Tag Archives: 52Nudges

Nudged: Submit an essay/pitch for publication

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Backstory: This is one of the hardest parts of my work. You send out something you’ve crafted, something you’ve nurtured and cried over and sweated through, and you hope-hope-hope someone LOVES IT and wants to help you share it with the world. And if you’re lucky, they’ll also want to pay you for the privilege.

I’ve gotten out of the habit of pitching lately. It is a tremendous amount of work and can be incredibly discouraging. But, if I’m not putting my work out there, it can’t be picked up, and it won’t ever be read.

So this week I’m going to take a look at what’s in my circulation file and put myself out there again.

How might you Nudge yourself out of your professional comfort zone this week? Is it time to update your LinkedIn profile? Apply online to an open position? Make some calls and do some networking?

Do it.

What Happened: Two pieces were on my mind, and I began the week with the intention of pitching them both to two separate entities. Both are of a personal nature, so both involve not only putting my writing work on the line, but also my small vulnerable human ego.

I sent out one, pitching a story for a live-reading event. And it was accepted—wahoo!

I had every intention of polishing the pitch for the second piece, researching publications, and sending it out to an editor, but work and life got in the way (yes, and being a chicken), and it didn’t happen.

One of my many repositories for ideas, pitches, works-in-progress. Sheesh.

I’m thinking this Nudge needs to return to the bowl for a second attempt.

The Ah-Hahs: Believe in my gifts and my work. Take risks. Be fearless!

Nudging: Submit an essay/pitch for publication

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Backstory: This is one of the hardest parts of my work. You send out something you’ve crafted, something you’ve nurtured and cried over and sweated through, and you hope-hope-hope someone LOVES IT and wants to help you share it with the world. And if you’re lucky, they’ll also want to pay you for the privilege.

I’ve gotten out of the habit of pitching lately. It is a tremendous amount of work and can be incredibly discouraging. But, if I’m not putting my work out there, it can’t be picked up, and it won’t ever be read.

So this week I’m going to take a look at what’s in my circulation file and put myself out there again.

How might you Nudge yourself out of your professional comfort zone this week? Is it time to update your LinkedIn profile? Apply online to an open position? Make some calls and do some networking?

Do it.

Nudged: Take Thor to a new place for date night

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Backstory: (For those of you who are new to 52Nudges, “Thor” is the code name for my darling husband.)

I think we’re pretty good about getting out on date nights, but we certainly have our favorite spots (some might call that a “rut”). This is our chance to try something new.

Maybe this is the week we’ll check out one of the ethnic restaurants I learned about when I was inspired by visiting a new market (read the post here). Maybe we’ll put a bunch of different restaurant names on strips of paper, toss them in a bowl, and make a random selection. Or maybe we’ll skip dinner and go straight to a bowling alley, movie theater with recliners, miniature golf course, or pumpkin patch. Hmmm…I might have date night ideas for the next several months!

What would be fun for you? Significant other not available or up for adventure? Then take yourself out. Or call up a friend…or several friends. Wherever you end up, I hope you’ll take a moment to toast yourself for nudging yourself into trying something new. xo

What Happened: There were so many great options, so many places nearby we have yet to try! Finally I decided on a tiny family-owned Italian place we’ve driven past for years. While it’s barely nudging us out of our comfort zone, my choice does have an intention. We’re starting to save up for a big vacation in Italy, and I’m watching movies, reading books, listening to language CDs, and doing whatever I can to keep us motivated to save that money and get excited about going on this adventure together.

I booked the table, then I sent Thor a text message to formally ask him out on a date. It’s silly, I know, but when was the last time you practiced all those courting rituals? He responded in kind, and we were set.

I arrived a bit early and was seated when he walked in the door. Although I know he saw me, he made a point of checking at the counter, then he turned to me and introduced himself as if it was a first, and blind, date. Silly (and adorable) man. Then…he pulled this from behind his back:

So, yes, I married a gem. We had a lovely evening, we nurtured our romance, and we discovered a sweet local restaurant to which we’ll return.

Ah-Hahs: This was one of those “small Nudges” that was so easy to do and so fun. So what if it didn’t lead to any new epiphanies? It was simply fun to venture out of our normal routine.

But I did have one bigger ah-hah: I don’t get flowers spontaneously very often any more. Maybe I’ll receive something on a birthday or following a medical procedure (right?), but flowers “just because”? Doesn’t much happen.

It was really nice, it left me feeling almost giddy. And I’d like for my friends to feel this way more often too. So I’m adding this to the bowl of Nudges: Send flowers to a friend for no particular occasion.

 

Nudged: Go to the gym 3x

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Backstory: This was a drop-in, you won’t find it on the List. Here’s what happened:

My darling husband, Thor (the name he picked for himself for when he’s mentioned here), has been checking every Sunday to hear about what I’ve done and what I’ve drawn for the coming week. He’s made some excellent suggestions along the way, and helped me to rehash and reevaluate post-Nudge thoughts. A few times I’ve asked if he’s wanted to do the Nudge with me, but he’s always declined. Up till this week.

We’ve both been super-busy with work commitments, with additional events happening after hours and on weekends. It’s a lot. And lately I’ve found our daily check-in conversation goes something like this:

Venus: How was your day?

Mars: Fine.

Venus: How are you?

Mars: Fine.

Venus: What’s on your mind?

Mars: Nothing.

So yesterday we took Louie the dog out for a long walk and caught up. After our usual check-ins (see above), he shared with me that he’s dragging around the weight of not knowing what he wants to do with the last half of his life, a dilemma I can certainly relate to. Many of our friends are retiring from careers and now have time to pursue long-time passions and hobbies. What might ours be? We’ve talked about signing up for classes, brainstorming, getting creative about figuring this out…. No surprise, to him (to many of us) the prospect of figuring out The Rest of Our Lives is overwhelming.

I shared with him the questions Saeeda shared with me during our interview a couple of months ago (read it here): Not “What do you want to do?” in life, but “How do you want to feel?” There are no right/wrong answers, I said to Thor. “You can pick intellectually challenged, silly, strong, relaxed, content, intrigued, entertained…let’s start with how you’d like to feel and we’ll figure out the doing part later.”

Over brunch I suggested we brainstorm some ideas for this. Not happening. Okay. But mid-afternoon he told me he’d decided his Nudge for this week would be “Go to the gym 3 times.” Perfect.

I will be doing this Nudge with him. It’s my hope that we’ll go to the gym together on some, if not all, outings, but since he likes to get up at 4:00 am (and I, well, don’t), we’ll see how it goes.

As we head into this week, I’m thinking about how having someone as an accountability partner can nudge us a little further. Or it can simply make it more fun. If you don’t have a spouse or significant other, think about asking a friend to join you in a Nudge. If that doesn’t feel comfortable to you, then consider making me your partner. Share your chosen Nudge for the week, update me in comments, and at the end of the week, let me know how you did. Let’s encourage each other to fuller lives.

What Happened: Monday morning, 4:55 am: “Kath. It’s time.”

My darling likes to get up at 4:00 am on weekdays, have his coffee, watch the news, clean the kitchen (I told you he’s a gem), then be at the gym when they open their doors at 5:00 sharp. I aspire to this, but my days are really really long and I get really really tired. I begged off on this first day. However, a couple of hours later, when my to do list threatened to consume all of today and tomorrow, I remembered my commitment to this Nudge and got myself out the door. Got my workout in and checked off the first of three days. Yay!

Tuesday morning I was up and dressed before Thor gave me my five-minute warning. We got to the gym, got in our workouts, and got our days started. Wahoo!

Wednesday: I don’t know if this is allergies or a cold or my body just crying uncle. I’m out. Thor had an especially long day ahead, so he went into the office to prep early. There’s still time to do this.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday…(see “Wednesday”).

The Ah-Ha: You know, “best laid plans” and all. We both got two outta three, and I’ll take it. It was fun to come up with this idea and pursue it together, and I’m proud of us for giving this a shot.

I also realize this whole creative Nudging adventure is not really Thor’s thing, and I won’t push him to actively participate with me each week, but I do hope we’ll figure out other Nudges we can do together.

I asked Thor for his ah-hah on his first full Nudging experience and got, “It was fine.”

I’m good with that.

What greeted me at 5:00 am 🙂

 

Nudging: Go to the gym 3x

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Backstory: This was a drop-in, you won’t find it on the List. Here’s what happened:

My darling husband, Thor (the name he picked for himself for when he’s mentioned here), has been checking every Sunday to hear about what I’ve done and what I’ve drawn for the coming week. He’s made some excellent suggestions along the way, and helped me to rehash and reevaluate post-Nudge thoughts. A few times I’ve asked if he’s wanted to do the Nudge with me, but he’s always declined. Up till this week.

We’ve both been super-busy with work commitments, with additional events happening after hours and on weekends. It’s a lot. And lately I’ve found our daily check-in conversation goes something like this:

Venus: How was your day?

Mars: Fine.

Venus: How are you?

Mars: Fine.

Venus: What’s on your mind?

Mars: Nothing.

So yesterday we took Louie the dog out for a long walk and caught up. After our usual check-ins (see above), he shared with me that he’s dragging around the weight of not knowing what he wants to do with the last half of his life, a dilemma I can certainly relate to. Many of our friends are retiring from careers and now have time to pursue long-time passions and hobbies. What might ours be? We’ve talked about signing up for classes, brainstorming, getting creative about figuring this out…. No surprise, to him (to many of us) the prospect of figuring out The Rest of Our Lives is overwhelming.

I shared with him the questions Saeeda shared with me during our interview a couple of months ago (read it here): Not “What do you want to do?” in life, but “How do you want to feel?” There are no right/wrong answers, I said to Thor. “You can pick intellectually challenged, silly, strong, relaxed, content, intrigued, entertained…let’s start with how you’d like to feel and we’ll figure out the doing part later.”

Over brunch I suggested we brainstorm some ideas for this. Not happening. Okay. But mid-afternoon he told me he’d decided his Nudge for this week would be “Go to the gym 3 times.” Perfect.

I will be doing this Nudge with him. It’s my hope that we’ll go to the gym together on some, if not all, outings, but since he likes to get up at 4:00 am (and I, well, don’t), we’ll see how it goes.

As we head into this week, I’m thinking about how having someone as an accountability partner can nudge us a little further. Or it can simply make it more fun. If you don’t have a spouse or significant other, think about asking a friend to join you in a Nudge. If that doesn’t feel comfortable to you, then consider making me your partner. Share your chosen Nudge for the week, update me in comments, and at the end of the week, let me know how you did. Let’s encourage each other to fuller lives.

Nudged: Get 8 hours of sleep every night

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Backstory: Well, um, I need to get more and better sleep.

I keep hearing about how lack of sleep effects everything, including my ability to lose weight. I know I need to be better about this, but it always seems to be the easiest thing to cut when deadlines and to do lists and responsibilities are hanging over me.

It’s no coincidence that I recently finished reading the August issue of National Geographic, for which the theme is “The Science of Sleep.”

Did you know “anyone who regularly sleeps less than six hours has a higher risk of depression, psychosis, stroke, and obesity”?

Yikes.

So this week I’m going to walk away from the office, turn off the TV, ignore the phone, and catch some extra zzzzzs.

 

P.S. For inspiration and motivation, I recommend you read the book Thrive by Arianna Huffington. No spoilers, but she got a “wake-up call” when sleep deprivation became a real problem from her—then she took the steps to make a good night’s sleep a priority in her life.

 

What Happened: Here is a photo of my cozy nest, my new Happy Place:

I nailed this Nudge. Every night this week I was in bed, lights out, by 11:00. Most nights I was tucked in before 10. This is huge for me. And even though there were a couple of nights when I woke up in the wee hours, this week I was able to go back to sleep after a short break. (Typically I am wide awake and up for a few hours—hello, hormonal fluctuations!) My daily average: 8.33 hours.

I wish I could tell you how I managed to pull this off, but I didn’t do anything other than set an intention to go to bed at a “decent” hour and then do it. No reading one more chapter, no running one more load of laundry, no replying to one (or two or ten) more emails. Lights out!

The Ah-Hahs: To completely skew all scientific research on this Nudge, I also decided to make this a week of (almost) no online news. I didn’t read the stories about local crime on SFGate, check on our country’s standing on the international stage on BBC, like any postings from “friends” on Facebook, or keep up with the Kardashians on People.

I can’t tell you if all of the above or parts contributed to weight loss (didn’t weigh in this week) or helped me be more creative and productive in my work or made me less susceptible to serious health issues. But I can tell you I feel good today. I might even say I feel rested.

Wow.

 

Nudging: Get 8 hours of sleep every night

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Backstory: Well, um, I need to get more and better sleep.

I keep hearing about how lack of sleep effects everything, including my ability to lose weight. I know I need to be better about this, but it always seems to be the easiest thing to cut when deadlines and to do lists and responsibilities are hanging over me.

It’s no coincidence that I recently finished reading the August issue of National Geographic, for which the theme is “The Science of Sleep.”

Did you know “anyone who regularly sleeps less than six hours has a higher risk of depression, psychosis, stroke, and obesity”?

Yikes.

So this week I’m going to walk away from the office, turn off the TV, ignore the phone, and catch some extra zzzzzs.

 

P.S. For inspiration and motivation, I recommend you read the book Thrive by Arianna Huffington. No spoilers, but she got a “wake-up call” when sleep deprivation became a real problem from her—then she took the steps to make a good night’s sleep a priority in her life.

Nudged: Visit a new-to-me bookshop (again)

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Backstory: What the…?! Didn’t I already…? Yes!

I must have put the wadded-up piece of paper back into the bowl, because this was one of my earliest Nudges. Ha! (Read the original Nudged post here.)

I could have tossed it, but the “rules” say I “have” to do what I’ve drawn, and I don’t want to waste one of my remaining passes.

The really crazy thing is that I am going somewhere this coming week that will be capital-p Perfect for this Nudge. No coincidences here!

Meanwhile, if you’re new to this site, take a look at the original “Visit a new-to-me bookshop” Nudge for inspiration for what you might do this week. You might go to the charming neighborhood shop and browse a section that’s not your usual destination (Poetry instead of Mysteries, or Biographies about grown-ups for you instead of YA and Children’s Lit for your kids). If books aren’t your thing, maybe you can go to a music shop or a hobby shop or a spice shop. I hope you will Nudge yourself out of your “nest” and expand your horizons. More than that, I hope you will have some FUN this week!

What Happened: Greetings from Portland, Oregon! If you are a bibliophile like me, you now know why this Nudge (a repeat) was absolutely perfect for this week: Portland is the home of Powell’s Books, the world’s largest independent book store. The funny part is, when I planned our get-outta-town vacation, I had not included this on our list of things to do and see. Yet Powell’s to me is like the god of all book stores, the Mother Ship, my Mecca.

 

I could have easily spent a full day there, wandering, touching, learning, exploring. The Rare Book Room itself was worth the whole trip. Naturally, I’d planned to just look. Naturally, I left with a bag of new books. 🙂

The Ah-Hahs: My husband and I work long hours and long days for long stretches of time. We take on a lot of responsibilities in both our jobs and personal lives. We were desperate for a vacation, but couldn’t come up with some place where we really really wanted to go, so Portland happened on a whim. We had a great time, but I think we need to be more intentional about how we spend our vacation time and dollars. We’re starting to talk about what might be our other Meccas, including places we want to see and experience while we’re physically able (time is not our friend on this). Machu Picchu comes to mind. A return to Paris. A walking trip through the Cotswolds. A long visit with my oldest girlfriend.

What is your Mecca? Can you start today planning how you might get there?

In addition to visiting Powell’s, we also wandered the fabulous Japanese Garden. We have a fabulous Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park, about 15 minutes from home, a place we’ve visited…never. In my 10 years in the city, in his 20-plus, we’ve never once set foot inside the gates. They even have days when entry is free to city residents. No excuses!

So, in addition to creating a list of far-flung places we want to visit, we’re making a list of places we might discover on a stay-cation: historical walking tours, the city’s “best” donuts/signature cocktails/brunch, the coolest spots for people-watching.

I hope you’ll share with me some of your inspirations, then watch for some of those to appear on the List for future Nudges.

Nudged: Say “No” to something

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Backstory: It was just a few months ago that I shared my experience of “The gift of saying ‘No (thank you).’” (Read the original 52+ post here). Even though I know the benefits of this Nudge, I’m still a little nervous. What if nothing happens this week? What if I can’t say “no” to anything? What if I get tangled up in all the shoulds?

So this week’s Nudge is one of those leap-of-faith things in which I trust the answers and direction will come.

What Happened: “What if nothing happens this week?” Hello, hilarious! I had not just one, but many opportunities to exercise this Nudge:

  • Was asked to chair a committee for a volunteer organization that comes with big responsibilities and a major time commitment. I was flattered to be asked, yet, after thinking about where I want my time and energy to go right now and in the near future, I said, “No, thank you.”
  • A friend of a friend of a friend reached out to me for help writing content for their business. I took at look at what they were doing, sent over a letter of introduction with samples of my work, and suggested how I might contribute. She replied with an offer that is ¼ the market rate for my services. I replied, “No, thank you.”
  • I put on a dress that’s been in the back of my closet for some time, one that now (thanks to recent efforts) fits. I wondered why I hadn’t worn it much before, until I saw myself in the mirror. It wasn’t me. It’s very pretty, but the angles hit me wrong and the color washes me out. I needed to hustle to get myself out the door for an event that evening, but I took a few minutes to change into something else that made me feel confident, sexy, attractive, approachable, and authentic. Then I folded up the first dress and put it in the box for donation to Goodwill.
  • That same night, I wanted ice cream. Really really wanted ice cream. Then I remembered how good it felt to slip into a dress a size smaller than what I’ve worn for some time and said “No, thank you” to the offer to stop for a cone.
  • Friday night, 6:07 pm. My mind said, “Just one…maybe tw-three more emails!” My heart said, “No.” I turned off the light, walked out of the office, and started my weekend.

The Ah-Hah: I missed one opportunity, and it’s eating away at me. I was at a social event, one held in honor of a colleague. I found myself stuck at a table with a conversation that was…uncomfortable. I don’t want to out anyone or reveal details, so let’s just say the opinions being floated directly contradicted my values.

But it wasn’t the place or the environment to argue. It would have been inappropriate to speak my mind, though I was tempted to not only offer an alternative perspective, but to strongly condemn the original.

So I bit my tongue. Literally. I didn’t want to take the spotlight off our guest of honor (even though the speaker was doing just that), so I did nothing. I wanted to get up from the table and walk out, but again, that would have caused a “scene.” So I stayed. And I bit. And I seethed.

If this happens again, under the same circumstances, I’m not sure if I would behave differently. But there remains a part of me that wishes I had stood up and said, “Hell. No.”

Nudging: Say “No” to something

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Backstory: It was just a few months ago that I shared my experience of “The gift of saying ‘No (thank you).’” (Read the original 52+ post here). Even though I know the benefits of this Nudge, I’m still a little nervous. What if nothing happens this week? What if I can’t say “no” to anything? What if I get tangled up in all the shoulds?

So this week’s Nudge is one of those leap-of-faith things in which I trust the answers and direction will come.