Tag Archives: 52Nudges

52+: Inspiration from Alexandra

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Have you ever wanted to do something really BIG in your life? An experience that changes all your perspectives, an encounter that opens up new possibilities, an adventure that takes you beyond anything you’ve imagined?

Me too.

While I’m focusing on taking smaller steps through the 52Nudges project, my friend Alexandra Epple has taken a huge step–and many steps–forward as she walks 800 km through Spain on the Camino De Santiago in search of her soul’s calling.

Beautiful Alexandra taking a leap of faith.

And I’m following her. Not literally (though maybe someday I’ll make it there), but through her blog and Facebook posts. I invite you to do the same. Maybe trekking the Camino De Santiago isn’t your dream, but I think we’ll all be inspired to find and pursue our own as we follow Alexandra on her amazing Spirit Journey.

 

Nudged: Build “The List” with prompts

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Backstory: I’m gearing up for 52Nudges 2.0, which I plan to launch in September. To do this, I’m reviewing old to do lists and generating new ideas to update The List. When I’ve got a bunch, I’ll type it all up, cut it into strips, roll those strips into balls, and put them into a bowl. Then, each Sunday, I’ll pull one to tackle that week.

Last week I reviewed my Big To Do List and reviewed the musts, the shoulds, the need to dos. This week is all about what I want to do.

I might set a timer for 5 minutes and:

  • take look at course offerings at City College (What do I want to learn?)
  • go online and read up about faraway cities I want to visit some day (Can I get a book about its history? Is there a local cultural center that has programs? Can I get a CD of folk music or a cookbook of cuisine from the library to experience it without the big expense of travel?)
  • list small things I can do for myself (We’re talking self-care: take a hot bath, walk a labyrinth, warm my PJs in the dryer before bed)
  • remember specific activities I loved doing as a kid (Dancing? Reading? Playing games with my friends? What do I want to do again?)

The goal is to find some FUN things to add to the list. And for this week, it’s about brainstorming. I want to let my imagination run wild, then in a couple of weeks I can edit the list for things that really speak to me and for things that fit the 52Nudges parameters (must be able to be completed in a week, not expensive, nudge me out of my comfort zone).

Hope you’ll share some of the items that come up for you.

What Happened: I started by setting my timer for just 3 minutes and jotting down anything I could think of that I loved doing as a kid: baking, playing dress-up, reading Nancy Drew books (and imaging I was Nancy), blowing bubbles, going to the beach, learning new things to earn badges in Girl Scouts, riding horses, talking on the phone with friends and planning what we were going to wear to school the next day. Ha! That last one came out of nowhere and cracked me up. When was the last time I had a phone conversation like that? Shoot, when was the last time I simply enjoyed a looooong phone conversation about everything (or nothing) with a good friend? That’s so going on The List.

I reset the timer and thought about things I could do for myself that fall into the Self Care category: get some really nice body lotion and actually use it, get a real scrub-off-all-the-calluses pedicure, have one-on-one time with each of my siblings, wear the “nice” PJs, create a plan for spiffing up the living room, set aside a night to enjoy a fire in the fireplace. Lots of opportunity here.

Finally, without the timer, I opened a new page and titled it “3 Things I’m Curious About.” And I got only two. Two? Two! What the heck?! Other than San Francisco History and Cake/Cookie Decorating, I couldn’t think of a single class or book or podcast I want to watch. So that’s something I want to explore further.

Ah-Hahs: With all the responsibilities in life, I rarely take time to think about what gives me pleasure, feeds my soul, makes me feel most at peace with myself. And then I rarely take time to do any of these things. This is so much about what 52Nudges means for me. It’s figuring these things out and then doing them. So I’m going to continue brainstorming items for The List, and I’ll share them with you for inspiration. Hope you’ll do the same.

 

P.S. If you haven’t already, sign up to get 52Nudges posts in your email. It’s FREE! Let’s inspire and support each other on this fun adventure. 

 

Nudging: Build “The List” with prompts

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Backstory: I’m gearing up for 52Nudges 2.0, which I plan to launch in September. To do this, I’m reviewing old to do lists and generating new ideas to update The List. When I’ve got a bunch, I’ll type it all up, cut it into strips, roll those strips into balls, and put them into a bowl. Then, each Sunday, I’ll pull one to tackle that week.

Last week I reviewed my Big To Do List and reviewed the musts, the shoulds, the need to dos. This week is all about what I want to do.

I might set a timer for 5 minutes and:

  • take look at course offerings at City College (What do I want to learn?)
  • go online and read up about faraway cities I want to visit some day (Can I get a book about its history? Is there a local cultural center that has programs? Can I get a CD of folk music or a cookbook of cuisine from the library to experience it without the big expense of travel?)
  • list small things I can do for myself (We’re talking self-care: take a hot bath, walk a labyrinth, warm my PJs in the dryer before bed)
  • remember specific activities I loved doing as a kid (Dancing? Reading? Playing games with my friends? What do I want to do again?)

The goal is to find some FUN things to add to the list. And for this week, it’s about brainstorming. I want to let my imagination run wild, then in a couple of weeks I can edit the list for things that really speak to me and for things that fit the 52Nudges parameters (must be able to be completed in a week, not expensive, nudge me out of my comfort zone).

Hope you’ll share some of the items that come up for you.

 

 

Nudged: Review the Big To Do List

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Backstory: I’m getting ready to re-boot my 52Nudges project in the fall, so I’m looking for new Nudges I want to include. Activities that are fun, that nurture my creativity, that feed my spirit, and that…well…just need to get done. If you have been on this journey with me for a while, you also know these tasks need to be things that can be done within one week, that aren’t expensive, and that make me somewhat uncomfortable, thereby nudging me out of old ruts.

So this week I’m pulling up the Big To Do List, a 4-page, 2-columned, constantly growing document that lives on my desktop. Yikes. I’m going to look at all the items I’ve put down over the past year-plus and see what I want to give some extra attention to.

Over the next couple of weeks I’ll be doing some other exercises to come up with tasks that will go onto my 52Nugdes 2.0 list. I hope you’ll join me in this process as you clarify what you want to put on your list. I’ll be sharing mine, and I hope you’ll share some of yours.

Let’s do this! 🙂

What Happened: Late afternoon Monday, I pulled out an old folder and discovered a to do list from 2013. You know what was on there? A lot of the same darn things that are on my 2019 list: turn my “office” into a “creative space”, lose weight, pay off all the bills, finish editing my book and get it into the hands of readers. GEEZ!

I stayed up till 1:00 am that night, having dug out similar lists from 2015 and 2017, along with scraps of paper where I’d scribbled reminders to myself to add more tasks to the to do list. I did a lot of thinking. Let’s be honest, I did a lot more self-loathing. Have I really made so little progress?

I figure I have two options: (1) Take every list and scrap of paper, run it all through the shredder, and just live my life. (2) Condense all those lists and scraps into one document, prioritize, break down those big goals into smaller steps, and get to work.

Option 1 is very appealing. But I know what I am: A list-maker. A manifestor. A finisher. I derive distinct pleasure from crossing something off the list.

A friend recently introduced me to Growing Gills, a book by Jessica Abel. I’ve been told it’s about helping creative people achieve creative goals, in part, my friend told me, by picking ONE thing to do at a time and finishing it. This makes sense to me. Clearly my current method of trying to do a little bit of everything, every day, is not working. Yes, some little things get done (like the laundry), but overall I feel scattered and frazzled. I have all these other big things (like find my purpose through my work) I want to do in life that stay on the list, that hang over me like a threatening weight, and I feel the need to make progress.

Ah-Hahs: Maybe I’ll take some of those big goals and break them down into smaller steps, steps that could become Nudges. Maybe I’ll work those Nudges into my plans for the coming year and make it possible to feel that I’m making real progress. Hmmm….

Here are some of the Nudge ideas that came from reviewing my to do lists (yes, plural) and from the thinking that happened this week:

  • Plan a picnic (I love picnics, yet this has sat on my list for two summers!)
  • Do something historical (take a historical walking tour in my own city or google a historical event and learn more about it)
  • Pick something old from the Big To Do List and break it down (and add some of those steps to the Nudges bowl)
  • Book a month of walks/hikes (4 weekends) with different friends (helps me meet fitness and social goals)
  • Spend 15 minutes/day cross-stitching
  • Explore 5 blogs and comment
  • Go to a speakeasy for date night
  • Invite the nice neighbors over for wine & cheese (we have good intentions to get better acquainted, we just need to do this)

More ideas coming! I’d love to hear what’s making its way onto your list of Nudges.

 

Nudged: Buy a new houseplant

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Backstory: I have no recollection of why I put this on the list. It doesn’t feel dramatic or uncomfortable, other than spending money on things like new houseplants is way down at the bottom of the to do list. We have plenty of plants, and I like having fresh flowers in my office and bedroom especially. Hmmmm…. This one could be a dud.

What Happened: Early in the week, I took a tour around our home and evaluated the plants. It was interesting to me how many of them came with backstories, including several we received as housewarming and hostess gifts from dear friends. I do a pretty decent job of keeping everything alive. But there are no plants in our bathroom, and it seems a pretty obvious spot. Good indirect light, lots of steam. Or may I need to move things around, see if one of the plants would do better in a different spot. Hmmm…

I continued to mull while I ran errands, then was hit with inspiration at the grocery store. Five dollars at Trader Joe’s. I’ve spent more on a large mocha! For five measly dollars, I now have this sweet succulent, with its elegant dark-pink edging, for my bathroom counter.

That’s the space I decided needed some love. Every so often (like when we were expecting company), I’d buy some fresh flowers for that spot, but before this morning, I had a vase with dried flowers there. Now it’s fresh and happy and makes me smile.

The Ah-Hah: Let me be honest: Those dried flowers had been sitting there for at least six months and were covered with dust. Gross. Now I have something live and pretty and low-maintenance (it’s a succulent, so I should be able to keep it alive with minimal effort).

So, nothing earth-shattering learned from this week’s Nudge, other than a reminder to look around my home once in a while and think about how I might treat it like the lady she is. And think about how I spend my money. A $5 mocha is a nice treat once in a while and will make me feel peppy for a few hours. But a pretty plant that will last for months (if not years) feels like a bargain.

Nudging: Buy a new houseplant

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Buon giorno! I’m back from a fun and relaxing vacation, hoping to hang on to my calm new perspective for a while and use this clarity to help me move forward discovering and pursuing what most feeds my soul. In the next few weeks I’m going to be revisiting everything Nudging and thinking and planning for a new round of 52 Nudges. I hope you’ll join me! In the meantime, I pulled the following to get me back in the Nudging groove. Here we go!

Backstory: I have no recollection of why I put this on the list. It doesn’t feel dramatic or uncomfortable, other than spending money on things like new houseplants is way down at the bottom of the to do list. We have plenty of plants, and I like having fresh flowers in my office and bedroom especially. Hmmmm…. This one could be a dud.

 

Seeking guest bloggers! Would you be interested in sharing your experience with a Nudge? Or maybe introducing a Nudge of your own, letting us all follow along, then following up with your “What Happened” and “Ah-Hahs”? I’d love to include some new voices in this. Send me a message here and I’ll get back to you with details.

Re-Nudging: Wear red lipstick every day

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I’m on vacation–a real, fully unplugged vacation! While I’m out, I’m re-running a couple of favorite Nudges. You might try them again for yourself, read them simply for entertainment, or use them as inspiration to try one of your own new Nudges this week. When I get back, keep an eye on this space for news about a rebooting of 52Nudges in the fall. I’d love to have you join me. And if you haven’t already, sign up to receive the posts in your inbox. Subscribing is FREE. Cheers! — Kathleen

Backstory: I laughed out loud when I unscrolled this one. The idea behind this Nudge is to make me feel powerful, to boost my self-esteem, to embolden myself. Embolden—is that a great word or what? That’s all good, but what made me laugh is I picked this on week when likely the only two other beings I’ll see are my husband and dog. Alright, I’ll have to go to the grocery store one day, and I am scheduled for a hair trim on Friday, but otherwise, this is for me. Ah-hah. This is for me.

What Happened: This one almost derailed my whole 52Nudges project. I was extremely uncomfortable going out in red lipstick, and I did go out for errands and other walks around the neighborhood. Red lipstick isn’t me, and I felt like a fraud. If you look at my closet, it’s filled with pastels and corals and cheery colors of spring. Not fade-into-the-background, but certainly not in-your-face colors. I don’t know what I was expecting to learn from this challenge, but…well, nothing came of it….

The Ah-Hah: …Or maybe something did. Maybe the lesson is recognizing what is right for me. Despite what all the fashion magazines claim, maybe a bold red isn’t what I need to feel bold. Maybe I’m at my boldest and best in a warm coral that says “Hello. This is me.”

 

Re-Nudging: Pre-dinner drinks outside

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I’m on vacation–a real, fully unplugged vacation! While I’m out, I’m re-running a couple of favorite Nudges. You might try them again for yourself, read them simply for entertainment, or use them as inspiration to try one of your own new Nudges this week. When I get back, keep an eye on this space for news about a rebooting of 52Nudges in the fall. I’d love to have you join me. And if you haven’t already, sign up to receive the posts in your inbox. Subscribing is FREE. Cheers! — Kathleen

Backstory: I love eating outside: a picnic in the park, dinner under the stars, morning tea on the front porch. When I lived in Southern California, all three meals might be enjoyed at my little bistro table in the front yard, and in the summers I hosted the occasional dinner party under my flowering crepe myrtle tree. Bliss. Now that I live in San Francisco, the colder weather makes this less appealing, and I’ve missed it.

Also, when I’ve traveled in Europe, I’ve appreciated the ritual of transition between working hours and the dinner hour. Some of my favorite meals in France were preceded by a glass of wine, good bread, and bowls of olives and goat cheese, plus light conversation. Too often at home I go straight from the stress at my desk to the scramble of dinner prep, to scarfing down dinner, to collapsing into bed.

There has to be a better way.

What Happened: Naturally, I drew this challenge on a particularly cold and gloomy week, so forget taking in a dazzling sunset. It was also a week when my husband worked some long and late hours. I put it off, hoping circumstances would be more favorable, but at some point I just had to bite the bullet and get it done.

I poured some good wine, opened a can of black olives, and set everything on a pretty silver tray. Bundled up in a thick scarf and down parka, I made my way to the front door. My husband was still at work, so it was just me this time. I sat on the front step, sipped some wine, and…watched the storm clouds go by. When was the last time I watched the clouds? I honestly can’t remember, but easily 10 years ago. How sad is that? I felt myself taking longer and deeper breaths, slipping into almost a meditative state as I released the tensions of a full day of work. I resisted the urge to check text messages, although on another occasion this would be the perfect time for a brief catching-up call with a friend. Or better yet, I could invite a local friend to join me. Just 15 minutes did the trick. After his own very stressful workday, my darling husband was greeted by a glass of wine, a bowl of olives, and, best of all, a calm wife who set the tone for his evening.

The Ah-Hah: I want to do this more regularly. On dark, cold nights, a candle (or several) would be a nice addition to make my porch a cozier refuge. I’d also like to try this in the morning (sans alcohol, of course), to watch the sunrise and begin my day with calm. It’s not a big production, it doesn’t take a lot of time, but I can feel a big positive impact.

Nudged: Stash $s in pockets

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Backstory: Maybe 25 years ago, a friend introduced me to this idea: Get a stack of dollar bills and “stash” them away in the pockets of coats, purses, hidden spots, etc., so that months later, when I find them again, I’ll be surprised and delighted. (I think it also had something to do with attracting abundance, but that part of it is lost to my memory.)

Imagine this: A couple of seasons from now, you’re heading out to run errands or meet a client or take care of some task that has you all stressed out. You hustle into your jacket, hoping it still fits after the indulges (aka stress eating) of the previous months, grab your purse, grab your keys, double-check to make sure your wallet and cell phone are with you. With a deep breath (aka heavy sigh of the overburdened), you head out the door and stuff your hands into your pockets to avoid the chill that has permeated the air since yesterday. Wait…what’s this? Oh, geez, is it an old to do list? The phone number of someone you were supposed to call ages ago? The long-lost receipt for that item you meant to return? Nope. It’s a crisp dollar bill! Huzzah! Add that to the change jingling at the bottom of your purse, and you can treat yourself to a hot and soothing cuppa tea!

Some might ask if this a true Nudge. Does it push me out of my comfort zone, help me to reveal some great Ah-Hah? Probably not. But it definitely qualifies as fun.

What Happened: Just asking for change in singles made me giggle to myself. Does the cashier think I’m heading for a strip club? Ha!

From the moment I pulled this Nudge, I felt the anticipation. It’s funny, because none of this will come to fruition for a long time. In fact, I hope it takes a long time, because that will make the reveal so much more fun for me.

$10 – or rather, ten single $1 bills.

The first went into the pocket of my fanciest coat, one that doesn’t get taken out of the closet very often. (Hmmm…idea for a future Nudge?) The second went into a random page of one of my all-time favorite books, one I know I’ll re-read in a year or two. For half a second I thought about how it would suck if I decide to donate the coat or book before I discover the hidden treasure, but since it’s only a buck, it wouldn’t be a hard loss. And I enjoyed imagining that savvy second-hand shopper as she discovers the bonus inside.

Bill #3 got tucked into the back of a picture frame. And so on. Throughout this week, I let ideas present themselves to me and hid the bills around the house. And each time I felt…giddy.

Giddy. “Dizzy; lighthearted; silly; joyfully elated,” says Merriam-Webster. Yep. All of the above. All week long I felt this in spurts, and I know I will feel giddy again at least 10 more times as I rediscover the bills.

Ah-Hahs: There are so few good surprises left in life. I remember how much fun I had doing Fairy Deeds for others (see this post), so how fun was this to set myself up for 10 future surprises!

Lately I’ve been working on finding my mojo (see this post) and getting through an especially dark Life Funk. There were times I’ve thought about rebooting with a spa day (couple hundred $) or a session with a professional counselor (couple hundred more $). Instead, I spent (but didn’t really spend) just $10 and succeeded in nudging my spirits up for the week.

 

Dear Reader, Whether you’re new to 52Nudges or have been following along for a while, I would appreciate your feedback. Specifically, I’d like to know if there was (1) a previous Nudge you found was impactful for you and (2) a previous Nudge that you’d like to give another go in the future. Send me a note in comments. Thank you!

 

Nudged: Book a Pilates class

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Backstory: This is really the result of a bigger Nudge. A while back I played with what forms of exercise might get me…well…moving. Do I want to get into an organized team sport, like softball or soccer? (No.) Do I want to give running another try? (My 53-year-old knees say no.) Yoga? (Ugh.)

Maybe there is something I loved doing as a child that I’d like to revisit. Jumping rope is on the list, as is bocce ball. I will continue with long walks, on my own and as excuses for catching up with friends, but the exercise that my body seemed to most respond to has always been Pilates.

I can come up with any number of excuses for why I haven’t been to a class in over a year. None of those excuses are good. So this week, I’m going to pull out my calendar, make a commitment, and just do it.

What good-for-you activity have you been putting off? If you can’t fit it in this week, at least get it inked on the calendar for soon.

What Happened: Wasted no time on this one. Got online, re-upped my account, and booked a class for next week.

Then I skipped ahead to the next week and booked two more.

Gulp. 🙂

The Ah-Hahs: I won’t be able to report back this week on how the class went , but I can confirm that this Nudge has been completed and I’m nervous…no, I’m excited…about getting back on track with regular exercise that I’ve loved doing in the past.

Meanwhile, this week I’m going to practice getting up at 5:15 am so it won’t be quite so painful next week to make it out the door for a 6:00 am class. Step by step, bit by bit, squat by squat. 🙂