Nudged: Take a hard look at calendar, carve out time for me

Backstory: It’s the age-old story of women, isn’t it? We give all our time and energy to taking care of others at jobs and at home, to family members and friends and even strangers. “Me Time” still has a tinge of selfishness to it.

I don’t know about you, but I’m an expert at doing this until my well is completely empty. Then I finally take “me” time when I get run down and sick.

This week’s nudge is designed to change that dynamic. What can I give up? When can I designate time for my projects, my passions?

What Happened: Procrastination. Classic, right? I was busy this week, so this nudge stayed on my to do list, but never made it to the top of the priorities.

Finally, early this morning, I chose to ignore the list of jobs, tasks, followups, emails, calls, etc., that called for my attention and took a long, hot, quiet bath. It felt like a much-needed reboot.

I had an off-site meeting, and when I returned to my desk, instead of jumping right in to the fray, I opened my calendar. It’s still early in the year, so there’s a lot of open space. Why not “schedule” “appointments” with myself? If I had doctor appointments, they’d go down in ink. If I had a client event, same. I pulled out my highlighter and blocked out time.

The Ah-Hahs: Will I keep these commitments to myself? Will I hold this time as sacred? I can’t say for sure, but I’m going to try. I picked Fridays as my time, and then, to further motivate myself, I made a list of things I might do that feed my soul. This includes getting back to my French textbooks and flashcards, giving myself mani-pedis, meeting friends for a walk in the park or a long chat over coffee, spending some time writing letters and working on craft projects, journaling, and more hot baths. It might also include work, but work that is personal, that I do for my own pleasure, not for someone else’s advancement. If I can devote even one hour a week to feeding myself, it will be an improvement.

Can you book some time for just you this coming week? I hope you do.

Nudging: Take a hard look at calendar, carve out time for me

Backstory: It’s the age-old story of women, isn’t it? We give all our time and energy to taking care of others at jobs and at home, to family members and friends and even strangers. “Me Time” still has a tinge of selfishness to it.

I don’t know about you, but I’m an expert at doing this until my well is completely empty. Then I finally take “me” time when I get run down and sick.

This week’s nudge is designed to change that dynamic. What can I give up? When can I designate time for my projects, my passions?

Nudged: Book 4 hikes/walks with 4 different friends

Backstory: What a great way to kick off the new year! Exercise, catch up with friends, get outside.

Although as I type this, I imagine Nudgers in other parts of the world looking out their windows and thinking, “Oh, HELL no!” (Hello, Canadians!)

Maybe this isn’t the right season for you to be out walking, so, as always, figure out which part of this nudge speaks to you and go forth. Maybe this is the week you schedule that free session with the trainer at your gym. Maybe this is the week you schedule coffee and catch-up dates with four old friends. Maybe you commit to four “dates” over the next month with your treadmill or stationary bike. Make it your own.

What Happened: “Piece of cake,” I thought when I first pulled this nudge. “A few emails and text messages, and done!”

Then I read the fine print. This doesn’t ask me to “invite” four friends to go on walks with me, it asks me to “book” those outings.

It took a little more effort and time than anticipated, but I got one friend to join me for an early morning walk during the week, another is scheduled for tomorrow morning (weather permitting), and a third is scheduled for next week. One is penciled in for late in the month, and another has yet to respond to my email. I hope to issue more invitations–and book those dates–soon.

The walk that happened was lovely. Not too strenuous, which allowed for some good conversation. It also allowed us time to take in the scenery:

The deep blue sky. The green trees. Gorgeous!

As a bonus, I got “lost” on my way to our meeting point, which allowed me to marvel over the beauty of Golden Gate Park. Every time I go, it takes my breath away.

The Ah-Hahs: I feel calm this afternoon. Centered. Nothing else I did this week could contribute to that (rather, I should be feeling the opposite). I think it’s the combination of the three elements; not just exercising, not just meeting a friend, not just getting outside. All together.

We’re all so busy. And so, I find I must be intentional about making plans to make outings like this happen. It’s so worth the effort.

P.S. Looking for more inspiration and motivation? Check out Walking the World’s Most Exceptional Trails by Eloise Napier and Great Hiking Trails Around the World by Karen Berger.

Nudging: Book 4 hikes/walks with 4 different friends

Backstory: What a great way to kick off the new year! Exercise, catch up with friends, get outside.

Although as I type this, I imagine Nudgers in other parts of the world looking out their windows and thinking, “Oh, HELL no!” (Hello, Canadians!)

Maybe this isn’t the right season for you to be out walking, so, as always, figure out which part of this nudge speaks to you and go forth. Maybe this is the week you schedule that free session with the trainer at your gym. Maybe this is the week you schedule coffee and catch-up dates with four old friends. Maybe you commit to four “dates” over the next month with your treadmill or stationary bike. Make it your own.

 

Nudged: Thank a writer, artist, or musician

Backstory: I’ve been doing this for a while, reaching out to writers I love and thanking them for sharing their stories, their gifts with me. What’s been really fun is every single one of the people I wrote to–even people with big names and intimidating presences–replied to thank me for writing to them! I know what it’s like to be a lone woman with a computer, who works hard to create something beautiful and hopes–but rarely finds out–if her work has made any kind of difference. It feels good to feel appreciated.

But this nudge not about hoping to get something back. It’s simple gratitude. What was my favorite read of the year? I can look up the author’s website (or maybe find them on goodreads) and send a quick note via email. Which band’s CD has lifted my spirits during long commutes? Did I see some art recently that blew my mind?

Acknowledge. Appreciate. Celebrate! And bonus points to anyone who sends a handwritten note. 🙂

What Happened: It’s a busy week, so I got on this. I thought about who had lifted my spirits recently with their creativity, and the team at the The Great Dickens Christmas Fair came to mind. This is an annual event held in San Francisco where people dress up in Victorian-era costumes and transform a huge warehouse into the streets of London circa 1843. There are shows and shops and meat pies and mulled spice wine! Artisans, actors, musicians, and characters abound and entertain. You can even visit a club dining room and listen to Mr. Dickens himself read excerpts from his latest work, A Christmas Carol. It is delightful, and I am completely de-hum-bugged as soon as I step out of my “real” world and into theirs.

Queen Victoria and Prince Albert greet their subjects at The Great Dickens Christmas Fair.

And so, with a short email to the head office, I thanked them.

The Ah-Hahs: No great revelation on this nudge. Just lots of warm fuzzies.

Happy New Year!

 

 

Nudging: Thank a writer, artist, or musician

Backstory: I’ve been doing this for a while, reaching out to writers I love and thanking them for sharing their stories, their gifts with me. What’s been really fun is every single one of the people I wrote to–even people with big names and intimidating presences–replied to thank me for writing to them! I know what it’s like to be a lone woman with a computer, who works hard to create something beautiful and hopes–but rarely finds out–if her work has made any kind of difference. It feels good to feel appreciated.

But this nudge not about hoping to get something back. It’s simple gratitude. What was my favorite read of the year? I can look up the author’s website (or maybe find them on goodreads) and send a quick note via email. Which band’s CD has lifted my spirits during long commutes? Did I see some art recently that blew my mind?

Acknowledge. Appreciate. Celebrate! And bonus points to anyone who sends a handwritten note. 🙂

Nudged: Learn something new about my city’s history

Backstory: It’s embarrassing to admit, but I have now lived in my “new” city for over a decade and there’s still so much I don’t know about her!

So this week, I am nudging my inner history geek to do some research. I might look into a walking tour (something that I do regularly when I travel, but that languishes on my to do list here), pick up a book, watch a documentary movie, visit our library’s photo archives, or search for old maps.

If you and your city are already well acquainted, take this opportunity to research a city you’ve always wanted to visit. Do a little armchair traveling, and maybe it will inspire your next adventure!

What Happened: This nudge completely tickled my curiosity. Monday morning I thought about what I might like to learn, and started by googling “famous writers in San Francisco”. And down the rabbit hole I went! I learned Robert Frost was born here; the wonderful Lemony Snicket (real name Daniel Handler) is a current resident; Isabelle Allende, Anne Lamott, and Amy Tan live in nearby cities; and Mark Twain (who I knew had visited) worked here as a journalist (the first and last time he was ever fired from a job) for 19 months.

As I read more about Twain’s connection, I learned he stayed at the Occidental Hotel, a luxury hotel that was destroyed in the 1906 earthquake+fire. Robert Louis Stevenson was another famous guest.

Occidental Hotel, San Francisco

It’s also where bartender Jerry Thomas claimed to have invented the martini. There’s a huge debate about who shook or stirred the first martini. Thomas, though, is considered the “father of American mixology”. In 1863, he was earning $100 a week, which, I learned, was more than the vice president of the United States made at the time.

But back to Twain. While staying at the Occidental, he made frequent visits to the Turkish baths just down the street. It was there that he reportedly met a man named Tom Sawyer.

Cool!

The Ah-Hahs: As I skipped around from link to link, learning new tidbits about my beloved city, I gasped, I oohed, I laughed. And I planned. I want to walk in some famous footsteps. So, next date night, I’m going to suggest we visit one of the classic old bars downtown and raise a couple of martinis–to writers and innovators and people who make history. Fun!

To my readers who celebrate, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy Kwanzaa!

Nudging: Learn something new about my city’s history

Backstory: It’s embarrassing to admit, but I have now lived in my “new” city for over a decade and there’s still so much I don’t know about her!

So this week, I am nudging my inner history geek to do some research. I might look into a walking tour (something that I do regularly when I travel, but that languishes on my to do list here), pick up a book, watch a documentary movie, visit our library’s photo archives, or search for old maps.

If you and your city are already well acquainted, take this opportunity to research a city you’ve always wanted to visit. Do a little armchair traveling, and maybe it will inspire your next adventure!

To my readers who celebrate, I wish you a Happy Hanukkah!

Nudged: Go to coffeehouse with educational book; learn something new

Backstory: The full title of this Nudge is “Go to a coffeehouse with an educational book and learn something new.” I’m laughing as I type this. It made for a looong strip of paper for my Nudges jar. But I knew when I included it on The List, I wanted it to be more than simply “Learn something new.”

The inspiration for this Nudge came from a client project I worked on early in the year. It involved a topic–an industry, really–I knew nothing about. I requested a couple of suggestions for books from the client and immersed myself in study. For a couple of intense days, I read, took notes, thought deeply, and then applied what I’d learned to the work.

It was…fun.

I’m looking forward to challenging my brain this week. This is also an excuse to get out of my office, and away from the distractions, so that I can again practice focusing on just one topic at a time.

What Happened: My original plan was to get something at the library, but I found myself at my favorite neighborhood bookshop on Monday with a little extra cash in my pocket, so decided to treat myself to something new. I browsed several sections, including art (maybe), gardening (um, no), cooking (already have too many cookbooks), philosophy (too intense), and U.S. history (I think I know most of this). I ended up in world history, where I briefly considered learning more about the kings of France (cop out!), but instead selected Searching for the Amazons: The Real Warrior Women of the Ancient World by John Man.

Omg, what did I get myself into? Would it be dry and boring? Would it be cheesy or sexist? That afternoon, I cracked it open over lunch and was relieved to discover Man’s writing is approachable, engaging, and delightful.

On Wednesday, I had an appointment with one of my doctors. I left home early and tucked myself into a cozy corner at a bakery across the street that I’d noticed on previous visits. I dove into the book and started taking notes. I was introduced to the long nomadic human history in the “steppes“, the grasslands of Asia. I mumbled “Wow!” (sometimes louder than etiquette dictates) over trivia such as how humans learned how to ride horses sometime around 3500 BC, but the first iron stirrups weren’t introduced till about the 2nd century AD “because a rope looped round the toe did the job.” (Wow.) Back in my office, I googled to learn more about what I’d read, including the famous statue of Athena that once stood in the Parthenon, and the temple to Apollo in Skliros, and the Bassae Frieze, which can now be seen in the British Museum. And Pentheslia, the Amazon warrior who was killed by Achilles….

I am completely geeking out, in the best possible way. 🙂

The Ah-Hahs: One of the aspects I love about my job is I’m constantly learning new things. One of the drawbacks is those topics aren’t always of my choosing. Picking up something pretty random and diving in this week was really fun. I felt…challenged, energized, reawakened, inspired. I enjoyed being a “student” again. So, maybe it’s time to take a closer look at the upcoming class schedule at city college. And then I need to start saving for trips to Greece and England and….