a family coming toward me, so I’ll step out into the street to allow proper social distancing. Or some maskless yahoo comes toward me, and I scramble to get as much distance as possible between us. Blood pressure waaay up!

Wednesday morning I got up extra early, before the sun peeked over the horizon, and headed out into my neighborhood. My route was pretty much the same one I take any other day, but this time I had it to myself. I didn’t see a single car or person, and as a result, I got to look around. I noticed roofline flourishes I’d never seen before. I noticed who has recently installed solar panels. Instead of looking at gardens or living room setups (this is what I normally look at, to get ideas for my own home), I noticed who has the lights on and wondered who was up with insomnia, a fussing baby, morning prayers, or an idea for a novel that just couldn’t wait. I also noticed smells from brewing coffee and frying bacon (yum) and someone’s pungent marijuana.

It was such a brilliant way to “wake up” to the day that I decided to do it again on Thursday.

It didn’t quite work out as planned. Thursday morning I hit the desk early and, before I knew it, it was past lunchtime. Determined to give it another go, I headed out midafternoon. I was pretty much beating myself up for blowing the nudge when a fantastic purple tree stopped me in my tracks.

Notice-purple-1

I recalled how, early in our quarantine days, a couple of friends had motivated themselves to get outside for walks by setting the intention to find things of a certain color. So that’s what I did. For the last half of my walk, I noticed–and took photos of–everything I could spot in every shade of purple. It was awesome! I’d see something and dash across the street to take a closer look. I’d giggle and whoop when I discovered something new. I shot closeups. I marveled at all the shades. I found lots of flowers, of course, but also pebbles and tiles. Was hoping to find a purple house (this is San Francisco, after all), but no luck. Maybe on the next walk.

The Ah-Hahs: Both of my noticing walks were delightful. Also, when I got home from the purple walk, I realized that for those full 20 or so minutes, I had not once thought of any of the worries I’ve been carrying for weeks.

Nudging: Notice something

Backstory: Oooo I love this nudge! It is inspired by artist Jenny Odell. I heard her speak at the In/Visible Talks design+art conference in 2018 (you’ll find the video of her talk on “How to Do Nothing” here), and her suggestion to “notice” things has stuck with me.

Using Jenny’s example, instead of bird-watching–which is a sort of doing, where you look for birds and check them off your list–you shift your attention to bird-noticing. You might listen for different bird songs, take in the brilliant colors in their feathers, watch for different patterns of flight. It’s a practice that encourages me to slow down, quiet myself, focus, and appreciate.

On a vacation, this nudge reminded me to stop on my walks and do a 360, literally turn around in a circle and take in everything around me. What a revelation! I noticed pebbles, clouds, architectural details, and the feel of the breeze on my skin. Another time, while doing my weekly grocery shopping, I slowed my rush to finish the task and noticed how beautifully bizarre fresh produce is. I mean–artichokes! I have a special respect for the first person who figured out how to eat one. (I like mine steamed in beer and dipped in melted butter, btw.)

Another aspect I love about this nudge is the necessary element of surprise. Who knows what I will notice–and be delighted by–this week!

 

Nudged: Do a Fairy Deed

Background: Some people call it “random acts of kindness”. For whatever reason, years ago I started calling them “Fairy Deeds”. Maybe because it feels like there’s magic in it, as I flit in and out to deliver the gift.

The idea is to give something small that lifts someone else’s spirits. In the past I’ve left a bag with lemons and sugar with a note encouraging the recipient to turn a rough period into lemonade. I’ve mailed scratcher lottery tickets. I’ve cut flowers from my garden, tied them in a bow, and placed them on neighbors’ doorsteps (while engaging in a silly grownup version of “Ding-Dong Ditch” so they found the gift before it had wilted). The anonymous part of doing a Fairy Deed is important to me, in that it doesn’t set up the expectation of reciprocation.

This doesn’t need to be an extravagant act, and in keeping with the 52Nudges rules, it should be “cheap”. But if you have the means and the desire, go for leaving a ginormous tip for the gal who brews your morning coffee with a smile (and looks like she can’t take one more day of this pandemic). Have fun with it…because the secondary gift of this nudge is that it lifts the giver’s spirits too.

What Happened: I got stuck on the “anonymous” part. In the past, that has been important to me. But as I thought about what I most wanted to do this week, I kept coming back to baking something sweet for my neighbors, specifically a Victoria Sponge cake. Several weeks ago I made my first one, shared it with a few households, and subsequently learned that it was one neighbor’s favorites (let’s call him Hank). Okay, then. That’s what I did this week. I baked and cooled the cakes, spread the first with raspberry preserves, placed the second cake on top to make the “sandwich”, and sliced it into individual servings. (Note: A bit of fresh whipped cream is a nice touch.)

Victoria Sandwich

After giving Thor his share (of course), I wrapped up several slices for Hank and his family. I popped next door, left the offering on the mat, rang the doorbell, and dashed–not quite quick enough, because his wife answered before I made it down the stairs. 🙂

It wouldn’t have been a completely anonymous act anyway, since I had once before delivered this particular cake. But there was still that fun element of surprising them.

Now here’s where it gets…um…interesting. Shortly after I got home, I received a text message from Hank’s adult son. Earlier in the week the family had made the decision to bring in 24/7 in-home care and shift Hank to hospice care. I’ve known for several months about Hank’s evolving condition (aging is not for sissies) and have done what I can to support this family. They are doing okay for the most part, but this stage of life is never easy. Hank’s son reported to me that they heard the doorbell ring while he and his dad were in the middle of sharing stories. “That Kathy can bake,” Hank said, as he enjoyed the cake.

The Ah-Hahs: I cried as I typed the above. I am so grateful/relieved that I got that cake to Hank in time for him to fully enjoy it. I hope it helped to remind him and his family of the sweet things in life. That gives me a little peace.

The takeaway for this Nudge is: Don’t Wait! Do that small act of kindness now. You never know how big it might be for the recipient.

Nudging: Do a Fairy Deed

Background: Some people call it “random acts of kindness”. For whatever reason, years ago I started calling them “Fairy Deeds”. Maybe because it feels like there’s magic in it, as I flit in and out to deliver the gift.

The idea is to give something small that lifts someone else’s spirits. In the past I’ve left a bag with lemons and sugar with a note encouraging the recipient to turn a rough period into lemonade. I’ve mailed scratcher lottery tickets. I’ve cut flowers from my garden, tied them in a bow, and placed them on neighbors’ doorsteps (while engaging in a silly grownup version of “Ding-Dong Ditch” so they found the gift before it had wilted). The anonymous part of doing a Fairy Deed is important to me, in that it doesn’t set up the expectation of reciprocation.

This doesn’t need to be an extravagant act, and in keeping with the 52Nudges rules, it should be “cheap”. But if you have the means and the desire, go for leaving a ginormous tip for the gal who brews your morning coffee with a smile (and looks like she can’t take one more day of this pandemic). Have fun with it…because the secondary gift of this nudge is that it lifts the giver’s spirits too.

 

Nudged: Enjoy a fire in the fireplace

Backstory: Before those of you who are living through a normal sweltering summer protest this week’s nudge, let me remind you that where I live, it’s cold. Dark. Damp. Depressing. This nudge comes at the perfect time for me.

At a deeper level, this nudge is about mixing up routines. Instead of “relaxing” in front of the TV night after night, at least one time this week I hope to turn off all electrical devices and enjoy the warmth and beauty of a real-live fire. Maybe I’ll read a book. Maybe I’ll mix up a couple of cocktails and Thor and I will play Gin Rummy. Or maybe I’ll just sit quietly and delight my senses with the crackles and colors of the flames.

If an indoor fire sounds like a special level of Hell right now, you might enjoy an outdoor fire pit. Or find a shady spot to enjoy the sounds of running water. Maybe this is the week you stay up late one night and go outside to watch the fireflies or gaze at the stars. I hope you’ll find something to do that delights your senses.

What Happened: Helluva week for this nudge. News broke this morning of rapidly spreading wildfires and frantic evacuations across the state of California. We’re fine here. Just a lot of smoke, which is nothing compared to what many of our good friends are facing today.

Screen Shot 2020-08-19 at 11.27.20 AM.png

So instead of relaxing in front of our fireplace, I’m going to tidy up the guest room, reach out to friends who might need a refuge, and pray for rain.

Take care of yourselves — and thank our first responders!