Author Archives: Kathleen Guthrie Woods

Nudging: Get 8 hours of sleep every night

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Backstory: Well, um, I need to get more and better sleep.

I keep hearing about how lack of sleep effects everything, including my ability to lose weight. I know I need to be better about this, but it always seems to be the easiest thing to cut when deadlines and to do lists and responsibilities are hanging over me.

It’s no coincidence that I recently finished reading the August issue of National Geographic, for which the theme is “The Science of Sleep.”

Did you know “anyone who regularly sleeps less than six hours has a higher risk of depression, psychosis, stroke, and obesity”?

Yikes.

So this week I’m going to walk away from the office, turn off the TV, ignore the phone, and catch some extra zzzzzs.

 

P.S. For inspiration and motivation, I recommend you read the book Thrive by Arianna Huffington. No spoilers, but she got a “wake-up call” when sleep deprivation became a real problem from her—then she took the steps to make a good night’s sleep a priority in her life.

Nudged: Visit a new-to-me bookshop (again)

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Backstory: What the…?! Didn’t I already…? Yes!

I must have put the wadded-up piece of paper back into the bowl, because this was one of my earliest Nudges. Ha! (Read the original Nudged post here.)

I could have tossed it, but the “rules” say I “have” to do what I’ve drawn, and I don’t want to waste one of my remaining passes.

The really crazy thing is that I am going somewhere this coming week that will be capital-p Perfect for this Nudge. No coincidences here!

Meanwhile, if you’re new to this site, take a look at the original “Visit a new-to-me bookshop” Nudge for inspiration for what you might do this week. You might go to the charming neighborhood shop and browse a section that’s not your usual destination (Poetry instead of Mysteries, or Biographies about grown-ups for you instead of YA and Children’s Lit for your kids). If books aren’t your thing, maybe you can go to a music shop or a hobby shop or a spice shop. I hope you will Nudge yourself out of your “nest” and expand your horizons. More than that, I hope you will have some FUN this week!

What Happened: Greetings from Portland, Oregon! If you are a bibliophile like me, you now know why this Nudge (a repeat) was absolutely perfect for this week: Portland is the home of Powell’s Books, the world’s largest independent book store. The funny part is, when I planned our get-outta-town vacation, I had not included this on our list of things to do and see. Yet Powell’s to me is like the god of all book stores, the Mother Ship, my Mecca.

 

I could have easily spent a full day there, wandering, touching, learning, exploring. The Rare Book Room itself was worth the whole trip. Naturally, I’d planned to just look. Naturally, I left with a bag of new books. 🙂

The Ah-Hahs: My husband and I work long hours and long days for long stretches of time. We take on a lot of responsibilities in both our jobs and personal lives. We were desperate for a vacation, but couldn’t come up with some place where we really really wanted to go, so Portland happened on a whim. We had a great time, but I think we need to be more intentional about how we spend our vacation time and dollars. We’re starting to talk about what might be our other Meccas, including places we want to see and experience while we’re physically able (time is not our friend on this). Machu Picchu comes to mind. A return to Paris. A walking trip through the Cotswolds. A long visit with my oldest girlfriend.

What is your Mecca? Can you start today planning how you might get there?

In addition to visiting Powell’s, we also wandered the fabulous Japanese Garden. We have a fabulous Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park, about 15 minutes from home, a place we’ve visited…never. In my 10 years in the city, in his 20-plus, we’ve never once set foot inside the gates. They even have days when entry is free to city residents. No excuses!

So, in addition to creating a list of far-flung places we want to visit, we’re making a list of places we might discover on a stay-cation: historical walking tours, the city’s “best” donuts/signature cocktails/brunch, the coolest spots for people-watching.

I hope you’ll share with me some of your inspirations, then watch for some of those to appear on the List for future Nudges.

Nudging: Visit a new-to-me bookshop (again)

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Backstory: What the…?! Didn’t I already…? Yes!

I must have put the wadded-up piece of paper back into the bowl, because this was one of my earliest Nudges. Ha! (Read the original Nudged post here.)

I could have tossed it, but the “rules” say I “have” to do what I’ve drawn, and I don’t want to waste one of my remaining passes.

The really crazy thing is that I am going somewhere this coming week that will be capital-p Perfect for this Nudge. No coincidences here!

Meanwhile, if you’re new to this site, take a look at the original “Visit a new-to-me bookshop” Nudge for inspiration for what you might do this week. You might go to the charming neighborhood shop and browse a section that’s not your usual destination (Poetry instead of Mysteries, or Biographies about grown-ups for you instead of YA and Children’s Lit for your kids). If books aren’t your thing, maybe you can go to a music shop or a hobby shop or a spice shop. I hope you will Nudge yourself out of your “nest” and expand your horizons. More than that, I hope you will have some FUN this week!

Nudged: Say “No” to something

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Backstory: It was just a few months ago that I shared my experience of “The gift of saying ‘No (thank you).’” (Read the original 52+ post here). Even though I know the benefits of this Nudge, I’m still a little nervous. What if nothing happens this week? What if I can’t say “no” to anything? What if I get tangled up in all the shoulds?

So this week’s Nudge is one of those leap-of-faith things in which I trust the answers and direction will come.

What Happened: “What if nothing happens this week?” Hello, hilarious! I had not just one, but many opportunities to exercise this Nudge:

  • Was asked to chair a committee for a volunteer organization that comes with big responsibilities and a major time commitment. I was flattered to be asked, yet, after thinking about where I want my time and energy to go right now and in the near future, I said, “No, thank you.”
  • A friend of a friend of a friend reached out to me for help writing content for their business. I took at look at what they were doing, sent over a letter of introduction with samples of my work, and suggested how I might contribute. She replied with an offer that is ¼ the market rate for my services. I replied, “No, thank you.”
  • I put on a dress that’s been in the back of my closet for some time, one that now (thanks to recent efforts) fits. I wondered why I hadn’t worn it much before, until I saw myself in the mirror. It wasn’t me. It’s very pretty, but the angles hit me wrong and the color washes me out. I needed to hustle to get myself out the door for an event that evening, but I took a few minutes to change into something else that made me feel confident, sexy, attractive, approachable, and authentic. Then I folded up the first dress and put it in the box for donation to Goodwill.
  • That same night, I wanted ice cream. Really really wanted ice cream. Then I remembered how good it felt to slip into a dress a size smaller than what I’ve worn for some time and said “No, thank you” to the offer to stop for a cone.
  • Friday night, 6:07 pm. My mind said, “Just one…maybe tw-three more emails!” My heart said, “No.” I turned off the light, walked out of the office, and started my weekend.

The Ah-Hah: I missed one opportunity, and it’s eating away at me. I was at a social event, one held in honor of a colleague. I found myself stuck at a table with a conversation that was…uncomfortable. I don’t want to out anyone or reveal details, so let’s just say the opinions being floated directly contradicted my values.

But it wasn’t the place or the environment to argue. It would have been inappropriate to speak my mind, though I was tempted to not only offer an alternative perspective, but to strongly condemn the original.

So I bit my tongue. Literally. I didn’t want to take the spotlight off our guest of honor (even though the speaker was doing just that), so I did nothing. I wanted to get up from the table and walk out, but again, that would have caused a “scene.” So I stayed. And I bit. And I seethed.

If this happens again, under the same circumstances, I’m not sure if I would behave differently. But there remains a part of me that wishes I had stood up and said, “Hell. No.”

Nudging: Say “No” to something

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Backstory: It was just a few months ago that I shared my experience of “The gift of saying ‘No (thank you).’” (Read the original 52+ post here). Even though I know the benefits of this Nudge, I’m still a little nervous. What if nothing happens this week? What if I can’t say “no” to anything? What if I get tangled up in all the shoulds?

So this week’s Nudge is one of those leap-of-faith things in which I trust the answers and direction will come.

Nudged: Listen to two old CDs

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Backstory: Because I work from an office in our home and do little driving, the same six CDs have been in my car for…two years? Longer? Sheesh, that’s embarrassing. And pretty much the only time I listen to music at home is while I’m prepping and cooking dinner. You’d think I could change up my playlist periodically, but my reality (some might call it my “rut”) is that the soundtrack to Hamilton! is on constant rotation. Not a bad choice, but the neighbors are probably sick of hearing me bellow out “Here comes the General—RISE UP!” at 7:34 pm every single night. (“An-ge-li-caaa…Ee-liii-za…AND PEGGY!”)

I don’t know what I thought I’d learn from this Nudge. I suppose it’s another step in the clearing out process to re-evaluate treasures and determine whether they are to be saved, tossed, or shared. Or maybe I just need to remember the pleasures of listening to really great music more often.

What Happened: I own David Sedaris’s Me Talk Pretty One Day on CD. I had completely forgotten about this, and even have the hardcover of this book on my nightstand to re-read this year. My god, but that man is hilarious—and heart-breaking. (“State v. Carolina” is a perfect example of both.) And there’s nothing like hearing his own stories in his very unique voice. I highly recommend!

I also found the classic The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart (“Abe Lincoln vs. Madison Avenue” and “Nobody Will Ever Play Baseball” are pure genius). I also dug up Salt and Dreaming Wide Awake from Lizz Wright (jazz singer with a voice that could melt butter), an early release from the young rockers of Acidic (check them out), and Cracked Rear View from Hootie & the Blowfish (confession: I still love them). Some of these replaced the ol’ favorites in my car, and the rest were stacked in the kitchen to accompany me in dinner prep.

Mid-week, our trusty portable CD player spun its final disc. It came with my marriage, so I’m not sure of its origins, but I guessing (based on the embedded cassette tape player) that it dates back to the last century (good grief). Still, it served me well in the kitchen and in this Nudge. Was its dying a sign that I was to do something else?

Nope. That night, Thor (darling husband) arrived with a box in hand, a brand new CD player (no cassette tape slot) that made our CDs sound even better. “You didn’t need to do that,” I said. “It was only like $40,” he said. He’s right. It’s a small investment in something that will entertain us for many more years in this century.

The Ah-Hah: I really just needed to remember the pleasures of listening to great music (and audio books and classic comedy routines). That’s it.

What’s on your playlist?

Nudging: Listen to two old CDs

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Backstory: Because I work from an office in our home and do little driving, the same six CDs have been in my car for…two years? Longer? Sheesh, that’s embarrassing. And pretty much the only time I listen to music at home is while I’m prepping and cooking dinner. You’d think I could change up my playlist periodically, but my reality (some might call it my “rut”) is that the soundtrack to Hamilton! is on constant rotation. Not a bad choice, but the neighbors are probably sick of hearing me bellow out “Here comes the General—RISE UP!” at 7:34 pm every single night. (“An-ge-li-caaa…Ee-liii-za…AND PEGGY!”)

I don’t know what I thought I’d learn from this Nudge. I suppose it’s another step in the clearing out process to re-evaluate treasures and determine whether they are to be saved, tossed, or shared. Or maybe I just need to remember the pleasures of listening to really great music more often.

Nudged: Move something (i.e., a piece of furniture)

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Backstory: This one is easy. For the past several years, my desk has faced a wall that displays an outline made up of sticky notes for a book that I’m on track to finish this fall. I’ve stared at this wall, gained inspiration from it, been frustrated by it. As this Big Project comes to a close, I’m ready to change my perspective. I’m thinking I’ll turn the desk 45 degrees so that it will now face the window and look out onto our backyard. This will be the first small step toward the larger project of (finally) redecorating this room with paint, curtains, and a rug in warm colors. I’m excited to do this.

What Happened: “What’s this week’s Nudge?” My husband, Thor (that’s the name he chose for himself for when I write about him), has gotten in the habit of asking this question every Sunday, and I love how supportive he’s been with everything. I told him I’d need his help to move my desk, to which he responded, “What’s our Nudge?” Turns out he had something else in mind. “How about we move the bed?” Uh, “Okay.”

The man takes his plans seriously, apparently, and he got down to business over lunch on Saturday when he drew up options (see below) for where we might put the bed, and what else we might have to move to accommodate the shift.

If you’ve ever done any remodeling, you know what’s coming. You buy something as simple as a new lamp, and suddenly the couch looks shabby. So you buy a new slipcover, and the drapes no longer match. There goes the rug, the coffee table, the paintings…total snowball effect.

A similar thing happened with this Nudge. We moved our one piece of furniture, which was a big undertaking on its own, but then came the collateral damage. We Swiffered and vacuumed a good three years of dust bunnies and dog fur. We decided to take down all the curtains and wash them. We realized after taking apart the California king-size bed and moving all the parts into the hallway that we had bolted the headboard to the wall. We decided it will stay in place for a month while we determine if we like the new arrangement.

In the process of moving heavy items, we ripped out the TV cable cord (another appointment for my to do list) and scratched the 90-year-old hardwood floor. (Guardsman’s Touch Up Pen is my new best friend.) By the time we were done, we had moved nine pieces of furniture. Nine. This was no “nudge,” this was a full-on move.

The Ah-Ha: This whole thing felt like a hilarious scene from a marriage. A bit of arguing, a lot of compromising, some decent teamwork, and some laughter at ourselves. This was not what I had in mind when I added this Nudge to my list, but like all the others, it’s the unexpected results that are the most revealing.

I was hoping to get a new perspective, and I got it. As we dropped our sore and tired bodies in to bed last night, I felt like I was on vacation in a new place. The light from the windows hit me at a different angle, the sounds—from the tree outside to the dog’s breathing in his bed—took on slightly different tones. I felt disoriented, but not uncomfortable. Waking up, I was not in my routine. I had to be a little more aware as I navigated my way from the warm bed across the dark room. It was…stimulating. That’s the best description I can come up with. It was different, new, challenging, and, yes, stimulating.

Once we finished resetting the bedroom, Thor said, “Now let’s go move your desk.” My back was crying uncle, so I suggested we put it off another day. But then, as I thought about it, I said, “What would you think of moving your desk in with mine?” Currently his desk shares space with the guest room. I’d love to get him out of there, make the guest room really nice and welcoming. But more than that, I’d love to have his company. It’s so crazy how often we’re working on our different projects after hours with a wall between us. Even though this is my space during the week, I’d love to have him with me on weekends while we pay bills or catch up on emails and YouTube videos.

I’m a little nervous that if we make this new move it will create another snowball effect (feeling the need to remodel everything in the house), but I’m open to the changes. And that’s what makes all of this Nudging business fun.

Thor and I going to look at our options after breakfast. 🙂

 

Nudging: Move something (i.e., a piece of furniture)

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Backstory: This one is easy. For the past several years, my desk has faced a wall that displays an outline made up of sticky notes for a book that I’m on track to finish this fall. I’ve stared at this wall, gained inspiration from it, been frustrated by it. As this Big Project comes to a close, I’m ready to change my perspective. I’m thinking I’ll turn the desk 45 degrees so that it will now face the window and look out onto our backyard. This will be the first small step toward the larger project of (finally) redecorating this room with paint, curtains, and a rug in warm colors. I’m excited to do this.

Nudged: Be early for everything

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Backstory: I laughed out loud when I pulled this, which I did late in the afternoon, just after I made the final decision to pass on the first draw. And yes, I’m well aware that in the process I was late getting this post out. Classic!

Here’s what happened: I had plans to meet a girlfriend for a movie matinee, and I had offered to pick her up. My plan was to be out the door early, so I’d get to her place a little early. But the phone rang and the dishwasher wasn’t quite done and I completely forgot to post this Nudge after I drew it and…. I dashed out the door, raced over to her house, and pulled up 1 stinking minute after planned.

Perfect time to work on being early for everything.

I didn’t used to be like this. But as I’ve gotten older, my responsibilities have expanded, and there’s always something I need to do. I hate the constant race with the clock. Not only does my running behind make me feel awful about disrespecting friends (their time is valuable too), but it adds so much unnecessary stress to my life.

So this week, I’m flipping the early switch back on. Let’s do this!

What Happened: What is “everything”? Early to bed, early to rise? Do I need to deliver jobs ahead of deadlines? Or is it just appointments, meetings, and events? Sounds a little bit like I’m looking for a loophole, doesn’t it? Sheesh. I shut that down and jumped in.

On Monday, I had a car service appointment scheduled for 7 am. I arrived about 10 minutes early, and there was, for a change, no waiting. Nice.

On Tuesday, my husband was out at a work event, so I invited a girlfriend over for dinner. My plan was to have everything done when she arrived so that we could sit down and enjoy a relaxing meal. But that last-minute email and one last call…. Good intentions out the door! The funny thing was, I actually think it was more relaxed having her help in the kitchen. The meal was simple and quick, but it did need some prep. Had I done every last thing, she would have felt more like a guest. A sense of formality was eradicated in my unpreparedness, which set the tone for the evening being more about two friends doing something together versus my doing something for her.

I had no success with the “early to bed” part, so it’s something I may want to try again in the 52Nudges experiment. However, I was consistently early getting to my desk in the mornings, being prepped to tackle both work and home to do lists, and being prepared and connected ahead of the start times for conference calls and interviews. Oh, and there was one surprise party in the mix. I was definitely early to arrive for that one!

The Ah-Ha: This Nudge was a small and impactful step. I was amazed at how my stress level was lowered, and I’ll take whatever relief I can get in that department.

But the most interesting ah-hah from this week’s Nudge was something that at first glance is unrelated. It came out of the dinner with my friend. I can’t quite see myself including guests in the prep of every meal, but…as I think back on favorite gatherings over the years, especially big family holiday gatherings, my memories include the camaraderie in the kitchen. The sharing of stories, the passing down of techniques and tips to new generations of cooks, the spontaneous hugs and smiles, and the pure joy of just being together. As a childless woman who doesn’t get to host the major holiday gatherings for extended family, I’ve missed out on this. I’d like to work more of it into my life. I’ve toyed with the idea of creating a supper club, one in which a small group of friends tries out new recipes, learns from each other, then sits down to enjoy the fruits of our labors together. Maybe this is the year I start it.

Or maybe the subtle shift I make from this is about doing less for others and more with others. Hmmm….