Tag Archives: 52Nudges

Nudging: Create a chalk message on front sidewalk

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Backstory: What are some of the things you loved doing as a child? Off the top of my head:

  • Seeing how high I could swing on the swings at the playground.
  • Creating baked goods. (Some experiments didn’t qualify as “good,” but they were still creative and fun).
  • Dancing, both in ballet class and freestyle with my friends.
  • Pretending to be Nancy Drew/Barbie/one of Charlie’s Angels.
  • Getting lost in a good book (Nancy Drew, Little House on the Prairie).
  • Decorating the sidewalk with colored chalk.

Whenever we host a special event, I love to greet our guests with a message. Happy Birthday! Merry Christmas! Welcome! I typically include their names with some simple drawings (hearts, flowers), and when I open my door, I am gifted with big smiles.

There’s no special occasion this week, but I think it will be fun to greet my neighbors with a bit of joy. (And fingers crossed there is no rain!)

I keep a basket of chalks, both the small and big sizes, in a table by the front door. They’re cheap! Find colored chalks at toy stores, crafting stores, and some grocery or drug stores.

Chalk not your thing? Then maybe pull out a sheet of printer paper and draw a sign of greeting to hang in your window or on your front door. Have fun with this!

Nudged: Draw something to manifest x5

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Backstory: I think my original idea was to use this space in my office—the big white board I have on one wall and look at every day—to visualize something I want in my life. I’m not entirely sure what I meant by “x5”. Could be I wanted to draw a new image each day of the work week, or am I supposed to draw five different images that represent one dream? I’ll figure it out.

Please remember, I am a writer, not an artist, so don’t expect this to be pretty. 🙂 I hope this Nudge will be fun—and fruitful!

What Happened: I brainstormed what I might want to manifest. Breaking my Life into categories, I noted a few things under each. For Work, I want to finish a big personal project (maybe draw images of the final printed version). For Mind/Body, I want to reach that long-sought-after goal weight (I envisioned drawings of the scale with my “magic” number) and get in some replenishing naps. For self-care, I want to be gifted with some really nice PJs, both cozy flannels and something that feels feminine and luxurious.

Really? These are the big “dreams” I want to manifest for myself? Who is this person?!?

I took a step back mid-week to mull this over. Sure, things like winning the lottery so that I could feel financially secure would be lovely, and taking steps toward being more financially secure is a worthy goal. But a “dream”? Hardly.

Where did my big dreams go? What happened to being recognized for my creative work and feeling successful and finding true love? (That last item on my bucket list got checked off, by the way.) None of the items on my initial list are the least bit exciting. How depressing is this?

It crossed my mind that 50-something women don’t dream. The Big Things in Life are those we hope for in our 20s and 30s, when fame and fortune and achievement and recognition seemed all-important. I don’t, honestly, want to be living a Rich & Famous lifestyle, but every March I still imagine my Oscar acceptance speech (“I’d like to thank the Academy…”).

The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to imagine manifesting something “impossible”. So here’s what I ended up drawing:

Starting at top left, my rendition of the Pulitzer Prize Gold Medal, followed by my work at #1 on The New York Times’ Best Sellers List, and at the bottom a check for $250,000.00.

What this represents to me is being recognized for my writing, for my creativity, for my connecting people through my work. I have no idea what kind of work this might be, but I don’t feel that’s my job right now. My job is to state (or draw) my wishes to the Universe, then step back and let the Universe do its thing.

The Ah-Hah: Honestly, I felt disappointed in myself this week. I want to dream big again. I want to feel inspired and motivated and excited. What will it take to do this? I don’t know yet, but I’m determined to find that “impossible” goal and have fun going for it.

Nudged: Drink 3-4 liters H2O every day

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Backstory: Drinking enough water seems such a simple thing to do, and I know it will impact my health and well-being. So why don’t I keep it up?

I don’t have an answer. I just need to do this.

What Happened: I never hit the 4-liter mark, but I hit 3 a couple of days and comfortably downed 2+ on the other days. This is not “perfect”, but it’s “better”, and I’m okay with that.

Along the way, I figured a few things out:

  • If I exercise in the morning, I quickly and effortlessly go through the first liter.
  • If I put a slice of citrus in it, it feels special.
  • If I serve water in a fancy glass or mug, I pick it up more often.
  • If I put it in a pretty pitcher, it feels like I’m treating myself. It also helps to see that full liter on my desk, to keep track of how much more I need to drink and to save me the time of having to refill in the kitchen.

  • If I made it a game, it was kind of fun. For example, when I took stretch breaks from work on the hour, I swallowed several gulps. When I watched TV, I took a couple of gulps whenever there was a commercial break. (Which is funny, because we fast-forward through most ads, but I still used those breaks as a reminder to sip.)

How do I feel? Fine. Did I notice any big changes in my health or well-being? Not yet. But I believe the long-term benefits will happen if I keep this up.

In fact, during the week I mentioned this Nudge to a friend who has a couple of decades on me. She has been concentrating on increasing her water intake recently and has noticed that several nagging health issues have, for lack of a better word, eased.

Ah-Hahs: No fireworks. No fanfare. No big ah-hah moment. This was simply a step toward better self-care, and it’s something I need to continue working on. It’s all good.

Nudged: Plant something

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Backstory: Well, crap. This is clearly a Nudge from the original list, before I did some other Nudges that helped me gain clarity on how much I do not like gardening. Isn’t one of the “rules” of nudging that it has to be “fun”?

Ugh.

But…I have been thinking it would be nice to plant a new rose bush in the backyard, to have fresh cut flowers without having to spend the extra money at the market. And the blueberry bushes are thriving, despite lack of attention, so maybe another one would work. Or a new herb plant for the kitchen window?

I am feeling anti-enthusiastic about this week’s task. But I drew it, so I must do it.

What Happened: I spent much of this week looking for ways to wiggle out of this. I mean, really. I had no desire to go to the garden center, pick something out, and dig in the dirt just to check this off. Maybe I could get “creative” about this one. Maybe I could “plant my feet” into some intention? Maybe I could use my last “pass” and choose another Nudge for the week? (Although by the time I thought of this, much of the week had gone by.) I even considered fudging about completing it, which is 100% in opposition to what this 52Nudges experience is about.

This morning this Nudge continued to hang over my head, taking up mental space as I worked, ran laundry, and tried to distract myself with busyness. I really don’t want to do any gardening. The thought of wandering the garden center for inspiration doesn’t elicit any good feelings from me. But what “seed” might I “plant”?

Ah. Hah.

On my to do list is visiting my oldest friend. After her family moved out of state when I was eight, we became pen pals, and we continue to keep in close touch via letters, emails, and now text messages. We’ve also managed to get together in person several times over the decades. The last visit was for my wedding, coming on eight years ago. I want to see her. I want to spend time in her company. I want to reminisce and catch up and share and dream. I want to do all of this before it’s “too late”.

I don’t know where the money or the time will come from, since both right now are committed to other things. But…I can plant the seeds and make my intention to do this known.

So I called my travel agent and asked her to keep an eye out for screaming deals on airfare.

And I texted my friend and asked her when would be the best times of year to come for a visit.

I don’t know how or when I’ll do this, it might even have to wait till next year, but I feel encouraged that the intention is now in motion.

The Ah-Hahs: That line about “Maybe I could get ‘creative’ about this one.” I just laughed (with delight) at myself. I started out dreading this Nudge, then found a way to have it help me manifest something I really want to do.

How fun and amazing is that?

 

Nudging: Plant something

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Backstory: Well, crap. This is clearly a Nudge from the original list, before I did some other Nudges that helped me gain clarity on how much I do not like gardening. Isn’t one of the “rules” of nudging that it has to be “fun”?

Ugh.

But…I have been thinking it would be nice to plant a new rose bush in the backyard, to have fresh cut flowers without having to spend the extra money at the market. And the blueberry bushes are thriving, despite lack of attention, so maybe another one would work. Or a new herb plant for the kitchen window?

I am feeling anti-enthusiastic about this week’s task. But I drew it, so I must do it.

Nudged: Wear a different hat x4

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Backstory: What makes me feel comfortable, feel good, feel like me? I’ve amassed quite a collection of hats over the years, from travels and gifts and some spontaneous as well as thoughtful purchases. Yet I’ve noticed recently that I gravitate to the same few over and over. So this Nudge is part closet purging and part getting clear on what feels right for me.

What Happened:

Monday: Worked from home all day. Wasn’t feeling it.

Tuesday: Well, this was fun. I quickly purged three hats:

(1) The old hat I used to wear running that is so badly stained (i.e., disgusting) that I wouldn’t dare wear it in public again. “Yet,” my inner debater said, “it is a great lightweight hat for running.” “Yet,” said my inner reasonable woman, “it’s been ages since you went running. If you get back into it, you can buy a clean new hat to motivate yourself.” Into the trash!

(2) A heavyweight winter baseball cap that was a fun gift, but that has always been uncomfortable. The cardboard bill has never relaxed, and it’s given me a headache every time I’ve worn it. Donate!

(3) Two hats that look far too much like a certain politically charged hat (one that was recently deemed a symbol of hate—yikes!). I have felt uncomfortable wearing both in public because I didn’t want to be mistaken for taking sides. I tried them on again, and one, actually, is not that comfortable. Donate! The other, actually, feels really good on, and maybe it doesn’t look that much like the offensive hat. I chose to wear it while running errands, to see if it got a reaction and how I felt in it. No big deal. This might be a keeper.

Wednesday: Had a client event tonight. My hair looked ah-mazing!, so didn’t want to smoosh it into hat head.

Thursday: Second-day hair looked not quite so amazing. Good thing it’s hat Nudging week! Pulled out one of my favorites, one that doesn’t get worn nearly enough. Paired it with a nice turtleneck, cool shades, lovely earrings, and the “good” trenchcoat (that also doesn’t get taken out enough). I felt so chic!

Me so chic!

Friday: Today I took a sick day. My body said, “Rest,” and for once I listened. Even though I knew I wouldn’t be going out, I took a few minutes to pull the remaining hats from my closet—winter, spring, summer, fall—and try all them on. So cute! I am already thinking about outfits I might put together when the sun comes out.

The last hat I pulled on was a cap a dear friend knitted for me. Baby soft, in my favorite color (lime green), it was like receiving a hug from her. So I left it on and will wear it while I curl up with tea and a good book and take care of myself today.

Ah-Hahs: When I wear something special—a jaunty hat, the “good” jewelry—I feel better. This week’s Nudge reaffirmed how being nice to myself and dressing well impacts everything I do during the day. It’s pretty simple.

I also had a lot of fun feeling chic. This reminded me of when I stopped in a local café several years ago for a coffee and pastry and couldn’t help but notice a woman seated a few tables away. She wasn’t supermodel gorgeous, she wasn’t famous; she’d possibly be described as “a woman of a certain age.” But she had something, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Sitting with just lovely posture, she sipped her cappuccino, nibbled her pastry, and read the daily paper. She was wearing dark jeans, a nice cotton blouse, a navy blazer with gold buttons, and gold pumps. Gold shoes! Fabulous!

Feeling somewhat invisible in my sloppy dog-park attire (tragic, but real), I snuck a photo of her with my phone. I printed it out and tacked it to a board in my office for inspiration because I wanted to be like her. That photo stayed on my board for several years until I accepted I can be like her. Or rather, I am my best me.

Go be your best you. ♥

 

52+: Celebrating “Women Gone Vibrant” with Alexandra Epple (podcast)

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“You two need to know each other.”

That was how a mutual friend introduced me to Alexandra Epple, a health coach who supports and empowers women as they transition through menopause and midlife with grace and ease. She’s amazing! From the first time we talked, I felt like I’d known her forever, and I loved connecting with her and sharing how we both are working to help women live their best lives.

Recently she and I talked for her “Women Gone Vibrant” podcast on the topic of “Thriving as a Childless Woman”. In addition to my sharing some of my story about making peace with being childless-by-circumstances, we talked about the origins and inspiration for this blog, 52Nudges.

Our chat went live today! I hope you’ll check it out and share it. Here’s the link to the podcast.  You can also access it on your phone’s podcast app by searching for “Women Gone Vibrant”. (If you don’t have a podcast app, download the Overcast App.)

This morning, when I heard from Alexandra that our conversation would be going out into the world, I was a little emotional. I feel humbled and honored that my words were chosen to be shared today, Valentine’s Day. This day has the potential to suck for a lot of us, and if you are feeling down, please be gentle with yourself. Wherever you are on your journey—single or married, with or without children, pursuing your dreams or still seeking purpose—I hope you’ll find encouragement and inspiration in the podcast and in 52Nudges.

Nudging: Wear a different hat x4

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Backstory: What makes me feel comfortable, feel good, feel like me? I’ve amassed quite a collection of hats over the years, from travels and gifts and some spontaneous as well as thoughtful purchases. Yet I’ve noticed recently that I gravitate to the same few over and over. So this Nudge is part closet purging and part getting clear on what feels right for me.

P.S. For you maybe it’s shoes or sweaters or jewelry (see the “Wear the nice jewelry” post from last year for motivation). Set aside some time this week to experiment and figure out what’s right for you.

Nudged: Compliment a stranger

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Backstory: I suppose this one is along the lines of doing a “Fairy Deed” (read the post on that successful Nudge from last year here), but this is not anonymous. This is up close and personal. This is Putting Myself Out There.

Here we go. 🙂

What Happened: Right away I started looking for opportunities. Perhaps I could find something nice to say about a guest at work on Sunday, but we were busy, and the afternoon flew by and I forgot. Monday morning I got up before the sun to take my car in for service, but I was too tired (see worked all day Sunday) and I forgot.

Monday afternoon, after I picked up my car, I made a quick run to the grocery store for a few items. I don’t know what went haywire, but I got stuck in a line behind two other people while we waited for the person ahead of us to get a price checked or something. The tension grew. People behind me grumbled then switched to different lines. I thought about doing the same, but didn’t have it in me to pull all my stuff off the conveyor belt and schlep it over to the next cashier. (And we all know that as soon as you do that, their register crashes while your old line suddenly hits warp speed).

I stuck it out and opened my eyes. The two people in front of me had their kids with them, kids who looked to be the age of elementary school students. And these two amazing small humans were thoroughly enjoying this opportunity to get acquainted. They asked each other questions, they teased, they giggled. I caught myself smiling. So instead of stressing over being stuck, I focused on the joy in front of me.

When it became clear the line was going to move again, I leaned in toward their parents and said, “You both have adorable children.” I smiled, they smiled. They said, “Ah, thank you!” I left the store with a bag full of groceries and a heart full of warm fuzzies.

Ah-Hahs: On the drive home from the market I thought about how easy it was to shift my attitude from being annoyed to being entertained. That’s all it really took: a shift on my part. And I feel I could do this in just about any situation, so I hope now that I’m aware of it, I will remember to do it more often.

It also struck me that this change in attitude can be contagious. Mid-week I caught up with my dad, who is in his mid-80s and walks with a cane. He told me how people of all generations, colors, and genders are so kind to him, so helpful. They hold doors open and wait patiently while he goes through, and they tell him “Take your time” as he struggles to put back a grocery cart. At first he was surprised to be the recipient of all this good treatment, but now he sees the ripple effects and it inspires him to initiate.

It’s so easy to be kind. Let’s look for opportunities to do it more often.