Tag Archives: beauty

Nudging: Buy a new houseplant

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Buon giorno! I’m back from a fun and relaxing vacation, hoping to hang on to my calm new perspective for a while and use this clarity to help me move forward discovering and pursuing what most feeds my soul. In the next few weeks I’m going to be revisiting everything Nudging and thinking and planning for a new round of 52 Nudges. I hope you’ll join me! In the meantime, I pulled the following to get me back in the Nudging groove. Here we go!

Backstory: I have no recollection of why I put this on the list. It doesn’t feel dramatic or uncomfortable, other than spending money on things like new houseplants is way down at the bottom of the to do list. We have plenty of plants, and I like having fresh flowers in my office and bedroom especially. Hmmmm…. This one could be a dud.

 

Seeking guest bloggers! Would you be interested in sharing your experience with a Nudge? Or maybe introducing a Nudge of your own, letting us all follow along, then following up with your “What Happened” and “Ah-Hahs”? I’d love to include some new voices in this. Send me a message here and I’ll get back to you with details.

Re-Nudging: Wear red lipstick every day

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I’m on vacation–a real, fully unplugged vacation! While I’m out, I’m re-running a couple of favorite Nudges. You might try them again for yourself, read them simply for entertainment, or use them as inspiration to try one of your own new Nudges this week. When I get back, keep an eye on this space for news about a rebooting of 52Nudges in the fall. I’d love to have you join me. And if you haven’t already, sign up to receive the posts in your inbox. Subscribing is FREE. Cheers! — Kathleen

Backstory: I laughed out loud when I unscrolled this one. The idea behind this Nudge is to make me feel powerful, to boost my self-esteem, to embolden myself. Embolden—is that a great word or what? That’s all good, but what made me laugh is I picked this on week when likely the only two other beings I’ll see are my husband and dog. Alright, I’ll have to go to the grocery store one day, and I am scheduled for a hair trim on Friday, but otherwise, this is for me. Ah-hah. This is for me.

What Happened: This one almost derailed my whole 52Nudges project. I was extremely uncomfortable going out in red lipstick, and I did go out for errands and other walks around the neighborhood. Red lipstick isn’t me, and I felt like a fraud. If you look at my closet, it’s filled with pastels and corals and cheery colors of spring. Not fade-into-the-background, but certainly not in-your-face colors. I don’t know what I was expecting to learn from this challenge, but…well, nothing came of it….

The Ah-Hah: …Or maybe something did. Maybe the lesson is recognizing what is right for me. Despite what all the fashion magazines claim, maybe a bold red isn’t what I need to feel bold. Maybe I’m at my boldest and best in a warm coral that says “Hello. This is me.”

 

Nudged: Do my “do” (hair) 4x

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Backstory: Back in the day (high school), I would allow as much as two hours to wash, blow dry, set in hot rollers, and style my hair.

Sure, right.

That doesn’t happen very often these days, and “forcing” myself to do this will definitely be outside my comfort zone. However. Through some previous Nudges, I’ve realized that when I pull myself together, I feel better, and I carry myself better. I even included this practice as one of the things that might help me get my mojo back.

Let’s “do” this. 😉

What Happened:

Monday: Never so much as brushed my hair.

Tuesday: Threw myself together with kind of a fun and slightly messy bun. I’m no Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, but it worked.

Wednesday: I don’t have time for this sh*t! Geez! I work, I support friends and family, I keep the house standing. And somehow I’m supposed to make time to be runway ready?! I got myself to the gym and showered in the morning, then went straight to work. I had to run a couple of errands, and went out without makeup and hair that looked like it had been styled by Thor (the god who controls lightning, not my husband). I was That Woman in line at the market praying Please don’t let me run into anybody I know. Please. I’m begging. Happy to report my prayers were answered on this one. But geez. I felt like a hot mess, and I wanted to be invisible. That evening my husband had a work event, so at 4:45 I plugged in the trusty flat iron and rallied.

Thursday: Got a free pass today as Second Day Hair looked good with no special effort required. (I love my flat iron). Felt slightly better about myself when I went to the market. That afternoon, I caught up with a friend, another writer who also works from a home office. She mentioned she’s been feeling out of sorts lately, uninspired, unmotivated. So she took a cue from FlyLady (I love FlyLady) and tried dressing for work. Today, for example, instead of staying in yoga clothes all day, she put on nice slacks and an office-worthy cardigan instead of the ratty old thing we pull on when we think “Only the dog is going to see me today.” She brushed her hair, swiped on some mascara and lip gloss, and slipped into actual shoes…and had her most productive day in ages.

Friday: Got up early and gave myself a decent blowout, which made me sweaty. What a pain! Dressed for a business meeting off site—sweater, straight skirt, tights and boots—I checked myself out in the rearview mirror and thought, “Lookin’ good, Kath.” The meeting went well, and I had a productive afternoon. Toward the end of the day, I noticed I wasn’t slumping. I was sitting up straighter than usual for late on a Friday.

A Good(ish) Hair Day

 

Ah-Hah: I must confess, I’ve been in a deep, dark funk lately. There was one day last week when the only thing that got me out of bed was I needed to feed the dog. I’m not sure what this is. Maybe it’s the change in seasons. Maybe it’s the overabundance of rain (dammit) we’ve had this year. (I’m a Southern California, “69 degrees is cold”, I need my sunshine kinda gal). Maybe…I don’t know.

But I’m not throwing in the towel, and I’m returning again and again to my Mojo prompts to get through this. This doing my ’do Nudge is part of my efforts, and it was inspired in part by Elizabeth Gilbert.

In her book about living a creative life, Big Magic, she talks about how you should dress for work the way you would dress if you were going to meet your lover. Think about it. If you were dashing out, all excited and breathless, for a romantic rendezvous, you wouldn’t schlep about in yoga pants and a faded, stretched-out T-shirt. You’d dress in your very best, from the lacy underwear to your fanciest perfume. So, how are you meeting your work? Maybe it’s time to show it some respect, to demonstrate that it is your greatest passion.

I’m going to keep at this. I’m going to continue to do what I can to present myself to the world—or just to the dog—in a way that makes me feel my best. I’m going to do this for my work. Better yet, let’s do this for ourselves!

 

Nudging: Do my “do” (hair) 4x

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Backstory: Back in the day (high school), I would allow as much as two hours to wash, blow dry, set in hot rollers, and style my hair.

Sure, right.

That doesn’t happen very often these days, and “forcing” myself to do this will definitely be outside my comfort zone. However. Through some previous Nudges, I’ve realized that when I pull myself together, I feel better, and I carry myself better. I even included this practice as one of the things that might help me get my mojo back.

Let’s “do” this. 😉

Nudged: Wear a different hat x4

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Backstory: What makes me feel comfortable, feel good, feel like me? I’ve amassed quite a collection of hats over the years, from travels and gifts and some spontaneous as well as thoughtful purchases. Yet I’ve noticed recently that I gravitate to the same few over and over. So this Nudge is part closet purging and part getting clear on what feels right for me.

What Happened:

Monday: Worked from home all day. Wasn’t feeling it.

Tuesday: Well, this was fun. I quickly purged three hats:

(1) The old hat I used to wear running that is so badly stained (i.e., disgusting) that I wouldn’t dare wear it in public again. “Yet,” my inner debater said, “it is a great lightweight hat for running.” “Yet,” said my inner reasonable woman, “it’s been ages since you went running. If you get back into it, you can buy a clean new hat to motivate yourself.” Into the trash!

(2) A heavyweight winter baseball cap that was a fun gift, but that has always been uncomfortable. The cardboard bill has never relaxed, and it’s given me a headache every time I’ve worn it. Donate!

(3) Two hats that look far too much like a certain politically charged hat (one that was recently deemed a symbol of hate—yikes!). I have felt uncomfortable wearing both in public because I didn’t want to be mistaken for taking sides. I tried them on again, and one, actually, is not that comfortable. Donate! The other, actually, feels really good on, and maybe it doesn’t look that much like the offensive hat. I chose to wear it while running errands, to see if it got a reaction and how I felt in it. No big deal. This might be a keeper.

Wednesday: Had a client event tonight. My hair looked ah-mazing!, so didn’t want to smoosh it into hat head.

Thursday: Second-day hair looked not quite so amazing. Good thing it’s hat Nudging week! Pulled out one of my favorites, one that doesn’t get worn nearly enough. Paired it with a nice turtleneck, cool shades, lovely earrings, and the “good” trenchcoat (that also doesn’t get taken out enough). I felt so chic!

Me so chic!

Friday: Today I took a sick day. My body said, “Rest,” and for once I listened. Even though I knew I wouldn’t be going out, I took a few minutes to pull the remaining hats from my closet—winter, spring, summer, fall—and try all them on. So cute! I am already thinking about outfits I might put together when the sun comes out.

The last hat I pulled on was a cap a dear friend knitted for me. Baby soft, in my favorite color (lime green), it was like receiving a hug from her. So I left it on and will wear it while I curl up with tea and a good book and take care of myself today.

Ah-Hahs: When I wear something special—a jaunty hat, the “good” jewelry—I feel better. This week’s Nudge reaffirmed how being nice to myself and dressing well impacts everything I do during the day. It’s pretty simple.

I also had a lot of fun feeling chic. This reminded me of when I stopped in a local café several years ago for a coffee and pastry and couldn’t help but notice a woman seated a few tables away. She wasn’t supermodel gorgeous, she wasn’t famous; she’d possibly be described as “a woman of a certain age.” But she had something, and I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Sitting with just lovely posture, she sipped her cappuccino, nibbled her pastry, and read the daily paper. She was wearing dark jeans, a nice cotton blouse, a navy blazer with gold buttons, and gold pumps. Gold shoes! Fabulous!

Feeling somewhat invisible in my sloppy dog-park attire (tragic, but real), I snuck a photo of her with my phone. I printed it out and tacked it to a board in my office for inspiration because I wanted to be like her. That photo stayed on my board for several years until I accepted I can be like her. Or rather, I am my best me.

Go be your best you. ♥

 

Nudged: Purchase a new nail polish color

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Backstory: I have a small confession. One of my “crazy” dream jobs is to be the person who creates the names on nail polishes. Just imagine: I’d get to research trends, expense mani-pedis, create fun puns all day long—and get paid for it! I’m not sure how to go about putting myself in the running for open positions (Hello, Sally Hansen!), but for now I can spice things up with a hot new color. 🙂

What Happened: While waiting for a prescription to be filled on Monday, I wandered the nail polish aisle. Naturally I was drawn to the peaches and corals, and this season, the reds, but I already have an adequate selection of those in my little basket at home. So I decided to go a different route. Instead of shopping for a color, I shopped for a name, for something I want to live up to. There is one called “Fearless” (perfect!), but it was too similar to reds already in my collection, so I passed.

Alas, I didn’t fall in love with anything I saw in that first shopping excursion. So late Tuesday morning I took myself out for a break from work and walked to another neighborhood drug store. I went back and forth down the aisle, considering names and colors and prices. Did I really want to spend $9 on one bottle? Not really. Did I want to risk spending under $2 on a cheap brand? Not really. I finally narrowed my selection to two options: “Good as Blue” and “Rags to Riches”. Both are outside of my normal palette, and I thought both could be fun to manifest in the days ahead. Which one? I liked the blue color better but the purple name better. Lucky for me, they were on sale, and I got two for about the price of one. Score!

I put the Good for Blue on my nails after lunch. It’s fabulous. It’s out there. I imagine my grandmother, who only wore clear and pale pinks that I can recall, rolling her eyes. Does this make me look younger and hipper, or older and pathetic? I don’t care!

Late Wednesday, just before shutting down for the day, I checked out the Sally Hansen website and found these quotes:

“You can do something about anything. You can and must improve constantly.” – Sally Hansen, Los Angeles Times, 1934

“Beauty to a woman in power. Power to believe in herself.” – Sally, Los Angeles Times, 1934

Did you know the company was founded in 1946 by Sally herself? It isn’t just a brand name. She launched with just two nail products, and today over 300 shades are distributed in over 55 countries. Way to go, Sally!

Ah-Hahs: I spent quite a bit of time exploring the Sally Hansen website and learned this on the About page:

“In a time when women ran households not companies, Sally defied husbands, parents, and society in general, to create the life and beauty she wanted for herself, by herself.”

What a fascinating woman! She and Estee Lauder and Helena Rubenstein (also real people, not just brand names) were pioneers, trail-blazers, and role models.

I encourage you to read Sally’s full story here and think about how she can inspire you. For me, in the moment, I decided to “go for it.” I couldn’t find a link to job listings or any kind of Careers page on the site, so I emailed them through the general Contact page. Maybe they hire freelancers. Maybe their creative staff works out of San Francisco and they’re looking for someone just like me. Maybe they will ignore me altogether and I’ll never hear back. What matters most to me, though, is that I got up the courage to ask.

I’m opening my own doors, thank you very much. And thank you, Ms. Hansen (Can I call you Sally?) for inspiring me.

Nudged: Clear off dresser top; end of week, redo

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Backstory: It’s not the worst hot spot in the house, but as I take in what’s there—what has been sitting there for years—I’m ashamed. Photos of cute toddlers (who are now teenagers with driver’s licenses), old CDs that have lost their cases (can’t recall the last time I listened to them), favorite items of jewelry that need repair (and so have been unworn and unappreciated), Mardi Gras beads…Mardi Gras beads? Really?

 

Before.

What Happened: After pulling everything off and setting it aside in a box for later review, I gave the mirror a good Windex shine and wiped off the layer of dust that had accumulated. I was going to polish the antique wood, but discovered we were out of polish. I wanted to give this beautiful piece of furniture, which has been with me since elementary school, some love, so lemony polish was added to the grocery list, and midweek it got its “massage”.

During.

Several times during the week I caught myself thinking, “I’ll just set this laundry/book/mug/clipping/to do list here for a minute.” But having the dresser top completely empty caused me to stop and do otherwise, which usually meant putting the item in its own place. (Ah-hah.) The practice also caused me to be more aware of the other hot spots in our home: the dining room table continues to be the catch-all, the spare table in the kitchen continues to “temporarily” house many items that don’t fit in our limited storage space.

By coincidence (or not), I talked to two friends who have been more aggressively clearing out clutter after reading the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo. They look at each item and ask themselves, “Does this bring me joy?” If not, out it goes. One friend, who is further along in the process, told me she no longer has any knickknacks, no longer has anything to dust. Now that’s appealing! She realized what gives her true joy is spending time with friends, being outside with her dogs, going on hikes. So that’s how she now spends her time. I find that a little scary (giving up my stuff) and very intriguing.

What did I discover brought me joy? A crystal bowl with a few flowers floating it in. That’s it! Simple, beautiful. And no junk around it to distract me

Will I keep it this way? I still have the box of stuff off to the side because I don’t yet know what to do with it. Perhaps a couple of family photos will make their way back, and the jewelry needs to go somewhere (other than a cardboard box on the floor). We’ll see.

The Ah-Hah: I look at the top of my dresser every day, several times a day, and on some conscious or unconscious level it makes an impression: This is a mess. You are a mess. Add this to your to do list. Pull yourself together!

I realize declutting nudges have appeared several times over the past months, which sometimes feels annoying to me (and maybe to you, too). But I have come to believe it’s more than just throwing out old stuff. In the process I’m clearing space to allow more light, joy, and creativity into my life. I’m uncovering underused treasures while acknowledging other items that have served their purposes and can now go delight someone else. I’m making way for calm and peace. And so I keep at it.

I’d love to hear how you’re doing with all this. You already know I’m a big fan of the FlyLady (a free site where you are lovingly encouraged to clear all sorts of clutter from your life), and I’m curious about the tidying-up book mentioned above.

What are you doing? How are you doing? What are you discovering about yourself in the process? I hope you’ll share.

 

Nudged: Wear the nice jewelry

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Backstory: This one was recommended by a reader (you know who you are—thank you!), and aligns with the Nudges like “Use the good china/silver.” I think it’s about enjoying our treasures and treating ourselves with respect. I’m mean, shoot, if I’d given someone a really special necklace, I’d love to see her wearing it, right? So off I go. Let’s see what this Nudge has in store for us.

P.S. Not into jewelry? Think about what other nice things you have that you don’t enjoy often enough. Maybe this is the week you “splurge” on the fancy box of tea or chocolates. Maybe instead of slaving away in the kitchen every night this week (hello, martyr), you dig into that stash of emergency cash and take you and your loved one(s) out for a nice meal. The key word here is “nice”. What’s something nice you can do for yourself?

What Happened: Isn’t this a fabulous necklace? I bought it eight years ago to wear for my wedding, and although I ended up wearing a different ensemble on my big day, this pretty piece has graced my neck countless days since.

To quote Valerie (Carol Kane) in The Princess Bride, “Liar! Liar! Liaaaaaaaaaar!”

Today was the first time EVER I have worn this necklace. After its initial rejection, it was placed in a velvet bag inside a special jewelry box, that was tucked into a bigger box, that was stuffed into the very back corner of my closet—for eight years! I completely forgot I owned it, or any of the other “special” pieces that shared its hideaway.

The day I wore it out this week, friends went mad for it. “You look fabulous! You should wear red more often! That necklace is gorgeous!”

I am completely beating myself up over this. Why have I denied myself the pleasure of wearing this for so long? What other treasures (and possible crap) is buried in the dumping ground that my closet has become?

Although I pulled out other bags and boxes, I didn’t adorn myself in forgotten jewels every day. Some are definitely special occasion and will have to wait. But I did wear a family ring I’d received as a college graduation gift, and I decided it is time to pass an heirloom necklace on to a niece. (It will look so pretty on her, and I plan to tell her it’s “lucky” because of its heritage.) I also pulled out a couple of other pieces that I’ve kept for sentimental reasons (a necklace sent as a thank you from a friend with whom I’ve lost touch) and others I’ve kept because they were expensive (including a fancy and clearly expensive pin that I’ve taken off every time I’ve put it on because it didn’t feel like “me”). Some I’ll re-gift, others I’ll donate. None appear to be worth trying to sell, but imagine if I’d found something like that. What’s hiding in your closet?

The Ah-Ha: Funny that this should come so soon after my Nudge to “Wander an expensive store, touch everything I want”, as it reinforced my Ah-Ha that I really don’t need to buy anything new for myself right now. I have plenty.

In pulling out the long-lost treasures, not only did I get a chance to clear out some things, but I rediscovered some that truly give me pleasure. Now that I can see them, I hope I will be more likely to remember to wear them. This Nudge was girly, and it was fun, and I felt good about myself.

And here’s the other part: Although I thought about wearing my finest jewels with my gym clothes, I didn’t. Every day I was inspired to dress the part. Not over-the-top New York socialite of a certain age (pu-lease), but nicely put together. Hair classically styled, shirt without a speck of balsamic vinaigrette, a pop of color in a jacket or sweater, clean pants (ie., no Louie paw prints on my butt), shoes that aren’t from Nike. I pulled myself together. I stood a little taller. I respected myself. And I am pretty sure I projected that to the outside world. Interesting how that happens.

 

Nudging: Wear the nice jewelry

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Backstory: This one was recommended by a reader (you know who you are—thank you!), and aligns with the Nudges like “Use the good china/silver.” I think it’s about enjoying our treasures and treating ourselves with respect. I’m mean, shoot, if I’d given someone a really special necklace, I’d love to see her wearing it, right? So off I go. Let’s see what this Nudge has in store for us.

P.S. Not into jewelry? Think about what other nice things you have that you don’t enjoy often enough. Maybe this is the week you “splurge” on the fancy box of tea or chocolates. Maybe instead of slaving away in the kitchen every night this week (hello, martyr), you dig into that stash of emergency cash and take you and your loved one(s) out for a nice meal. The key word here is “nice”. What’s something nice you can do for yourself?

Nudging: Buy flowers for the office

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Backstory: This is all about one thing: self care. I should put that in caps: SELF CARE! I suck at this. Oh, I’m great at taking care of others. I call to check in on friends and family members, send notes in sympathy and appreciation, deliver the occasional small gift, remember the milestone events big and small, and drop off flowers, sometimes anonymously. (See the “Do a Fairy Deed” Nudge in April.) But do nice things for myself? Not so much…up until now….

P.S. For me this week, it’s about getting out and spending a little bit of money on myself, to treat myself to some everyday beauty. Other times when I’ve wanted to do this, I’ve had to get a little creative. Maybe there is something blooming in the backyard. That works in a pinch. I say weeds, my husband says wildflowers. If it’s pretty, pick it! Who cares? I’ve also been known to cut branches from our lemon or olive trees and arrange a vase with just the greenery. Or maybe this is a Nudge to stop and talk with the neighbor whose garden you’ve so been admiring. You might get a cutting for your efforts, and it might even be the start of a beautiful new friendship.